by T S McKinney
Chapter Seven
Ari
Never in my life had I felt prouder of myself and so completely satiated at the same time. I was floating, literally floating in fluffy clouds of fucking happiness and contentment. Not only had I finally lost my virginity, but I’d done it with the first and only man I’d ever loved. Did my ass burn? Hell, yeah, it did…in the most wonderful of ways. It was the best damn feeling in the world, and I knew what made it even more special was that I’d shared it with Eli…the way it was always intended to happen.
My body and my brain felt like a wet noodle, all limp and weak. I guessed that would be my excuse for what tumbled out of my mouth the minute I opened it. Exhaustion and the fact that I was so damn proud of myself. “Thank Jeezus, I finally got that over with.” The look on Eli’s face jerked me back to reality within a split second. Okay, yeah, I could see where somebody might take that the wrong way.
“Hold up! That sounded way different in my head than it did coming out of my big, fat mouth!” I hustled out of the bed, nearly fell when my noodle legs tried to give way because they didn’t have the strength to hold my weight after being so thoroughly fucked, and somehow landed flat up against Eli’s chest. He felt stiff as a board and glared down at me with a mixture of hurt and anger in his stormy gray eyes.
“Wow, Ari,” he remarked dryly as he straightened me up and put some distance between us—distance I wasn’t interested in being a part of. “I wasn’t expecting applause or anything like that, but I also didn’t expect you to be an asshole.”
Ouch. Earned it, so I couldn’t defend myself. Letting Eli know about my virginity had initially been something I was staunchly against. Now, it looked like I wasn’t going to have any choice but admit to the one person I wanted to impress that there was nothing impressive about me—nobody had wanted me in their bed since he’d left me. Not true…I hadn’t wanted anybody but Eli. Of course, I’d rather pluck out my eyeballs and drop them in bleach before admitting that to him.
I reached to take the washcloth from him, but he snatched it back and said, “Just lay back down on the bed, Ari. It’s my place to take care of you.”
His voice wasn’t quite a snarl but pretty damn close.
“I was a virgin, Eli!” The words tumbled out before my stubborn pride somehow convinced me to not be honest and just let Eli be hurt from the stupid words I’d spoken earlier. He jerked back like I’d slapped him, causing me to panic…so I kept talking. “I didn’t want you to know because I knew you’d treat me different, and you know how badly I hate being treated differently! So…so I didn’t exactly lie but I didn’t tell the truth.” The panic intensified when I realized Eli could perceive my actions as another lie and it might be the end of us, forever this time. “And…and when I said that earlier, I only meant that I was fucking proud of myself for finally luring you into my bed and then being able to handle everything you gave me. I was just proud, Eli. It was nothing like how it sounded.”
With a roughness I knew wouldn’t have been there before I opened my mouth, he took the washcloth and began cleaning the cum from my stomach and chest. When he’d finished, he turned without a word and went into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. I heard the lock on the door activate and then the shower turned on. Disheartened and ashamed, I turned away and began rummaging through my clothes for a pair of sweat pants and T-shirt. The need to hide myself…all of me…was overwhelming. True to my history, I’d fucked things up.
Again.
As I slid the loose-fitting clothing onto my body, I felt tears start to slide down my face. What should have been one of the happiest moments of my life had been successfully turned into a shitshow because of my stupidity. The saddest part is that I probably wouldn’t change a thing if I had it to do over again. Feeling Eli inside of me, possessing every damn inch of my body, heart, and soul, had been worth it…at that particular moment. Now? Not so much.
A part of me wanted to make a run for it and attempt to book another room and just hide from him for the remainder of the cruise. Another part of me wanted to face his wrath and, hopefully, move past it. At breakfast, things had almost felt like old times, when we’d been head over heels in love. The way his hungry gaze roamed over me, dripping with lust had been almost predatory. I’d loved it. Eli had always managed to make me feel special. When I was with him, I didn’t feel the need to hide to pretend.
Well…except for all the lies I kept telling. If I was honest with myself, that was just another way of hiding. Soooo, two steps forward and ten steps back—the story of my life.
With nothing else to do, I went out onto the balcony and waited for Eli to come and scream his frustrations at me. I didn’t blame him—he had every reason to be angry. I looked around the spacious deck and decided on a lounge chair in the corner. I’d booked the most expensive suite on the boat, so we had plenty of room. Of course, we were going to need it. I had a feeling Eli wouldn’t come near me again.
I dropped down onto the lounge chair, drew my legs up, and wrapped my arms around them. A sliver of pain shot through my ass, and I enjoyed the feeling…since that was probably the last time I’d experience it. Jeezus, what a fucking dumbass I was. Would I ever grow out of my immaturity? Youth had been my excuse for the first time I’d lied to Eli; I didn’t have an excuse anymore. Today was my birthday. I was twenty-fucking-years-old. I should know better. I should be comfortable in my skin. Confident.
On the bright side—if there was one—I was no longer a virgin.
Yeah, that was pretty much the end of my bright side.
I cringed when I heard the sliding doors open and then close again. Oh, shit. It was about to hit the fan. At this point, I could only hope I didn’t break down and cry like a baby when he blasted me and then, I was certain, when he tossed me aside afterwards. Again.
Happy fucking birthday to me.
Eli walked over to the lounge chair where I huddled, straddled the end of it, sat down, and stared at me. Stared for what felt like thirty minutes but couldn’t have been more than one or two. My hair, way too long and unruly, hung down in front of my face, blocking him from seeing my eyes, so I took the opportunity to try and gauge just how pissed he was. Instead of that, though, my traitorous eyes soaked up his masculine beauty. His muscles. His tattoos. Did I mention his muscles? Yeah, already went there. Why would I have ever thought I could keep someone like Eli happy, anyway? He was so fucking far out of my league that it was ridiculous.
Finally, he opened his mouth and said, “Look at me, Arizona.” His tone was gruff and growly.
What was wrong with me? He was about to drop me like a hot potato and his voice was turning me on? Even his Oscar the Grouch/Grinch voice did it for me.
When I didn’t raise my eyes, he said, “Don’t make me more disappointed than I already am. Look. At. Me.”
I wasn’t sure what kind of snake it was that could hypnotize prey with their eyes, lure them closer and leave them helpless until it was too late to try and save themselves…but that’s exactly how I was with Eli. Hypnotized. Helpless. His prey. My stupid heart wanted him, and it was too late to save myself. I raised my eyes and met his dark gaze.
He stared a few seconds, made a huffing sound, and popped his knuckles. It was a habit I knew he did when he was irritated.
“Do you understand why I’m disappointed in you, angel?”
Angel—that was a good sign. Wasn’t it? “Because I wasn’t honest with you.”
He reached out, took my hands and held them in his much larger grip. The grasp was tight enough that I couldn’t escape, even if I’d wanted to…but I didn’t. His touch had always been more than a means of arousal for me—it’d always been my security blanket as well. Everything about Eli calmed the craziness inside of me, anchoring me to the real world.
“That’s one reason—honesty is very important in a relationship.” I arched my brow in surprise when he called what we were doing a relationship, but the thundering of my heart kept me from res
ponding. Excitement bubbled inside of me, giving me hope. “There’s more than that, though. I could have hurt you, Ari. I could have easily damaged the body that I cherish…even if you might not cherish it. On top of that, your first time should have been special—not a rough tumble in the middle of the day.”
His words made sense. The thoughtfulness threatened to bring tears to my eyes. I regretted not being honest with him, but I didn’t regret what had happened. I hadn’t wanted to be treated special, all that kid-glove stuff I’m usually handled with. I had wanted to be a man, and I’d wanted to be that man with Eli.
So, instead of apologizing like Eli wanted me to do, I shrugged my shoulders and said, “I don’t regret it and I’m not sorry.” There. He wanted honesty. I gave him honesty. My ass still tingled in the loveliest of ways and I didn’t intend to allow guilt or Eli’s misgivings to interfere with the heat buzzing throughout my body.
I’d expected a frown or a flash of anger, but I’d gotten neither one of those. Instead, an evil grin spread across his face…making me suddenly doubt the intelligence of my words.
“You may not regret it or may not be sorry, but you do deserve to be punished.”
Heat that I shouldn’t feel because I didn’t get into that BDSM crap like Seth and Baker…and supposedly Eli…spread throughout my body, causing most of my blood to start racing toward my cock like it was in the final stretch at the Kentucky Derby. Motherfuck.
“I…I…told you I wasn’t into that stuff, Eli,” I stammered.
“I know,” he answered, evil grin still firmly in place. “That’s why it’s punishment. Not pleasure.”
Absolutely not a drop of blood was left in my brain. I’d never been more thankful for baggy sweatpants in my entire life. “You will not spank me like I’m a child, Eli! Absolutely not!” At the moment, my cock hated my mouth because of the words coming out of it. What. The. Fuck? I was so not into that kind of shit. A spanking was the very emblem of everything I tried to avoid in my life—being perceived as a child. Of course, according to the bits and pieces of information I’d managed to overhear, Seth spanked the skin off Baker’s ass on a regular basis.
“Hmmm…I didn’t mention a spanking,” Eli said thoughtfully. “I was thinking more along the lines of a short essay on the negative effects of lying and how it skews the entire universe.”
What? “Are you serious?”
He laughed—it was the old Eli laugh that I’d missed so damn much. Another protective shield fell away from my heart when the noise tickled my ears.
“Of course, I’m not serious, angel. Writing is such a waste of time when we both know actions speak much louder than words. Yes, a spanking is what I had in mind. Nothing too hard…but hard enough that you’ll think twice before lying to me again.”
He was so full of shit. There was no way on earth I was going to allow him to spank me. It simply wasn’t going to happen, regardless of how much my cock obviously approved of the idea. “If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you at least ten times that I’m not into the games that Seth and Baker play. Pain isn’t my thing.” Liar, liar—pants on fire.
“And I’ve told you that I don’t play the games that Seth and Baker play, either. Most lovers enjoy some non-vanilla foreplay as part of their sex life. Secondly, you must be into pain more than you think if you allowed me to fuck you without the whole I’m a virgin warning.” He leaned forward, putting our bodies closer than I was comfortable with because when Eli was close—I couldn’t think straight.
“Angel, I very much enjoyed fucking you, and I know that I’d enjoy making love to you even more.” He arched a questioning brow at me. “Did you enjoy it?”
“Yes!” I answered quickly…probably too quickly. I clearly didn’t have an ounce of pride left in my body. “I mean, it was okay.”
He chuckled again, not believing my back-pedaling for a second. “Do you want to do it again?”
I shrugged in a way that I hoped appeared somewhat nonchalant. “If you wanted to, I guess we could.” If he wanted to—ha! I intended to do it at least three times a day, every day that we were on the cruise together. If he’d have me once we returned home, I’d gladly be his bed partner there, as well. I’d always dreamt of more but would settle for what Eli offered.
“You guess, eh?” He mocked. “Well, if we are going to get to enjoy and explore each other’s bodies, then you’re going to need to take your punishment for misleading me.” He cocked a brow at me and added, “You know I would never truly hurt you, right, angel?”
Well, hell. This trip had been all about losing my virginity, exploring new things, and becoming a man. Why not give it a try? Yes, it would be humiliating, and I knew I wouldn’t like it, but….
“Fine!” I snapped in what I hoped sounded like an irritated voice. “Do your worst, Eli. You don’t intimidate me.” I stood up and loomed over him, hands on hips and acting pissy. “Come on,” I taunted. “Don’t get scared now. What? Are you all talk? Is that it? Maybe you thought you could just threaten me and I’d wilt like a delicate rose! Sorry to disappoint, Eli, but that’s not me—not anymore.”
He slowly stood up so my looming over him vanished in an instant. Either on purpose or by accident, he mimicked my pose by standing with his hands on his hips. Note to self—he doesn’t look scared, intimidated, or disappointed. My accusations from seconds ago sounded deliriously stupid now.
“Perhaps you’d like to go inside to take your punishment, angel,” he suggested in the damn huskiest voice I’d ever heard in my fucking twenty years of life on this earth. “All the cabin decks of cruise ships have camera decks on them.” His grin grew wide across his face. “Now take me, for instance—I love putting on a show. I’m a bit of an exhibitionist. Actually, you could place it firmly in my kink column.”
Exhibitionism? Me? I could easily see Eli participating in sexual acts in front of a group of people…but me? Could I pull it off? The thought didn’t bother me as much as it probably should. If anything, the idea of someone watching while Eli performed wicked acts of perversion on my body sent warm tingles dancing within my bloodstream.
My heart raced.
My breathing changed.
My skin heated.
“Ohhhh, look who’s afraid now,” he teased playfully.
Fuck, but he knew how to play me like a violin. He’d known his taunt would be a dare…something I couldn’t pass up—something a tiny part of me didn’t want to pass up. “I’m not afraid,” I stated bravely. Well, it was brave if a person could ignore the slight tremor in my voice. “Show me your worst, Eli. If you think I’ve been so bad, punish me for it.” I had been wrong, but the whole punishment thing seemed utterly ridiculous to me. Well, all of me except for my cock. For some strange reason, it seemed all on board with a spanking and strangers watching it take place.
Eli sat back down onto the lounge chair and motioned for me to walk toward him. “Come here, angel. Your wings need clipping.”
Chapter Eight
Eli
Holy fuck, he was going to do it! Ari was actually going to go along with me issuing a punishment for his misbehavior. I couldn’t believe it. Fuck; it was too good to be true. Yes, I knew I hadn’t been completely honest with him, but didn’t really feel like I was lying because I’d convinced myself I could change if that’s what needed to happen to make things work out between the two of us. Now? I wasn’t so sure changing would be necessary. A lusty spark was burning in his emerald eyes, making them dark with desire. There’s was no lying about it—I might have manipulated him a bit with the dare. I knew that unless he’d changed dramatically over the years, he wouldn’t be able to turn it down. It was his Kryptonite—always had been and looked like it might always would be.
He hesitated for the slightest of seconds but then moved toward me. His bottom lip jutted out in a pout, but I knew the pout was just another weapon he used to try and get his way. Oh, the times I’d fallen for that fucking pout. Hundreds of times and I knew there would b
e thousands more. If a dare or challenge was Ari’s Kryptonite, then his pout and bubble ass were mine. He used his super powers, so I used mine.
When he stood in front of me, he said, “So how do you go about this ridiculous act? Want me to turn around and let you whip me? Lean over the railing? Hands and knees? Whatever your perverted head wants, just let me know.” He leaned down to look me square in the eyes. “There’s nothing you can do to scare me, Eli. You may know all my weaknesses, but I know yours as well.” He winked smugly. “May the best man win.”
Oh, my. Game on.
“You don’t want to go inside to avoid the cameras?” I asked, shock lacing my voice, I was certain. It would be a stretch to think I’d gotten lucky enough to go from virgin Ari to exhibitionist Ari. That shit only happened in fantasy land, right?
He placed his hands on my knees to brace himself while he continued to try and stare me down. “Cameras don’t scare me either. As a matter of fact, I think I might enjoy putting on a bit of a performance. I mean…if you’re embarrassed, I totally understand, and we can—”
He never got a chance to finish the sentence. One minute he was leaning over me, cocky grin on his handsome face, and in the next minute I’d yanked him forward and had him draped over my lap. With another quick move, I used my right leg to loop around his legs in order to help hold him in place. One of my hands wrapped around the back of his neck and the other one yanked his sweats down to reveal his delicious globes. He squirmed, squealed, and then ended with a string of curse words, but I didn’t allow him to escape what I found to be the most fucking glorious position in the world.
“Fuck, Eli! Give a guy a second to prepare, would ya?” He squirmed again, and I gave his right cheek a firm swat. “Are you being serious right now? Pull my pants back up this instant!” he demanded with yet another twist of his ass. While all his plumpness was nice and firm, it still gave a nice bounce when he wiggled vigorously.