by Lauren Smith
“If I were to marry Emma and stop her learning, the world would be a much poorer place for it. She really is quite intelligent.” The maid returned to ask if he wanted breakfast and he nodded. “I can’t imagine she would be satisfied with domesticity.”
“Then she may not make a suitable wife for an earl, I’m afraid. You’re looking for someone who can compromise and do the work that’s beneath you but above the servants.” Elizabeth sighed. “I’m sorry to disappoint you, darling, but it’s imperative that you find someone closer to your needs rather than your wants.”
“I think I know what I need and what I don’t,” Thomas said petulantly and his mother set her cup down a little more heavily that he expected.
“You may think you do, but you’re still young. I wish your father was still around to teach you how to behave properly.”
“I’m glad the old bastard’s not around.” Thomas muttered it under his breath. Elizabeth didn’t seem to hear it, as she was lost in her memories and continued to chat. Sometimes holding back what he’d known about his father was difficult, to say the least, and he knew that if he blurted out his father’s secrets and lies, it might send her into a depression that he couldn’t pull her out of. Thomas loved his mother too much to let that happen to her.
While she talked, he thought about Emma. Medical science seemed to interest her immensely and if they were to marry, he resolved never to tell her to give it up. If she decided to be a scholar or nurse, he would indulge her with every fiber of his being.
As far as he was concerned, Emma would make a fantastic scientist. Whether she was going to study medical matters or invent some new thing, he imagined she needed someone who was going to encourage her. It put a smile on his face to imagine her in his estate house, using his father’s old office to his mother’s horror, and working on some sort of medical contraption. Then he remembered his highwayman duties and the happy scene with Emma disappeared. He couldn’t get married and risk her, or anyone, finding out about it.
Thomas ate his breakfast quietly, letting his mother talk but not hearing a word of it. He nodded along and made a few noises to indicate he was listening, but in his head he was thinking about Emma and cursing his father. If it weren’t for him, he wouldn’t have to sit along the highways at night waiting for someone to pass and hoping they were rich so he could get a few more minutes’ sleep. Though he felt in his heart that his father had treated his mother very poorly, he would never tell her that or anything else about the man, and he would let her believe her husband had loved her and was as faithful to her as she had been to him.
“If you don’t mind, Mother, I’m going to go out and send a letter or two home while I’m thinking about it. Then I’ll come back and rest until the ball. Is there anything I can get for you?” The maid, overhearing them, came in immediately and scooped up Thomas’ dishes while he stood up. He smiled at her. “Thank you, Mary.”
“You’re quite welcome, my lord.” She disappeared with the dishes and Thomas nodded to her. Then he went back to his room to dress.
He was always impressed with the quality of work of their servants, though he now had a better understanding of why they were so attentive. His mother’s hand was kind, and since she was the one in charge of them they’d always been well-cared for. Thomas had known this most of his life, but until his father died he hadn’t known just how poorly they were being paid. Increasing their pay would be a rise in expenses his mother would notice, and he would have to explain how his father was working them for wages that left them just shy of being paupers if they had any family at all.
Taking better care of the servants was another reason he couldn’t give up being a highwayman. He wanted a better life for George and the others, and without money he didn’t have to explain to his mother he couldn’t do that. As much as he’d come to enjoy seeing and talking to Emma, as well as her sisters, getting to know her too deeply was something he wouldn’t be able to do. He wished he could quit torturing himself – hoping to have a future with her, then pulling himself away in his mind. Thomas hoped the Everly Ball would go well, but at the same time it would be hard to see her again without knowing that they could never be more than dancing partners.
Dressing smartly, even for the short time he would be out, was a point of pride for Thomas so he looked his best when he put on his coat and went to the door. Perhaps he would go by the book shop when he was out, just in case Emma might be there. It didn’t hurt to look, not at all.
Chapter 11
Much to Emma’s delight, her ankle felt as if it was in perfect order for the ball. She would be able to dance all night with Thomas or anyone else that caught her fancy, though she wondered if she might be less vigorous than usual since she hadn’t done much for the past two weeks. At the Opening Ball Thomas had been kind enough to help give her breaks with his silly story about his boots being ill-fitting, but it was a thing that could only be done once. Still, if he was willing to sit with her and take care of her in a way, it was just more proof of how kind he was.
She put on the soft rose-colored dress she’d bought just before the Season began, admiring herself in the mirror and looking at all the details, such as the velvet ribbon around the waistline and the sweet puffed sleeves that were the perfect length to accompany her white kid gloves. Her slippers matched perfectly and Frances had put her hair back in an elaborate twist that made the whole thing perfect, tucking a few fresh flowers in her hair as the crowning touch. Emma couldn’t wait to get to the ball and see Thomas, contrary to the way she had stormed out of the book shop.
“Sister, are you ready? Our carriage is waiting!” It sounded like Katherine was halfway down the stairs already and she took her dress coat from the closet and put it on before she hurried out of her room and joined her. “Are you excited? You get to see Lord Belmont tonight!”
“I must admit, I’m looking forward to seeing him.” They walked down the stairs together. “At least I know that if my ankle gives out again I won’t have to worry about crawling home.”
They met Frances and Henry at the door and the foursome went out into the cold together, huddling together to keep warm, and pressed against one another when they were in the carriage hoping that the driver would go quickly.
When they arrived at the ball, Emma’s eyes swept over the room in search of Thomas. When she didn’t see him, she walked with her sisters and brother-in-law to an open table and sat down. Katherine remained standing and looked over the men.
“Who are you looking for?” Frances tried to follow her eyes but failed.
“No one in particular. Just the man who’s going to be my first dance.” Just as she spoke, the orchestra changed songs and a young man in a brightly colored outfit came to her and held out a hand.
“Would you dance with me, Miss?”
“Of course!” Katherine followed him, waving to her sisters. “Have a good evening, Emma!” She turned to her dance partner and immediately started chatting with him as if they’d known one another for years. Emma envied her ability to be so chipper all the time. She supposed things would be much easier if she was more like Katherine.
“Excuse me, Miss,” a voice behind Emma said. “Would you be the lovely Miss Emma Sellars?” At the mention of her name, she turned to find Thomas standing behind her. He looked exceedingly handsome in his black trousers and boots, black jacket and a quilted peacock blue waistcoat. His dark hair was slightly mussed from the wind but it made him look rugged rather than sloppy, and Emma’s heart sped up, sending a blush into her cheeks.
“Lord Belmont,” she said with a smile. “What a pleasure to see you here. Have you come to collect your dance?”
“I have. I’ve been looking forward to it for some time now.” He offered his hand and she took it, then let him lead her to the dancing floor. Once they were alone together, he grinned. “I hope we’re not going to be so formal all night.”
“You prefer to speak with a bit more familiarity, then? All right, then
we shall talk as if we are old friends.” Emma smiled. “How have you been? I must apologize for my behavior at the book shop.” This was a first for Emma; she didn’t make a habit of saying she was sorry. Something about Thomas made her want to apologize, so he didn’t think she was as much trouble as usual.
“No, no, it was my fault. But let’s just forget the whole thing. I’ve been thinking about our dance all day.” He moved in a little closer. “I’ve also been looking forward to getting to know you a bit better. You’re an interesting woman, Emma.”
“Interesting?”
“You don’t seem concerned with what people think about you. Society can be cruel, especially when the ton come together. Don’t you worry about what they’re whispering about you over their tea?” He was still smiling and she shook her head.
“Not in the least. Perhaps my sisters would, but I’m already the odd one in my family. Why should I care what people say about me over their biscuits and scandalbroth?” Emma stepped back and Thomas spun her very gently.
“That’s what makes you interesting.” He pulled her back to him. “I like interesting.” His words made her blush and she was speechless through the rest of the song.
They danced together for a good while, then went to the table Henry and Frances had claimed and sat down to rest and have something to drink. Thomas picked up two glasses of wine and handed one to Emma.
“Thank you, sir.” She sipped the wine and looked over at him. “I’d like to know more about you. Where are you from?”
“You get right to the point, don’t you?” Thomas laughed. “All right, then. I’m from Kent. That’s where my house and my father’s estate is. Have you ever been?”
“We’ve passed by it on the way to the shore a few times,” Emma said, “but I’ve never been into the town proper. We spend most of our time in London. Father has things imported for us, though, and sometimes they’re a bit exotic.”
“Would one of those things be floral oils?”
“Why yes,” Emma said, sounding surprised. “Father had some floral oils brought from the east – China, perhaps – and my sisters and I divided them up for Christmas. One of the ones I chose was jasmine, and I used some this evening.”
“I can tell. You smell lovely.” Once again his words turned her face the color of a new strawberry and she knew he could see it. “Now a question for you. What are those enormous books you carry around? They look heavy.”
This was an interesting question to Emma. No one was ever interested in her books, much less a noble. At the risk of turning their conversation cold, she smiled while she considered what to tell him. The truth seemed the best option. Even if she lied, he would find out sometime and might not want to associate with her for the rest of the season. The truth it is, she thought.
“Well, you see, I’m studying medicine,” Emma said proudly. “I’ve an anatomy text at home from the library and the medical text my sister brought me the day you saw her. I’m studying so that I can become a doctor.” She was smiling brightly at him, and half expected him to tell her what a noble calling it was. Instead he frowned slightly.
“A doctor? Do they have women doctors now? I’m fairly certain they’re not admitted to the medical college.” He was still smiling but Emma’s temper flared. If there was one thing she hated, it was being told she couldn’t do something.
“Perhaps not now, but there’s nothing saying I couldn’t be the first,” she snapped. “Why must everyone take the time to tell me what I can’t do instead of giving me a damned chance to prove what I can do?” A few heads turned her way to see which young lady had such a foul mouth but she didn’t pay attention to them.
“My, my,” Thomas said, shaking his head with a grin. “I suppose they also teach you to curse in those medical books?” There was something maddening about his words and she fought the urge to push his chair over. “I’ve never known a bluestocking before but you’re quite the specimen.”
“You---”
“Pardon me, my good lady,” a young man with curly blond hair said, interrupting them, “would you do me the honor of giving me your next dance?”
“I shall,” Emma said, pushing herself up from her chair with her eyes narrowed at Thomas. “You seem a gentleman and I could use such company.” She expected Thomas to make some sort of comment but she didn’t expect him to start laughing.
“Go then, but only because I don’t wish to be rude to this unsuspecting young fellow. You will return her to me when you’re done, won’t you?” It was said in a jovial tone but the curly-haired young man looked nervous.
“Forgive me, I didn’t know she was your partner.”
“Not at all. We’d been dancing but I haven’t formally asked for more than one dance tonight.” He looked at Emma with a grin. “Please go, Miss Sellars, and enjoy yourself.”
“I shall enjoy being free of you for the length of a dance for certain!” She took the young man’s arm and flounced toward the dancing floor, leaving the blond looking back at Thomas as if for help. Emma heard Thomas burst into laughter again and her face flushed. If that was how the man was going to be he could keep his dances to himself.
Unfortunately for Emma, the young man who introduced himself as Miles wasn’t much of a dancer. He was passable, and they spent a nice few minutes discussing the fact that he shared a name with her nephew, but she was relieved when they bowed to one another and were able to go their separate ways.
Thomas was still sitting at the same table enjoying his brandy when she returned, her attitude as cold as she could muster. Annoyed though she was with him, he was a much better dancer and she’d come to the ball to have fun just as much as she had to see him. When he saw her, he stood up and pulled out a chair for her.
“Welcome back, Miss Sellars. I do hope you had an enjoyable time.”
“I did. The young man couldn’t dance but at least he was pleasant to talk to.” She folded her arms over her chest, then realized that it pushed her bosom nearly out of the dress and moved her hands to her hips instead.
“Well, for my part I have been sitting here missing you terribly and have realized the error of my ways. Would you forgive me and grant me the pleasure of dancing with you?” He offered a gloved hand and Emma looked between him and the chair, then took his hand instead.
“As long as you’re sorry, I suppose we can dance.”
They went to the dancing floor in time to start a slower dance, and Emma got as close to him as propriety would allow. Irritating or not, he drew her just the same and she wanted to fall into his arms as she had when her ankle gave out.
“Thank you for giving me a second chance,” Thomas said, raising an eyebrow. “I thought perhaps your new young man would steal the rest of the night from me.” Before Emma could reply, he smiled. “I’m only joking. I do want to tell you that I think your goal is an admirable one.”
“Oh?” Emma was suspicious of his words. No one but her sisters had ever complimented her about her study, and he’d already poked fun at her about it that evening.
“I do. I too like to help people whenever I can. There are so many unfortunate people in the world, I wish I could help them all.” They stepped together in time and Emma’s defenses slowly dropped. “I’m considering setting up a charity with my father’s money.”
“You are? What sort of charity?” This was definitely interesting to Emma. She was halfway convinced that the nobility spent their days trying to think of things to buy rather than take care of others but she’d never known a member of their kind until now.
“One for sick children. A childhood friend of mine has a son that’s ill and no wife or governess to help him care for the boy.” Thomas shook his head. “He’s a good man whose luck has just been bad, and his son shouldn’t suffer for it.”
“Your goal seems much more admirable than mine,” Emma said, impressed. “I should like to hear more about your plans.”
“Truly?” He seemed surprised when Emma nodded, and she smiled
encouragingly. She’d never wanted to encourage a man before but this one was different. “Well, then. I’d start small, working with local doctors to identify needy families…”
They spent a good rest of the evening talking of plans for the future rather than their lives, and Emma couldn’t help wondering what sort of things they might accomplish together. She wanted to make a quip about having a future with her, but she kept it back. A man might not find it as funny as she did, and she might even scare him away. Instead they danced and talked, then sat down every now and again to talk and laugh some more.
By the end of the ball, Emma didn’t want to go home. She looked around the ballroom and found Katherine still dancing with the same young man who had asked for her hand an hour or more earlier. Before that she’d been flitting around the room like a butterfly with a different man each dance. This time when the music ended, she truly seemed sorry to clap for the orchestra and part with him.
“I suppose I should be going home,” Emma said, taking another sweep of the ballroom to try and find Frances and Henry. “My little sister looks exhausted.” They walked over to Katherine, who did look as if she could fall asleep on her feet but was somehow still radiant with pink cheeks and sparkling blue eyes. “Hello, dearest. Did you have a good time?”
“The best!” Katherine smiled at Thomas, then her sister. “Frances and Henry went home already but the driver was bringing the carriage back for us.”
“Wonderful,” Thomas said. “I shall walk you and your sister out to your carriage if it pleases you.” Emma nodded and he walked with her, a little ways behind Katherine. “I had quite a lovely time this evening and I’ll wager you did as well.”