by Katie Ginger
The acrid smell of vomit hit her nostrils as soon as the door was open. She blanched and peeked inside. The place was an absolute mess. Empty wine bottles littered the hallway and she walked through to see a toilet bowl full of sick. The bed sheets were rucked up and the bedroom stank of stale alcohol with more bottles scattered over the floor. She held her breath and prepared for the living room. Food wrappers, magazines, and general dirt and debris were strewn everywhere. Lexi tried to take a quick breath in and raced round opening all the windows before she went to get Stella. She had to see this in case she wanted to keep some money from his deposit.
Lexi pushed the shop door with such force she had to catch it before it bounced off the wall and broke all the glass. Even Frank looked up as she marched in. Luckily there were no customers. ‘Stella, you have to come and see the flat. I don’t want to touch it until you’ve seen it.’
‘What? Is it really that bad?’ Stella stood up, her eyes wide in panic, but Lexi couldn’t lie.
‘Yes. It’s awful. And it stinks of sick.’
‘Oh no.’ Stella ran a hand through her hair. ‘I was worried this might happen. I saw him go to the shop and come back with another full carrier bag. I was hoping it was mostly food but it obviously wasn’t. Oh God.’ She rubbed her hand over her forehead. ‘Let’s go then.’
Stella shoved Frank into the flat then flicked the sign to closed and locked the door. When they reached the apartment Lexi let Stella go first and she stumbled in shock. ‘Eww, it reeks in here. This is even worse than I thought.’ She turned to Lexi as they wandered through, pausing at the living room door. ‘I’ll help you clean this. You can’t do it on your own.’
‘What about the shop?’
‘It’ll just have to stay closed. We’ve only got a couple of hours. How the hell are we going to get rid of that stink?’
Lexi, who after having two children, was well practised in getting rid of the smell of sick, said, ‘If we can get rid of the source of it and open all the windows it should clear pretty quickly. I’ll spray air fresheners everywhere too. If we’re lucky the next people will be late arriving and we can give it a good airing. Have you done the gift basket?’
‘Yeah. It’s down in the flat. I’ll bring that up later. Right.’ Stella rolled her shoulders back and Lexi found her calm demeanour reassuring. ‘Shall we separate or tackle each room together?’
‘Let’s work together,’ Lexi replied. ‘I think if we start in the bathroom that’ll make a big difference.’ She went through to the kitchen and opened her cleaning cupboard, pulling out the tray of products. She grabbed her rubber gloves plus a pair for Stella, and all sorts of different spray cleaners and bleach, before leading the way.
Stella retched when she entered the bathroom. ‘Oh, that is so gross.’
‘You get used to it when you have kids, but yep, it is pretty gross.’ Lexi flushed the toilet, pushed the already open window as wide as it would go, and poured half a bottle of bleach down the toilet and the sink. Stella opened a couple of bin bags, chucked the dirty towels into one and emptied the bin into another. From behind the cistern Lexi found an empty bottle of Merlot and another hidden behind the door. After a good scrub round, the smell, in that room at least, began to fade.
Next was the bedroom. Stella carried the bin bag of dirty washing and she and Lexi approached the bed with caution. As they pulled back the sheets a surge of queasiness overtook Lexi when she smelled, then saw, the pile of sick in the middle. The man had tried to cover it up by pulling the sheets over it, but once it had been revealed the whole room reeked. Luckily, they hadn’t tugged the sheets and sent it flying over the walls like a disgusting Jackson Pollock. ‘If this man ever comes back,’ said Lexi. ‘I’m going to rub his face in this like people used to do to dogs. That is so gross. Even my kids manage to get their sick in a bowl or down the toilet.’
Stella nodded, looking slightly shell-shocked. She clearly hadn’t bargained for this sort of thing. ‘I think I’ll be emailing and letting him know I’ll be keeping some of his deposit for new bedding.’
‘Some? You’re way too nice. I’d keep all of it.’
They worked in harmony together, clearing the rubbish, cleaning the surfaces with disinfectant, then sweeping and mopping the floor. How he thought they wouldn’t discover the bottles under the bed Lexi had no idea. The man must have drunk nothing but wine for his entire stay. The living room was tackled with equal frenzy and finally the hall. By the time they finished at a quarter to three, only fifteen minutes before check-in time, the apartment smelt only vaguely of sick but very strongly of disinfectant.
‘It smells like a public toilet,’ moaned Stella. ‘What can we do?’
‘Don’t panic,’ Lexi replied. ‘I’ve got a plan. I reckon if we keep the windows wide open, it’ll be fine in an hour.’
‘But it’s already nearly three. They could turn up any minute.’
Lexi shrugged. ‘You’re going to have to convince them to go for a walk first if they arrive soon. With any luck they’ll be super late. Or see if they’re hungry and send them into me and Raina. We can do them a nice afternoon tea on the vintage cake stands. Make it an added extra.’
‘Thank you,’ said Stella, taking Lexi in a big hug. ‘I don’t know what I’d have done without you today.’
Lexi returned the embrace feeling the same. ‘You’re welcome, sweetie. I don’t know about you, but I’ll be ready for a big glass of wine tonight. I’d better get back to the café.’ She hurried past Stella towards the door.
‘I’ll definitely be having a large glass of wine – white, not red though,’ and she gave a theatrical shudder. Stella followed Lexi out of the apartment and locked the door behind them.
‘Have you heard from the poet at all? I’ve been meaning to ask,’ said Lexi.
‘No. Nothing. I’ve texted him but he hasn’t responded. I’m guessing his love for me was fleeting.’
‘How do you feel about that?’ she asked with a grin.
‘To be honest I’m not the slightest bit bothered,’ Stella replied evenly. ‘The only thing I’m bothered about is that I’m not going to be able to ask him to Isaac’s wedding so I’m back to square one.’
At the bottom of the stairs Lexi gave Stella a quick hug. ‘Don’t worry, honey, I’m sure things will work out in the end.’
Stella headed off into the shop and Lexi went into the café. Her feet, back and neck were already aching as she made her way past the busy tables. It was going to be a struggle to get through to the end of the day. She knew that this evening would end up like all the others – with her falling asleep on the sofa, only this time without the kids. Another pang of guilt hit her as she thought of them with their daddy. Sometimes she really missed them – all of them.
***
Saturday morning Lexi woke up on her own to the sounds of birds singing outside and the house silent. There was something completely delicious about waking up naturally and not being jumped on by small creatures even if they did hug you in the process. She’d already decided on a lazy breakfast of toast topped with poached eggs and the bit of ham left over from the kids’ packed lunches. It was the sort of thing her children would turn their noses up at and moan about all the time she was eating it, which stopped her feeling like a grown-up. Sourdough would have been even better, but at an extortionate amount per loaf she couldn’t afford it. Lexi stretched out her arms and legs and after another snooze decided to get up. She wasn’t due at Vivien’s until eleven so for once she was able to take time over her make-up and wear her very favourite dress.
The sun warmed Lexi’s face and she enjoyed listening to the quiet around her as she walked into town, stopping off at the shop to stock up on some of Vivien’s essentials. She knew her shopping list pretty well by now and it was always the same. If she got most of it now she could pop out later for any extra bits.
As she walked down the high street, taking the time to really look around, she smiled at the people having coffe
es outside in the sunshine. They had an amazing array of artisanal shops now: cheese makers, bakers who were amazing but thankfully didn’t sell the same things as Raina, and a chocolatier. Swallowtail Bay had changed a lot since she was a kid. A gloriously blue sky with not even a hint of cloud formed a canopy over her head.
Vivien’s house was about ten minutes further along from Stella and Miles’s homes in the very poshest part of town and down a wide tree-lined road. Every garden was well tended with mature plants and bushes; some even had enormous trees in them that only helped to illustrate the age of the property. Lexi approached the gate to Vivien’s beautiful old townhouse with its smaller, secluded front garden and walked up the path. Every time she entered through the little iron gate she felt like she was entering another world. The type of world that featured in Victorian novels about fairies. Maybe she and the kids could make a fairy house next weekend. With a grin, she knocked on the door. There was no answer and she waited a few seconds before knocking again, louder this time. Vivien didn’t like to admit it but she was going a bit deaf.
Again Vivien didn’t answer and Lexi hoped she hadn’t forgotten and gone out. She didn’t get much time to herself so when she did she liked to make the most of it and a wasted trip because Vivien had somehow forgotten would ruin half the day. But it wasn’t normal for her to forget anything. She was still sharp as a tack. Lexi clenched her jaw and knocked again using the knocker this time, bashing it down as hard as she could. No sound came from inside and Lexi’s frustration was suddenly replaced with fear. Her body hardened and with trembling fingers she took the spare set of keys from her bag and unlocked the door.
‘Vivien?’ Lexi called, walking down the large hall, her kitten heels tapping on the gorgeous blue geometric tiles. ‘Vivien? It’s Lexi.’ A sudden gasp emerged from Lexi as she rounded the door to the living room and saw Vivien lying on the floor, fully dressed but unmoving. Throwing the shopping bag down she ran over to her. Vivien’s face was grey and her skin cold. Her eyes were closed as if she was sleeping. Shaking all the way to the tips of her fingers Lexi felt on Vivien’s neck for a pulse. There was nothing. Panic had stolen the strength from Lexi’s hands and scared she’d done it wrong, she felt Vivien’s wrist but there was still no pulse. A sudden queasiness rose up from the pit of her stomach, tightening her throat. Lexi’s eyes filled with tears and though she knew it was of no use, she took out her mobile phone and dialled an ambulance.
A couple of hours later, after the appearance of both the ambulance and the police, and numerous questions, Lexi sat outside on the doorstep, with a tin foil blanket wrapped around her shoulders. She’d swept that step so many times and, remembering Vivien, traced her fingers over the grout.
‘Can we call anyone to look after you?’ asked the kind policewoman. She’d arrived a few minutes after the ambulance and seeing the state Lexi was in, had been calm and caring.
Lexi shook her head. ‘No, thanks. I’ll be fine.’
‘We’d really prefer for you not to be on your own at the moment, Miss Durham. You’ve had a bad shock.’
Lexi wiped the tears from her cheeks. She couldn’t seem to stop them no matter how hard she tried or how much she told herself Vivien was old and wouldn’t have lived forever. ‘I’m just going to walk around the corner to my friend’s shop. It’s not far. She’ll look after me.’
‘All right then. You can go whenever you like – there’s nothing more we need from you. I just wanted to make sure you’d be okay.’
‘That’s kind,’ Lexi replied, but inside she felt like a robot. The emotions of the last few hours had been so extreme she felt like a washed-out version of herself; grey and bereft of colour, turning invisible. She scrunched up the tissue in her hand and stood on shaking legs. Another wave of nausea washed over her and swirled in her stomach. Lexi gave the policewoman a faint smile and stumbled away.
The air felt colder than it had earlier that morning and she pulled her jacket tighter around her. The birdsong that had sounded so sweet now stung her ears as their sharp calls pierced the cocoon of grief. Though she tried to fight back tears they wouldn’t stop coming. As it was such a nice day, Stella had wedged the shop door open and was busy arranging stock when Lexi walked in.
‘Hey you— Oh, honey, what’s wrong?’ Stella immediately placed her arms around Lexi, her brow furrowed.
‘It’s Vivien,’ she snivelled. ‘She’s dead.’ She collapsed onto Stella’s shoulder and sobbed.
‘What?’
Lexi struggled for breath against the anguish pushing up from her lungs. ‘She’s dead. I went round there this morning with her shopping but she didn’t answer. When I opened the door she was lying on the floor—’
Stella wiped a tear from her own eye. ‘I can’t believe it. I just can’t believe it. I mean, she looked a bit peaky the other day, but …’
Lexi felt Stella’s arms tighten around her and they both cried. ‘I’m going to miss her so much.’ They both looked up as a customer walked in then immediately turned around and walked back out again.
Stella started patting her back. ‘She was really lovely.’
‘Oh crikey.’ Lexi shot backwards. ‘What will I tell the kids?’
‘I can tell them if you want, Lexi. I don’t mind.’ Stella wiped her eyes and Lexi saw the mascara run down her cheeks.
‘No, it’s okay.’ She tried to pull herself together but her nerves were completely shredded. ‘I’d better tell them. As their mum I should be the one to do it.’
Stella found a tissue in her pocket and blew her nose. ‘Did you want me to stay over tonight so you’re not on your own?’
Lexi thought about it but decided she would probably be better off alone. She didn’t need anyone seeing her all snotty and puffy, but one day she’d tell Stella how much that gesture meant. How much having her as a friend meant. ‘No, thanks, Stella. I think I’d prefer to be on my own with a bottle of wine.’
Coming back again and again, the question was rolling around her head: how the hell was she going to tell her children? How could she comfort them after something like this? They loved Vivien almost as much as she did.
Chapter 21
Just over a week later, Stella and Lexi were clad in black at the sweet little church across the road from the shop and around the corner from Vivien’s house, saying goodbye to her. Lexi, having been closest to Vivien, had taken her loss hard. The kids too required a few days off school because they’d grown so fond of the old lady that they’d been heartbroken by her sudden death.
Stella watched Vivien’s sombre-looking solicitor, Mr Beck, clad in a black suit with black tie, looking suitably mournful. Lexi had said that as Vivien didn’t have any family he had followed the instructions set out in her will and arranged everything as Vivien had requested.
‘At least it’s a sunny day,’ Lexi said, wiping at her eyes before the coffin had even arrived. ‘Vivien would have been happy it was sunny.’
In the churchyard, stood in the shade of the pink blossom trees, Stella rested her head on her shoulder. ‘You’re doing really well, honey.’
‘I’m trying not to cry too much in front of the kids.’ She looked over and Stella followed her gaze to see Will, Lexi’s ex-husband, a giant of a man, holding tightly onto his kids’ tiny hands. They were crying too and Will hugged them close to him and stroked their heads. He looked uncomfortable in his suit but smiled sweetly at Lexi when he saw her looking over. Given her vintage style, Stella had always imagined someone equally as stylish, but Will’s sandy-blond hair, weather-beaten face and thin layer of stubble were anything but. Lexi wiped again at her red nose. For once she hadn’t bothered with her usual eyeliner, and her bloodshot eyes stood out against pale white skin. ‘I wasn’t sure about bringing them, but Will and I talked it through and he thought it would be good for them to say goodbye too. He said he’ll take them home if it gets too much and they’re not staying for the wake. He’s been absolutely brilliant.’
‘He seems a
lovely man.’
‘I’m nothing but trouble to him,’ Lexi replied, suddenly collapsing into tears again.
‘No you’re not.’ Stella patted her arm. ‘You’re wonderful and amazing, and brilliant.’
Lexi took a deep breath trying to control her erratic breathing. ‘Suck it up, Lexi,’ she told herself out loud. ‘Suck it up. Oh, great, now Mr Beck’s coming over.’
Mr Beck approached, his combover flipping the wrong way in the breeze. ‘Miss Durham, the hearse will be here soon.’
‘It can’t. There aren’t nearly enough people yet.’ Lexi gaped around in panic. A fairly decent number of the townsfolk were in attendance, all clad in black and grey. The old ladies who Vivien teasingly referred to as her competition were wiping at their noses with delicate handkerchiefs but Lexi had hoped to see more. ‘Didn’t you say there was a guest list already prepared?’
‘Yes, but—’
‘Is everything all right?’ asked Miles.
Stella glanced up to see him looking completely, mouth-wateringly gorgeous in a well-tailored black suit. He must have heard Lexi’s voice climbing and come over to help. He gave Stella a polite smile. She kept her mouth closed for fear her tongue would roll out like in old cartoons. She knew she shouldn’t be thinking anything of the sort at a funeral, but Miles had suddenly shot up to the premier league looks-wise. His light brown hair had grown a little longer and she noticed now how it curled at the front. His suit fitted well over his broad shoulders and his peacock-blue eyes scanned her in her smart black dress. In her heels she was almost as tall as him and being on eye level she could see that his were a bit puffy and rimmed with red. Again, she wondered what the connection was between him and Vivien because he’d clearly shed a tear for her too.
‘Are you okay, Lexi?’ he asked again.
Lexi’s voice carried a hint of panic as she spoke to Mr Beck. ‘Did you invite them all? Did anyone RSVP?’