“Good, let’s get our shit together and get outta here.” He stated before slinging a camping pack onto his back and waiting for everyone else to be ready. John grabbed the other pack then came over to Rae.
“I’ll take Evie. Nix help your girl get there without passing out, yeah? Remember, her dad has guns.” John winked before picking up Everlynn and walking over to wait with Kenji. Jen had grabbed James out of the capsule, rugged him up in clothes, then tied one of the light blankets around her so she could tuck James into the wrap, laying him against her. She covered him with more blankets then slung the baby bag onto her shoulder and waited with the others. Smart, Rae had wondered how her tiny frame was going to carry the capsule, guess she wasn’t going to. Rae pulled herself up off the cold ground, going to walk before staggering against Nix who caught her. He pulled blankets from the car and placed them over her shoulders, trying to cover as much of her shivering frame as he could, but it weighed her down more and she needed to lean most of her weight onto him. She just wanted to sleep. She was tired and weak, her bones like jelly and her mind shutting down.
“Hold on, Rae. You heard what John said and you know how much I hate guns.” Nix teased, grabbing her waist and pulling her against him. She smiled but couldn’t bring herself to talk. It was too much effort. She dragged her feet, shivering as wind whipped across her bare mid-drift. She wasn’t sure what she had done to deserve the karma she was getting but apparently it was something worth more shit than she was already dealing with because within seconds, small soft balls of snow began falling from the sky. Nix cursed and pulled her closer, half carrying, half dragging her as she strained to keep her eyes open. The only reprieve she had, was that they weren’t attacked, well yet anyway. Whatever was distracting the zombies that night, she was thankful because they would have been screwed, she could barely see straight let alone shoot straight.
After what felt like an eternity, she finally saw Blanca come into view. Sighing in relief, she sagged against Phoenix who stumbled. They had made it.
They walked on, determined to find a working vehicle that would fit them all in or some accommodation that wasn’t filled with human eating creatures at reception when Jen gasped and took off.
“Jen!” Kenji called, running after her, she turned back and pointed to what she was running towards. It was an RV.
Rae hobbled over after them, Nix helping her still, catching up at the same time Kenji finished clearing it. He popped his head out of the door.
“Big enough for all of us, spare key in the sun visor and over half a tank of fuel. Welcome aboard, the saviour.” Kenji grinned, stepping back so they could all pile in. Nix tried to make her sit as soon as they were inside, but she couldn’t. She checked all the cupboards, sighing as she turned to the others.
“There’s no food, though,” Raelynn said “We’ll have to make a trip into the town for food and hope like hell that this place is as quiet as it seems.” she continued.
“No, you can't do it, you’re too weak.” Nix protested.
“Do you really want to go out and face whatever is out there yourself? We all need food, formula and Everlynn needs medicine in case those cuts get infected.” Raelynn replied.
“And I need alcohol.” John pitched in, tipping his bottle upside down to prove its emptiness. Nix sighed in defeat.
“I'll stay with the kids then, be careful please.” he begged Rae. She knew the zombies terrified him and she couldn’t begrudge him for not wanting to face them, but she couldn’t help how much it hurt that he wasn’t going to come with her. Pushing it aside as another reason to keep herself closed off from others, she shook her head.
“I'll take James with me. I know how to quieten him and that way I can feed him as soon as I get the formula.” Rae suggested “John, if you want alcohol, you better get up because we’re leaving now.” She ordered, her new goal re-energizing her. Her body throbbed but she ignored it. They needed supplies and food so she couldn’t waste time by being weak. She had to get over it. Rae shrugged off the blankets on her shoulders then pulled her jumper and coat from one of the bags and put them on. She got Jen to show her how to wrap James against her then tucked her phone into her back pocket and grabbed her gun. Nix kissed her on the cheek before she left, his face pinched as she went back outside into the snow. She walked next to John, into the town of Blanca, happy to go in silence. He didn’t think the same.
“I’m sorry about before, Rae. I didn’t mean to put the blame on you.” He tried, and she knew he was trying to be nice, but she didn’t want an apology for something that was completely warranted.
“Yes, you did. And I deserved it, so don’t worry about it.” She bit, rubbing James’ back through the blanket that was over him. John sighed harshly and looked out ahead of them. She thought he might respond but he didn’t, instead he pointed to a row of shops on one side of the street. The liquor store. And the other side had a general store which was where she needed to go.
“Let's divide and conquer. You get formula and I’ll get what I need then come back and meet you at the store.” John suggested but it sounded more like begging to Rae. She sighed and nodded. He didn’t hesitate, running off through the snow to his favourite place in the world. Rae pulled out her phone from her pocket and turned on the torch as John left with his. She held her gun out in front of her with the phone lighting her way into the store. She edged through the door, shining the light through the room. The door clicked behind her and she shuffled across the room to the aisles. She spun at every slight noise and sound, her heart racing. She tried to breath steadily, but it came out in shaky parts that proved just how scared she really was. She whispered down to a stirring James to shush then looked back up quickly at a noise ahead of her. The light didn’t shine far enough though and the sounds stopped so she tried to brush it off as paranoia. Rae moved through the store to find the formula but before she could grab them, glass shattering echoed through the store. She quickly spun to the source of the sound, her light shining on the peeling, rotting face of an unwanted guest. She didn’t hesitate and pulled the trigger; her shot went straight through the head and the zombie fell to the ground in a lifeless heap. The gunshot pierced through the silent air and attacked her eardrums, James’ too. He released a loud wail, wriggling in his wrap, his scream hitting her in the heart. He was terrified and probably in pain now. She was not doing a good job at the whole zombie-life thing. She had to remember to be quiet and yet the gun was the only weapon that she was good with and made her feel safer than the others. Either way though, she had shot the gun again and it had been loud. James was still being loud, they had to get out of there before they were surrounded. Rae grabbed the tins of formula in one arm, tucking them in and holding her gun out in front of her with her phone lighting the way from her mouth. She ran down the aisle, needing to get out of there before she couldn’t but it was too late. The doors to the store were closed but the glass of them and the windows were covered in the living dead, bashing and snarling against it. Raelynn spun around again, trying to find an exit or way out of some kind, but the only thing she found was a small office in the managers room. She ran through the store, picked up a basket and shoved as many items of food and medicine in it with the formula things, wipes and nappies before racing to the door to the office. She turned just in time to see the glass shattering underneath the force of the zombies. Rae slammed the managers door shut and shoved the desk up against it harshly. Too harshly. The vase on the top fell to the ground, breaking into pieces, one of the shards catching her shooting arm making her grunt and drop her gun to the floor.
Chapter Eleven
Rae cursed under her breath as she bent back down to pick up her gun with her now bleeding arm and a screaming James still attached to her. She hurried over to the couch and laid James down on it, ignoring the bashing on the door from the ravenous creatures on the other side and made up a bottle for James as fast as she could. She had to get him to stop him from screaming or the zomb
ies would never leave. With jagged movements and shaky breaths, she finally managed to make his bottle. She picked him up and cradled him against her, shoving the tip into his mouth, instantly placating him. He sucked and played with a strand of her hair as if nothing was wrong in his world and she envied, that to him it probably wasn’t. For her, it was the opposite and she was quickly losing hope that she would ever see a normal world again.
Her arm was stinging, still slowly dripping blood on to the grey sofa, her stomach growled, and her eyes drooped. She had no energy left. She looked down at James’s blue eyes, her own tearing up.
“I’m sorry,” She sniffled, talking to James even though she knew she wouldn't get a response “I’m sorry I’ve been ignoring you, avoiding you.” She continued “I just miss Jake.” And with the name of her own son leaving her lips, she broke down in uncontrollable sobs. She had pushed aside all her grief and guilt for too long and it was slamming her now. Suffocating her. She had been keeping it to herself, bearing it all on her shoulders and she was crumbling. Jake had been her world and she had lost him. She was just tired of fighting without him to make it worth fighting for. She wiped the tears from her eyes, trying to stop her bodies wracks of pain but instead it just smeared the blood from her arm across her face. By the time she had managed to stop her outburst, James had stopped suckling on the bottle, fast asleep in her arm. She snuggled into him and sighed. Her heart was warming to the chubby little dude and his sister, despite the pain that accompanied that fact. She would do anything to keep them safe now just as she tried to do with Jake. Rae remembered her son, his blue eyes, his dimples, his giggle, the way he knew when it was lunchtime and called for her. Everything. Her mind flooded with images, tears pouring from her eyes, but her heart was healing with each memory. She would never fully get over what had happened, she knew that but as she held James in her arm, she knew that there was enough room in her heart for more, something she hadn’t considered before.
With a lightened heart, Rae placed James asleep on the couch so she could stand and remove her jumper, but when she did, her vision blurred, and her head swirled. She steadied herself on the arm of the couch, blowing out a steady breath to centre herself. Raelynn made a cocoon with the jumper and put it on the floor, then grabbed James off the couch. The couch was not the grey she remembered though; it was covered with her blood. She hadn’t realised that she had lost that much, she had been so busy thinking about Jake. She didn’t even have that much to begin with because of the transfusion. Her body swayed again so she quickly placed James in the middle of her jumper right before her vision started fraying at the edges and going black. The banging and thumping were still going against the door and even though it looked like it would hold, she hadn’t wanted to risk going to sleep with just her and James there, but it looked like she was going to have no choice. Her eyelids drooped heavily, as her body slowly laid to the ground as if gravity was suddenly a thousand times heavier, she just couldn’t hold herself up. She lost herself to the consciousness, staring at James’s peaceful face, her last thought wondering whether John was going to make if before or after the zombies broke through.
***
Nix was getting nervous, his stomach turning over and over inside of him. He sat cuddling with an exhausted Everlynn on the bed in the RV and he couldn’t let go of the worry that gripped him. They should have heard something by now. He had already annoyed the hell out of Jen, who was trying to check the engine of the RV so they wouldn’t get any surprises later. After getting nothing from her, he’d gone to annoy Kenji, to see if he had heard anything but he had been busy taking pictures of the picturesque view of dead bodies and trashed buildings around them with his fancy camera. Just as Nix was at his limit of patience for the day, which was pretty short to begin with, Jen finished and came into the RV, sitting on the bed across from them.
“Can you lay with Everlynn for a moment for me please?” Nix asked her quietly and she replied with nothing but a nod as usual. Jen took his place holding Everlynn while Nix went outside with the binoculars for the third time. He looked into the distance to see if he could see them coming back yet but there was nothing. He just knew something was wrong, his instincts were confirmed when a loud gunshot rang through the otherwise quiet streets of the town. Nix’s stomach churned again, his brow furrowing as he rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t do the whole hero thing. He never had and his whole life he had been content to let other, more buff, more brave guys save the day and get the girl, he had been fine with it, until now. Now he wanted to run to Rae and rescue her stubborn ass. Then kiss her soft, full lips until she was convinced not to leave his side again, hold her until she felt like she belonged there, stare into her mesmerizing blue eyes until he couldn’t see anything else and run his fingers through her soft brown hair that always smelled like flowers. He squeezed his eyes shut, clenching his fists against the side of the RV. He just wanted her back and safe with him. But something was wrong, he knew it with every bone inside of him, he also knew that his chances of survival when it came to zombies were so much less than hers. He was terrified of the damn things, just as terrified as he was of losing Rae to them. He struggled with the decision of what to do, his mind staggering with each option. If he stayed and she was in trouble, or worse, didn’t come back then he would never forgive himself but if he went and got killed, she would never forgive herself. He was completely torn. He rubbed his hands over his face, trying to make his decision when his mind took him back to a memory of him and Raelynn when they were younger.
“You can do it!” Raelynn shouted to Nix as he looked up the rock face. He couldn't climb that high, even with the ropes. Ever. He had been dreading the abseiling portion of camp for the entire trip. Rae of course had already done it with no problem, and he had to look like the wuss who didn’t even want to try it. He rubbed his sweaty palms against his shorts as she continued to cheer him on, unphased by his wimp status.
“Nix just do it. If you fall, I’ll catch you, but you won't fall far because your harnessed in. I promise I’ll be here.” She promised with an encouraging smile. Damn, she could have gotten anything she wanted with that smile; he had no power against it. He had sighed in defeat and let himself be strapped into the harness, climbing to the top with shaky legs, tense bones and wide eyes. But he had done it, thanks to her.
Nix blinked tears as he remembered how many times, she had been there for him. Been his loyal defender all through high school.
“Leave him alone!” Raelynn shouted.
They were back at high school. Nix was back to being one of the kids that was not popular with the football team and Raelynn was the outspoken defender of the underdogs. She had his back and she proved it again as he was bullied yet again and she got between him and the bully, not concerned for herself, only his honour. She was a whole head shorter than the guy in front of her and she was tiny compared to him, but she hadn’t cared.
“Don't mess with Nix anymore! Go away Dylan!” she screamed.
Nix unclenched his eyes, was he really trying to decide whether to do the same for her? Dick move, Nix. He shouldn’t even have to decide, he knew which outcome he could live with already, and it wasn’t the one without her.
I'll find you Rae.
He rushed over to where the weapons were in the RV, taking a bat.
“I’m going to find Rae.” He said quickly as he ran past Kenji. Kenji scoffed.
“You’re an idiot, dude.” Kenji called after him as Nix took off through the town.
Nix looked back “I know, look after Evie please.” He called then turned his attention back to where he was going. He raced through the streets, sticking as close to the edges as possible so he could have time to react to any surprise zombie attacks but it was deserted. He had expected more but something was off with these zombies compared to the movies he had watched. There weren’t as many loitering around and even though the general rule usually meant, their bite sho
uld turn others, it was becoming more likely that they actually had to ingest the man-made drug to turn, the other side of that being that they still seemed just as interested in making humans chomper chow. He didn’t want to put his own skinny ass on the menu. He picked up his pace at the thought, looking for a liquor store or shopping centre, completely winging it since he had no idea what direction they went in, just knowing that he couldn’t give up until he found Rae. She wasn’t who he found though. Instead he saw the shadow of a man outside a liquor store up ahead. Of course, John was there, but where was Rae?
***
John drunk his whiskey with a contented sigh as he leaned against the counter inside the liquor store. The sun was slowly rising over the horizon, shining its orange rays through the bottom of the windows, but he didn’t care. Night or day didn’t matter to him, only the bottle in his hand and the mind-numbing liquid inside. The smooth burn down his throat had him savouring every bite of the booze on his taste buds. Soon it would work, it would smother the pain that oozed from his heart like lava from a volcano and suffocate the tormenting flashbacks that broke his soul with every memory. By the end of the bottle, he wouldn’t even remember his ex-wife’s name. He would be able to pretend that his kids actually wanted to talk to him, that they cared about him. John swallowed back his tears with another large swig of whiskey. He wasn’t far enough down the bottle for a trip down memory lane. He had no family, not anymore. He skulled more alcohol then looked down at the tan line on his left ring finger. She could be dead for all he knew, same with his daughters but there was no way he could know. She had made sure he would never be in contact with them again, but it served him right. It was his fault, he had pushed them away, he should have just- John was snapped from his usual whiskey ritual of making himself feel like shit until he couldn’t form coherent thoughts, as a loud shot rung passed him.
Survival Instincts (Book 1): Sacrifice Page 13