by Renée Dahlia
Rachel desperately wanted to take the time to focus on her career and use Static Alarm’s victory to place herself as one of Melbourne’s premier senior jockeys. Losing the ride of Static Alarm put a severe dent in her plans, however, she’d always known she couldn’t build a career on one horse. She’d need to ride more horses at trackwork and demonstrate to trainers that she was reliable and a good judge of pace. And maybe it was time for a different agent, one who would fight for her, unlike Matthew who always seemed to have some excuse, something to whinge about. Rachel opened her eyes and sat up straight, weighing up her options. She was near the family farm and could go there for the evening, except it would mean driving back to Melbourne for trackwork at an ungodly hour.
She’d been avoiding the farm, and especially her twin sister, Serena, since the break-up with Lisa because she knew Serena would smother her in sympathy and she wasn’t ready. On the other hand, she did need some advice, and her siblings were the best people to provide it. She closed her eyes. When had she stopped being brave? She was lucky to have a twin sister who loved her, and two brothers who supported her even when they didn’t understand her. She missed the farm, but not the memories. Going to the farm only served to remind her of Dad, he’d been the one who’d understood her. He’d rubbed her back as she vomited after realising no one was coming to her party, and he’d quickly organised her apprenticeship in the city. A fresh start, where she could concentrate on horses without all the small town gossip, and high school meanness, where she could explore her sexuality without the constant chatter about her. The city had been a place where she could fuck her way to figuring out how to be bisexual and brave about it.
‘Okay. No more putting this off. I have to talk to Toshiko about Jacob’s punter’s club anyway.’ Rachel mumbled aloud, then clipped up her seatbelt and turned on her car. She backed out of the carpark and headed home to the farm.
Night had drifted down, smothering the farm in dark by the time Rachel turned into Merindah Park. Her headlights reflected off the white trunks of the gum trees lining the driveway, bouncing light around into the scattered shadows made by her car’s progress, hitting her with a fresh wave of grief. Of all her siblings, she’d been the most similar to Dad, it was uncanny how their brains worked identically. It’d been more than five years since he’d died of a heart attack, and yet the grief always seemed new when she drove up past the sign for Merindah Park, past the gum trees lining the driveway with their tall timbers and haunting white trunks. Emotions hit hard even now, after her oldest brother John had replaced the old sign—which had been lovingly repainted by Dad each year—with a shiny new one.
She parked by the front steps and stepped out of the car, the gravel crunching under her boots. The smell of wet grass filled her nostrils, a soft scent on the cool spring air: the smell of pastures growing. Spring always smelled of promises, new life, fresh starts. Precisely what she needed. She pulled off her boots and added them to the neat rows of boots beside the front door. Years of training made the movements automatic, and Rachel smiled at the notion of Mama’s explosive reaction to someone wearing footwear inside. She breathed in deep, pulling the country air deep into her lungs. Yes, home was where she needed to be, with people who cared for her. The never-locked front door swung open easily when she pushed on it and Rachel walked in, only to be hit by the smell of roast beef with all the trappings. Her stomach growled—she’d had one protein bar at lunch before race one and nothing since. She ran through the mental calculation of her weight and how much she could eat and still meet her race day obligations over the next few days. Definitely some vegetables, perhaps one small roast potato, with rich gravy over the top and a sliver of beer. Her mouth filled with saliva, life wasn’t worth skimping on gravy.
‘Hello everyone. I’m here,’ Rachel announced herself with vigour, spreading her arms wide in a gesture showing more confidence than she felt. Dad had always said, ‘Confidence lost, everything lost’, so she brazenly faked confidence whenever doubt nagged at her. The more doubt, the grander the gesture. Serena leaped up and gathered Rachel into a fierce hug.
‘Rach, you didn’t tell us you were coming. Where have you been? Are you alright? Did you get my messages?’
Guilt rushed into Rachel’s gut in a bitter wave, banishing her hunger. ‘Yes, I got your messages. Life in the city has been a bit hectic.’
‘Winning a Group One is no reason to avoid us,’ John, her oldest brother, called out, and laughter rang through the room. Rachel’s cheeks heated, and she knew she’d look flushed.
‘I’m not avoiding you. Like I said, life has been a little frantic lately.’
‘What a cracking ride on Static Alarm,’ Shannon said, and a warm wave of satisfaction settled across her skin as her brutally honest brother complimented her. If he thought it was a cracking ride, then it must have been something special.
‘Thanks. She really dug deep for me at the end.’ Rachel tried keep the disappointment about losing the ride on the lovely filly from her voice. Serena squeezed her once more then bounced back to her seat.
‘What are the plans for her? Tsuyoi Red is almost ready for his first start this spring, and I want to avoid a strong pace,’ Shannon said, typically sticking to horses.
‘Can I ride him?’ she asked.
‘Hey, I’ve been doing the trackwork on him since he came back to the farm,’ Serena spoke in her soft tones. ‘And you’ll have Static Alarm, anyway.’
‘They took me off Static Alarm.’ Rachel twisted her hands behind her back as the whole table exploded in outrage.
‘Why?’
‘What?’
‘That’s so unfair.’
‘The owners apparently wanted a senior jockey on her, now that she’s a star,’ Rachel whispered.
‘But you are a senior jockey,’ Serena said. Rachel nodded ruefully.
‘Yes, but I’m not a bloke, am I?’
‘Well, that’s fucked. You can have the ride of Tsuyoi Red, and Serena can have Biographical. Then you’ll both get a Group One this spring.’ Shannon crossed his arms over his chest, a smug smile on his face. Rachel was surprised that Shannon had included their feelings in his decision.
Rachel nodded once, ‘Thank you. That sounds fair.’
‘Fair has nothing to do with it. Serena and Tsuyoi Red don’t get on as well as you did with him, and she has the type of finesse needed for Biographical, he’s a touchy colt.’ Oh, right, it was nothing to do with her or Serena, only their respective talents with his horses. Rachel smiled, Shannon’s horse-centric focus made the whole world right again. Heaven forbid if he valued their emotions over his horses’ needs.
‘Good. No more business now. Please sit down, Rachel, and join us for dinner,’ Mama’s command overrode everyone, and Rachel couldn’t help glancing at Serena to see the shared amusement as she sat down.
‘And how is Lisa, darling?’ Mama’s quiet question hit Rachel like a punch in the chest, and she grabbed the table to prevent her falling off the chair. Mama’s timing couldn’t be worse, asking the question as she sat down. She breathed in deep, her gaze on her empty plate.
‘We broke up.’
‘Oh, Rach.’ Serena leaped up from the table and threw her arms around Rachel’s shoulders, and Rachel let herself be consumed by the hug. Thank fuck for twin sisters. After a moment, the hurt subsided, and she cleared the burr in her throat.
‘I’ve moved in with Allira Mullagh. I’m going to be okay.’
‘Mullagh—as in Jacob, the footy player.’ Shannon surprised Rachel with his sudden interest in a person. Although Shannon had gone to primary school with Jacob, so perhaps she shouldn’t leap to conclusions. Shannon’s obsession was with horses and didn’t often extend to people; his simple interest in Jacob demonstrated his good opinion. Not that Rachel needed any new reasons to think well of Jacob.
‘Yes, his younger sister. We were at school together—you remember her, don’t you, Serena?’ Rachel twisted to glance at her twin who n
ow sat beside her at the table. Serena nodded. ‘She’s a doctor now and she needed a room-mate, so it’s worked out perfectly. Plus, she works longer hours than I do.’ Why had she said that pointless piece of information? Her family wanted her to be not alone, she didn’t need to give them more reasons to worry about her.
‘I told you that you can live on the farm anytime you want. Ride for Shannon,’ John said. Rachel shook her head, ready to protest quietly that she liked her city lifestyle.
‘You’d be bored out here with only forty horses in work. The city suits you better, but you should have told me.’ Serena whispered in her ear.
‘I know. It’s been a busy week, that’s all.’
‘That’s never stopped you before. I’m your twin, we make time for each other. That’s how it works,’ Serena said.
‘I haven’t avoided you on purpose.’ Rachel swallowed back the bitter taste as she lied to her twin, ‘It’s just that I’ve been riding every day, and I’ve spent every spare moment organising the move.’
‘Too busy to send a text? What happened?’
‘Hey, you two, stop whispering,’ Mama said.
Rachel shrugged her shoulders. Why couldn’t she take comfort in her twin wanting to help her?
‘John, where is Toshiko?’ Rachel looked around the room for her sister-in-law.
‘She’s on the phone. Why?’
‘A couple of things. Static Alarm’s owners have had an offer from Driscoll for her, and I thought Toshiko might want to put in a counter-offer since she’s been collecting some nice broodmare prospects lately.’
‘Driscoll is a toad,’ Serena said, and Rachel grinned. John’s eyes narrowed, and Rachel knew he’d be scheming to best Driscoll’s rumoured deep pockets. Driscoll had screwed over the farm when he’d pulled out of buying a share in Tsuyoi Red. If Toshiko hadn’t stepped up with the required funds, Merindah Park would be facing major financial troubles right now. Rachel had enjoyed watching John take a big punt on the horse, because the risky move reminded her of Dad, who was always chasing the next big thing. He would’ve loved John’s choice in going to Japan to buy a horse—just the type of wild expansive step Dad would’ve taken, if he’d thought of it.
‘He sure is. Toshiko will sort him out, I reckon. The other thing, I have a punting question for her.’ Rachel kept her comment deliberately vague to bait her siblings, and it worked. They all erupted in a cacophony of protest.
‘You can’t bet.’
‘It’s illegal.’
‘What is going on?’
‘Have you been dragged into something?’
‘Was it one of my horses?’
Rachel cackled with glee, letting out a whole bunch of tension. ‘No, Shannon, not one of yours.’ She waggled her head, ‘I would never …’
‘Rachel Alexandra Bassett. Tell me what is going on. Right. Now.’ Mama spoke in her ‘must be obeyed’ mother voice.
‘First things first. Of course, I know jockeys can’t bet. I’m not an idiot. A friend—’ Calling Jacob a friend sent a rush of heat across the back of her neck. Was he a friend? Or merely a hot guy she wanted to impress? No. Just because he was hot, she wasn’t going to fall into bed with him. She’d made that mistake too many times, she needed to stay strong and single.
‘—a friend wants to know about punter’s clubs, that’s all.’
‘That’s all. You had us worried there,’ John said.
Shannon winked. ‘Nicely done, sis.’ At least someone appreciated her attempts to rile her family. She chuckled and glanced at Serena whose eyes twinkled too. Serena’s brown eyes were prettier than hers, where Rachel had gotten black streaks through her brown in the genetic lottery, Serena had golden. It summed up the difference between them: Serena was content to stay home, and help out on the family farm, while Rachel moved away and indulged her wilder lifestyle.
‘You don’t need to ask Toshiko. Punter’s club are just a bit of fun, provided everyone agrees on how it works, that is.’ John spoke with his usual authority.
‘Since when have you had a flippant view of gambling?’
John smiled, ‘Since Toshiko.’ His eyes glowed with real love, and Rachel’s chest tightened. Why couldn’t she find someone who looked at her like that? She was glad John had found someone to love, just as her parents had loved each other. Her brothers didn’t understand the way Mama had stuck by Dad, even when things went bad. She’d understood because out of all her siblings, she’d been the closest to Dad, the most like him. She gasped. His enthusiasm for life was what she’d been looking to have in a partner, but Lisa was sorely lacking Dad’s loyalty. Lisa was a thrill-chasing extrovert, just like herself, and look where that had ended up for her—nowhere good. Maybe if she wanted to find true love, she needed to look for someone more like Mama. When she’d been a kid, she’d loved the way Mama grounded Dad’s wilder schemes, how she’d absorbed his passionate energy and tempered it, preventing him from complete disaster. Just as John’s cautious temperament was balanced by Toshiko’s calculated risk-taking. Maybe she needed someone to be the calm for her wild, someone sensible like Jacob. She held her breath, her teeth clenched tight together. No, she had to stop this reckless chasing of lust. The solo life would be her life now. Independent. Strong.
‘Hey, Toshiko, Rachel has a betting question for you,’ Shannon called out as Toshiko came into the room. John leaped to his feet and gathered his fiancée into a hug, whispering in her ear. She shook her head, and Rachel tried not to let the jealousy consume her. One day someone might care for her like John cared for Toshiko, but it wouldn’t be anytime soon. She let out the breath she’d been holding. Now was the time to focus on career, not the way her relationships kept failing miserably.
‘Are you alright, Toshiko?’ Mama stood up quietly and pulled out a chair. ‘Sit down.’
John steered her to the chair and Toshiko eased herself into it.
‘It’s fine. Just a shock, really.’
‘Are your family alright?’ Mama’s face crunched with concern.
Toshiko laughed, a weird burble of a laugh. ‘Mama discovered some interesting news. I’m not sure how I feel about it.’
‘You don’t have to say.’ John rubbed her shoulders.
‘Sit down. I’ll be fine. I don’t even know why I’m upset,’ Toshiko said. John sat beside Toshiko, and Rachel tried to let the conversation flow around her, her leg jiggling with impatience.
‘It’s ironic, really. Mama discovered that Yuki has two children. They came to the wedding as flower girls.’
‘Dodged a bullet there, then,’ Shannon said, in his usual matter-of-fact fashion, apparently oblivious to Toshiko’s upset blinking.
‘Yes. Poor Mama is stuck on the point that Papa can’t have known.’ Before Toshiko had agreed to marry John, her parents had arranged a marriage for her to the boy next door in Japan. Yuki had pulled out of the arrangement and proposed to his long-time girlfriend instead, using Toshiko’s father’s death as the reason to renege on the agreement, which left Toshiko free to move to Merindah Park to be with John.
‘Your poor mother. Not only did she have to go to Yuki’s wedding, when she hoped it would be your wedding, but to discover that he’d been with his bride for long enough to have two children …’ Mama summed up the situation.
‘Yes. It’s a shock. And to think I spent so long trying to do the right thing, when Yuki was doing whatever he wanted for the whole time,’ Toshiko said.
‘Typical bloke,’ Serena whispered Rachel’s exact thought, and Rachel locked her gaze on her twin as they silently shared a message of support.
‘Mama is quite upset. The whole situation has made her grief deeper. Perhaps I should visit her.’
Rachel’s toes tapped on the floor, and she bit her lip rather than speak up. She’d come to the farm specially to ask Toshiko a question, rather than drive directly back to Melbourne, and now the family’s other dramas were getting in the way of her query. She forced herself to wait, not wanting to soun
d petulant. Impatience was her worst character flaw. The discussion continued around her. One of the reasons she ended up in doomed relationships was her tendency to rush into things. She shrugged, she loved speed, in everything she did. Rachel pushed a potato around her plate until all the chatter and sympathy died down.
‘Now, Rachel, you had a question for me?’ Toshiko asked.
‘How did you know?’
‘John mentioned it. Something about a punter’s club.’
Rachel glanced over to her brother. ‘Yes, a friend of mine mentioned a punter’s club and wanted to know if it was legitimate.’ She hoped they couldn’t see the warmth spreading over her skin as she mentioned Jacob. She flicked her gaze over to Serena, who’d raised an eyebrow: A friend? There was no keeping secrets from a twin.
Toshiko shrugged, ‘Plenty of people create them for fun, to have a bet together and pool their funds.’
‘From what I understand, this one doesn’t work like that. They are asking people to invest, and then the money is bet for them, and the results posted afterwards.’
Toshiko grimaced. ‘That’s not good. Do they know which horses their money is going on before the races are run?’
‘I don’t know.’ Rachel peered at her sister-in-law, who drummed her fingers on the table.
‘Might be good to find out. It could be a pyramid scheme, or a Ponzi scam.’
Rachel gasped, ‘Pyramid scheme?’
‘What is a Ponzi scam? Is that different to a pyramid scheme?’ John asked. Rachel held her tongue, not caring for the technicalities. She only wanted an answer, so she could tell Jacob and be done with the whole drama. He tempted her, and she didn’t want to be tempted. She just wanted the answer to his question, so she could push him away before she did something reckless like chase the lust that crackled between them–tempting her with the potential for pleasure.