by Maribel Fox
And yet…
My heart is heavy. She is everything I didn’t think one woman could be, but she is also out of reach.
Far out of reach.
I am happy for Miles and Callie. Overjoyed for their happiness. But that joy does not erase the jealousy brewing deep inside. I don’t wish to be jealous, but how can I not be when he’s holding her hand? When he’s the one reassuring her?
Before my accident, I had many lovers. Mostly women. They passed the time, alleviated my boredom. None were like Callie.
None inspired a longing in me like that of the sea.
In Callie’s eyes, I see the fathomless blue depths. When she speaks, I hear the welcoming call of waves on the shore.
In Callie, I feel a kindred spirit. Another who wouldn’t think twice before grabbing the helm to carve through swells with no destination in mind.
I would love to be the wind in her sails.
Alas, it’s not meant to be.
I’m not a man. I’m not anything. Certainly not someone capable of romantic involvement.
All this time, I’ve done everything I can to shove aside the feelings blooming for her. I’ve tried to ignore the attraction, tried to tell myself it was nothing.
Today’s proved me a fool. At the pub, surrounded by other beautiful, capable women, Callie was still the only one who drew my eye. The others all paled in comparison to her.
Callie’s defeated her enemies for the day, but I doubt they’ll give up so easily.
I don’t know who will accomplish it first, but it seems it’s only a matter of time before this portal opens up again.
And then what happens to me? I am somehow connected to these stones, to the power within them. If the portal starts up, will I disappear? Finally move onto the next plane, whatever that is?
I suppose if I haven’t found my happiness with all the extra centuries to aid me, what use is there hoping it’ll happen yet?
Perhaps it’s time. Perhaps I’ve held on too long.
I know I shouldn’t get attached to these two, but it’s too late. Callie is the woman of my dreams, Miles the brother I never had. The thought of the portal opening up and erasing me from this plane doesn’t sit well with me. But it could equally be the key to restoring my body, something I hardly dare hope for.
As the skies clear and victims of Callie’s storm start to wade ashore, the group gather on the beach, waves still rough on the rocks.
“That was awesome,” Ava says, wrapping Callie in a hug, ignoring the fact that Callie is in her undergarments — a fact I myself have been trying to ignore to no avail. “I knew having a siren on the team would be good,” she adds, elbowing the blond man next to her.
He shrugs. “I never doubted. My doubts are with the ghost.”
“Speaking of… Did anyone bring him along?” Ava asks, forehead creasing.
“Like American Express, never leave home without him,” Miles says, pulling one of my rocks from his pocket.
“Weren’t you just ranting the other day about the evils of credit card companies and how you’ll never support them?” Callie asks, lips curving into a playful smirk.
Miles’ arm tightens around her waist, fingers digging into her hip. “It’s a saying—”
“Yeah, I know, but wouldn’t it make more sense if you said something you actually don’t ever leave home without?”
“Like what?” he asks, sounding amused now.
“Like… Boat…keys?” she tries, nose wrinkling, showing off the freckles sprinkled over her face.
“Sure. Like boat keys, never leave home without it. Definitely has the same ring to it,” he teases, earning a shove from her.
“You don’t have to be a jerk about it,” she huffs, smiling in spite of herself.
It’s sweet. I’m happy for them. Really.
Am I jealous that he can have his arm around her? That she can playfully shove him? That they end up embracing?
Only because I can’t join.
“Is it just me or are we expecting them to regroup and come back?” Lili asks, impatient. She seems always impatient.
“Yeah, I don’t think a storm’s going to keep them away for long,” Ava agrees.
“Guess we should come up with some game plan to hinder their progress,” Callie adds, hesitation evident in her voice.
The hesitation causes the other two girls to exchange a look, Ava being the one to shake her head.
“Tomorrow,” she says. “Enjoy the lull. It won’t last long. Ask me how I know,” she adds with a sideways grin.
Callie’s slow to smile, but finally does, accepting another hug when Ava offers it.
“Are you sure?”
“Take the break while you can,” Lili encourages.
Miles takes Callie’s hand in his and tugs. “What do you say? Wanna come back to my place? I think the weather might finally be a little more normal.”
Pressure from all directions, Callie can’t say no. I don’t think she wants to. She’s blushing while Miles pulls her away.
I’m finally back on the beach where I’ve wanted to be. Free from Miles. I could hop to another shard from here, there are plenty more washed ashore by Callie’s storm. Yet I stay with him. Of all the people I could go with on this beach — or the option to stay alone — these are the people I want to be with.
The fact that Miles tucks his rock back in his pocket instead of tossing it on the beach is all the confirmation I need that I’m not an intruder when I follow.
They head directly back to Miles’ dinghy and are hardly past the door when Callie’s flinging herself on Miles, his enthusiasm matching her fervor.
I’ve never been a voyeur, but it is difficult to look away, the beauty of their bodies being bared, coming together. It is perhaps one of the aspects of my humanity I miss the most. That connection, however brief.
Miles has one hand on Callie’s firm bottom, one palming her breast as he kisses her, her back arching, soft whimpering moans escaping her lips.
“I feel obligated to mention there’s a very high likelihood we’re not alone in here,” Miles says suddenly, Callie’s eyes fluttering open, struggling to focus past the haze of lust.
“What?”
“Henri,” Miles says. “He was missing last time, but…”
Callie catches on quick. She always does. She draws her teeth over her bottom lip, eyes roving around the interior of the houseboat curiously.
“Must be pretty sad, don’t you think?” she asks.
Miles frowns.
“Being trapped, I mean. Not being able to interact with anyone or even go anywhere without one of those shards…” Her eyes trace the stone Miles left on the table and I feel that gaze like a jolt of electricity through me.
“I imagine it’s pretty sad, yeah,” Miles agrees.
“I think if I was in his position, I might want to live vicariously through someone…”
“Yeah?” Miles asks, thumb sliding across her erect nipple, making her eyes flutter. I can’t blame him for getting distracted with this goddess in the palm of his hand.
“Yeah,” she whispers, so softly I barely hear. “I don’t… I don’t think I mind him watching,” she says, face blazing, embarrassment flushing through her whole body.
Miles growls into her neck, his hand making her gasp. I pray he’ll do it again.
“You like the idea, don’t you?” he accuses, the hand from her bottom sliding around her front, between her legs. “You like it a lot.”
Callie groans, sinking into him, her eyes fluttering closed.
“Is that so bad?” she murmurs, one of her own hands coming up to pinch her free nipple.
Miles growls again, this time sucking her nipple between his lips, pulling it taut until she sucks in a sharp breath.
“Hell no. Anything that makes you this damn wet is fine by me. Enjoy the fucking show, buddy,” he answers, pressing into her with one fluid motion.
I’ve witnessed many things in my years since the crash,
but this is the closest I’ve felt to alive again. The closest I’ve felt to being a real person. Callie isn’t wrong about living vicariously, and it’s more than that.
I’m not an inconvenience here. I’m not a nuisance or forgotten altogether. It’s as close to involved as I can possibly be, and I swear when Callie comes, she locks eyes with me.
Epilogue
Miles - A few weeks later
The sun is up, the sky is blue, cloudless, picture-perfect like I haven’t seen it maybe ever. The Oregon Coast isn’t exactly known for this kind of weather, but with Callie in such a better mood lately, there haven’t been any storms to speak of. The roads are finally drying up, plants unfurling, animals happy to come out from hiding in their shelters.
Lupine Bay was no match for Callie’s anger. I’m not sure anyone could be.
But when she’s happy?
“Got another one!” she announces, surfacing with a shiny blue stone, hair copper in the light. Grinning from ear-to-ear, she’s the most gorgeous woman on the planet. There’s no one that could convince me otherwise.
And she’s mine.
“Oh nice, that’s a big one,” I say, taking her find and adding it to the boat.
Callie snorts.
“What?”
“With any other guy on the planet, that would’ve been followed by a ‘that’s what she said.’”
“Should I apologize for being more mature than my six-year-old nephews?”
“Maybe,” she teases, treading water like a champ.
Ever since the weather cleared up — and we realized the extent of Callie’s powers — she’s been doing these free dives with me. Neither of us needs the protection of a suit, but Callie’s still nervous under the water sometimes. She’s getting there. And I’m going to be here to help her every step of the way.
“A little double entendre never hurt anyone,” she teases, swimming over with a smirk, her eyes sparkling with the mischief that never seems to go anywhere these days.
“How’s this one? We need to go deeper.”
Callie snorts, wrinkles her nose, and splashes me without ever moving. She’s getting good at that, manipulating the waves with just a little thought.
“Keep working on it,” she laughs, slipping beneath the surface.
I follow right behind her, eyes glued to the glowing beacons of her ivory legs under the water.
It’s not that I’m not thinking about sex all the time around her. I’m worse now than I was when I was sixteen, but we’ve got work to do.
After the storm that ripped apart their boat, Callie’s old team went back to Bembridge University to raise more funds. Even a well-funded department doesn’t have money to throw at another brand-new research boat. Especially when the department head is being very cagey about what she’s looking for.
Callie’s still in touch with a few people back at the school who’ve kept her updated on all the progress. Vanessa hasn’t given up on getting back here to stand in our way, steal our thunder, open the portal — whatever she’s looking to do — but she won’t be back for a while. Callie’s whirlpool made sure of that.
In the meantime, we’re doing everything we can to get a head start. We’ve been out here diving just about every day, looking for shards, documenting what we can about their locations and the patterns between them. Still can’t take any pictures, but Cal thinks that has to do with the electrical energy coming out of the rocks. I don’t know. She’s the genius of the two of us.
I’m still not sure what we’re going to do with all this information. I know it’s stressing her out, so I haven’t pressed her about it. I think the main plan right now is to gather as many pieces as we can to try to refit the broken stone together. After that? Who knows.
The thought of opening up a portal in the bay seems insane.
Is it though? Everything’s already here. That means this bay is supposed to have something like this portal operating in it, right? It was here long before the settlers were. That’s got to mean something.
I think.
Ultimately, I’m really glad this isn’t my puzzle to solve. I’m happy to support Callie in every way I can, but I’m thrilled the actual answer is going to come down to her. I trust her to make the right choice.
Hell, I’m pretty sure I trust her for just about anything.
She stops short before a dark crevasse we’ve been working our way around while edging closer. As much as Callie’s progressed with diving, with being in the water and not being paralyzed by fear, I see it all bubbling to the surface in her face now.
That dark crack in the bay’s floor is scary and unknown. She’s frozen with fear, unable to go any closer, so I swim around to come face-to-face with her. With no words at our disposal, I have to convey purely with expression that she’s stronger than she thinks, that she’s capable of amazing things.
Callie’s face doesn’t change, mouth drawn tight. She shakes her head, glancing up at the surface glittering with sunlight.
I offer her my hand, the only thing I ever feel I have to offer her. But same as always, Callie takes it, she squeezes, and then together we descend into the dark.
Her grip tightens on my hand as the light from above disappears, and my heart tightens, wondering if I’ve brought her too far. Should I have done this part alone? Am I pushing her too much?
My eyes adjust to the lack of light, and it’s soon obvious that there is no lack of light. The whole floor is glittering with tiny blue shards that’ve found their way down here through currents.
Callie squeezes my hand three times rapidly: oh my god.
There’s no way we can take all of this at once, so we both gather what samples we have containers for, most of the slivers too small to hold on their own, and I tug her back up, too dark still for hand signals to be seen.
“Holy shit!” she cries the moment we burst through the surface. “Did you have any idea that was down there?”
“Not a clue,” I admit. The crevasse itself is something I don’t remember seeing before. I have a suspicion it was uncovered by her storm, but anytime I bring up just how insanely badass Callie’s display was, she quickly moves to change the subject and deflect.
Without a word, she’s already climbing up on the deck of the boat, making a beeline for the navigation table, drawing a big circle on the map where we are.
Dripping wet, in a bikini that shows off her amazing body, her brow furrowed in serious thought — yep, this is my woman.
I still can’t believe it. After all these years being sure that me being a selkie would chase her off. Or that it would mean I’m doomed — there’s not a lot I know about selkies but dipping back into the research again these past couple weeks has confirmed that it’s probably not going to be a good time. Selkies are generally the subjects of love stories. Tragic love stories. Men controlled by women until they find their skin that gives them freedom and compels them to flee to the ocean…
The skin thing is weird. A selkie’s sealskin is like a part of them, but from what I can tell, it’s a part of me I don’t really want. If I have it, it seems like I’ll just be unable to resist the call of the ocean. I’ll just disappear into the waves. If someone else has it, they control me.
Neither option is particularly desirable.
Sirens aren’t a whole lot better from what we’ve learned. They’re generally the monsters in their stories. So what does that mean for the two of us? Callie’s not a monster and I don’t have my skin. I’m not sure either of us are fully what we’re meant to be, but maybe that’s for the best. Living life as a human seems way simpler.
Well, a human with a ghost roommate.
From the wheel, I can see Henri on the shore, Nora and Ian nearby, the weird dog playing with the two of them.
As much as he pisses me off, I can’t imagine going back to life without Henri. He’s part of the crew, even when he tries to make a move on Callie.
To be honest, I reap the benefits of that. He’s the one good at
the entendres. He gets her all hot and bothered and then the fireworks start. It’s a partnership I didn’t expect to enjoy nearly as much as I do, but I think a lot of that has to do with how much Callie’s enjoying herself.
One of these days, she’s going to stop keeping up the pretense of having a room at Brigid’s and just come stay with me full-time.
I don’t think she’s slept in her bed since the storm. No complaints here, but she’s wasting her money paying for that room. She finally pawned the ring Trenton gave her, so she’s got funds for a little while longer even without a job, but I know that won’t last forever.
I’d offer my place to her, but I think this is one of those things that’ll need to be Callie’s idea.
While Callie’s poring over the map, I lean against the railing, enjoying the sunshine, the gentle lull of the waves, the distant cries of gulls, screeching.
Man, the gulls are really vocal today.
No, wait.
I turn toward the shore, eyes narrowed. Not gulls. Kids. Kids shouting out to the water, trying to get our attention.
“Hey Cal? I think we’re wanted on shore.” Nora’s at the dock, waving her arms, braids flying behind her when she jumps up and down.
Callie frowns, squinting, then shrugs. “Probably about time to head in anyway.”
“Right you are. As usual,” I add with a little grin. She smirks, but doesn’t look my way as I take the helm, raise anchor, and start moving us in.
Closer to the dock, I see why Nora’s called us in, and my stomach sinks.
Brian.
Callie hasn’t seen him yet, but I’m sure his appearance isn’t going to be something she jumps up and down for. And he hates me, so this will be fun.
She finally looks up from her work while I’m securing us to the dock.
“What’s he— Oh hell,” she mutters, looking like she wants to hide.
“I don’t know what he wants, but he’s not going away,” I say, offering my hand.
Callie takes a deep breath, side-eying the dock.
“Shit,” she grumbles, taking my hand reluctantly. She squeezes, then releases with a frown. “Let me talk to him.”