Tempt Me: Tattoos and Temptation Book 5

by Mia Monroe

“Felix, if you don’t want to answer me, it’s fine. I just figured you’d be good to ask. I trust you.”

  And now my heart is as warm as my crotch. “Of course, I want to answer you.”

  Apollo smiles, fixing his smoldering eyes on me.

  “I think the worst place to meet a potential partner is on an app. You may get lucky, but for the most part, they are there for sex.”

  “I noticed. I’m not ready for that yet. I mean, I could be, but I don’t want things to start there. Does that make sense?”

  “Of course. My plan to find romance is to go places where gay men hang out. Clubs, hobby groups. Those kinds of things.”

  “Yeah. Okay. When I dated women, I was definitely more into the hookup. After things went down with Rachel, I just wanted to move on.”

  “Understandable.”

  “But with a guy, I want to do things like I’m doing now. Dinner, talking, learning about each other. It’s not like I’m scared of sex. In fact, I’m really interested in getting to that point with someone.”

  I press my hand into my bulge, squeezing it painfully to calm it down. “Go on.”

  “I need someone who will be patient with me. Explore with me. Maybe even take the lead.”

  I’m almost certain my eyes are trying to pop out of my head. “Take the lead?”

  “Yeah. I think someone dominant would be cool. Someone with experience, but who would still respect where I’m at with all of this.”

  Merde! He couldn’t know he is pressing every hot button I have right now. Someone dominating him? In my best dreams. “Right.”

  “At this point, I’d just like to kiss someone.”

  “You haven’t kissed?”

  “Well there was this one guy. We were wasted. It was awful.”

  “Why?”

  “We were in a club, and I pushed myself too hard to be into him because he was into me. We went into the bathroom, and…” Apollo shakes his head. “He wanted me to go down on him, so while we were kissing he kept pushing me down until I got pissed and walked off. I wasn’t about to have my first dick sucking experience on a dirty public bathroom floor with a drunk stranger.”

  My brain stutters; still stuck on the image of Apollo with a dick between his pretty lips. Not just any dick. My dick.

  “Smart,” I murmur as my brain comes back online. “First times are always important.”

  “Agreed. So yeah, since then, I’ve been kind of stuck. I don’t know how to ask a guy out or anything.”

  “Yes, you do. You asked me out.”

  He laughs softly. “Guess I did. I’m comfortable with you. We’re already friends.”

  “Are we?”

  Apollo tilts his head. “Of course. You don’t think so?”

  “I had hope you could see me as a peer, and not just Lucien’s brother.”

  Apollo’s eyes soften. “I definitely see you as more than his brother.”

  Oh, how I wish he meant that the way I want him to. He couldn’t though. I will not get my hopes up.

  “Tell me more, Felix. If I met a guy I was interested in, what would I do?”

  “I think you have to navigate the details on your own, but for me, honesty is the most important. Being upfront with your intentions. So many men are not clear what they want.”

  He nods, taking a bite and chewing slowly, as if in thought. “Have you had any major relationships?”

  “No. I have been too busy. I am ready now though.”

  “You deserve someone awesome.”

  “Thank you. So do you.”

  “I think I’ll take a step back for a while. I jumped in too fast and had some experiences that weren’t great. Sometimes I’m old fashioned, and I think the guy for me will just show up in my life.” He laughs. “Maybe that’s wishful thinking, but I feel like that could happen.”

  “Are you still dating women?”

  “No, not really. I was telling my friend, Jude, that it’s like now that this part of me is open, I want to stay here a while.” He leans forward slightly. “It’s strange because my whole life I thought I was straight, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “But when I close my eyes, I feel like my person is a man.”

  “Your person?”

  “The person for me. The person I’ll marry and build a life with. It’s why it hasn’t worked out before. I’m still waiting for the one, but I know it’s coming, and I’m pretty sure it’s a man.”

  My heart feels like it’s crumbling in my chest. I always knew I would have to deal with seeing Apollo with a beautiful woman on his arm, but I never imagined I would have to see a beautiful man there instead. The jealousy might crush me.

  “Well, you’re definitely missing out. Sex with men is…” I pause, cursing my burning cheeks for giving away my desire. Maybe he won’t notice.

  “You’re blushing.”

  Merde. He noticed.

  “Go on?”

  I clear my throat. “Granted, I have never had sex with a woman to compare, but the feeling of a man is incredible.”

  “What’s so good about it?”

  “Everything. A hairy chest, stubble when he kisses you, the strength, the scent, the feeling of…” I laugh. “This is not an appropriate place for this discussion.”

  “You’re right.” He leans back. “But I hope we can have it soon.”

  “You watch porn?” I whisper.

  “Lots of it.”

  I clear my throat. “It is a good way to get through a long night.”

  “Yeah.” He grins. “You’re definitely all grown up, aren’t you, Felix?”

  “For a long time, Apollo.”

  “Can I ask a question?”

  “Of course.”

  “Is the makeup thing totally cool in Paris?”

  My body tenses as I shake my head. That was the cold shower I needed to calm my racing pulse. “No. I did not go out in public like this. I had trouble dating as well. I am obviously comfortable with my feminine side, but not all men want that.”

  “Why?”

  “Preference. I prefer men far more masculine than me. So do other men, no?”

  “But there must be men who find you attractive. I mean, feminine looks in general?”

  “Yes, of course.”

  “You feel comfortable now?”

  “Yes. I promised myself moving home I would not hold back anymore. I must be careful, of course. There are always people who will target men like me to do harm.”

  Apollo frowns.

  “But I will keep to safe areas. LGBT friendly neighborhoods. Miami is full of them."

  “Yeah.”

  “It is another reason why I prefer a face to face meeting. I do not want him to be surprised by me.”

  “I don’t understand why anyone would have an issue with it. Like if women can wear makeup and pierce their ears, why can’t men?”

  “I could write a thesis on it, but in one word, it is misogyny, no?”

  Apollo tilts his head. “Explain.”

  “To me, anyone who says a man who is feminine is a negative thing, is threatened by female power. Alternatively, you may think, innately, that being feminine means being weak because we have been taught this, no? Despite the overwhelming examples of women showing they are indeed far from weak. It is a narrative meant to make truly weak people feel strong.”

  “I never thought of it that way.”

  “I imagine you do not see women as weak.”

  “Definitely not. The women I’ve known, my mother, others, are not even close to weak.”

  “It is strength to merely exist as a woman. The challenges they face every day are nothing we can even comprehend. Even me as a gay man. I will not hide this part of me a minute longer. I am proud of who I am. I embrace the feminine power I have been gifted. It makes me stronger, not weaker.”

  Apollo smiles. “That’s amazing. I agree, you look great. I’m proud to be out with you.”

  “Thank you, Apollo. This was a good first outin
g to reacquaint myself with Miami. It will be difficult to top.”

  He laughs. “Well, hopefully, we can do it again. My friends are your friends. They’re very social. We’ll get you out there again.”

  I smile. “I am looking forward to it.”

  After dinner we take a walk down the boulevard in front of the beach. It’s been so long since I’ve been to South Beach. The ocean air envelopes us, sticky with late summer humidity and thick with salt. I love it, stopping to inhale deeply as if it were reviving a part of me I put to sleep ten years ago.

  Apollo steps behind me, gripping my shoulders but saying nothing. His touch, his closeness, draws my desire back to the surface. I’ve pined for this man most of my life, and even though tonight was a perfect date, I have to remember it’s not romance he’s seeking. Not with me.

  “Ready to go home?” he asks.

  “Yes.”

  We walk back to his car, and once inside, Apollo puts his hand on my thigh. “I hope we can do this again.”

  “Anytime.”

  “And if you have any tips for me to woo some guy, I’m all ears.”

  “I will let you know.” As he starts the car, I study his profile. So strong, sexy, his jaw sharp enough to cut glass. “Maybe someone will come along and woo you.”

  “God, I wish.” He laughs. “This is one area of my life I would happily give over control. Like I said, someone aggressive and pursuing me would be a dream. I could just follow.” He glances at me. “I’d like that.”

  I swallow hard as a lump forms in my suddenly dry throat. I would aggressively pursue him with everything I had if I thought I had even a remote chance of getting him.

  As we drive, my thoughts are wild, swinging from trying to convince myself to go for it, to remembering the many reasons it would never work. Yes, he’s sweet. And gorgeous. And painfully sexy. But he’s ten years older and my brother’s best friend.

  When he pulls into my parents’ driveway, the high I’ve been riding all night, washes away like the tide.

  “I had an amazing time tonight, Felix. It was so good to catch up. Literally. My brain has now adjusted. You are not nineteen anymore.”

  I laugh softly. “No.”

  “I can’t wait to get to know you even more.”

  “Me too, Apollo. Thank you for tonight.”

  “You’re welcome. Let me know how tomorrow goes with Briar.”

  “Of course.” I unbuckle my seat belt. “Bonsoir.”

  “Night.”

  I wave as I enter the house. In my room, I strip out of my clothes and wipe my makeup off, studying my face as I brush my teeth. In bed, my mind won’t stop replaying the evening and every word out of Apollo’s luscious mouth.

  It isn’t long before my hand creeps between my legs, stroking my hardening cock. I imagine dominating the gorgeous man, him on his knees before me, worshipping my dick as I teach him to suck it just right.

  Yes, like that, Apollo.

  Mmm, watch the teeth.

  Open wide, lover.

  I stroke harder, faster, my precum slicking the way as Apollo’s gorgeous face and curious eyes dance in my mind.

  I want to taste you, imaginary-Apollo whispers.

  Yes.

  I arch my back, fucking into my fist. In my fantasy, Apollo’s mouth is hot, his gag reflex non-existent as he deep throats me. The pressure builds. My release teases my cock, swirling deep in my balls until I explode, Apollo’s name a desperate gasp on my lips.

  I open my eyes, breathing hard as I come down from that high. I just got off to Apollo for the one millionth time in my life. I need to meet a man. One who can compete with a fantasy that will never come true.

  After spending the morning on my masterpiece mille-feuille, I package it up, then head back to my bedroom to find an appropriate outfit to meet Briar. I want to show off my flair but keep it professional, so I choose a pair of light-gray slacks and a baby-pink button-up blouse. I bought it in the women’s section, but it’s a simple design that honestly anyone could wear. For shoes, I select my white espadrilles. I let my hair stay naturally wavy, giving in to the Florida humidity, and for my face, a simple gloss and light coat of mascara. Smiling, I nod at my reflection. I’m pleased.

  Borrowing my mother’s SUV, I load the dessert into the front seat, along with my portfolio, and set the directions in the GPS. Twenty minutes. Perfect timing.

  Right before I set off, my phone buzzes with a text from Apollo.

  Apollo: Good luck! You're gonna slay them.

  * * *

  Smiling, I reply.

  Me: Thank you!

  * * *

  Apollo: I’m across the street at Black Heart Tattoo if you want to stop in after. Would love to see you again.

  * * *

  Me: I will.

  I start my drive, trying to focus on remembering the US driving rules, playing a pop music station and listening to the latest hits. A few I’ve heard in France, but most of it is completely new to me. Before long, I’ve arrived at Dulce Santo. I smile as I pull into the back parking lot. This neighborhood is adorable. The streets are lined with shops and restaurants in Miami’s signature pastel colors. I can tell much of it is new.

  After getting my things, I walk to the front, noticing Black Heart Tattoo truly is across the street. Not directly enough that I could actually see Apollo if I were working here, which is thankful because I’d never get a thing done.

  My directions said to press the bell on the locked door, so I do that. A young man with wild curls and a stunning face walks to the door, opening it to greet me.

  “Do you have an appointment?”

  “I do. I’m here to see Briar.”

  “Oh.” He smiles, allowing me to enter. “You must be Felix?”

  “I am.”

  “Genesis. Nice to meet you.”

  “You as well.”

  “Cool accent.”

  I nod. “Cool name.”

  He laughs. “Thanks. Have a seat? I’ll go let Briar know you're here.”

  “Thank you.”

  I settle in a chair, gazing through the large picture window. That must be the main bakery. It’s packed with people, while this side has no one in it but me.

  “Felix.”

  I twist to see another man coming toward me. He’s as young as the other man, I imagine, and he’s so handsome with his smart glasses, sweet face, and preppy clothes. I stand, extending my hand. “Yes, hi. Briar?”

  “Yes. Nice to meet you.”

  “You as well.”

  He sits at the table, motioning for me to do the same.

  “Did you find us okay?”

  “Oh, yes, it was easy. I’m living at my parents’ house until I get settled in, so maybe it’s twenty minutes.”

  “Oh, cool. Know where you plan to live yet?”

  “No. Apollo said he would take me around to see places.”

  “Ah, good. I guess I’ll get right to it. Why is someone with your background interested in working here?”

  “Oh, yes, euh. I went to Paris ten years ago with big dreams. I thought I would have my own chocolatier and do weddings and events for celebrities.”

  Briar nods, smiling.

  “I did lots of weddings and events for celebrities, but under the command of far more renowned chefs than me. It is a difficult world. Everyone has the same dream I had. It is like moving to Hollywood to be an actor, no? Even with my skills, it was impossible to break out, and the sacrifice required was not palatable to me.”

  “I see.”

  “I got caught up in it. I worked hard and I was noticed. I was in demand and ended up in places I had only dreamt of before.” I smile. “But it wore on my psyche. I was tired. Weary. Unable to push more than I had already. I am close to my thirtieth birthday. I think one goes through some self-reflection, no?”

  “Sure.”

  “I realized I wanted to be home. Here. I wanted to see my family. I wanted to build the rest of my life here. So, I came home.
But for all my challenges in France, I love to bake as much as ever. It is in my blood. It pumps my heart. It is my actual soul. I would not be me if I were not baking.”

  Briar nods, studying my face. “So, you aren’t just taking this to get some money coming in while you look for more?”

  “Oh no, absolutely not. I…how do I say?” I nibble my lip for a second. “My finances are stable. I want to work in a place where I can use my talents, specifically my chocolate and sugar skills. I want to be close to home, in an environment where I can be myself, and also have some balance to enjoy the rest of my life, no?”

  “Your accent is so cool, boo,” Genesis says from behind the counter.

  Briar shoots him a look. “Gen, we’re in an interview.”

  Genesis grins. "Sorry. Distracted.”

  I bow my head slightly. “Thank you.”

  “Sorry,” Briar says. “Can I see your portfolio?”

  “Please.” I hand him the black leather binder, watching his face as he flips through the pages.

  “Wow,” he whispers. “This is incredible. You’re very talented, Felix.”

  “Thank you. I brought a sample too. I made it this morning. I wanted to show you I can bake anything, I think.”

  “Oh, awesome. Gen can you grab some plates, please?”

  “Of course,” he answers.

  He comes out a few moments later with plates, forks, and a knife. I open the box and am pleased by their expressions when they see my mille-feuille. I cut it into two pieces and set it on the plates. I already know it tastes good.

  Briar takes a bite and his face lights up. “Oh my god. It’s so delicate. It’s perfect.”

  “Damn, boo, this is delicious,” Genesis says. I already like him.

  “Thank you.”

  Briar studies me for a moment. “I don’t think I can afford you, but I would love to have you if you’d consider us.”

  “Really? Oh.” I clap my hands. “I would love to work here.”

  “I’ll see what I can do on salary.”

  “Please, whatever you offer for this role is fine. I assure you. I do not want special consideration.”

  “Are you sure? We pay well for the area, and we offer benefits.”