by Paula Chase
But tonight, they’d kept the light on for her and moved on. Mina stood on the bottom step for a second, soaking in how it felt to be walking into the house at one AM. It was the next day, and she was just getting in.
Weird.
Humming quietly to herself, she eased into her room, which was aglow from her computer screen. She thought she’d turned it off before leaving. Frowing, she walked over to her desk to cut off the monitor when her mother’s voice came from out of nowhere.
“Did you all have fun?”
A shot of pure terror zigzagged through Mina’s heart.
The sandals fell from her hand and thumped to the floor.
“Oh, my God, Ma, you scared me.” She bent to pick up the shoes with one hand, holding the other to her chest. Her mom sat on the bed, her back against the wall, her legs crossed at the feet. In the ghostly glow of the monitor, her mom’s face looked angry.
Mina squinted, trying to focus, as she walked over to the bed. Turning off the monitor was forgotten. “We had a ball.” Mina kept her voice hushed, not wanting her voice to carry and awaken her father. She plopped on the bed beside her mom and crossed her legs, glad for someone to share her prom details with. “They had the ballroom decorated really nice.” She handed over one of the glowing stars to her mom. “Aren’t these cute?”
Her mom glanced down at it before thrusting it back. “Um-huh.”
Mina talked through the weird vibe coming from her mother. “It was ridiculous, Ma. Stefan and Wade got so drunk. And…”
“Were you and Brian drinking?” Her mother asked, never changing positions, tone, or facial expression.
Mina shifted uncomfortably. “No. It was just them, and their dates had a little.”
“Did you and Brian stay at the prom the whole time?”
Mina’s mind raced. Where was this going? Her mom knew they were going to a few afterparties, but since they hadn’t gone, Mina wasn’t sure how to answer. The spit in her mouth went MIA.
“No. We…” Her tongue made a strange clacking sound as she sputtered, “I mean Kim had her party and…”
“So you went to Kim’s?” Mariah Mooney’s eyebrow arched so tightly Mina dared not lie.
“No, not exactly,” Mina said. Fear slowly oozed from her. Her mouth worked in an attempt to moisten her tongue. She plucked at her dress, unraveling a small thread. She twirled it between her fingers as her mother’s tight voice lectured.
“Amina, you know nothing pisses me off more than a lie. If I ask you again, ‘were you at prom the whole time?’ you better be ready to answer with the full truth or say good-bye to your summer.”
Mina swallowed hard. Her heart skittered erratically, one second thumping heavily, the next racing like a stone skipping over water.
“Now, I’m going to help you out.” Mina’s mom pushed herself off the bed. She walked over, shut the bedroom door, then sat at Mina’s desk. “Let’s start from the beginning. Are you and Brian sexually active?”
Mina’s ears rang as if someone had boxed them.
Her mom’s mouth moved, but Mina didn’t hear a word. She put her right hand out and steadied herself on the bed, coming to when her mother said, “Did you hear me?”
Unable to find her voice, Mina merely shook her head no in admission.
She watched her mother squash a baleful glare. Within seconds, she’d gained enough patience to speak. Her voice was calm, but just short of “I want to wring your neck” anger. Mina knew the voice well. “I said I already know the answer to my question. Because of this.”
Mariah swiveled around and pointed to the monitor. And that’s when Mina saw it. She didn’t even have to ask what it was or what it said. It was the thing she’d forgotten, the thing she knew she had to do before rushing off to prom that night.
An IM exchange between her and Brian.
What were the odds? What were the odds that she’d forgotten to exit out of the instant message? She never did that. Always, always after she’d finished a conversation, she exited. It was habit. A habit she’d gotten herself into because she’d heard too many horror stories from other people about getting busted that way.
Stupid.
It was stupid, stupid, stupid.
Worse, Brian should have been getting dressed instead of dallying around with her online. And that was Mina’s fault—she had forgotten to turn on her Away message. The IM exchange should have never taken place. It was the perfect storm of idiotic mistakes.
From where she sat on the bed, she could see but not read the message. She didn’t need to. She knew what it said:
BJBBoy: so do I gt 2 tap tht 2nite?
BubbliMi: crude much?
BJBBoy: my bad cn I put u 2 bed?
BubbliMi: LOL ok cn we be mre cliché? Sex on prom nt?! Very hallmark movieish
BJBBoy: naw cliché is 1st time on prom nt
BubbliMi: Aww gee, my mom wld b so prd 2 knw I’m not a cliché
BJBBoy: Proud mght b pshg it!
BubbliMi: 4 real! Go get dressed Mr. Nasty Talk. I’m bng summoned to gt my dress on
BJBBoy: gt a surprise 4 u 2nite
BubbliMi: I <3 surprises!!
BJBBoy: ur boy gon hook u up
BubbliMi: cnt w8
BJBBoy: L8r
Mina’s body trembled lightly, and goose bumps broke out on her bare arms. Her mother’s voice, choked with tears, made her rip her eyes away from the screen.
“How long have you guys been having sex?”
Mina’s stomach roiled. She felt decidedly gross having this conversation. Still, she answered, knowing to be silent meant her mom’s wrath or worse, her dad waking up and asking about the hubbub. “The first time was two weeks ago.”
Her mother sighed. Mina couldn’t tell if it was relief or resignation.
Mariah swiveled the desk chair away from the monitor and faced the bed. The anger that had been etched on her face was gone. But Mina wished it was back. She hated the utter sadness that had replaced it. Or maybe it was disappointment. There wasn’t much difference at this point.
Her mom leaned over, resting her elbows on her thighs. The tears were gone from her face, but there was a sadness that threatened to break into tears at any second. Her voice was just above a whisper. “Maybe this is a foolish question, but why didn’t you come and tell me?”
Mina looked at her as if she’d just asked how come Mina didn’t place her hand in a roaring fire. “Ma, how was I supposed to tell you? Ooh, good news, me and Brian…” She shuddered, unable to finish.
“I meant, why didn’t you tell me before it all happened? Let me know you were thinking of having sex with him?” Mina’s mom snorted. “You can’t even say the words ‘had sex’ out loud to me. If you’re that embarrassed to talk about it, how in the world are you able to do it?” Her eyebrows did another sharp arch. “Or are you more comfortable having this talk with Brian?”
“It’s not like we really talked about it,” Mina mumbled. “It just happened.”
Her mom’s head shook vigorously. “No. These things don’t just happen. And you’re my child. I know you. You analyze just about everything, even if it’s whether you’re in the mood for pepperoni versus sausage on a pizza.” She wagged her finger at Mina. “You didn’t just do it. You might believe that it just happened. But you thought about it. Whether it was a few days, weeks, or months…you thought about it before it happened.”
Mina kept her face blank, hating when her mother pulled the “I know you” card.
“We talk about a lot of stuff, Mina. Why not this?” Her mom’s voice hitched again. “I always thought that I made it clear the door was open for us to talk about anything.”
Mina uncrossed her legs and sat on the edge of the bed so she and her mother were only two feet apart. “If I had…I mean, you would have probably made me stop seeing Brian.”
Mariah’s shoulders heaved in a slow motion rise, then an abrupt fall. “You don’t know that, Mina. I wouldn’t have been happy, no. And I would
have probably tried to talk you out of it. Brian’s leaving soon. Even if he did give you that friendship ring, three hundred miles apart for days and months at a time is hard on a relationship. I would have told you that ring or not, there’s no guarantee that you’ll stay together. And yes, I would have said sex would only bind you up emotionally and make life harder for you.” Mariah shook her head. “I like Brian. But, honey, once he’s in school…he’s going to live his life. And you should live yours.”
Bile rose, hot and bitter, in Mina’s throat. Tears streamed down her face. She wanted to cover her ears, make her mom go to bed, beg to have this discussion another time or never. But her tears brought on the tears her mother had been holding back, prolonging the conversation.
Mariah got up and sat beside Mina on the bed. She wrapped her arms around Mina, engulfing her in a hug, stroking her hair gently as she spoke. “I didn’t mean to ruin your night with this talk. I knew we’d have it at some point…but I really thought you’d come and tell me before…”
“Are you going to tell Daddy?” Mina asked, the thought making her heart race. She kept her head on her mom’s chest, listening to the answer in stereo as her mom’s voice vibrated in her ear and above her head.
“Honey, I have to.”
Mina’s head shot up. “Mommy, no.” Her tears poured. “Why?”
“Two reasons.” Mariah tugged her back down gently, resuming her hair stroking. “One, because this isn’t something I want to keep from your father. It could have all sort of ugly repercussions if he ever found out because of…” There was a frown in her voice. “Well, if something else led to him finding out. And second, because I’m not letting you go to O.C., and your father’s going to want to know why.”
Mina’s head popped up again. She stared in her mother’s eyes, mute.
The question at the tip of her tongue, the one she dare not ask was, “Am I being punished for having sex? Or because I didn’t tell you?”
Her emotions clamored inside—anger at her mom, at herself. She was grossed out at the thought of her father knowing she’d had sex and scared for what this meant for her and Brian over the summer.
Mariah met Mina’s angry, hurt gaze.
“Just so there’s no question—if you had come to me and told me you were thinking about having sex, I would have tried to talk you out of it. But I’m not stupid, Mina. The decision is…was yours to make. But I would have also made sure you were protected against disease and pregnancy.” Her eyes pierced Mina’s as if she was trying to see into her head. “You all did use protection, right? And please don’t lie.”
Mina nodded, and this time her mom did sigh with obvious relief. Her eyes crinkled slightly in a weak smile.
“Well, there’s that, huh?” she said, a bitter edge to her words. Dabbing at her eyes, she held Mina’s gaze. “You’ve put me in a bad position, Mina. I don’t want to feel like I can’t trust leaving you and Brian alone. But I don’t want you to miss out on the last two months he has before school. What do you think your punishment should be?”
Mina’s eyes narrowed with confusion. “For not telling or having sex?”
Mariah chuckled wryly. “Let’s just say for making an adult decision but for not being adult enough to face the issue with me.”
Mina’s shoulders popped. She picked at the unraveled thread in her dress. Michael was going to kill her when he saw that.
“Do you and Brian need a chaperone every time you’re together now?” Mariah narrowed her eyes.
Mina had no answer. She felt sick. Just do whatever. I don’t even care anymore, she wanted to say. But she said simply, “I don’t know. I mean, I don’t know what my punishment should be.”
“What if I said not to do it anymore?” Mariah appraised her, watching Mina’s actions carefully. There was a chuckle in her voice, like she knew this was the wackiest of all the options.
“I guess, if we’re not allowed to see each other, that’s about the same thing,” Mina said, pouting.
Mariah stood up. She opened her arms and waited until Mina begrudgingly stood up and walked into them. Mariah hugged with a vengeance. First, Mina only stood there. But soon, she wrapped her arms around her mother, squeezing. The tears, from shame and relief, flowed again.
“Well, for now, the trip to O.C. is off. We’ll discuss the rest later,” her mom said.
“I’m sorry,” Mina said.
Her mom quipped Mina’s dad’s favorite line, “For having sex or getting caught?”
“For getting caught,” Mina admitted.
Her mom laughed softly. But Mina didn’t. She held on to her mom, wondering how the night’s vibe had changed so fast.
Consequences and Repercussions
“Nobody wanna see us together, but it don’t matter.”
—Akon, “Don’t Matter”
Once her mom went to bed, Mina set her phone to silent and went on a texting spree.
For a spirit lift, she texted Lizzie first:
totally busted, my mom knows me n’ Brian did it. Think lockdown infinity!
Next, she texted Brian:
cnt go 2mrrw ttly busted!
Then she texted Jacinta:
hope ur nite was bttr than mine
She sat on her bed, wrapped in a blanket cradling the phone; huddled over it in the pitch blackness of her room, gazing down, waiting for its backlight to shine, indicating a new message had come in.
OMG, so sorry. How’d she find out?????
From Lizzie.
Aww day-um. Call me
from Brian.
Mina typed back furiously.
cnt, house 2 quiet. It sux but basically I 4got to close out our IM frm earlier. Hmm…ur fault.
She chuckled at Jacinta’s message:
Kelly stood up Angel, Angel tried to OD on phat azz, I wasn’t in da mood 4 dancing n’ Raheem hates Kelly said she ruined nght 4 ev’bdy. Top that!
She could top it, in her opinion. But she felt bad for Jacinta all the same. It was one thing to have a bad after prom night, but a bad prom night was the worst. She decided not to one-up Jacinta. Instead, she wrote back:
well looks like I’ll b home w/u guys this wkend while Brian is in OC. Long story, tell u l8r.
Her phone glowed brightly in the night as the messages poured in.
From Brian:
So I’m toast in the mooney household rt abt now, huh?
Jacinta:
how bout movie n’ a preggers test? I’m taking it 2morrow. Cn u come over?
Mina zipped off her answer to Brian:
Oh yeah, totally toast. No worries I’ll probably b punished til u graduate from Duke, by then they’ll have 4gotten!
And to Jacinta:
if the ‘rents let me. Yeah I’ll definitely cme over.
She was surprised when Jacinta’s response was:
see if Liz n’ Kell will come 2. need girl power support!
Mina rubbed at her eyes. The words blurred on the tiny screen. She’d been up since six AM, and the day was finally coming down on her. She typed back to Jacinta that she’d hook up an afternoon powwow before bowing out of the exchange.
She quickly texted Lizzie the short version of being busted and was glad Lizzie never “I told you so’ed” her. Instead, Lizzie sent a long message:
bright sidin it 4 ya—the wrse tht cld hapn did. & rmbr u did 6 wks pnshment stdg on ur head lst yr. wht cld they thrw at u? summers only 8 wks. CAKE WALK
Mina smiled at Lizzie’s philosophy, even though the thought of being punished all summer made her feel like she’d been fed through a paper shredder. Pretty appropriate since something told her her social life would be nothing but bits of confetti by August. Still, she made fun of herself in her message back to Lizzie:
the good news is, they probly will let me keep my phone and talk over the PC since phoneIM sex is better than real sex.
She and Lizzie exchanged a few bawdy jokes before Mina wrapped up the convo, asking Lizzie about meeting her at Jacinta�
�s tomorrow around noon. Assured that Lizzie would call Kelly, she said her good nights and settled in for a final exchange with Brian.
Wht r u going 2 tell ur parents abt me not going now? She typed.
Keeping the phone cradled near her face, she lay down on the bed and closed her eyes a few seconds. The thought of facing her father in the morning and then one day having to face Brian’s parents was the final gut punch, depressing her. Her eyes fluttered open in time to see the phone light up with Brian’s response:
IDK u think ur mom will call mine?
Mina bolted upright. She hoped not. But she wasn’t sure. Her mind was too tired to process it. She wrote back:
IDK jus tell ‘em I got sick
She chuckled at his answer:
that beats telln’ the truth. I’ll think of something
The battery light on the phone blinked urgently. She wearily retrieved the charger from her desk and plugged it in just in time for Brian’s last message.
Luv u, Toughie.
She texted back, I love u too. ttyl, then scrolled back to his last message, staring at it until her eyes refused to stay open.
At eleven the next morning, she awoke reluctantly. Sunlight streamed into her room, bouncing off her yellow walls, preventing any more sleep. She sat on the edge of her bed, smoothing down her bedhead, then crept to her door, opening it quietly.
She closed it again as the faint sound of her parents talking wafted up the steps.
The prospect of spending the entire day (weekend, even) in her room seemed the best option. Simply hide out until her parents had forgotten all about her devirginization. She dropped back down into bed and pulled the covers up to her chin, settling in for the long haul until her cell phone chirped.