Bad Things

by Jasper Tripp

  Stella also knows that she needs to get back to the house and get ready. Ready for what, she's not entirely sure. Any number of things could happen very quickly. Good or bad. Right or wrong. When dealing with this family, anything is possible.

  Stella can see the Caddy up ahead framed perfectly under the moonlight. As if the universe has parked it there for them. Shining black paint spread across its perfect lines, all forged by American steel. Walter loves Cadillacs. Often, he’s talked about having an old-school Eldorado. Roll in the slickest machine they’ve got, he said once in a moment of happy daydreaming. Rare thought for a man like Walter. He'd never allow himself that kind of indulgence. A purchase like that, an impractical vehicle, does not help the family. Doesn't add anything to the survival equation when it all comes crashing down. Too frivolous.

  “Twins,” Stella calls out. “Stop. Now.”

  The twins zigzag, running with no real purpose or direction. Burning hot on endless maniac fuel. Her target, the Caddy, is getting closer. There's no time to spare. No time to deal with the twins’ madness. Not now. She needs to reel them in and jack that damn car. She has a fail-safe. Something she and Walter came up with after careful consideration. Never had to use it before, but that time might be now.

  She pulls a small device from her pocket. Looks like a tiny garage door opener. There’s a cartoon-like sticker on the front of it. It’s a sticker of a red traffic light with fat legs and a goofy smile. Her thumb rubs the button just above the sticker.

  "Twins!" Gives them one last chance, even though she knows it's a lost cause. "Not going to repeat it."

  The twins run faster. They pass the Caddy.

  Stella shakes her head ever so slightly and bites the inside of her cheek, hating herself for enjoying this, even a little bit. She sucks in a deep breath. Pushes the button.

  The twins stop like a leash was yanked, backs arched straight up. Like their feet have been stabbed directly into the street by God. They jolt, twitch, then drop to the road like fish landing into a boat. Stella grabs them by their shirt collars, dragging them flopping toward their new slick, black ride.

  Stella giggles. “Tonight, baby, you’re going to have yourself that Caddy.”

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  The Cougar hurtles downhill like a wrecking ball cut loose from hell.

  Dibs white-knuckles the steering wheel. Elbows locked in a feeble attempt to control his world. In the rearview, he can see Walter's legs wobble as he fights to stand on the small platform below the Big Hog. His head pokes up level with the Hog's sights. Dibs turns his attention to Kate and Mara. They both bounce up and down, catching some hangtime in midair. Landing, they brace themselves as the Cougar takes on every imperfection in the land at increasingly high speed.

  The crazy, it’s in the air. The crazy is palpable. The insanity of the fight is intoxicating. Reminds Dibs of the seconds before the battle ram smashes a door in. The rush before the bust. Dibs screams as loud as he can. Kate, Mara and Walter look to one another. Smiles spread and they all join in. A red-faced war cry from what remains of the Stagstone Seven.

  The Cougar blasts through the lawn furniture. Crunches garden gnomes. An inflatable sex doll is sent floating away into the starry night, a naked, openmouthed balloon drifting off into space.

  Out the windshield, they can see the aliens’ bonfire raging just beyond the trees up ahead. It's going to be tight as hell, but there's a small gap to the right amongst the trees. Dibs is relatively sure he can squeeze-shoot through the tight space. They want to get the Cougar as close as they can to the fenced-in camp. Less time exposed on the ground the better, Walter said. Dibs agreed. Thinks it’s funny that wartime and NYPD street tactics are so similar at times.

  "Oh my God," Kate says. It's the first time she's seen the people caged inside in the fence. "They're terrified. The kids." She covers her mouth.

  Mara grows even more excited. She can taste killing these things. Her fingers tickle her guns.

  “Should I Big Hog the alien vermin?” Walter asks.

  “Hold on,” Dibs says. “Gonna thread the needle with this big bitch.”

  Hard to measure at this speed, but Dibs sees things are going to be tighter than he initially thought. Might have an inch to work with on either side of the trees and the sides of the hulking Cougar. The trees are thick and solid on each side, but the one on the left looks to have a little more give than the other. That’s the one Dibs aims for. The tree explodes as the Cougar's bumper plows into woods.

  “Well, shit,” Dibs spits. He bites his lower lip while strong-arming the wheel like a ship captain sailing the most violent of storms. Tree limbs whip and thwap the steel sides of the Cougar. Lumber crunches. Dibs stomps down on the brakes with all he has. The tires struggle to find firm ground, churning loose dirt up into the night, plowing earth in every direction.

  The captive prisoners of Stagstone all turn. Some grip the fence. Some hold each other tight. All hold their breath with a flash of hope in their eyes.

  The Cougar shudders, skids, slides, then stops hard, slamming into the thickest tree in the Stagstone jungle. They jolt hard inside the cabin. Through the driver's side window Dibs sees a group of King's Cult of Crazy outside the fence. All with slick, grey skins. All with thick, red streaks in their eyes. They've taken notice as well.

  “No time to play grab-ass,” Dibs calls out, pushing out through the door. “Got Grey Ones out there.” Dibs likes the sound of Grey Ones too.

  Kate and Mara dive out.

  "Got one lined up," Walter screams.

  “Kill it. Kill it now,” Dibs yells as he puts a bullet into the red-lined eye of the grumpy guy who works the deli counter at the grocery.

  Walter obeys. The Big Hog finally gets to eat. The up top Cougar cannon belches fire and smoke. Its boom tests the limits of eardrums and rattles every tooth in their heads. A newly converted alien, a Grey One, explodes into a spray that resembles ground pepper. There one moment, and the next, turned to a coarse powder.

  Everything stops. The Big Hog has every living thing’s attention. The Grey Ones stop. The people inside the fence cheer. Mara and Kate cut down two dumbstruck Grey Ones, tagging them with pops of shots left and right until they drop to the dirt.

  Dibs scans the area as he reaches the gate of the fence. Something is off, he thinks. “Where are the wives?” he calls out to Kate and Mara. “Where’s King?”

  “Don’t see them.” Mara sticks her Glock into the mouth of a Grey One. Grins as she pulls the trigger, twice for good measure.

  Kate pushes open the fence. Immediately begins helping everyone out as fast as they can. Dibs and Mara give cover to the fleeing townspeople, blasting and dropping the spattering of Grey Ones that run out from the woods. Dibs and Mara take note that they seem to be coming from a small path that leads deeper into the trees.

  “Can you see back there?” Dibs yell-asks.

  Mara shakes her head while blasting.

  “Run!” Kate calls out while directing people out from the fence and toward the meth land. “Keep running until you can’t anymore.”

  Dibs and Kate take down the final Grey One as the last citizen of Stagstone comes out of the fence and runs hard toward the open land. Kate, Dibs and Mara turn, searching the woods. Scanning. Nothing. Only the sounds of feet crunching the ground as the people of Stagstone bolt to freedom.

  There’s a strange feel to the woods. An unsettling quiet. The trees sway in the night air. The bonfire crackles.

  “Well, shit,” Dibs says. “That was easy.”

  There’s a rumble. The ground thumps and shakes. A small, rolling earthquake grows from the trees. The sound of childlike giggling can barely be heard. Metallic crunches. Then a bloodcurdling scream shrieks out from the dark. Sounds and feels like a stampede is headed their way, charging at them fast and strong.

  “Well, shit.” Dibs stabs his finger toward the Cougar. “Go. Go. Go!”

  Waves of Grey Ones stream out from the woods. Mos
t of them are dressed in military uniforms from the USAF station. All with red-streaked eyes. All pissed off, and all ready to do damage.

  “Walter!” Dibs wails while running like hell. “Put some fire on their ass.”

  The Big Hog turns slightly then opens up, pounding the trees behind the racing Dibs, Kate and Mara. Grey Ones fly in every direction. Some get cut in half. Others are blown into chunky parts that scatter across the land. Regardless of Walter’s Big Hog firestorm, they keep coming.

  Dibs charges hard toward to the Cougar. Mara and Kate run past him as if he’s standing still. Kate grabs him by the arm and pulls him along. As she does, she looks back and sees the numbers coming at them.

  “We gotta go,” she tells him. “Now.”

  Dibs looks back. The wives have joined the fight, mixed among the Grey Ones like towering giants, and they are moving much faster than the rest. Behind them all is a single figure. A man in a dark suit strolling at his own pace.

  “That’s King?” Dibs runs alongside Kate. “In the back?”

  "What?" Kate steals a look and both of them slam hard into the side of the Cougar. The air leaves their bodies as their ribs crunch against the steel. She throws open the driver's door and shoves Dibs in. "Yeah, that's him." She runs around front toward the passenger side. The horde is almost on them. Kate dives into the Cougar. "Walter!"

  “Guys.” Mara’s eyes are wide, staring behind them. “We need to get gone.”

  "Walter," Kate says again. "You see that asshole in the back?"

  "No," Walter says.

  "Guys." Mara sees that the horde is only about ten yards away from making impact with the Cougar. "Really need to leave."

  “Oh wait,” Walter says, “that guy in the suit? Funny, haven’t seen him around town—”

  “Walter!” Kate yells. “Blast that motherfucker!”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  Walter sights King. Gets ready to fire.

  The wave of Grey Ones crashes into the Cougar. Walter's blast is sent wide right. The trees next to King explode. You can almost hear King laugh. The Grey Ones jump and crawl onto the hood. They claw at the doors and windows. The inside of the Cougar shakes and rattles as the Grey Ones fight to find a way inside. Like rats clawing to find food.

  Dibs starts up the Cougar.

  Carol lands on the hood with a thud. She’s full-on King’s Cult of Crazy now. Grey skin. Pulpy red-lined eyes. Her face is pressed against the windshield’s glass, staring right at Dibs with her arms spread wide across the hood. She bounces her eyebrows at Dibs. Dibs shoots her the finger then slams down the gas. The Cougar lurches forward, moving up then down as Grey One bones crunch under its massive tires. Dibs cuts the wheel hard, turning around. The wives stand back, watching. Studying. Blue flames burn along their blades.

  Kate watches the wives as they watch them. “The wives,” she says. “They’re pulling back.”

  The Cougar turns hard. Dibs gets the vehicle pointed toward the spot that leads out from the woods. His focus is on Carol. Carol’s focus is on Dibs. Their eyes fire daggers between them. Their hate-stares burn hot.

  Kate sees the wives raise their burning blue blades high above their heads. “Something is up,” she says.

  The remaining Grey Ones jump off and peel away from the Cougar. Carol’s head whips toward the wives. Her eyes close. It’s like she’s receiving a message. She nods, then open her eyes, looking directly at Dibs. She slashes her finger across her throat with a shit-eating grin, then leaps from the hood as the Cougar crosses into meth land. Carol's chubby frame stops, drops and rolls. She pops up next to a row of her fellow Grey Ones, next to the wives. The pulpy red lines in their eyes seem to pulse in the night.

  The Cougar tears through the Christiansen brothers’ meth land, bouncing and gyrating, taking on the holes and bumps like the war machine it is while racing away from the woods and the alien horde with all it has.

  "We did it," Dibs says, almost surprised. "We saved people from aliens. You believe that shit? We actually saved the town from goddamn aliens. That's hero-level shit."

  "Pretty cool," Walter says. His words are muffled from standing up top.

  “Ummm.” Kate opens the window and sticks her head out, wanting to get a better view behind them.

  “What the hell are you doing?” Dibs asks.

  Behind them along the tree line, the Grey Ones stand in a long row, one by one, about a half a foot apart from one another. Similar to a Civil War battle formation. The middle of the line of Grey Ones separates. A gap is made for someone important. Out step the three wives, holding their blue-flamed blades high above their heads. Then a pause, with everyone perfectly still.

  King strolls out from the trees with his hands in his pockets as if he were out on an evening stroll. He takes his place between the wives.

  Kate hangs on for dear life, fighting to watch all this as the Cougar takes the rough land. Mara holds on to Kate’s legs as tight as she can. There's a strange calm to the meth land. An odd stillness to the night. Kate can barely make out King as they speed farther away. Despite this, she sees him cock his head birdlike, then wave goodbye as he stands watching the Cougar.

  “Walter!” Kate slaps her palm on the roof over and over. “Turn that Big Hog around.”

  “What?” Walter calls out.

  King removes his hand from his pocket and points toward the Cougar. The wives lower their burning blue blades.

  “Ooooh shit.” Kate slides down into the passenger seat. “They’re not done with us,” she calls back to Walter. “Really need you to turn that gun around. Kill them all, please.”

  Dibs checks his rearview mirror. The line of Grey Ones is stampeding toward them like a dark army from hell. They appear to be gaining ground. Fast. Damn fast.

  “Ahhhh so you know…” Dibs says, noticing their speed. “Psychopathic cheetah seems to be part of their charm.”

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Walter’s cannon blast sails high, missing its target as the Cougar tears up the hill.

  “Darn it,” Walter yelps.

  The Cougar plows through the gates of meth land onto the dirt road that leads into town. Walter pokes his head down. “I can’t get a decent shot. All this bouncing and gyrating’s causing some problems.”

  "Deeply apologize, Walter," Dibs barks. "This is a fluid situation, ya know? Would you prefer I parked this baby back there?"

  "Yes,” Walter says. "Prefer a square fight."

  Dibs rolls his eyes.

  From inside the vehicle, they can hear the rumble coming from outside. The rapid pounding of feet that is only about fifty yards behind them. King's startup army is gaining on them by the second.

  "We've gotta lead them somewhere," Dibs says. "We can't outrun them."

  "Away from town," Kate says.

  "Away from the good people of Stagstone," Walter says.

  “Thanks for that, Walter,” Dibs says.

  "And execute every last one of those grey dickheads," Mara says.

  Dibs and Kate share a look. They decide to let that one go. Not that they disagree with Mara's intention, it's just that she said it as if it were a party she was excited to attend. A tone that was, quite frankly, a little scary.

  “Look.” Mara points up ahead through the windshield, bouncing with glee.

  A black Cadillac stopped in the middle of the road is jolting violently up and down and back and forth. Through the back window, it looks like two wild animals are bouncing off every part of the car. A butt plants on the rear window. A foot appears out the passenger window, then gets yanked back in. Stella pokes her head out.

  “Stella,” Walter cries out. “Stop the vehicle.”

  “Are you crazy?” Dibs says, checking his mirror. “They’re almost on top of us.”

  "Stop this vehicle now," Walter says harder. His voice sounds like he found another place inside of him. One that's in the not fucking around business.

  “This is so stupid.” Dibs takes a deep breath,
then shrugs. “You got twenty seconds tops.”

  Dibs slams on the brakes skidding to a stop. Mara, Kate and Walter pour out from the Cougar.

  Kate pulls two Glocks, holding them out toward the street behind them, ready for the onslaught she knows is coming. “Hurry the hell up,” she calls out.

  Walter throws open the Caddy’s door. He’s met with a kick to the nuts and the barrel of a shotgun in his mouth.

  “Honey!” Stella screams out. She lowers her gun and wraps her arms around his neck. “Do you like the car?”

  "I love it." Walter tries not to sob from the nut strike. "I love you."

  The twins fly out from the Caddy and attack their sister.

  "Not the time," Mara says. "Whacko dicks."

  The sound of the stampede rumbles behind them.

  “Let’s go,” Kate says.

  Walter finds his breath and holds Stella’s face in his hands. “Get to the house,” Walter tells Stella through watering eyes. “Go now. We need to lead these monsters there. You take the twins and get the place nice and ready.”

  “To save the town?” she says as a tear drops.

  “To save the town.”

  King’s Cult of Crazy is closer. Kate can make out shadows dancing under the moonlight. “Today,” she calls out.

  "The last stand?" Stella says to Walter.

  Walter nods.

  “Our private Alamo,” they say in unison.

  "Now!" Kate calls out. She regrips her Glocks. They've got only a few seconds before they are going to be overrun with all kinds of nastiness.

  Stella grabs the twins by the hair, pulling them into the Caddy. The Caddy’s tires wail as she steps on it, peeling off down the street. Mara and Walter run back toward the Cougar. They stop cold. The aliens pour in, filling the entire road. A never before seen alien version of the running of the bulls, and it is rumbling their way. Blue flames can be seen at the back of the pack.

  Dibs sticks his head out the window. “Move your asses.”

  Walter puts an arm around Mara, pushing her toward the Cougar in front of him. They pile in through the doors. Kate jumps into the passenger seat as Dibs stomps the gas.