by KB Winters
“Nope.” After a quick spritz of disinfectant, I taped some gauze over the wound and stepped back to look at Shae again. He was cool. Distant.
“Well, I’m glad you’re mostly unharmed.”
He was alive and all those worst case scenarios playing in my head were just stress. Anxiety. And that was another sign that I should keep my feelings to myself. This was not the life for me. It didn’t matter that I loved Shae because clearly he didn’t feel the same.
I cleared away all the bandages and ointments. “You need anything?” I asked, giving him a last check.
Just because he was pulling back didn’t mean that he wasn’t hurting from whatever had happened tonight. Whatever he might have had to do. If I could help, I would.
Shae stared through me, and I poured a healthy amount of whiskey into a glass before shoving it in his hand.
“Thanks,” he said, giving me an unreadable stare. I watched with worried eyes as he finished the drink in three big gulps.
I poured another, smaller drink and returned the glass to his hands. Our fingers brushed, and I held my breath just to make sure I didn’t react. I wouldn’t let myself react. If he was pulling back then that was my answer. I had to do the same.
“No problem.”
I had no fucking clue what to do to help him. This was his life. Surely he couldn’t be in shock, could he? No, that was just another excuse, when the most likely answer was that now that the danger was over, he was ready to end our acquaintance.
“What?” The word came out low and menacing, and I took a step back.
“Nothing.” His gaze lingered on mine but instead of heat and affection there was a distant blankness, a distinct lack of anything that resembled the man I foolishly thought I was in love with.
“Thanks, Shae. For everything.” I turned and paused on the bottom step of the staircase up to the bedroom. I fought the urge to just leave. I would leave and soon, but I didn’t have the money Shae’s family did. I couldn’t afford to replace all the clothes I’d brought over. Besides, what harm could another few minutes do? I raced up the stairs. Shae didn’t say a word.
I grabbed all my toiletries from Shae’s bathroom and packed away every item of clothing I could find. Whatever I left behind would be lost to me forever and that would have to be okay. I felt the weight of his stare before I saw him but I didn’t stop moving. I couldn’t.
“What are you doing?” he asked from the doorway.
“I’m taking a hint, Shae.” Screw folding everything neatly, I’d wash and iron them once I was back in my own damn house. “I’ll be gone soon enough.”
“I didn’t say you had to leave.” His voice was still hard and distant, there was nothing inviting about it.
“Not directly, no, but don’t worry I’m not the kind of girl to cause a scene.” Even when it was deserved, I never caused a scene because it wasn’t my style.
“This was always supposed to be casual.”
I wondered who he was trying to convince, me or himself.
“Right.”
I snatched a pair of earrings off the nightstand and tossed them into my bag.
“Seriously, thank you for protecting my brother.”
The closer I got to Shae, the harder it was to remember that this was goodbye. But this wasn’t the hardest thing I’d ever had to do. Top five, maybe, but not the hardest, so I closed the distance between us and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Take care of yourself, Shae.”
“There’s no reason we have to end.” The ‘yet’ was implied if not voiced.
“There’s a very good reason why, Shae.” And saying it would make walking away easier because he wouldn’t want to hear it.
His expression was pure skepticism, like there could be no possible reason for us to continue on as we were. “Yeah? Tell me.”
“You don’t want to know,” I assured him and hoisted the bag on my shoulder. If he wanted to push me then I needed to make a quick getaway after I said it.
“Tell me, Ivy.”
“Fine. We have to end this now because I fucking fell in love with you.”
He scoffed, clearly disgusted by the idea of my love. “Guess you’re not so different after all, Ivy.”
I flashed a sad smile. “Now that you know why I have to leave, have a nice life Shae Connelly.”
I walked away and didn’t look back, no matter how much I wanted to. Shae was a good memory and this way, he would stay one.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Shae
Love. What a crock of shit. I believed in love, but I didn’t believe that Ivy was in love with me. It was gratitude at best, and if I wanted to be cynical as hell about it, her reasons were mercenary. Either she had some kind of hero complex or she thought hooking up with a rich guy would make her life easier.
Ivy didn’t love me. She couldn’t.
“Goddammit Shae, are you even listening?” Eamon’s loud voice pulled me from my thoughts, and I looked up to see three pairs of eyes and the faces attached to them clearly annoyed. Patrick, Eamon and Conor all looked at me like maybe I was losing my shit.
“To which part? You haven’t stopped talking for the last fifteen minutes.” That much was true, but he glared at me anyway, knowing I hadn’t heard a word he said.
“What do you think we should do with Lorenzo, or are you too out of it to be part of this decision?”
“I think we should kill the motherfucker, but I know that’s not what Patrick wants.”
The man in question scoffed and blew out a big plume of cigar smoke. “I want him alive to see all of his progeny die before him. That’s the price he has to pay for trying to take what’s mine.”
The old man had been particularly giddy over the last thirty-six hours, having one of his greatest enemies at his disposal.
“Okay, so what? Do we torture him, beat his ass a little and dump him somewhere or what?” For what he did to me and to Ivy’s brother, if I couldn’t kill him, it didn’t matter what we did to the old fucker.
Conor clapped me on the back. “I like the way you think, cousin. What do you say about a little old fashion torture, Uncle? That would be a nice little gift, I’d say.”
Patrick smiled at Conor with a wicked gleam in his eyes. “Save that glee for Lorenzo’s pride and joy, my boy.”
Bam. That meant we were nowhere near ending this beef with the Milanos.
“For now we’ll keep Lorenzo where he is.”
“Are you sure that’s wise, Patrick?” Eamon was worried for some reason.
“Am I sure? As far as you’re concerned son, I am always sure.”
Eamon shrugged and turned away, a sure sign his patience with the old man was thin, and I couldn’t blame him.
“Fine,” he said, sullen as a teenager.
Patrick was over the little spat. “You boys get on out of here and celebrate this victory. I have a few men looking after Lorenzo so don’t worry about it. Come back tomorrow for lunch. All of you.” He turned to Eamon. “Layla too.”
Eamon smiled. “Better have Aunt Fiona make a lot of food. She’s been hungry lately.”
I was happy for my brother, I really truly was, but the last thing I wanted to hear about was about his blissful state. He deserved it, without a doubt, but hearing about it now only made me want to scream. Why did Ivy have to go and ruin things by tossing out the word love?
Why did she think she could manipulate me with that word? Love. Some women treated it like a currency and I, foolishly, thought Ivy was different. She was dressed up differently and she worked for a living, but she was no different than the dolled up women trolling the clubs for a rich husband. I couldn’t curse her enough for ruining shit between us and I couldn’t stop cursing myself for fucking it up before I got one final taste of her.
“It usually helps if you stick the key in the ignition to start to engine.”
Eamon stood beside my car, his smiling face looking at me through the window.
“Thanks for the tip, assho
le.”
He motioned for me to roll down the window and I did. “What’s going on with you? Did Ivy dump your sorry ass already?”
His tone was joking but Eamon didn’t miss a beat and his eyes missed nothing.
“Oh shit, she did?”
“Of course not. Women don’t break up with me because I don’t have relationships with women.”
“Correction, baby brother, you didn’t have relationships. Until her. Don’t fool yourself, Shae. You moved the woman into your home, and you used family resources to keep her safe.”
When it was all put together like that, it did sound damning, but that didn’t make it a relationship. “I was just returning one kindness with another.”
“Bullshit. But if you’re too scared to go after her, then it’s probably good you’re a fucking coward.” He reached inside the window and squeezed my shoulder. “It’s better she know now.”
“She didn’t dump me, asshole. She said she loves me.”
“Well I hope that’s not the face you wore when she said it. Looks like you’re being forced to eat shit.”
“I told her she was no different than any other husband hunter.” And I couldn’t forget the hurt and the resignation on her face when I said it.
“Oh I get it now, you’re just an asshole.”
“You don’t get it because you met Layla, fucked her and fell in love with her. That’s not what this is.” It was just a casual fling brought on by unusual circumstances.
“That’s not what you wanted it to be, but face facts man, you’re out here staring into space and probably thinking about her. Thinking about the way she looked when you broke her heart.”
He was right, damn him. “You know the worst part? She told me because she knew it would end us.”
“Then you should be happy. Go home and get drunk or go get on top of someone else. Just get out of this funk. I got a feeling we haven’t seen the last of the Milanos.”
Eamon tapped the roof of my car and walked off, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
I started the engine and took off, speeding through the streets of Rocket to clear my mind, but my mind didn’t want to be cleared. Visions of Ivy played in my mind. Ivy smiling and laughing at me, making jokes at my expense. Ivy, eyes closed in ecstasy. Ivy looking devastated and rejected.
Somehow I ended up parked in Ivy’s driveway, staring at the door. Sometime later, I don’t know how long, she opened the door and stomped down the stairs, giving me a chance to appreciate her feminine curves. She wore one of those soft looking dresses covered with flowers and tiny buttons from the center of her cleavage to just above the knee. Shapely legs were on display and my mouth watered as she stomped over to my side.
“What the hell are you doing here?”
“I don’t know,” I told her honestly because I had no clue why I was there. Or maybe I did.
“Good, then you can go somewhere else.” She turned and stomped back up the steps and slammed the door hard enough I could hear it over the sounds of kids playing in the neighborhood.
The longer I stared at that door, the more certain I was that I came here for a reason. And I would figure that reason out. Soon.
It didn’t take long before I walked up the path and yelled, “Open the door, Ivy.” I knocked and knocked, banging and smacking the door until she opened up.
“What?”
“We need to talk.”
She reared back as though I’d slapped her. “I think we said everything that needed to be said.”
“Maybe you did, but I didn’t.”
She glared at me, and I invaded her space until she stepped back, giving me the perfect opportunity to slip inside her place.
I came right out with it. “I was an asshole.”
“We don’t need to rehash this, Shae. You weren’t an asshole. You were honest with me from the beginning and I should have … well I shouldn’t have said anything about any of that. In fact, I take it back.”
“Oh, but sweetheart, you can’t take it back.”
Ivy notched her chin up in defiance. “I already did.”
She backed up against the wall and I kicked the door shut, cupping her jaw gently. “What I’m saying is, I don’t want you to take it back.”
Her big blue eyes widened in fear and that only gave me more confidence to push. “I care about you, Ivy.”
She rolled her eyes. “You said that.”
“It’s true. I don’t know what to do about it because I don’t really give a damn about women. Usually.”
“But I’m different?” she asked, her voice full of skepticism.
“You know you are, sweetheart.” I trailed a finger down the line of her jaw, the slope of her neck. “I knew it too. I don’t know why I lashed out at you the other day. You just caught me off guard.”
“You had no idea?”
“Fuck no. How would I? I’ve never been in love before, and Patrick isn’t really the affectionate sort. He loves us and we all know it, but he’s not the warm and fuzzy type.”
Despite all that, I knew the truth. With Ivy in my arms, big blue eyes staring up at me with a painful mix of love and fear, I knew without a doubt that this woman was mine.
“Well now you know. What do you plan to do about it?” Her lips curved into a seductive grin.
“I plan to make you mine.”
Ivy tried to slide away and my hand shot out to stop her. She looked up at me. “How do you plan to do that, Shae?”
“You’re mine, Ivy. You just need a little reminder.” My hand went to her throat, stroking it gently until she gasped. My teeth scraped along her jawline until her fingers tangled in my hair.
“Shae.” The sound of my name, little more than a throaty moan on her tongue, made me hard as hell.
“Ivy, sweetheart. I want you. I need you.”
“Yes, Shae.” Her head tilted back, giving me better access to her neck, to taste the soft, sweet flavor of her flesh.
“You want me, Ivy?” One hand slid up her thigh until I reached the sweet heat of her pussy, dipping my hand inside her panties to see how ready she was.
“See how wet you are for me, Ivy. Even your body knows you’re mine.”
“Shae. Please.”
“Oh sweetheart, I intend to please you.” I plunged a finger in deep and a strangled moan came out, sending shivers straight through my cock.
“It’s so wet and so fucking hot, I can’t wait to bury my cock in here.”
“Yes,” she moaned, gasping out loud when I tore her panties right off her body. “Oh, yes, Shae.”
I lifted Ivy in my arms easily, but not until my pants fell around my ankles and my cock sought her pussy like a heat seeking missile. The heat of her came closer and closer to the tip of my cock and I paused.
“There’s something you should know, babe.”
“Now? You want me to know something now?”
“Yeah. I had a think about it and I figured something out.”
It killed me not to be buried deep but when she was so close her arousal dripped down the length of my cock, but I needed her to hear me.
“What did you figure out, Shae?”
“That I love you too.”
With the words spoken, I was free to dive into Ivy, to lose myself inside her body until I was too tired to get lost. Her eyes never left mine as I thrust into her body, taking my pleasure hard and fast while giving it to her just the way she liked it.
“I love you Ivy, and I’ll do what it takes to make you believe me.”
Her eyes gave me hope. They were filled with the kind of love I saw between Layla and my brother, but there was still hesitation. A hesitation that I was responsible for putting there.
“Shae.” It was just a moan, not a declaration.
She didn’t want to talk now, fine. I held her tight, close and plunged deep, over and over again. Being inside Ivy was a special kind of heaven and with every stroke, she pulled me under her spell. Deeper and deeper I fell as I watched h
er head fall back against the wall, her eyes flutter closed, and her fingernails dug into my flesh.
“Oh fuck, sweet Ivy. Come for me baby. Come for me. Now.”
She blinked and opened up her pretty blue eyes, dark with desire. She was open and unguarded as she took me in.
“Oh Shae, yes!” She fell apart and it was beautiful to witness. She shook and vibrated, clawed at me as pleasure escaped from her body, her pores. “Yes!”
She pulsed so tight and hot around me I couldn’t stop the flood of my own pleasure even if I wanted to. My orgasm erupted from me and I held her tight as my hips kept on pumping into her. I couldn’t get enough.
Minutes later, we were on the floor, gasping for air and smiling, because everything felt so right in that moment. It felt like everything would finally be okay. I knew it was a naïve thought, but pleasure flooded me and I couldn’t think straight.
“Did you mean it?” she asked shyly.
I turned to Ivy and smiled. “I meant every fucking word, Ivy. I love you and if you love me, too, I think we should give this thing a shot. Don’t you?”
She sighed and I waited. “I do but … are you sure, Shae?”
“Absolutely, sweetheart. I’m in love with you and that means you’re stuck with me. And my crazy family.”
“That doesn’t sound so bad,” she said quietly, a spark of hope in her eyes.
“Then how about you tell me you love me too, and we’ll go from there?”
She laughed and pushed off my chest, smiling down at me. “I do love you, Shae. With all of my heart.”
“That’s so good to hear, sweetheart. Now what do you say we have a proper fuck in your big bed?”
She laughed again, and the sound was music to my ears. “That sounds much better than any offer I’ve had today.”
My frown sent her into another fit of laughter as I stood and tossed her over my arm, carrying her to her bed where I could give her the best fucking she deserved.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Ivy
Was it possible to die of happiness? Could a person be too happy? That was how I’d felt for the past twenty-four hours, ever since Shae showed up on my doorstep and made his big declaration of love.