The City We Became

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by N. K. Jemisin


  “Cool,” Manny murmurs. This whole episode probably represents some kind of psychotic break on his part, but he cannot deny that what he sees is gorgeous and terrifying. Weird New York. He likes it, regardless.

  But something is wrong with it. He must go somewhere, do something, or all of the bifurcated beauty that he sees will die. He knows this, suddenly, more surely than instinct.

  “I have to go,” he murmurs to himself in surprise. His voice sounds strange—tinny and sort of stretched out. Maybe he’s slurring? Maybe it’s the peculiar echo of his voice from the walls of two different Penn Station entryway walls in two different Penn Stations.

  “Hey,” says a guy in a neon-green button-down nearby. Manny blinks at him; Normal New York abruptly resumes, Weird New York vanishing for the moment. (It’s still somewhere nearby, though.) The button-down is part of a uniform. The guy is carrying a sign hawking bike rentals at tourists. He faces Manny with open hostility. “Puke your drunk ass off somewhere else.”

  Manny tries to straighten, but he knows he’s still a little diagonal. “I’m not drunk.” He’s just seeing juxtaposed multiple realities while being plagued by inexplicable compulsions and phantom sensations.

  “Well, then, take your high ass somewhere else.”

  “Yes.” That’s a good idea. He needs to go… east. He turns in that direction, following instincts he never had before a few minutes ago. “What’s thataway?” he asks Bike Guy.

  “My left nut,” Bike Guy says.

  “That’s south!” laughs another bike rental hawker nearby. Bike Guy rolls his eyes and grabs his crotch at her in the iconic New York Sign Language gesture of suck-my-dick.

  The attitude’s starting to grate. Manny says, “If I rent a bike, will you tell me what’s in that direction?”

  Bike Guy’s suddenly all smiles. “Sure—”

  “No, sir,” says Bike Woman, serious now as she comes over. “Sir, I’m sorry, but we cannot rent a bike to someone who appears to be intoxicated or ill. Company policy. Do you need me to call 911?”

  People in New York sure like to call 911. “No, I can walk. I need to get to—” FDR Drive. “—FDR Drive.”

  The woman’s expression turns skeptical. “You wanna walk to FDR Drive? What the hell kind of tourist are you? Sir.”

  “He ain’t no tourist,” says he of the southern left nut, as he chin-points at Manny. “Look at him.”

  Manny’s never been to New York before, at least as far as he knows. “I just need to get there. Fast.”

  “Take a cab, then,” says the woman. “Taxi stand’s right there. Need me to grab one for you?”

  Manny shivers a little, feeling the rise of something new within himself. Not sickness this time—or rather, not just sickness, since that terrible stabbish ache hasn’t faded. What comes instead is a shift in perception. Beneath his hand, which rests on the kiosk, he hears a soft rattle of decades’ worth of flyers. (The kiosk has nothing on it. There’s a sign: DO NOT POST BILLS. He hears what used to be there.) Traffic’s flying past on Seventh, hurrying to get through the light before a million pedestrians start trying to get to Macy’s or K-Town karaoke and barbecue. All these things belong; they are rightness. But his eyes stutter over a TGI Fridays and he twitches a little, lip curling in involuntary distaste. Something about its facade feels foreign, intrusive, jarring. A tiny, cluttered shoe-repair shop next to it does not elicit the same feeling, nor does a vape shop next door. Just the chain stores that Manny sees—a Foot Locker, a Sbarro, all the sorts of stores one normally finds at a low-end suburban mall. Except these mall stores are here, in the heart of Manhattan, and their presence is… not truly harmful, but irritating. Like paper cuts, or little quick slaps to the face.

  The subway sign, though, feels right and real. The billboards, too, no matter what’s on them. The cabs, and flow of cars and people—all these things soothe the irritants, somehow. He draws in a deep breath that reeks of hot garbage and acrid steam belching from a manhole cover nearby, and it’s foul but it’s right. More than right. Suddenly he’s better. The sick feeling recedes a little, and his side dulls from stabbing pain into cold prickles that only hurt when he moves.

  “Thanks,” he says to Bike Woman, straightening and grabbing his roller bag. “But my ride’s coming.” Wait. How does he know that?

  The woman shrugs. Both of them turn away to resume hawking bikes. Manny walks toward the area where people are waiting for Lyfts or Ubers. He has both apps on his phone, but he hasn’t used them. There should be nothing here for him.

  However, a moment later, a cab rolls to a stop right in front of him.

  It’s like a cab out of an old movie: smooth and bulbous and huge, with a black-and-white checkered strip along its near flank. Bike Guy does a double take, then whistles. “A Checker! Haven’t seen one of those since I was a kid.”

  “It’s for me,” Manny says unnecessarily, and reaches for the door.

  It’s locked. I need this open, he thinks. The door lock clicks open. So, that’s new, but he’ll process it later.

  “What the—” says the woman inside as Manny tosses his bag onto the back seat and climbs in after it. She’s a very young white woman, so young that she doesn’t look old enough to drive, who has twisted around to stare at him. But she’s mostly indignant rather than scared, which seems a good starting place for their future relationship. “Hey. Dude. This isn’t a real cab. It’s just an antique—a prop. People rent it for weddings.”

  Manny pulls the door shut. “FDR, please,” he says, and flashes his most charming smile.

  It shouldn’t work. She should be screaming her head off and trying to get the nearest cop to shoot him. But something else has occurred between them, helping to keep the woman calm. Manny has followed to the letter the ritual of getting-in-a-cab, introducing enough plausible deniability that she thinks he’s deluded rather than a potential threat. However, there’s power in what he’s done that goes beyond just psychology. He’s felt it before, hasn’t he? Just a moment ago, when he somehow drew strength from the chaos of Seventh Avenue to ease the pain in his side. He can actually hear some of that power whispering to her, Maybe he’s an actor. He looks like That Guy whose name you can’t remember, from That Musical you like. So maybe don’t freak out yet? Because New Yorkers don’t freak out around famous people.

  And how does he know all this? Because he does, that’s how. He’s trying to keep up.

  So he adds, after a breath passes and she just stares, “You’re going that way anyway, aren’t you?”

  She narrows her eyes at him. They’re at a red light, but the walk sign nearby is blinking. He’s got maybe ten more seconds. “How the hell did you know that?”

  Because the cab wouldn’t have stopped if you weren’t, he doesn’t say, and reaches for his wallet. “Here,” he says, handing her a hundred-dollar bill.

  She stares at it, then her lip curls. “Right, a fake.”

  “I have twenties, if you’d prefer.” There’s more power in twenties anyway. A lot of businesses in the city won’t take hundreds, also for fear of counterfeit bills. With twenties, Manny will be able to compel her to take him where he needs to go, whether she wants to or not. He’d rather persuade, though. Force is… he doesn’t want to use force.

  “Tourists do carry a lot of cash,” she murmurs while frowning, as if reasoning with her better instincts. “And you don’t look like a serial killer…”

  “Most serial killers take care to look like ordinary people,” he points out.

  “Not helping your case with the mansplaining, guy.”

  “Good point. Sorry.”

  That seems to decide her. “Well. Assholes don’t say sorry.” She considers for a moment longer. “Make that two Benjies, and okay.”

  He offers the twenties, although he does have another hundred-dollar bill in his wallet. There’s no need to use the bills for power anymore, however. She has completed the ritual by accepting his directions, then performed the orthogonal
ritual of haggling for more money. All the stars have aligned. She’s on board. As she’s pocketing the money, the traffic light changes and a car immediately honks behind her. She casually flips that driver off and then wrenches the wheel to drag the cab across four active lanes as if she’s done this, or driven the Daytona 500, all her life.

  And that’s that. Even Manny is amazed at how well this strange power works as he hangs on to the door handle and the ancient lap-only seat belt and tries not to look alarmed by her driving. He has some inkling of why it works. Money talks and bullshit walks in New York. In a lot of cities, probably—but here, the nation’s shrine to unrestricted predatory capitalism, money has nearly talismanic power. Which means that he can use it as a talisman.

  The traffic lights miraculously stay in their favor for several blocks, which is fortunate because the young woman is likely to break the sound barrier at this rate. Then she curses and slams on the brakes as a light ahead makes a fast switch to red. Too fast; amazing that she doesn’t run the light. He smells a waft of burnt rubber through the open window as he leans forward to squint at the light. “Busted light?”

  “Must be,” she says, tapping her fingertips rapidly on the wheel. This, Manny knows, is a gesture required by the ritual of hurry-up-damn-it, but it doesn’t work, because that ritual never works. “They usually line up better than this. Just one light out of sequence can start a traffic jam.”

  Manny presses his hand against the cold, spreading ache in his side that is beginning to throb again. Something about the traffic light has pinged his new sense of wrongness—and the wrongness is enough to erode whatever anesthetic effect he’s managed to summon. He opens his mouth to suggest that she run the light, which is risky. The wrongness has probably weakened his influence on her, too, and now there’s nothing to stop her from thinking twice about the strange Black dude in her antique cab. But whatever is happening on the east side of the island—FDR Drive—is growing urgent. He can’t risk getting kicked out of the cab until he gets there.

  Before Manny can speak, however, a BMW passes through the intersection ahead. There are long, feathery white tendrils growing from its wheel wells.

  He watches it go past in utter shock. The driver sees it, too; her mouth falls open. Feathery doesn’t quite fit what they’re seeing. It’s more like an anemone’s fronds, or the tendrils of certain jellyfish. As the car rolls by, gliding along behind a slower driver, they see one of the tendrils seem to… inhale. It opens itself out a little, revealing a thickened stalk that tapers as it stretches away from the wheels, up to slightly darkened tips. All of it is translucent. Not all of it is here—in this world, that is. Manny sees at once that it is like the dual city: here, but also in that other place where the sky is wild and people are a never-thought.

  All of that is academic, though, because in the next moment, Manny notices something that makes the little hairs on the back of his neck stand up. The tendrils twitch as the BMW thumps over a pothole—but it’s not the pothole that they’re reacting to. They’re longer, see. Turning, like some kind of wiggly, wormlike radio antennas. Stretching toward the Checker cab as if they sense Manny inside, and smell his fear.

  After the BMW moves on, its driver apparently oblivious, it takes a moment for Manny’s skin to stop crawling.

  “So, you saw that, too, right?” asks the driver. The traffic light has finally changed; they speed toward FDR again. “Nobody else was staring, but you…” Her eyes meet his in the rearview.

  “Yeah,” he says. “Yeah, I saw it. I don’t… yeah.” It occurs to him, belatedly, that she might need more explanation than this, if he doesn’t want to get kicked out of the cab. “You’re not crazy. Or at least, if you are, you’re not the only one.”

  “Oh, well, that’s comforting.” She licks her lips. “Why couldn’t anyone else see it?”

  “I wish I knew.” But when she shakes her head, he feels compelled to add, “We’re going to destroy the thing that’s causing it.” He means it to reassure, but he also realizes, as he says it, that it’s true. He doesn’t let himself think further about how he knows it’s true. He doesn’t ask whom the we in his statement refers to. They’re too far into this now. If he starts doubting himself here, that will weaken the power—and, more importantly, he’ll start questioning his own sanity. Then they’re back to involuntary commitment.

  “Destroy… what?” She’s frowning as she looks at him in the rearview this time.

  He doesn’t want to admit that he doesn’t know. “Just get me to FDR, and I’ll handle it.”

  Much to his relief, she relaxes and flashes a lopsided smile over her shoulder. “Weird, but okay. The grandkids are gonna love this story. If I, you know, have grandkids.” She drives on.

  Then at last they’re on FDR, moving faster toward that vague-but-rapidly-sharpening sense of wrongness. Manny is clinging to the old-fashioned leather handle sewn into the seat back before him because she’s still doing the race-car-driver act, whipping around slower cars and cresting hills with enough speed that it feels a little like riding

  the Cyclone? what is

  a roller coaster. But they’re getting closer to the source of all the trouble. There’s a knot of small aircraft over and boats crowding along the nearby East River, all of them generally centering on something farther south. All Manny can see from here is smoke. Maybe it has to do with that bridge incident he heard about on the train? Must be; they’ve begun to pass signs warning of delays, detours, and police activity below Houston Street.

  But it’s also clear that they’re much closer to the wrongness than to the bridge disaster. Now they’re passing more cars, over on the uptown side of FDR, that seem to be infested with the weird white tendrils. Most are growing from the wheels, same as on the Beemer they saw before. It’s as if the cars have rolled over something noxious that’s allowed a kind of metaphysically opportunistic infection at the site of the damage. A few vehicles have it in their front grilles or curling up from their undercarriages. One car, a newish Beetle, has the tendrils in a spray up one door and crawling over the driver’s window. The driver doesn’t notice. What will happen if it touches her when she opens the door? Nothing good.

  Then the traffic slows sharply… and the city’s second, unseen disaster comes into range.

  His first thought is that it’s like an explosion, kind of. Imagine a fountain bursting up from the asphalt and flaring twenty or thirty feet into the sky, and wiggling. In lieu of water, the fountain flares with tendrils—dozens of them, anemoneic and enormous. Some writhe together in a way that is both mesmerizing and vaguely phallic as they tower above the roofs of the cars. Manny can tell that the root of the… growth… is located somewhere up ahead on the downtown side, probably in the fast lane, which must be how it’s getting so many cars on the uptown-going side despite the median barrier. He sees a shiny new SUV with Pennsylvania plates pass that is so covered in the tendrils that it looks like a spectral hedgehog. Good thing the driver can’t see them, or his vision would be too occluded to allow driving. But an ancient, rusty Ford Escort with missing hubcaps and peeling paint comes right behind it, and the tendrils haven’t touched it at all. What’s the pattern? He can’t begin to guess.

  This explosion of ick is what’s causing the traffic jam, Manny sees, as the flow of cars slows to a crawl and the Checker comes to a near halt. Although most people can’t see the flare of tendrils, they’re still somehow reacting to its presence. Drivers in the fast lane keep trying to pull into the middle lane to get around the thing, drivers in the middle are trying to get into the right-hand lane to get around them, and drivers in the right-hand lane aren’t budging. It’s as if there’s an invisible accident up ahead that everyone’s trying to avoid. Thank God it’s not rush hour or the traffic wouldn’t be moving at all.

  They’ve stopped for the moment, so Manny opens the rear passenger-side door to get out. A few of the cars behind them immediately set up a banshee chorus of horns, protesting even the possibili
ty that he might slow things down more, but he ignores these and leans over to speak into the window when the driver rolls it down. (She has to lean across the seat and turn a manual crank to do this. For a moment he stares in fascination, then focuses.) “You got emergency flares?” he asks. “Triangle reflectors, stuff like that?”

  “In the trunk.” She puts the car in park and gets out herself—there are more horns at this—but she’s glancing over at the tower of tendrils. Its tips wave above the pedestrian bridge that crosses this part of the FDR. “So that’s what this is all about?”

  “Yep.” Manny pulls out the emergency kit when she opens the trunk. He’s keeping most of his attention on the thing, though. If any of those tendrils come at them… well, hopefully they won’t.

  “You better hurry and do whatever you’re going to do. Cops are probably already on the way to deal with the, uh, obstruction. I don’t know if they’ll see it—nobody else seems to, or a lot more people would be getting out of their cars and walking—but they’re not gonna help much.”

  He grimaces in agreement. Then he notices the way she’s glaring at the fountain of tendrils. He has a tiny epiphany, beginning to understand. “You from here?”

  She blinks. “Yeah. Born and raised right over in Chelsea, two moms and everything. Why?”

  “Just a guess.” Manny hesitates. He’s feeling strange again. There are things happening around him, to him—a rise in tension and power and meaning, all of it pulling toward a moment of truth that he’s not sure he wants to confront. Beneath his feet there is a vibration, a pulse like wheels clacking steadily over track segments that thrums in time with his pulse. Why? Because it does. Because, somehow, everything on this road and under it and around it is him. The pain in his side is awful, but ignorable because somehow the city is keeping him functioning, feeding him strength. Even the idling of the traffic-bound cars feeds him, pent energy just waiting for its chance to leap ahead. He looks around at the drivers in the nearby cars, and sees that most are glaring at the tendril thing, too. Do they see it? Not really. But they know something is there, blocking the flow of the city, and they hate it for that alone.

 

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