by Lyra Shanti
"Hold on," he said, taking out his phone. "Let me just get a car."
"Kay… I'm going to the bathroom. I'll be right back."
He nodded, acknowledging what she'd said while ordering the car on his app.
She needed to pee, but she also needed to get herself together. Was she really going to sleep with a guy she barely knew? She wanted him, sure, but this whole thing about similar dreams and reincarnation. It seemed nuts.
What if he just wants to role play with me? What if he fucks me, and then I never hear from him again? Would one night of sex with this guy be worth that kind of humiliation?
After flushing, Sam heard a voice in her mind. Yes, yes it would. She stood up and walked to the sink to wash her hands. Looking in the mirror, she wondered if it was Sa who answered her question.
Examining herself, she saw her boring, yet comfortable peach-colored knit top and jeans. She took a good look at her light brown hair and gray-green eyes. She always thought she was plain. She wondered if Jon saw her differently. Had she not really seen her true self?
No, he's just into this Sa guy. This is silly. I'm not sleeping with him. I can't. I'll regret it.
Having made her decision, Sam walked out of the bathroom and met Jon in the lobby.
"Good news," he said with a big smile. "The car is already outside." He offered his hand to Sam, and she took it. Then, he led her to the black car outside the restaurant, opened the door, and helped her inside.
I'll tell him no, she thought. Once we get to the hotel, I'll tell him I can't. I just have to control that stupid, needy priest in my head. No problem. I can do this.
~~
"Jon, I can't do this," she sputtered just as he was leaning in for a kiss.
"What? You can't do… what exactly?"
Sitting on the bed in his hotel room, she shifted her weight, trying to extinguish the rising flood between her thighs.
"This! I just… I'm afraid it's too soon. We barely know each other. Plus, how do I know you actually want me and not… Sa?"
Jon sighed, looking at her with his angular brow furrowed and tight. Sam thought he looked damned sexy, but she didn't want to give her thoughts away, contradicting her words.
"Look, I…" Jon began, his hand brushing back his shiny, black hair. "I really like you, Sam. A lot. And I don't know what is going on either. All I know is that I want you… badly. Please, just go with it. Let's explore whatever this thing is together. And who knows? Maybe we'll figure it out, and it'll be amazing."
Sam didn't know what to do. She wanted to believe his words, but her insecurity crept up like a paranoid cobra, ready to strike.
"What is it?" he asked. "Do you not find me attractive?"
"Ha!" she exclaimed without thinking. "Are you kidding? You're a god!"
He laughed and said, "Well, okay. Can you do me a favor then?"
"What kind of favor?" she asked skeptically.
"Kiss me."
He slowly lifted her chin, and Sam felt the world melt away. Her fears disappeared as his blue eyes bore into her, causing those familiar warm waves to return to her lower half.
Gently, his soft lips touched hers, and his strong hands stroked the sides of her neck. Soon, his tongue licked her bottom lip, and she released a moan, which made him smile.
"I didn't want to be this easy," she said as he laid her down on his bed.
"I see," he said, grinning. "You like to make things hard."
She smirked, feeling his erection against her pelvis. "You are a bad boy, Prince Charming."
"You have no idea," he said with a wily smile before engulfing Sam in a passionate, tongue-filled kiss. His hands grasped her side as he began moving his body against hers, causing her to ache and pulsate.
Desperate for him, she wrapped her legs around his waist and growled, "I need you."
"I need you too," he said in a low whisper. Sitting up, he threw off his dark blue shirt. He was about to lift off her top as well when she stopped his hands.
"Wait."
"What? Why?"
"I'm just… I don't want to disappoint you."
"What? You aren't going to disappoint me. Don't be silly.”
"I'm not exactly well-endowed."
"What makes you think I care about your breast size? I'm sure you're lovely. Sam, let me see you. Please."
Her last boyfriend always made cruel little jokes about her small chest, and it gave her a complex. She was scared, but her inner voice once again spoke. Trust him.
Nodding, she gave silent permission. Jon slowly lifted her shirt, followed by snapping off her bra. He smiled, and then leaned over, gently kissing her left nipple, while stroking the one to her right.
She sighed in ecstasy. The way Jon touched her was pure heaven.
"Don't… stop," she moaned. "Ever."
He grinned and said, "I won't stop. I promise."
A few moments later, he had stripped them both free of their clothes. Jon licked and sucked in all the right places, and Sam almost climaxed immediately. Holding it back, she grabbed his slightly larger than average phallus and said, "I need you. Now!"
He giggled and positioned himself on top of her to meet her opening. Slowly, he slid into her wetness, making her squeal with pleasure.
As they moved in unison, Sam grabbed Jon’s back and looked into his blue eyes, while he stared back at her with a penetrating gaze. His eyes alone were enough to make her burst, but his deep, slow thrusts were almost too much for her to handle.
She couldn't believe how perfectly he fit inside her walls. She'd always been on the small side, but with him, she felt like a flooded, open pool of desire. She wondered if she'd just never been with the right man before, or if it was the effects of duck and wine. Whatever it was, she felt as if she was going to explode any second, which she didn't want to do for fear it would make him do the same. She had always been so level-headed, but this time, she hadn't even thought about condoms.
What the hell is wrong with me? Okay, I'm on the pill, so I probably won't get pregnant, but I don't even know where he's been or who he's been with. This is crazy. I'm crazy! Oh my god, he feels so good. Holy shit! Oh god!
"Fuck!" she yelled as her bottom convulsed in response to her intense orgasm.
Jon erupted moments afterward, moaning and biting his lip as he grabbed her hips.
She looked up at him and saw his eyes were closed. She wondered what he felt. Reaching out, she held the side of his face.
"Are you okay?" she whispered.
"Yeah," he said, opening his eyes. "I just… never came that hard."
Unable to fully process the euphoria, Sam stared into his beautiful, blue eyes.
"Is this real? Or is it just another one of our weird, shared dreams?" she asked.
He smiled, reaching for her face. "If it is, I don't want to wake up."
Sam wanted to cry, but Jon beat her to it. She couldn't believe what she saw; he was actually shedding tears.
"You can't be real," she said, tears now dripping from her own eyes.
He moved, pushing deeper inside. "Does that feel real to you?"
Sam moaned and arched her back. As her lust for him reawakened, she no longer cared if it was real or a dream. She simply wanted him, no matter what.
Chapter 12: Reunion
T he path home was dreary and dangerous, the terrain muddy and curved, and the rain wouldn't let up. Cold and wet, Gan began to question his decision to leave the warmth of Sa’s temple.
I couldn't stay, he told himself, folding his arms to keep from shivering. If I had, I'd be turning my back on my wife and child. They did not die in vain. I must destroy whoever burned my village. If I don't, their spirits will never rest.
Gan wouldn't rest either.
As he drew nearer to the place where his village once stood, he saw a familiar face beaming upon his arrival.
“Master Li!” yelled Ji Wei, the youngest warrior from their clan. Before the surprise attack on their home, Gan had been tra
ining Ji Wei to become a scout, and he showed promise.
“I can't believe it's you!” the young man shouted. “You are alive!”
“Yes, I survived,” said Gan with a faint hint of a smile. Taking Ji Wei by the shoulder, Gan noticed the boy leaning on a walking stick. “And so did you, though you seem to be injured. Are you alright?”
“Oh, this. It's just a sprained ankle. Elder Shi says it'll heal in a few weeks. It's more important that you are alive. The clan, or what's left of it, will be so happy! Please, Master, follow me.”
Gan hated hearing how few had survived, but he took solace in knowing that his grandmother-in-law, Zhang Shi, had lived. He nodded, then followed Ji Wei, who limped and walked slowly, but seemed to know where he was going.
“Come, it's this way,” said Ji Wei, using his stick to point to the West and through the trees, away from the main path. “Everyone will be elated when we get there. They all thought you had died, especially the elders.”
Following the young man, Gan finally asked, “Ji Wei, what were you doing alone by the road?”
“Oh, I've been going out to look for berries and mushrooms, especially after the rain... when they're fresh.”
“But why were you by the main pathway?”
Ji Wei turned around to face Gan. He wore a serious expression. “To be honest… I had a strange dream.”
“What kind of dream?”
“Well, you see, Master Li, in the dream, you were dead. I saw your ghost by the road, and I knew I had to help you find peace. So, I brought you to the river, and then I played you a song on a bamboo flute. And then, finally, you were at peace. Strange dream, I know, especially since you're actually alive.” Ji Wei giggled, and then added, “I'm glad the dream led me to you, though. The gods must be watching over us after all.”
“Perhaps,” Gan softly replied. He didn't know what to think of such a dream. In a way, he did indeed feel dead. After his wife had been cruelly murdered in front of him, he barely had a reason to breathe, except for revenge. Why else would the gods want him alive?
“Tell me, Ji Wei,” said Gan as they walked through the misty forest. “Have you found the ones who burned and murdered our village?”
Ji Wei’s bright face turned sad. “No, Master. We still do not know why we were attacked. Even the elders have no insight.”
“There must be a reason. Have you confronted the Wu clan? Perhaps our old enemies are to blame. Perhaps they wanted to settle an old score.”
“I don't think so, Master. They became our allies, did they not? Back in your father’s time as leader, the Wu became friendly. Why would they attack now?”
Gan had no answer. All he knew was that he needed revenge, and soon, for his heart felt colder than the rain.
“You are my scout, Ji Wei. After you take me to the other survivors, I want you to survey all around our old village, and find out anything you can about who destroyed our clan. “
“Yes, Master,” said Ji Wei dutifully.
The moment he gave the order, Gan felt guilty. Was he really willing to send one of his only surviving clansmen into danger, and while nursing an injury?
“No, I'm sorry, Ji Wei. Forget what I said. I will look for the culprits myself. It is my duty, not yours.”
Ji Wei looked as if he wanted to respond, but had no words. Instead, he nodded as they continued walking through the trees.
After about half an hour, they came upon a rushing river. “We can drink here,” said Ji Wei. “Then, we turn east by the giant blossom tree. There is an abandoned house from long ago. That's where we are hiding.”
Gan shook his head. “We should not be hiding,” he murmured, almost to himself.
Ji Wei slowly bent down on his good leg and dipped his water bag into the river. “Here, Master, have a drink.”
Gan took a sip, then looked at Ji Wei. He'd never really given the young man much thought before the attack. But now, he saw how Ji Wei’s face was full of kindness with a sweet, childlike glow. Gan knew it was not the face of a warrior, or even a scout, but a healer.
“You should be studying medicine from Elder Shi,” said Gan, wiping the water from his chin.
“I can't do that, Master Li! I want to be a brave warrior, like you.”
Ignoring his words, Gan added, “Or perhaps a spirit guide, like your father was for my father.”
“I… but Master, I am your guide.”
Gan gave a slight smile, then nodded. “Alright, my guide, I will not fight you about it. Take me home.”
~~
Sa found no comfort in his usual, daily routine. Watering the flowers and tending to the seedlings in his garden did not bring him joy or satisfaction. Meditation and exercise gave him no release. Even music seemed to abandon his senses.
What is wrong with me? he silently asked the gods.
Taking a deep breath, he laid his flute down on a white, silk pillow. He stood and walked from his bedroom to the main prayer room. Pouring himself a cup of water he'd collected in a jug from the afternoon's downpour, he stood by the stone altar, eyeing the light rainfall through a large window from the dry safety of his temple.
He felt nothing. Empty. Vague.
After sipping the water, he looked down at his reflection in the cup. His white hair and green eyes looked at him with a vacant stare.
Without warning, a rage sparked through his entire being as he flung the cup across the room. Releasing a primal scream, Sa shivered with repressed emotion. He then dropped to his knees, tears streaming down his face.
"Why, gods?!" he yelled to an empty room. "Why am I doomed to live in solitude?!" Looking up, and then at the altar, he released another scream.
He'd never broken like this before, and it terrified him. Clutching onto the sides of arms, as if it would give him stability, he shook his head and stopped himself from shedding more tears, for he knew it was pointless. No one heard him. No one cared. He was doomed to be alone.
"Why, gods, did you bring him to me? Why give me a taste of love only to rip it from my grasp? What have I ever done to deserve this torture?"
Of course, there was no answer. There never was, not even from the white dragon, the god the temple honored.
When Sa was a child, his master had told him that the white dragon had blessed him with spiritual powers and would watch over his destiny. Sa had desperately wanted to believe his master's words. But with every passing day, he knew his master had lied. He told me what he thought a young, misplaced orphan needed to hear.
Slowly rising to his feet, Sa wiped his face with the loose arm of his white robe. Gathering his wits, he thought he heard the faint sound of someone approaching the temple, though he wasn't sure. It was rare, but he did receive visitors from time to time.
Could it be… him?
His heart thumped as he turned and walked briskly toward the front entrance.
To his disappointment, it wasn't Gan, but an old, disheveled woman.
"Do you need help, elder?" Sa asked with a slight bow.
She gave a sad smile, then replied, "I am searching for my grandson-in-law. His name is Li Gan. Have you seen him, kind priest?"
Sa swallowed back his embarrassment. "Yes… I have seen him. He was badly wounded. I tended to his wounds, and he is now heading home to his village."
"No, that is not good," she said with a worried expression.
"Why?" he asked.
"Because the fox is waiting for him.”
"What fox?"
"The one he trusts. We have been betrayed by the fox!"
Swaying on her feet, she seemed like she would fall over at any second. Sa quickly decided to help her inside.
The elderly woman wasn't making any sense. He assumed she'd been through the same ordeal as Gan, though obviously not as a fighter.
As he sat her down on a pillow, he looked for signs of burns or other injuries. He couldn't find any, but he had a feeling she had gone through a terrible event, and her invisible wounds went deep.
> "You are a good soul," she said with a dazed smile. "You helped my grandson to live. The gods will reward you."
Sa gave a smile in return, though his thoughts turned dark. The gods left me long ago, he silently replied.
~~
"Where is Yue Mu Shi?" Gan asked, trying his best to hide the panic growing in his heart. His grandmother-in-law was the only remnant left from his wife, and he refused to believe she was gone.