“Thank you!” I tell him because he continues to help me keep my feet on the ground.
That’s what friends are for, right?
Chris
Rosie helps me grill the steaks while Carol and Brenda sit on the deck and talk.
“Uncle Chris, do you want the sprinkles yet?”
Rosie’s sprinkles are actually seasoning for the steaks but she’s so damn cute I don’t have the heart to correct her.
“It’s almost time, Rosie bug.”
Looking down at my niece, my heart is full. It always is when I spend time with her. It’s hard for me to see her when it’s soccer season, but since we have another eight weeks off, I plan to see her a lot.
“Rosie, I’m ready for the sprinkles now.”
From her chair, she hands me the bottle of seasoning. She loves to help so I let her do whatever she can. Not only does it make her feel good when she helps, but I know it’s good therapy for her as well.
“Uncle Chris?”
“Yeah, sweetie?”
I hand her back the bottle and crouch down in front of her chair. I try to get eye level with her as much as I can. And I know from the tone, she’s going to either ask me or tell me something serious.
“Are you going to marry Aunt Brenda?”
“Yes.”
Wait, what did I just say?
Rosie giggles.
I need to do damage control and fast.
“Okay, Rosie. What I just said has to be our secret, all right? Aunt Brenda doesn’t know it yet.”
Hell, I didn’t even know it.
“Right now, she and I are just friends. So, it may be a long time before I ask her. You don’t want to ruin the surprise, do you?”
Okay, so I play on her guilt and that may make me a schmuck, but it works.
Rosie shakes her head. “I promise I won’t tell her, Uncle Chris. Maybe she’ll be happy when you ask her.”
“What do you mean?”
Rosie bites her lip as if she’s trying not to say something.
“It’s fine. You can tell me.”
“Aunt Brenda smiles but she looks sad too. Is she sad, Uncle Chris?”
Jesus, this kid is killing me.
“Well, if she’s sad, perhaps it’s our job to make her happy this weekend. What do you think?”
“I think going to the zoo tomorrow would make Aunt Brenda happy.”
Tapping my finger to my chin, I agree with my niece. “Okay, zoo day it is.”
“Yes!” Rosie pumps her arm in the air.
Hopefully, she’s forgotten her question about me marrying Brenda. Though, my quick and honest answer is something I’ll never get out of my mind.
* * *
I clean up after dinner, giving my sister and Brenda some time to relax.
I can hear Rosie in the living room. She’s watching one of her shows and laughing. It’s a sound I love to hear.
But when she quiets down, Brenda’s voice comes in through the open slider door. I still as I listen to her tell Carol about the pregnancy.
I’m shocked to hear she’s opening up to my sister so quickly. My sister is as nonjudgmental as they come but fiercely protective of her family.
She asks Brenda about the baby’s father when it becomes apparent it’s not me.
Brenda is honest.
And so is my sister.
“My brother likes you a lot. I can tell. He’s never brought anyone home to meet Rosie. Me? Sure, I’ve met some of the women he’s dated. But Brenda, none have ever met Rosie. That’s a hard limit for Chris. Until you.”
I know what Carol is doing. Without coming out and asking Brenda how she feels about me, she’s warning her not to break my heart.
Needing to interrupt this little intervention, I grab a beer, ruffle Rosie’s hair, then head out to the deck to join two of the three of the most important women in my life.
Brenda looks relieved when I sit down in the lounge chair next to her. I smile to myself, knowing I can take some of the heat off her.
“Has my sister been telling you any of my embarrassing childhood stories?”
Brenda laughs. “Not yet, but I hope to hear some soon.”
I don’t know why I do it, but I reach out my hand to Brenda. It’s a ballsy move that will either give me confidence going forward, or it’ll embarrass the hell out of me in front of my sister.
Brenda
It’s a split-second decision to take Chris’s hand in mine. It’s as if something has shifted for us, but somehow, it feels right.
He rubs his thumb over mine, and I instantly relax.
Carol had me a little worked up when she mentioned he never brought a woman around Rosie before. While the thought of other women being with Chris makes me green with jealousy, the fact he still wants me, even if I’m carrying another man’s baby, makes me want to curl up in his lap and never leave.
We haven’t taken our eyes off each other since our hands joined. Getting up from her chair, Carol clears her throat. “I’m going to go give Rosie her bath and get her ready for bed. I’ll be about twenty minutes or so.”
Chris and I both smile, knowing she suddenly feels like a third wheel.
As soon as the slider door closes, we both start talking at the same time.
“Go ahead,” he says with a laugh.
“I’m having another man’s baby, Chris. What are we doing?”
Chris sits up in his chair and faces me. “Why did you give me your hand?”
“To be honest, at first I was shocked you’d do that in front of Carol. Then the thought of not touching you when you wanted me, well, that would be torture.” I roll my eyes, trying to lighten the seriousness of the moment.
“Come here,” Chris says as he lays back on the chair.
“What?”
“I want to lay with you. I have some things to tell you.”
Oh, God. I immediately want to run away, and glance at the door.
“No way, sweetheart,” Chris says, calling me out. “You aren’t running away from me here.”
“But your sister will be coming back out.”
With a shrug, Chris holds his hand back out to me. And again, I take it.
He pulls me in, nestling me between his legs. “Lean against me.”
The statement is two-fold. We both know it. His dark eyes pierce my soul. It’s as if he can see right into my heart, knowing what I want, what I need, before I do. The way I feel when Chris looks at me with such desire, it’s how every woman should feel when she’s with her man.
Leaning back, I feel his physical desire in his hardness. His mouth nestles next to my ear, making me shiver.
“Are you cold, Brenda?”
“No.”
“Does my touch make you shiver?”
Oh, damn him.
“I assume the way my body reacts to yours isn’t really what you wanted to tell me.”
Chris snickers. Even that sound goes right through me…in a good way.
Draped in between his muscular legs, I feel safe. His arms move around my body and his hands rest on my stomach.
He’s holding my baby.
I swallow the lump in my throat as my stomach does a somersault.
“Brenda, I want to tell you a story.”
“Okay,” I whisper.
“Once upon a time, there was this…hmm…fairly good-looking guy. He did pretty okay with the ladies. But he got bored, knowing he could have his choice of women when he went out.”
I sit up and turn to face him. “Chris, I don’t really think I want to hear this story.”
“Just wait, it gets really good.”
With a sigh, I lean back against his broad chest.
“So, as I was saying, the hot guy happens to run into this gorgeous—I mean, hot as hell—woman. She’s the friend of his friend’s girlfriend. We’ll call her Barbara.”
I snicker. Chris runs his fingers down the length of my arm. The sensation hits me right between my thighs.
�
�Anyway, he can’t take his eyes off her. She looks like an angel, with her long blonde hair and big blue eyes. But there’s a devil in her too.”
“Oh really?”
Chris kisses the side of my head. “Yep. Barbara likes to taunt the hot guy. I guess he needs a name too. We’ll call him Chester.”
I bark out a laugh. “So, let me get the story straight so far. This angelic woman taunts Chester? How does she do that?”
Chris wraps his fingers in with mine and continues. “Barbara likes to have sex with Chester. Like, really hot, messy, dirty sex.”
“It sounds like Chester is complaining?” I ask with an arched eyebrow Chris can’t see.
“Oh no, Chester loves it. Each time he’s with Barbara, it’s even better. In fact, he jerks off to the memories all the time.”
“Oh my God, Chris. Way to kill a romantic story.” I laugh.
“Now wait, I’m still not done. Okay, so Chester really digs this chick. And sometimes, he thinks Barbara digs him too. But every once in a while, she seems to push him away.”
“Of course we’re talking about Chester and Barbara, right?” I ask.
“Yes,” he says as he nudges me with his nose.
I squeeze his hand with mine. “Well, maybe Barbara is afraid to give in to how she feels about Chester. I mean, I’m sure she really likes him, if he’s as hot as you say he is.”
I feel a low groan come from Chris’s chest. “Back to the story. Chester wants to be with Barbara more than anything, but he’s not quite sure how to break through the wall she’s put up around herself.”
My heart lurches and the thought sobers me. I want Chris in my life, but I need time. The baby is what I need to focus on. Not to mention, I don’t know what’s going to happen once Ricky calms down.
“Barbara probably wants to let Chester into her heart but needs some time to get her life in order.”
Even before I say what comes next, I feel my heart break. “I think Barbara cares for Chester so much that she wants Chester to be with someone who can give herself to him completely.”
That’s what friends want for each other after all, right?
“Brenda, sit up,” Chris commands.
I can’t look at him. The thought of him with someone else is almost unbearable. I know I don’t have any right to claim him as mine, especially now, but damn it, I’m selfish.
Chris scoots around to face me. With my face in his hands, his eyes bore holes into my heart. My heart on the verge of being shattered and I’m afraid I can’t stop it.
“Do you want me, Brenda? Could you stand to see me with another woman at Leo and Sophia’s wedding? I want an honest answer.”
Fight or flight.
“What about the baby?” I whisper.
“This baby may not be mine, but he or she is a part of you. And I want all of you.”
Why would this man want to be with me? I don’t understand it.
I struggle to get out of the chair. But once I do, I turn to face Chris. With my hand on my stomach, I start to feel guilty. I feel guilty for wanting Chris in my life. I feel guilty for not being with the father of my baby. It’s all too much.
Suddenly the slider door opens. Carol clears her throat, announcing her presence. “Rosie wants to say goodnight to both of you. She’s in her room.”
The moment between us is broken.
“I’d like that,” I say to Carol, moving past Chris.
Carol smiles at me as if she knows I need a breather. “Her room is the first door on the left, across from the bathroom.”
I hear Chris start to come behind me but is stopped when his sister asks him to hang back.
Yep. She knows I need a minute.
Chris
“You need to give her some space, brother. You’re going to push her too hard and she’s going to run like her ass is on fire.”
Leave it to my sister to be so blunt.
I rake my hand through my hair, realizing Carol’s right.
“Shit. I blew it, didn’t I?”
My sister laughs. “No, I don’t think you blew it, but I think you were about to. Luckily for you, I came out here and saved your ass.”
Carol approaches me with the big sister look on her face. I know I’m in for a lecture, just like when I was younger.
“That woman in there is dealing with a lot of shit. She needs a friend, Chris, someone she can lean on. I know that person is you, but you want more.” Carol arches her eyebrow.
“Yeah, I do.”
“You’re in love with her…aren’t you?”
“I’m not quite sure when it happened, sis. Maybe the first night I met her. And yes, I know she’s got a lot going on, but that doesn’t mean she has to deal with it alone.”
Carol shakes her head as she comes closer to me.
“I didn’t say you shouldn’t be there for her. You should be. And for what it’s worth, I think she might love you too. I see the way she looks at you. It’s how I used to look at Kevin. It was such admiration…until he turned out to be a dick.”
It’s nice we can both laugh about her ex. There was a time when we couldn’t, but my sister is stronger for what she went through. And so is Brenda. She’s one of the strongest people I know. She just doesn’t see herself that way.
“I need to rein it in, huh?”
“Well, I did overhear Chester and Barbara’s situation,” she says with a laugh.
I shoot her a look.
“Chris, it seems to me Brenda just needs some time. Just learning she’s pregnant and the father doesn’t want to have anything to do with the baby is traumatic.”
“I don’t care if the baby is Ricky’s and not mine. I love Brenda, and I’ll love this baby too.”
“Oh, my dear brother, I know you will. That’s who you are. You have a heart the size of Alaska. But Brenda does care. So just give her some space, okay?”
I nod to my ever-wise sister and ask her for a blanket and a pillow for the sofa. As much as I want to share a bed with Brenda, I don’t want to push her any more than I have.
Brenda
I’ve read Rosie two stories while waiting for Chris to come in from the backyard. His niece keeps asking for him. I just smile and tell her he’s outside, talking to her mom.
The little girl’s hair is braided down her back and she’s wearing a princess nightgown.
As I look around the princess-themed room, my thoughts start to wander to what it must be like for her to do things we do so easily.
How does Carol deal with the frustrations they both must feel from time to time?
I think about my conversation with Chris on the way here. He explained how Carol felt guilty about Rosie’s Cerebral Palsy. Although there wasn’t anything she did wrong, I suppose it would be natural to feel that way. Chris says she’s gotten over the ill-placed guilt, perhaps because of Rosie’s optimistic attitude.
The doctors tried to reassure Carol she couldn’t have done anything to prevent what happened, and Chris said she seemed to accept it after some time. But when her husband left them, Carol fell into a deep depression.
She’s been in therapy and because of that, it’s turned her outlook around completely. Maybe I should do the same, but before I can think too much about it, a little voice brings me back.
“Are you excited to go to the zoo tomorrow, Aunt Brenda? I can’t wait to eat cotton candy and feed the giraffe. Do you want to get your face painted too?”
God, this little girl is going to make me cry a river with her sweet and gentle way.
“Of course I want my face painted. I can’t wait to see the animals. Which is your favorite?”
Before Rosie can answer, Chris scares the crap out of both of us when he roars, “The lions!”
Once my heart rhythm returns to normal, I hear Rosie giggling so bad she can’t catch her breath.
“Yes, the lions are my favorite,” she chirps as she slaps her hands together.
I watch the movement of her hands. It’s stilted bu
t at the same time perfect. Rosie is perfect in every way.
“Did I scare you?” Chris asks as he joins us on Rosie’s bed.
His niece shakes her head, while I yell, “Yes!”
This makes the little girl who’s quickly stealing my heart laugh even more.
“All right, what’s going on in here?” Carol asks, standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips.
“Mama, Uncle Chris thinks he’s a lion.”
“He does, does he? Well, perhaps the lion can read you a quick story, then it’s lights out. You know you need a lot of sleep before we go to the zoo.”
“Your mom is right, Rosie bug. I’ll read you a quick story and then it’s lights out.”
“Okay, but I want Aunt Brenda on this side and you on the other side,” Rosie demands as she points to either side of her.
Neither of us dares deny her. But as we get settled in, I can’t help but wonder if Chris would do this with my child? What would it be like to have him in his or her life? Could he take spending time with someone else’s son or daughter?
As Chris promised, the story was quick.
After we say goodnight to Rosie, Chris and I venture into the living room where I notice Carol making up the sofa.
Chris clears his throat, earning him a nod from his sister.
“Well, I’m sure you both are tired. I’m gonna go watch some TV in my room. Tomorrow will be here before we know it. Goodnight.”
She hugs me and kisses her brother on the cheek.
“Sorry about that. My sister obviously wanted to give us some time alone.”
“Chris, why is the sofa made up?”
When my question comes out, I hear the crack in my voice. Does he not want to stay in the same bed as me?
Chris rubs the back of his neck. “Brenda, let’s sit.”
“No, just tell me. It’s too much, isn’t it? Me having Ricky’s baby?”
He must sense the worry in my voice. I don’t even understand why I’m surprised. I knew this was coming.
“Brenda, please sit.”
His Runaway Goal: Book Two in the Game Winner Series Page 7