by JJ King
Love. The word tasted foreign on her tongue, as if she’d known it once, long ago, but hadn’t heard it or felt it in a lifetime.
No, she thought, that wasn’t right. She knew love. An image of two women, beautiful and happy, swam to the surface of her mind. She reached for the memory, trying to grasp it, but it kept slipping away from her.
Then there was darkness. Like a fog, moving around the memory, drowning it in shadows and dragging it down to where she was, huddled and confused in the dark. She watched in horror as the women changed, as their hair, so long and beautiful, became hissing, furious snakes, and their smiles faltered. She reached a hand to her head and let her snakes twine themselves through her fingers.
Like her. They were like her.
Sisters.
The memory sharpened, coming into focus. She watched the darkness recede and the women find happiness again. Her fists relaxed.
“Em,” the man pleaded, “look at me. Remember me.” He reached into his shirt and pulled out a necklace that glinted, even in the dark cavern. She saw it clearly with her unnatural eyes.
At the end of a long piece of worn leather, a shard of abalone shell, smoothed at the edges, glimmered with all the beauty of the ocean. She sucked in a breath and leaned forward, wanting to touch it. It made her chest ache.
“You made this for me,” he murmured, so quietly she inched forward to hear him better. The shell called to her, she could almost feel the warmth of it on her fingertips as she carefully worked a needle through the shell so she could thread the necklace through. The smell of leather drifted to her nose, a memory of a moment when she’d felt nothing but love.
“Poseidon,” the name came out like a gasp for water through parched lips.
His face lit up, sending her heart skittering in her chest. Emotion flooded her, too quickly, too fully to comprehend. She grasped her chest and sucked in shallow gasps. Slowly, with each breath, the haze cleared and she remembered.
She knew that face. She’d touched that face, kissed those lips, been kissed by those lips. Heat coiled in her stomach and spread out, warming her chilled skin. Memories of his hands on her body surfaced, followed by a shiver of awareness. She knew him.
She’d love him. That’s what he’d said, wasn’t it? That she’d loved him. Her heart skipped a beat at the thought and a dart of pain sliced her nearly in two. She doubled over at the waist and cried out.
He was by her side in an instant, pulling her into him, cradling her while she struggled and lashed out, still too overwhelmed to control herself. Her mind was clearer now, she didn’t want to destroy him, she just wanted to know why it hurt so much to think of loving him.
“Shhh,” he pressed his lips against her temple while her snakes slithered around his face, exploring him, testing him. “You can trust me,” he whispered, “I promise.”
Her thundering heartbeat slowed gradually and with each deep inhalation, the fog cleared from her mind. Tears gathered and fell from her eyes, coating her cheeks with grief that seemed as if it would never end.
He’d left her. She remembered now. She’d loved him with everything she was and he’d left her alone and afraid when she’d become a monster. Em stilled in his embrace and felt the pain of being abandoned all over again. It was crippling. She pulled her legs into her chest and wrapped her arms around them, closing herself off in a tight ball of grief. She’d spent weeks like this, she remembered now. Weeks unable to inhale fully, to taste food, to sleep at night because every time she closed her eyes, she’d see her reflection in the mirror. She was her own worst nightmare, a living, breathing monster.
“I’m here,” he crooned softly, never moving his lips from her head. She felt the vibration of his words through her skull, seeping into her brain, trickling down to her heart. “I’ll never leave you again.”
Em’s soul leapt at that simple promise. Try as she might, she couldn’t fight back the truth of her feelings for him. Whatever mankind and the gods thought of love, however fleeting they assumed it to be, she knew better. True love, the kind you’d die for, was eternal. She was living proof of that. She’d been abandoned in her time of desperate need and still she loved.
Em closed her eyes and thought back to the images she’d seen of her sisters, Thea and Eury. They’d stood by her side through everything, despite her role in their curse. She loved them with everything she was and one of them, Eury, was dying. Em blinked away the last of the confusion that had overwhelmed her and unfurled from Poseidon’s arms. “We need to get going.” She climbed free of his embrace and rose to her feet.
“Wait.” Poseidon’s arm shot out and pulled her back. “What was that? What just happened here?” His eyebrows pulled down sharply as he stared intently at her.
She wished whatever spell had attacked her had left her with no memory of her behavior, but that obviously wasn’t the case. She shrugged, “A curse, I guess. Something to turn me into the monster everyone thinks I am.”
Poseidon pulled back in shock. “That’s what everyone thinks you are?”
Her own shock was palpable. “Uh, yeah. That’s what the entire world thinks I am.” Em arched a brow at him and wondered how the hell he’d never read a mythology book or watched a movie where she was the main villainess, soon conquered by the heroic Perseus. Her reputation preceded her everywhere. She just hadn’t expected it to be used against her like this. She should have, Em silently admonished herself. She should have been prepared for anything. Witches were slippery foes. Her dislike for Hecate intensified ten-fold. “Let’s just get this over with so we can get back to Eury with a cure.” She shrugged out of his grasp.
The moment she left his arms, a wave of bright red fury, so strong it made her break out in a sweat, swept through her, knocking her back into his lap. Stunned, Em froze and swiveled to gaze, wide-eyed at Poseidon whose eyebrows knit together in question.
“It came back,” Em said in a breathy voice, barely able to hold back the tears of frustration that wanted to spill down her cheeks. “The anger,” she swallowed, remembering the bitter taste of it, “it came back the second I wasn’t touching you.”
“Then don’t stop touching me,” Poseidon whispered the words and reached for her hand, stopping an inch away. “Let me be your anchor.”
Em slipped her fingers through his and ignored the wave of tender emotion that fluttered through her stomach at the simple reminder of a time long past. She nodded that she was ready and pushed to her feet, making sure to keep them attached.
“How do you feel?” Poseidon watched her warily and moved to join her.
Em frowned and focused on her body. “I’m alright… I think.” She took a step and swayed, feeling lightheaded, as if she’d lost a great deal of blood. “I’m just kind of woozy.” She took a deep breath and blinked, trying to clear her sight, which was going hazy.
Her eyelids fluttered, closed, then she was falling.
She didn’t feel Poseidon catching her but when she opened her eyes, he had her gathered in his arms and was staring down at her with troubled eyes.
“You can put me down now,” she whispered, lifting her hand from his chest where she could feel the rapid thud of his heart beneath her palm. “I’m feeling steadier.”
Poseidon shook his head. “No way. You passed out the last time I let you stand.”
Em arched a single brow, “Let me?” She waited until Poseidon’s lips turned up in the crooked smile that made her stomach shiver.
“You know what I meant.” He blew out a breath. “Am I going to have to carry you through this?” This time he arched a brow. “Piggy back ride?”
She chuckled despite the seriousness of their situation. “I hope that won’t be necessary but,” she grinned, “I’ll ride you like a horse if I have to.”
The double entendre of her words struck a split second later and, instantly, Em felt her cheeks go hot. She forced herself to keep eye contact without flinching, though, while her entire body flared with embarrassment.
What was he doing to her?
Em cleared her throat and pushed against his chest. “Let me try standing.” When he did what she asked without question, Em fought back a moment of panic. She gripped his arm as her feet hit the floor.
The dizziness came a moment later but stilled as she threw herself forward into his arms. Em felt it recede the closer she was to Poseidon’s body, so she pressed close, resting her head against his chest and wrapping her arms around him as much as she could.
“There has to be an answer to this,” she muttered against his shirt. “It almost seems…” she hoped he would understand what she meant, “personal.”
Poseidon hummed and nodded, poking the top of her head with his chin. “Just a bit.” He pulled her in even closer and shuffle walked them forward. “Maybe it’ll stop once we get further into the cave.”
She held onto him as they made their way slowly into what now seemed like an endless cavern. Em frowned as the light they’d been following slipped further and further away. “It’s useless.” She shook her head. “We need to figure this out or we’re stuck here.” Frustration filled her stomach with acid that ate away at her patience.
“I can’t…” Poseidon growled low in his throat and moved his hands to her waist, lifting and rotating her until she was in his arms again, cradled against his chest. “I need to see your face.”
Em’s mouth went suddenly dry. That wasn’t something she’d expected to hear from anyone, let alone him. He wanted to see her face, see her hair, her curse. Maybe…
“So, let’s talk it out.” Poseidon’s words chased her thoughts away. “You changed when we hit whatever curse this is but I wasn’t affected.”
Em’s eyebrow shot up. “Are you sure?”
Poseidon stilled and frowned deeply. He looked away as if going over his body and mind, searching for any change. “I’m good.” He shook his head. “At least I think so.”
“Maybe because you’re a god?”
“Maybe. But, you’re the daughter of a sea-god and goddess. I think it’s more likely Hecate put this here for you specifically.”
Em huffed out a breath. “I hate witches.”
“Be that as it may, we still need to figure out this curse or we’re fucked and Eury dies.” His biceps flinched beneath her and his tone was instantly contrite, “I’m sorry, I…”
“No,” Em cut him off. “You’re right. We need to get this done.” She bit down on her lower lip, worrying it over. “If it’s aimed at me specifically, then why were you able to pull me out of the darkness?”
“The darkness?”
Em shrugged, “It’s what I call the monster.”
Poseidon pressed his lips together and just stared at her for a moment. “You’re not a monster, Medusa. Having a head of snakes doesn’t make you a monster.”
Em shook her head slowly, regretfully, wishing she didn’t have to explain. “It’s not just snakes.” She moved a hand to her abdomen. “There’s a darkness that lives inside me now. It pulls at me, constantly twisting things so that it’s easier for me to just give in and spiral out of control than to keep it in check. I’m like a vampire.” A corner of her mouth tugged up for a second. “My nature changed when Athena cursed me and I can fight it for periods of time but when I’m weak, it’s there, daring me to give in. It’s affected all of us, not just me. We all feel the pull of it. Eury and Thea just happen to be better at handling it than me. “
“What does it want?” Poseidon asked quietly.
“Blood,” Em answered immediately, feeling the familiar roil of disgust move through her. “Death and destruction. What Athena did changed who I was, who I am, and it’s taken far too long for me to learn enough control to keep it at bay.”
“I had no idea.” His arms gripped her tighter and hugged her closer. “I’m so sorry for what she did to you. To all of you.”
Em swallowed back tears and just nodded. “Thanks.” She took a moment to wallow then straightened her shoulders. “But, that’s beside the point. I went to the dark side when we stepped inside this cave and you were able to bring me back. How?” She frowned and thought back over everything Poseidon had said while she’d been murder happy.
“I told you that I loved you and showed you the necklace you made me.” He looked down into his shirt.
Without hesitation, Em reached into his shirt. Her fingertips skimmed his warm skin, flooding her with memories of the day she’d given it to him before she could pull it free. The shell was smooth and warm in her hand and, even in the relative darkness, reflected whatever glint of light there was. Em stared at it now with preternatural eyes and saw that it was even more beautiful than she remembered.
“I searched the beach for hours until I found the perfect shell,” she whispered as she ran a finger gently over the smooth surface. “How had it lasted all this time?”
“A simple spell,” Poseidon said roughly, shifting her weight in his arms.
“It meant that much to you?”
His breathing hitched slightly before he spoke. “It reminded me of you and the way you looked on the beach that night.” Poseidon cleared his throat and shifted her again, “I guess I just never wanted to forget the good times.”
Focused intently on the shell and his words, Em barely felt him lowering her feet to the cavern floor. She studied the flecks of color and remembered the heat of the sun as she’d carefully made a hole for the leather tie to go through. It had been a simple present, a summer gift to make her love smile. Em remembered the love that had coursed through her veins and smiled. She closed her hand over the symbol of her affection and slipped it back into his shirt.
“I never forgot either,” she felt the first spin of dizziness and stepped back into his arms, pressing her face against his chest. “Give me a minute.”
Em bit down on the tender flesh inside her cheeks and searched for balance. She closed her eyes and breathed deep, inhaling the fresh scent of Poseidon’s skin. She pushed past her focus on only him and concentrated on breathing in positive energy, exhaling fear and negativity. It was how she’d found her balance a million times over the years, but now, in his arms, threatened with a glimpse of what she could become if she succumbed to the darkness, it wasn’t enough. She had to trust him, she felt it in her bones.
But, how could she trust him?
Loving him, admitting to herself that she still loved him, had been hard enough. But trust? Trust was earned and he’d lost hers lifetimes ago, it wasn’t so easily regained. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust him at all, she was trusting him with Eury’s life, after all. Shouldn’t that be more precious to her than her own heart?
Em battled with the idea that she held her own heart above her love of Eury. It wasn’t the same, she argued with herself. Poseidon was just helping her find a cure, he wasn’t pledging a lifetime of love. He wasn’t making promises for eternity. It was different.
She was afraid.
Em bit back the truth, hating that she was letting fear stop her from moving forward, from finding Eury’s cure. She’d trusted everyone once upon a time and look where that had gotten her. Her trust was given to precious few these days. Em thought about who she really trusted and her breath caught in her throat when she realized that there was no one. Not one single soul that she trusted completely, not even herself. Least of all herself.
That was it, she realized, opening her eyes. This wasn’t about Poseidon and her relationship with him or her connections to anyone else. This was about her. About her insecurities and flaws.
Em blew out a deep breath and steeled herself, then took a step back from Poseidon who watched her carefully, arms at the ready to catch her. She glanced up at him in appreciation and waited for the b
out of nausea to hit her.
It took her to her knees in an instant but she refused to let Poseidon lift her again. “No,” she shook her head, which made it spin even more, and clenched her hands. She needed to find the strength to stand on her own, to trust that she could, to trust that she had control. She wasn’t alone anymore, she was strong, she wasn’t just a monster.
A pale light caught the corner of her eye as the pains in her stomach ebbed and faded with each breath. Em spread her fingers, forcing them to unclench as she stood on still trembling legs and took a step toward the light. Literal or metaphorical, she didn’t care, it was where she belonged. It was where she’d fought a thousand years to belong.
“Come on, then.” Em felt the last of the magic drift away as she crossed the cavern with Poseidon by her side. “Let’s go talk to a witch.”