What if she was sleeping with the Maestro? He went with the flow. It didn’t matter to him the timing; he’d said as much. His lover traveling with him to Vienna could be a huge bonus.
“Do you know he gave me this dress?” Vanessa asked. She smoothed the front. Tight, with a slit up the back and low-cut in the front. The word “enthralling” came to mind. While Kieran likely had almost zero hand in the selection of the dresses, I wondered why I’d not been offered a style like this.
I forced a smile. “I told you, he can be very generous.”
Vanessa blushed. “I’m hoping this is a turn in our relationship. That he sees what an asset I am.” She set her hand on her hip.
I fought to keep my smile from turning into a snarl. “I’m sure it’s a sign of good things to come. Everything looks wonderful. That dress is lovely.”
“He said exquisite. He said I looked ‘exquisite.’” She mimicked the word in his Irish accent, and my heart fell.
“He’s right.” He and Vanessa were getting closer as he and I were growing further apart. I’d wanted and expected this, but having it shoved in my face hurt more than I’d imagined.
The distance growing between Kieran and me after I’d left the symphony had been my fault, and I’d deliberately kept long times between contact. He’d get over me, easier for him since he didn’t love me, and getting over a friendship was easier than getting over a great love.
“You look nice tonight, Rae. But you know, maybe you need something new. I have a friend who just started her own salon. Have you given any thought to a new haircut? Or maybe a fresh color? Something wild, like a purple stripe or bleached blonde?”
I blinked at her. “I haven’t thought about it.” I patted my hair self-consciously.
She waved her hand dismissively. “You’ve been busy. But the Maestro has a picture of you in a kitchen drawer that’s at least five years old, and your hair and makeup are exactly the same.”
Kieran had a picture of me in his kitchen? I’d never seen it. “I’m happy with me the way I am.”
Vanessa inclined her head, her cat eyes going wide. “Oh, well, that’s great, then. Excuse me,” Vanessa said, then went to greet the next guest coming through the front door.
Was she implying I was boring? I shook off her comment.
I stepped farther into the house, feeling like I was discovering his place for the first time. Subtle changes had been made, and I wanted to take them in. I didn’t like that I hadn’t been part of it, but I’d known this would happen. The Maestro was a storm of energy all his own.
He’d keep spinning, with or without me.
Without me, it seemed, worked for him. I should go home. I didn’t know why I’d come, and being here proved nothing, not about my attractiveness to him or anything else.
I leaned against a pillar and closed my eyes, breathing and trying to relax. I could simply walk out the front door, get on the subway, and go home. Then I’d slip out of this dress and these shoes, put on my summer pajamas, and watch a Christmas movie in my apartment, where the heat had been turned on, making it over eighty degrees inside.
But when I opened my eyes, my plan in place, Kieran’s eyes found mine. The connection sped up my pulse. Festive in a red Santa hat, he wore a gray suit that emphasized his lean frame. A genuine smile danced across my lips. He smiled in return, and longing poured through me.
He was speaking to a blue-haired woman I couldn’t recognize from behind. But he said something to her, and started toward me.
His gaze never broke contact with mine. “You’re beautiful tonight. Like you are every night. I like when your hair is loose like this.” He let his hand comb through the ends of my blonde hair, the curls at the ends wrapping around his fingers. He kissed my cheek, then almost my lips, catching the corner of my mouth. He tasted good. Thank God for my shapewear; it was the only thing holding me up.
“Thank you, Maestro.”
He gestured around with his left hand, which held a glass of champagne, the gold liquid swishing in the glass, bubbles clinging to the side. “What do you think of this place?”
“It’s festive.”
“Glory hired a company to do this. I hid at the hall for days.”
“Okay.” I wanted to ask why we hadn’t spoken, but the answer had greeted me at the door in a tight green dress.
He set his hand on my shoulder, and the contact heated me through. “I’m glad you got my invitation. I’d hoped you’d come tonight.”
That startled me. “You invited me?”
“Of course. Who else? I love Christmas. Glory suggested this as a goodwill gesture to our donors. Money has been slow to come in.”
He understood the stakes without the right cash flow. He blamed himself for struggling with new music, and he believed completing his symphony would help their financial troubles. I didn’t bring up his new composition, two years in the making; he could be moody about his music, and this party should be a celebration. “Thank you for including me.”
His hand skimmed down my arm and then squeezed my fingers. “Please don’t leave early. If you get tired, will you go upstairs and wait for me? I’ve missed you, and we need to talk.”
“Upstairs?” I thought of his bedroom and almost blacked out, my heart was beating hard.
“You hate crowds. If you need to escape, please go where you need to be. My bedroom will be empty.”
My mouth went dry. “Okay. Sure. I can do that.” I’d been upstairs in his house before, but never in his bedroom. I’d peeked inside the private space, but I respected that room as his.
Another wave of guests pulled him in another direction, and I wandered through the party. I got a glass of wine from the bar and sipped slowly, knowing one glass would be my limit. I risked a vicious two-day headache if I drank anything beyond that.
Across the room were people I recognized. I’d spoken to most of them on the phone at one time or another, arranging season tickets, sending thank-yous from the Maestro, and inviting them to special events.
Lawrence Yates, a generous patron of the symphony, approached. He smiled, flashing his perfect white teeth, and extended his hand. “Are you Rae? The Maestro’s assistant?”
Hadn’t he heard the news? Vanessa was in and I was out. “Former assistant, yes.”
“It’s great to meet you in person. I feel like we’ve spoken on the phone often enough that we should be old friends by now.”
Lawrence had always been polite to me, which I couldn’t say about all the symphony’s patrons. Some of them acted as if they were doing me a favor by speaking to me rather than Kieran. “It’s nice to finally meet you in person.”
“If you’re not working for the Maestro any longer, what’re you working on?”
I told him about the Monarch School and the music program. He seemed intrigued, and that raised my interest too. He could be a patron of the Monarch School as well as the symphony. For one thing, he earned major bank as a hedge fund manager. I wasn’t clear on what that was exactly, but he came from money, his parents were also patrons of the orchestra, and his mailing address was on Fifth Avenue. “Could I give you my number? I’d love if you’d come see the Christmas program next week. The children are talented, and it’s amazing to watch the next generation of performers hone their craft. Every time I listen to them, I get in the Christmas spirit all over again.”
Lawrence brushed his curly hair behind his ear. “I’d enjoy that. When I was a boy, I gave up on the piano. Other things distracted me. Mostly girls. Maybe I could’ve been like the Maestro if I’d stuck with it.”
If Lawrence had stuck with the piano, I didn’t think he’d have been like the Maestro, for many reasons, but mostly because a genius like Kieran came along only once in a century, a rare combination of abundant natural talent and the relentless drive to perfect it. But saying so was rude.
Lawrence gave me his number, and I sent him a text so he’d have mine. I’d entered the big leagues, using the event to network. Whi
le I was familiar with the concept, usually at these parties, I talked to the caterer and the waitstaff and the bartenders, fussing over the music and making sure the Maestro and his guests were happy.
At the thought of Kieran, I scanned the room almost reflexively. He was speaking to Dorothy Parthidge, a wealthy philanthropist who lived at a swanky address in Midtown. Dorothy’s father worked as a criminal attorney, and while I didn’t know what she did for a living, she liked to make big donations in return for VIP treatment at symphony events. Her parents had given close to three million the year before. The symphony needed a repeat donation from the Parthidges this year.
Kieran knew that too. The board of directors relied on him to use his charm and celebrity to bring in donations, and so he’d spend time with Dorothy. I tried not to let it bother me that she pressed her generous breasts against his bicep and had her toned arm through his. She leaned into him, her pixie-cut brown hair brushing his shoulder, laughing at whatever he was saying. He’d have sex with her later. Not because he slept with women to get donations for the symphony, as I’d implied he did previously (and it had been out of line and cruel), but because Dorothy was beautiful and fun and Kieran liked to have a good time.
I continued my conversation with Lawrence, which centered on music, a safe, comfortable topic.
Vanessa interrupted us. Politely, but it still annoyed me. I hated small talk, and if I had to strike up another conversation, it’d start that way. This conversation didn’t involve the weather or boring commentary on New York gossip. Lawrence excused himself, promised to find me later, and walked away.
“I’m sorry to interrupt. I got another call about Europe. Tell me you’ve thought it over and you’ll travel with the Maestro and the symphony. I can’t do it. I literally cannot do it. It’s too much.”
I focused on her words and tried to understand. “What is it that you can’t do? Glory told you there’d be travel with the position, didn’t she?”
Vanessa flipped her mahogany hair over her shoulder. “She told me, but the Maestro isn’t even speaking to me tonight. He ignores me, and when stuff isn’t done, the orchestra blames me. I think it’ll hamper the progress of our relationship for me to travel with him.”
That made no sense. Vanessa could use the trip to show Kieran what she could do. “I left the job for a reason.” Not that reason, but I didn’t need to tell Vanessa that.
“What if we both went?”
“The symphony won’t pay for that.”
“Then I’ll pay for it. My father will gladly cover the cost if I don’t have to be under this stress. He wants me to stick with this job because the Maestro is some kind of genius and this should be an amazing opportunity, but I have limits. We can use it like an intensive training program. I’ll learn from you, and then I won’t bother you again,” Vanessa begged. Her breasts were absolutely spilling from her dress, and since she was taller than me, they were distractingly close to my face. She smelled like lemons and limes.
“I’ll think about it.” The Maestro was talking to Dorothy. Still! She blinked up at him with her big brown doe eyes, watching him adoringly and with a preening smile. I’d seen that same expression on a hundred other women’s faces over the last five years.
“My other option is to sleep with him,” Vanessa said, following my gaze across the room and sighing.
“What?” I must’ve misheard her.
“I’ll sleep with him. That’ll win him over. He’s kinda crazy, but he’s also really hot. What’s he like in bed? Seriously, don’t jerk me around. I know you two had sex. I imagine it would be like mad monkey sex, lots of moving around and screaming.”
Surprise torpedoed me. Why did everyone think I’d slept with Kieran? “We didn’t.” Jealousy swept over me. I wished I owned my sexuality the empowering way Vanessa did.
Vanessa leaned in, her eyebrows drawn together. “You never had sex with him? How did you manage that? He’s like sex walking. Crazy sex walking, but how fun. I bet he’s wild in bed.”
I wouldn’t know. I’d heard stuff, as much as I tried not to. He liked sex and probably had some proficiency at it, the same way he mastered everything he applied himself to. “We worked together. I didn’t disrupt our professional relationship.” Sounded lame. Truth: he didn’t want to, and I was too inexperienced to figure out how to seduce him.
This dress wasn’t even catching his interest.
A grin crossed her face, and her eyes brightened. “I heard he’s fantastic. Like, passionate and exciting and keeps going all night. Like, over and over. I haven’t had sex in three weeks. I could use a really good screw. It’ll take the edge off my tension and break the ice between us.”
Why was she talking about this? My mouth grew dry, and I took a long swallow of my wine. Plus, her words brought to mind having sex with Kieran and that infused me with longing. “He’s already working on something tonight.” I pointed to Dorothy.
Vanessa rolled her eyes. “I don’t have to do it tonight. Maybe at the office. Extra hot, right?”
Panic flailed in my stomach as I tried to think of a way out and to talk Vanessa down a different path. Not that Kieran slept with anything that moved, but if the right woman tried to seduce him, he’d go for it. “He might not respond the way you think. I’ve seen him with a lot of women, and he doesn’t necessarily have a serious long-term relationship with any of them. Which could make it awkward for you.”
Kieran broke away from Dorothy and started walking toward the private terrace at the back of the town house. While not large for this neighborhood, it was a huge bonus. He had another terrace on the fourth floor that I’d never been on.
He didn’t glance in my direction as he walked outside. Now Dorothy wore his Santa hat.
More wine. I definitely needed more wine.
The crowd followed him as if being pulled by an invisible string. I refilled my glass and waited for the house to be almost empty before going onto the terrace.
I laughed when I saw him and his dear old friend David Malone holding violins. The fire pit was lit, and large heaters blew over the crowd, taking the cold snap out of the air.
At these events, guests often enjoyed entertainment beyond conversation. It got them excited about the symphony, and they made big donations the following day. To my knowledge, impromptu performances came at the whim of the musicians. I’d been to parties where Kieran didn’t play, although he usually would if asked directly.
When David was around, their competitive nature meant they often picked up their instruments. David was currently touring with a small group of musicians playing at sold-out venues around the globe. He was the exact physical opposite of Kieran: stocky and solid, with blond hair and blue eyes, dressed in bright colors that drew attention.
I only had eyes for Kieran. Even in a muted gray suit, he held my focus. He’d unknotted his tie, and it hung down on either side of his white dress shirt.
What proceeded was like a dance-off, but with violins. Anyone who had experience with the instruments would recognize the talent, the expressiveness. Almost any instrument in Kieran’s hands sounded better than average, but how the violin could sound different when played by two different musicians mesmerized me.
I found a quiet spot in the corner of the terrace, closed my eyes, and listened. Amazing. I could tell when Kieran played without seeing who held the instrument. His music had a quality that transcended the notes.
“You love the music, don’t you?” Lawrence appeared behind me and placed his hands on my shoulders.
Surprised by his touch, I shrugged him off. “It’s wonderful that the Maestro and his friends are generous with their music.”
Lawrence circled around and stood in front of me, a strand of his curly blond hair escaping his coiffure to fall over his forehead. “It’s great to meet a woman who loves music as much as I do. I know you gave me your number for work purposes, but could I take you to dinner?”
Maybe I could fall in love with Lawrence. He was
great on paper and absolutely handsome, his curly hair touching the tops of his ears. Running my fingers through that texture would be delightful.
“Dinner would be nice. I work late every night with the children until Christmas.”
“I don’t mind a late dinner,” Lawrence said. “I’ll get in touch this week.” He walked off to talk to someone else who’d waved in his direction.
My eye caught Dorothy in the crowd of listeners, and I struggled with my jealousy as she inched closer to Kieran.
When Kieran finished playing and let the violin drop to his side, she immediately clung to him. I could tell from Kieran’s expression he didn’t like it either but took great pains to appear cheerful and excited. Despite the cold, he’d removed his suit jacket and had rolled his shirtsleeves to the elbows.
After several more back-and-forth rounds of music, David and Kieran trying to up the ante, and others got into the game. The Maestro stepped away and watched, with Dorothy lingering at his side.
I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to be beside him, but now that I wasn’t in his employ, I didn’t belong here.
I was an outsider.
For the last five years, I’d been his partner and his friend. People were used to seeing us together. Whispering in his ear, pulling him away for a few minutes, wouldn’t have been unusual. People would assume we were talking business, or maybe people, like Vanessa, believed we’d been lovers. The realization that wouldn’t happen, ever, left me feeling incredibly empty.
Empty, sad, and tired. I needed to sleep.
Kieran had asked me to go upstairs and wait instead of taking off for the night. But he was clearly going to be headed in the same direction with Dorothy.
How awkward would it be for me to go to his bedroom and have them find me there?
I’d glimpsed Kieran’s bedroom only a few times. I didn’t know what was in there. I mean, the usual, like clean clothes and books, but it wasn’t like the rest of his life, where I knew exactly where everything was.
Feeling bold, curious, and a little down, I went back inside the house. I picked up a bottle of spring water and walked up the stairs. I wouldn’t stay long. I’d disappear without speaking to Kieran. If he wanted to talk to me, he’d call.
The Maestro Page 9