"So, my dear, tell us about yourself." Feodora turned toward Agripina, reaching out the olive branch of friendship again.
"Well, I'm an only child. My dad is…was…a professor at the university. He taught literature before the Bolsheviks removed him from his position. And my mother is a poet. We live down in the university sector."
"Oh, it's absolutely beautiful down there!" Feodora gushed, going on and on about the intricately painted white-trimmed buildings that made up the famous university grounds.
Agripina agreed with a nod. "It is beautiful. Although not as beautiful as it was a few weeks ago. Did you know that they hid Peter I's bronze horseman in a sandbox? Just took him off of his pedestal and buried him.”
"And they just up and took every painting out of the Hermitage and shipped it to Siberia," a voice across the trench chimed in.
"They did? The papers say everything is going so well.” Tanya frowned. "Why would they go to such great lengths if the Nazis are just turning around and running for the border?"
"Because the Nazis aren't turning around and running for the border." Agripina grimaced, as if her words smelled as bad as the bags of rotting garbage that lined the road.
Tanya blew out a deep breath as tears gathered in the corners of her eyes. Could the papers be wrong?
"I'm sorry, Tanya." Agripina offered a faint smile. "I didn't mean to upset you. I sometimes let my emotions run away from me.
"It's OK."
"Tanya's just sensitive because she has a baby girl at home."
"Oh, I love babies." Agripina's eyes brightened. "Tell me about her."
"Well, she's six months old and has sandy-blonde hair and blue eyes just like her daddy."
"Your husband?" Agripina interrupted.
"My late husband. He died last summer."
"Oh, I'm so sorry."
Choking down a sob, Tanya continued. "Her name is Vera, but we call her Verushka. She has tiny dimples that make her eyes sparkle every time she smiles. And one crooked tooth right up top and center."
"She's about the cutest thing ever,” Feodora added. "You should come meet her sometime."
"I'd love that. I've always loved babies, and I rarely spend time with them. My parents were both only children, so I don't have any siblings or cousins."
Tanya swallowed a lump in her throat, feeling bad that she had so quickly judged Agripina as spoiled and selfish. She seemed nice enough. "Well you can come play with Verushka any time."
Agripina smiled as her gaze floated off into the distance.
Tanya suppressed an urge to run straight home, grab her daughter, and escape this city. This place where nothing made sense and everything seemed on the verge of death.
40
On a train toward Luga, Soviet Union
Now they had really done it. And Tanya blamed Feodora entirely.
OK, so it wasn't all her fault, but at this moment in time, she needed someone to be angry with. And she couldn't let the blame fall on her shoulders, not when she had been the one to hesitate this whole trip. She knew it was good for them—they desperately needed the food—but she couldn't bear to be apart from Verushka.
But Feodora had prevailed on her. They needed this. They needed to help. For cause and country.For Leningrad.
Oh, and for the free food.
It was all over once Vera had gotten wind of their dilemma. And in true Vera form, she had convinced Tanya that maybe the Women's Volunteer Corps was an answer to prayer. It gave them financial relief and provided them with an opportunity to help in a tangible way. Plus, she would take impeccable care of the baby while they went, which meant all of them would be contributing to the war effort.
How could she say no to that?
Tanya had relented and they had signed up.
As soon as they’d signed up, Feodora had started on Agripina.
She had walked three miles into the university quarter and straight into Agripina's fancy house and told her that it was an adventure that they all needed to be a part of. A few more lines about sisterhood, and suddenly Agripina was on board too. High-heeled boots and all.
And now here they were, the three of them, stuck on a speeding train to hell, or so it seemed.
Tanya shuddered as she dared to peek out of the tiny train windows. Bombs exploded in open fields, dropped by Nazi bombers that dotted the sky like millions of geese flying south for winter. Tanya tucked her head down and scrunched closer to the floor, shivering at the destruction that was inflicted outside.
From the sound of it, the bombing was bad and getting worse.
Tanya willed her heart to stop beating into her throat and wished once again that she still believed in God. If there was a time to pray, this was it.
Feodora was crouched next to her on the train car's floor, a flask of vodka in her shaking hand.
"What do we do now?" Tanya whispered.
"We take a swig for our nerves and hope for the best!"
"No. We pray." Agripina glared at them from underneath her seat and reached across the aisle to grip Tanya's hands. "I don't know about you ladies, but I feel as if we need some divine intervention right now."
Feodora tucked her flask in her pocket and bowed her head, looking to Agripina for instructions. "Can't hurt."
Tanya was fighting a losing battle. "You two go ahead. I'll just lie here."
Agripina ignored Tanya and began to pray.
Tanya lifted her head to whisper to another woman crouched under the seat in front of her. "How much farther to Luga?"
"It's a two-hour trip. We left Leningrad more than an hour ago. I'd say we are at least halfway there."
"So, another full hour to hope we don't get hit by a stray bomb."
"This is nothing," a voice from across the aisle whispered to them. "I heard that last week, the Nazis were strafing the train that carried one of the other Volunteer Corps out to Luga."
"What's strafing?" Feodora popped her head above the seat.
"It's when their planes fly low to the ground and drop bombs from about ten meters away."
Stifling an involuntary moan, Tanya closed her eyes, trying to block out the entire situation. Was she really here? On a train headed to the front while Nazi bombers did everything they could to stop it from reaching its destination?
She pinched her arm, praying she'd wake up from the nightmare. But no relief came. So she hunkered down, covered her head with her hands, and allowed the rumble of the train to lull her into a state of numbness, her heart yearning to plead with the God of her childhood that she would live to see her daughter again.
All while her head reminded her again and again that she didn't believe anymore.
41
Luga, Russia
Luga smelled like a farm. Like chickens and cows and goats—a scent that would forever remind Tanya of the pure sense of relief she felt stepping off of that train and onto solid ground again. If she never stepped on a train again for the rest of her life, it would be too soon.
Feodora, Agripina, and Tanya searched for Lieutenant Pudovkin from the corner of the train station. Had he requested the position to lead their corps or had his request something to do with her? At this point, she didn't care. After the train ride, it was comforting just knowing him.
"Good afternoon, ladies. That was quite a ride." The lieutenant sighed heavily in a clear attempt to lighten the mood. "Let's hope things quiet down now that we're here." He pointed down the road and to the north. “You’re now a part of the People's Volunteers. We’re building a one-hundred-mile defense line along the Velikaya River. Your job is to lend a hand with the digging and hauling.”
"Hey, at least we have experience with that," Feodora whispered in Tanya's ear.
Did the girl have nerves of steel? How could she be calm at a moment like this?
Tanya swallowed hard, turned toward the supply cart, and hefted out shovels and pickaxes. She had no choice but to start working.
She took two steps before the sound of an
other incoming train drowned out her thoughts. Turning, she watched as the train screeched to a halt. Dozens of Red Army soldiers leapt off and hurried into formation.
"Who are they?" Tanya managed to say.
"Not sure." Feodora looked at the soldiers and seemed confused. They had heard that most of the Red Army soldiers were fighting at the front and would fall back to the Luga line only when necessary.
"Hey! Lieutenant Pudovkin?" Feodora pointed at the soldiers. "Why are they here?"
"Those are fresh reinforcements from the Finn border in Karelia. The Generals think that the Finns won't invade, so all of our manpower up there is being moved down to reinforce Luga."
Tanya took some comfort in the fact the Red Army was reassigning troops from Karelia to protect them.
She turned back to the dirt road in front of her and trudged on, trying to ignore the sound of soldiers as they readied themselves for war. Five minutes later, they reached their work point and the three women began to dig, removing piles of soil from the trench and moving them to the large piles that stood on the banks of the river to keep tanks from driving up the banks. Within a few hours, their lines towered ten feet above the ground.
Tanya couldn't imagine any army ever breaking through this. The line was just too strong—the piles too high.
The thousands of civilians working to build this line had to outnumber the enemy twelve to one.
Which was a relief because the Luga line was the only barrier standing between her sweet baby daughter and the Nazi 4th Panzers.
Suddenly feeling quite confident, Tanya began to hum a tune as she worked, smiling tentatively at Feodora, who joined in. Around them, more and more ladies joined the music, and before long hundreds of women proudly sang Russian folk songs as they dug the defense lines centimeter after centimeter, meter after meter, kilometer after kilometer.
Maybe Feodora's idea to join the Volunteer Corps wasn't such a bad one after all.
~*~
Air raid sirens pierced the air.
Tanya looked around in confusion, trying to make sense of the noise.
"Take cover!" Agripina raced toward them and grabbed Tanya's arms as she spun toward the trench they were in the middle of building.
Stunned into action, Tanya leapt into the trench and ducked her head, just as they had practiced while working in Leningrad. At the time, she’d hoped the air raid drill was only precautionary and the Nazis wouldn't dare bomb an unarmed civilian corps.
But the train.
No, the Nazis would stop at nothing to reach their objectives. Even killing innocent civilians.Women.Mothers.
Tanya flinched as the sputter of anti-aircraft fire echoed through the trench, signaling that the air raid sirens weren't just a drill. Nazi bombers were coming. She crouched down tighter and stole a glance at Feodora and Agripina, their faces stricken and mud-streaked.
She reached out and took one of each of their hands in hers. Gripping them tightly, she pulled them close to her body. If she died, she wanted to do it clinging to someone she loved. Agripina peered above her folded arms, gave her a hesitant smile, and then curled in, shoving her trembling body as close to the still-unreinforced walls of the trench as she could. Three loud booms shook dirt clods loose above them, raining down a waterfall of dirt and pebbles.
But no one dared move. Not when the growl of Nazi bombers were so close.
Two minutes later, the air raid sirens stopped.
It took them several minutes before they crept from their prone positions, brushing themselves off and looking around the trench to make sure everyone was accounted for.
They were.
Then the tears came. Tears of relief flooded down Tanya’s cheeks as her heart rate skittered to normal.
"Help! Someone help! I've been hit!"
Tanya's heart rate hammered back into her throat as screams came from above them and to the west.
Feodora scaled the trench, not stopping to assess her own safety, and ran toward the cries.
Tanya stood frozen in place. She looked at Agripina who seemed to be facing a similar internal battle to her own. It was so dangerous to leave the safety of the trench right now. But did they have a choice but to go help?
Their hesitation swept them into a cloud of others who also weren't sure what to do. By the time they scaled the trench walls, hundreds of soldiers and volunteers ran around in chaos, trying to assess the damage. To the south, a bomb had fallen, exploding one of the gun emplacements that a team of university students had been building. Shrapnel had flown into a half-finished trench where a women's corps hunkered down, spraying the poor women with a needle-sharp shower of burning metal and fragmented wood.
“Tanya! Agripina! Come help me!” Feodora screamed and waved her hands over her head.
They ran to her, where she kneeled by a woman on the ground. "Are you all right?"
Feodora leaned close to the injured woman and stroked her face before pulling up her shirt. Several pieces of shrapnel were embedded in her left hip and lower back.
A wave of dizziness caused Tanya's entire body to sway. "We have to get her medical help. Fast!"
"Medic! Over here," Feodora shouted.
No one came.
"Here, let's load her onto this piece of tarp." Feodora grabbed a folded piece of gray canvas that sat next to the construction supplies. "We’ll carry her over to the medical tent ourselves."
Agripina and Tanya stood staring. Shocked.
"Girls! We need to help her. Come help me," Feodora snapped at them. She grabbed the tarp and leaned close to the woman's glazed eyes. "Now, you just relax. We'll have you fixed up in no time."
Tanya took a deep breath and resolved to stay strong. She grabbed the woman's left arm and lifted her onto the tarp, careful to keep her on her right side so that they wouldn't bump her injured flank.
With a moan, the woman settled into their makeshift stretcher.
"You're doing great. Just great," Tanya whispered into her ear, hoping to keep her calm.
Hoisting the tarp, Tanya and Agripina took the ends, while Feodora held the injured woman's hand, stroking it as the three of them made their way to help. When they arrived at the tent, Feodora shouted, "We have someone."
"Set her down there," the nurse pointed to a cot near the entry. "I'll get to her in a second."
"But she needs your help."
"So do all of these. I'll get to her."
Tanya grasped Feodora's shoulders and pulled her outside. They had taken her to the hospital tent. It would have to be enough.
"Come on. Let's go see who else needs our help." Feodora grabbed them by the hands and led them past the tent flap.
"I'm not sure I can," Tanya whispered, the events of the last hour filling her with a sense of dread she couldn't shake.
"We have no choice."
"She's right, Tanya. We have no choice. Without us they have no hope."
Tanya straightened her spine and marched forward, resolute to bring hope to those who needed it most. Because if anyone knew what it was like to be hopeless, it was her. For the first time since Nic's death, she had a thread of a future that just might blossom into the hope that had eluded her for so long.
And it felt strange that hope was blossoming right when she was at risk to lose everything.
42
On the Karelian border, Finland
The pounding of boot steps reverberated through the night. Matti closed his eyes, trying to calm his pounding heart. Taking one hand off of his rifle, he flexed and then relaxed each of his fingers, doing whatever he could to keep his body and his mind relaxed.
He paused for a second, calculating his bearings to make sure he stayed in his assigned position behind Käärme and to the left of Takala as they jogged two-by-two toward the Russian border. Matti squinted and surveyed the path in the dim light of a Karelian white night.
Towering birch trees surrounded them, the whites of the trunks glowing in the midnight sun, casting dark shadows across t
heir path. In front and behind their company, dozens of other companies ran in similar formation, creating a giant snake of camouflaged men weaving their way through the eerily quiet forest.
After halting at their pre-determined stopping point, Takala gathered the men into a tight huddle for a quick pep talk a if they were getting ready to compete in a high school skiing tournament not going to war.
"How are we doing?" Matti whispered.
"Fine." Even if they weren't ready, they hardly had a choice.
"This is our day, our time to take back what's ours. Let's stick together and run for our objective. I'll see you on the other side of the border!"
Two minutes later, the men headed out again, this time crawling on their bellies through heavily vegetated birch forest, rifles slung across their backs, supplies strapped to their stomachs.
As he inched his way forward, Matti prayed silently, willing his breath to come in short, even bursts that wouldn't be detected by a hidden enemy. Lord, protect me. Protect my men. Help us to take back Karelia easily and without major casualties. Protect us, Lord. Only you can protect us. He kept a careful eye on the moving boots in front of him, his heart keeping careful rhythm with the thumping of knees and elbows on the hard ground as they crossed the border.
A crack of rifle fire boomed in the distance.
Matti froze and ducked his head for half a second before continuing forward.
Several more cracks reverberated through the air, several hundred feet to their left, but around them, all remained quiet.
Ten minutes later, Takala leapt into a remaining trench from the winter war.
The rest of the company followed.
"We're here," he whispered.
"We're in Karelia?"
"Yes. We’ll rest here for a bit before heading on to our target."
Matti set up his rifle on the lip of the trench and hunkered down, using his sight to survey the countryside for any enemy combatants. The countryside was silent. Had they really just invaded Karelia? The Winter War had been brutal…but this? This was a walk in the park.
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