Tempt Me: Tattoos and Temptation Book 5

by Mia Monroe

  “I don't know what you mean.”

  “Well, last night when I picked him up, he was wearing a full face of makeup.”

  “Oh?”

  I hear the surprise in his voice.

  “This is new.”

  “Yeah. He said he was done holding back. He wanted to be authentic to himself. We had a good talk about it.”

  “Ah.”

  “Honestly, he looked amazing. You could see and feel his confidence and how good he felt. Made me happy for him.”

  “Yes, that is good. I would not want someone to hurt or ridicule him.”

  “I know. He said he’s careful, and frankly, Miami is pretty open. I think he’ll be fine. Your mom didn’t react at all, except with pride as she usually does.”

  “I’m not surprised she didn’t tell me. She knows I would worry.”

  “Yeah, but I’m here, and he’s smart. He was very understated for his interview, but his style still showed. I’m proud of him for doing what he wants.”

  “Yes, something many of us can aspire to.”

  “Right. So don’t be worried. He’s got lots of support here. My friends are his friends. We’ve all got his back.”

  “You are a good man, Apollo. It means so much to me that you care as much as I do about him. Thank you.”

  Probably a little more than I should. “Not a problem. He’s safe with me.” And I mean that.

  “I will talk to you soon.”

  “Bye.”

  I end the call, shaking romantic thoughts of Felix away. Last night felt like a perfect first date. The conversation flowed, and Felix had me captivated by his charm and personality. He’s fun to be around. He’s also this amazing, kind of addictive blend of sexiness and innocence that has me wrapped around his finger. Did I notice his reaction when I told him I was into guys? Yep. It made me feel warm inside, like he could think I was attractive. I don’t know what Felix’s type is, and I should hope that it’s not me in order to keep things between us in the right place, but the man in me kind of hopes I am, even though I’m not at all the kind of guy I see locking Felix down.

  I imagine he would be attracted to someone with sophisticated tastes. Someone who goes to the ballet or art museums. They would have deep discussions of philosophy or literature over cognac.

  What would I give him? Long talks about the virtues of Marvel while drinking a cold beer? I’ve never been inside of a museum except for field trips as a kid. But if he batted those big green eyes of his and asked me with his sweet, accented voice to take him to the ballet, I’d trip over myself to get those tickets, just to see that smile on his face one more time.

  Fuck. Felix is not an option. I’ll repeat that a few more times until I fucking get it.

  As I pull into the driveway, I take a few minutes to calm my beating heart. No one could be more surprised by my reaction to him than me. I get out of the car, but before I get to the door, it opens and Felix steps out. His outfit brings a huge smile to my face. He’s wearing jeans this time, a T-shirt that says “BAKERS GONNA BAKE” on it, and white sneaks. His hair is down and wavy and his face looks similar to how it did earlier today. He smiles, waving at me as he makes his way down the steps.

  “Hi,” I say when he reaches me.

  “Hello. This all right?”

  “Yeah, you look great. Ready?”

  “Yes.”

  We get in my car and I take off in the direction of Black Heart. Felix is gazing out the window, bopping his head to the rap music playing on the radio.

  “I missed American music,” he says. “We get some in France, of course, but not as much variety.”

  “What’s your favorite music?”

  He shrugs, glancing at me. “I don’t know. I think I like it all. You?”

  “I like rap, hip hop, but sometimes I even listen to some classic rock. I grew up on that from my dad.”

  “Ah. How are your parents? All good?”

  “Yeah, everyone’s good. How’s Claudia?”

  “Oh, she is good. She is somewhere in Africa, but she is supposed to be home at Christmas. She stopped in France last year, and we had a nice dinner. It was good to see her.”

  “I bet. I haven't seen her in a long time.”

  “How could you? I do not think she’s been in Miami for twenty years for more than a day or two.”

  “Right. It’s impressive. You guys just move to different countries, taking adventures. I’ve never lived outside of Miami.”

  “Yes, but I have rarely felt like I am home either. I’m ready for that feeling.”

  “I get that.”

  We drive in silence for a few minutes.

  “Do you want to get married and have kids and stuff?”

  Felix laughs. “It is all I have ever wanted. The minute marriage equality was passed, I started to dream of a big, beautiful wedding. My fantasies shift from an elegant, sexy urban lifestyle in a high-rise overlooking the ocean to a sweet, domestic life in the suburbs. My future husband will be the tie-breaker.”

  I laugh. “You’ve got it all figured out.”

  “Except for the future husband part. I’m still working on that.”

  “You’ll find him. Of course, he’ll have to get past Lucien first.”

  “Oh my god, this is so true. He is overbearing, but I adore him so much, I tolerate it.”

  “He means well.”

  “Of course.” He smiles, twisting forward in his seat. “What about you? Last night you said you were sure your person is a man. Would you want to get married and all of those things with a man?”

  “I want to do all those things. I don’t care who it’s with gender wise, but like I said, I just have a feeling it’s a man.” Just not this man, I remind myself. “But if you’re asking if I worry about marrying a man, I don’t. I want to fall in love. I’m ready.” I nod, stopping at a red light. “I just need to be careful and think things through. My heart often overrides my brain.”

  “Better your heart than your dick.”

  I laugh. “Fuck, man. Ain’t that the truth.”

  He grins, winking at me.

  Before long, we’re at Salito’s, this awesome mom and pop shop that I eat at way too often, but it’s so good, I can’t get enough. Cheap too.

  “Want to sit outside?”

  Felix nods. “Yes, it’s nice tonight.”

  “Agreed.”

  We’re led to a small table on the patio, facing the street, so there are plenty of people watching opportunities. This is a trendy area of Miami, and it shows. Pretty people walk by on their way to dinner, nightclubs, bars. Unfortunately for me, none of them are as pretty as my dinner guest.

  “I called Lucien today,” Felix says after we order a pitcher of margaritas. “He is delighted for me to have a job so soon thanks to you.”

  “I didn’t do anything but introduce you. You got the job yourself.”

  He nods, sipping his drink. “But thank you again.”

  “My pleasure. Now I’ll get to see you all the time. The guys are always coming over to bring us stuff or just talk.”

  “It’s very nice to have such close relationships with coworkers. I’ve never had that.”

  “I haven’t either. Honestly, they feel like an extension of my family. It’s cool.”

  Felix smiles, his eyes lingering on my face as if he’s memorizing the details.

  “What?” I ask.

  “Oh, I’m staring. I am sorry. I was just noticing you don’t look your age. It seems as though you have not aged since I left.”

  “I didn’t. I’m actually immortal. I don’t age.”

  Felix giggles. “I do not know if that would be a nice thing or a bad thing. To be immortal. What do you think?”

  “Pros and cons. One of the cons, you’d have to watch everyone else around you age and die. You’d be stuck here with no end in sight.”

  “Yes, that is a con.”

  “But a pro, you could do anything without fear. Jump from a plane, swim with sha
rks, ask out that hot person you’re crushing on. Anything.”

  “You could do that anyway. Lots of people do.”

  “But there is risk. If you were immortal, no risk.”

  “But what is life without some risk? How boring to live safely in a box. Risk makes you feel…alive, no?”

  “I don’t know, Felix. I live in a safe box.”

  “Maybe you should do something risky. Ask out the hot person. They won’t bite you like a shark.”

  “Yeah, you’re right. I should take some risks.” Like asking out my best friend’s baby brother?

  “What’s the riskiest thing you’ve ever done?” Felix asks.

  I think it over for a few minutes, then it comes to me. “I had just realized that I might be attracted to guys. We were at the club, partying. Lucien was there too. There was a go-go dancer in a cage, and he was fucking hot. I just kept staring at him, but then Lucien pushed me to go talk to him, so I did. He knelt down and put his finger under my chin and told me I was gorgeous. Nothing happened except this feeling inside of me.”

  “Feeling?”

  “Until that moment, I wasn’t one hundred percent sure. It was a question mark in my head because it had been an isolated situation that had me thinking that way.”

  “But?”

  “That dancer, that touch, his eyes as he told me I was gorgeous, it was like…” I pause, letting my brain find the words. “It was like knowing myself for the first time. Every part of me tingled with this new awareness. It was amazing.”

  Felix smiles. “That is beautiful. I am happy for you. Sexuality can be confusing at times, but when it becomes clear, it is joyous, no?”

  “Yes. Joy. I was a little nervous. I was way out of my comfort zone. I knew how to walk up to women and ask them out, you know? This is a whole new world.”

  “I do not think it is as hard as you think. If you see a boy you think is cute, you walk up, you say, 'hello, my name is Apollo.' He will look at you and smile and tell you his name. You can buy him a drink and tell him you think he’s pretty. He will tell you that he thinks you are sexy, and then you will exchange phone numbers. You will call him a few days later and ask him to dinner. He will say yes, and then you begin. Is that different from your previous experiences with women?”

  “No.” I search his eyes as he follows a water droplet on his glass with his finger. “Is that what men say to you? That you're pretty?”

  “Sometimes. Sometimes they say I am adorable, but as you learned last night, I do not like that one.”

  “Why?”

  “It is too diminutive. A child is adorable. A little Pomeranian with a bow is adorable. Even tiny little tacos can be adorable. I am a man. I am not adorable.”

  “But pretty is okay?”

  He grins. “Yes, because I am. I reject that adjectives are gender specific. Men can be pretty, and women can be handsome. Men can be graceful and elegant, and women can be suave and distinguished. I go out of my way to be pretty because it makes me happy.”

  “I like you, Felix. You know exactly where you stand on everything, don’t you?”

  “Everything.”

  After we order, I refill our margaritas, searching his face.

  “What adjective would you use for me?”

  Felix smiles. “Are you easily embarrassed?”

  “Almost never.”

  “Fine. I will be honest. Your name suits you, Apollo. It is a strong name, a name for a god, and you have a strong face. Your features blend nicely. If I described you to a friend, I would say he is sexy, handsome, hot.”

  “That is kind, Felix. When I was younger, I wished I looked more like the mythological god. He had blond hair and blue eyes and eternal youth.”

  “And now?”

  “There’s something to be said for a little imperfection. You met Jude?”

  Felix nods.

  “Five years ago, I would’ve been so jealous of a guy who looks like him. He’s perfect. Everything is in balance on his face, he’s hot, and has a great body. He’s also an awesome person.”

  “He is very attractive, yes.”

  “Fortunately, I’m not that guy from five years ago. That shit with Rachel fucked with my confidence a little. I know I’m not classically handsome. My nose is big, but it’s my dad’s nose, so I like it. My eyes are black as night, but they’re just like my grandma’s, so I like them. I’m a little skinny, and nothing I do bulks me up, but that’s everyone in my family, so I accept it.” I grin. “I got a nice ass though.”

  Felix laughs. “You do. I have looked.”

  I have a nice dick too, but I should probably keep that part to myself.

  “Jude’s looks are very nice,” Felix says. “He has that appeal that can make your knees weak. I understand that, but…” He shakes his head, casting his eyes away. “My tacos are getting cold.”

  “You don’t have to hold back with me.”

  “I know. I do not want to make you uncomfortable.”

  “I doubt you can, Felix.”

  He nods, forcing his eyes up to me. “To me, you are far more appealing than Jude.”

  “Because you know me, maybe.”

  “No. I don’t know how to say it in a good way.”

  “Then say it in a bad way. We’ll figure it out. I know you would never say anything unkind to me.”

  “I would not.” His cheeks flush pink as he takes a gulp of his drink. He fixes his eyes on me, looking nervous, but then he smiles. “I like your imperfections. They are beautiful to me.”

  Wow. My eyes flutter from the compliment as a kaleidoscope of butterflies take flight deep within me. My heartbeat quickens as warmth settles over me.

  “God, Felix, that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.”

  “It is true. I have always appreciated the less than perfect in everything but pastry.” He chuckles. “I demand perfection there.”

  “Of course.”

  “But in humans, in animals, in nature, I embrace those things. Maybe because I am also imperfectly made.”

  “No, I disagree.”

  “Because you know me, no?” He smiles, picking at his taco meat. “I wanted to be thin, desperately, when I got to Paris. Everyone was thin, even the bakers. I felt so fat and clumsy and out of place.”

  “Aw, Felix.”

  “I tried to diet for the first time in my life. I never cared before. I was comfortable in my skin, but I was rejected for my size there. I even tried to take up running, like crazy Lucien, but it made me sad.”

  I chuckle. “Running makes me sad too.”

  “It is hell, no?”

  “Definitely.”

  “I lost some weight, but I was hungry and miserable. To keep the pounds off, I could barely eat. I looked in the mirror and did not see myself. Yet I was constantly praised at work and in my social circles. Suddenly, I was valued. My thinness made me accepted, desired.” He gazes ahead, watching people walk by for a moment before returning his eyes to me. “Eventually, I had enough. I woke up one morning and I said fuck it and fuck them. If I am only valuable if I am thin, they can go fuck themselves, no?”

  “Right.”

  “I walked down to the cafe and ordered two croissants and a huge coffee with milk and sugar. I was so happy in that moment. I took back my power. I embraced my imperfections. I am not thin, but I am healthy. I like my body. It does so much for me. I take my vitamins and I eat healthy most of the time, but I do not want an existence that requires me to sacrifice for the pleasure of other people. What kind of life is that?”

  “A shitty one. I don’t see a single imperfection when I look at you. I see a man living life on his terms, and that’s hot as fuck. Besides, you’re gorgeous, and I don’t believe anyone who says you're not.”

  He flips his hair off his shoulder. “Yes, my parents were generous with their genetics, no?”

  I laugh. “Yeah. All three of you kids hit the jackpot.”

  “Yes. Claudia stays thin because her job is dema
nding, and she does not have much time to eat. It is only fuel to her. Lucien keeps the pounds at bay with running so he can enjoy his food. Me? I do what the fuck I want.”

  I laugh as he takes a huge bite of taco.

  “You’re awesome, Felix.”

  “So are you.”

  After dinner, we order another pitcher of margaritas and talk for hours, discovering the little things about each other—movie preferences, favorite foods, sleeping habits. We close the restaurant down, then take a walk outside, mingling with club-goers and people going in and out of bars.

  At one point Felix’s hand brushes against mine, and the jolt it gives me is like nothing I’ve ever felt. I gaze down at him, but he’s ignoring me, instead pressing against the glass of a storefront. I pull my eyes away from his face to see what’s got him so excited. It’s a lingerie store.

  “Isn’t it beautiful?” he whispers. “All of it. So enticing.”

  “Lingerie?”

  He nods, still peeking inside the closed shop. “I see things I want.”

  “You wear lingerie?”

  He gazes up at me, nodding. “Oh yes. It is a shame that the best things are made for women. I do have a bit of trouble fitting all the bits in, no?” He laughs. “But there is nothing like the feeling of lace and silk on your skin.”

  Oh fuck. I can imagine him in the teal outfit displayed in the window. It’s a corset looking thing with garter belts and sheer panties. His pale, lightly freckled skin would look amazing set against that color.

  And my dick is hard.

  “Do you, um, have a lot of lingerie?”

  “It is all I wear. In France, there was a shop with the most exquisite pieces you have ever seen. They had a men’s section, which delighted me. I bought one of everything. It cost me thousands, but I do not care. There is no price on such happiness.”

  “What do you mean, a men’s section?”

  “The same pieces for women, adjusted slightly for men. Wider straps for broader shoulders, more room in the front for the dick.”

  “I see.” My throat feels like I swallowed glass. The idea of Felix wearing stuff like that is too much. I need to adjust myself, but he can see my reflection in the glass.

  “I will come back when they are open. It is my one indulgence.”

  “Are you wearing some now?” Why the fuck did I ask that?