The Maestro

  “More,” I said, because now that I was his lover, I wanted it to be fantastic for him. Amazing. The best he’d ever had.

  He lifted my knee, and I brought my heel to his lower back. He pushed harder, more insistently inside me.

  I tried not to cry out. “You’re too big. Please be careful.”

  He let out a growl that was more animal than human. “You’re so hot. It’s taking every ounce of control to be careful. I want to fuck you hard.”

  His words, the cadence in his voice, the deep tones made my insides tighten, and an orgasm started growing inside me. He brought his hand between us, circling my clit. He’d made me come with his hands before, and the same pressure built between my legs.

  Kieran pistoned his hips sending shockingly sensuous feelings rippling through me. The pleasure escalated, step by step, and then I was coming around him, squeezing him tight. Having him inside me during an orgasm made it that much more intense.

  When I finished, he brushed my hair away from my face. “Are you in pain?”

  I shook my head. “I’m okay.”

  He started to pull away, and I grabbed his arms. “What are you doing?”

  “Getting something to clean you up.”

  He made me feel good, needed. “Please don’t go. I want you to finish.”

  He leaned away and even that movement against my sensitive body brought a wave of pain.

  I hid my reaction. I wanted this. “Make me come again,” I said.

  That got his attention. He pushed inside me once more and held my hips. He kept making love to me, slowly, then with hard snaps of his hips. He drove me crazy, and the pleasure mixed with pain brought me to the edge.

  His face tightened, his fingers dug into my hips, and he let his forehead rest on mine. I knew he’d finished.

  I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his shoulders. For the first time in our relationship, I was his and he was mine. I wanted to press this moment into my brain and never forget.

  “Please don’t go.” Panic rose inside me. We’d shared this amazing connection, and now he’d go away. We’d only had tonight. That’d been the deal. I’d thought this was a good idea, but now I wasn’t sure.

  “I’m going to the bathroom to get rid of the condom and get you a warm washcloth. You’re bleeding.”

  I buried my face against his chest. I mouthed, I love you, Kieran where he couldn’t see the words. When I released him, he went to the bathroom and returned with a cloth. He wiped the inside of my thighs and between my legs.

  Then he took care of the washcloth and returned to bed with me. He held me close to him. “I want to do you doggie style next. I want you to look at me over your shoulder and let me ride you.”

  “Next?” I asked.

  He nuzzled my neck, below my ear. “When you’re not in pain.”

  “I’m not in pain,” I said. I’d been thinking this was finished, and to hear he wanted more…

  Lust renewed and pulsed through me.

  “You’ll be too sensitive now. Give it time. It’s not fun if it’s not good for you too.”

  We’d agreed to one night only. What did he mean by time? The arousing promise sent my hopes impossibly high.

  13

  I woke with Kieran’s lean hardness pressed against my back. He was totally naked, his powerful body the perfect heating device, his strong leg tucked between mine, his big body making me comfortable and safe.

  His hard cock, nestled between us, stirred like it sought out my body.

  I shifted, and he kissed the back of my neck. His leg nudged mine up. I heard the crinkle of foil and then he was working his hips, sinking inside me. After a brief stinging pain, ecstasy flooded over me.

  I pushed back against him, taking him deep. Each time he pumped, he felt bigger, harder. His breathing escalated, and his hands came to my breasts. Intense pleasure washed over me, and I came hard and quick.

  He held me tight in his arms as he climaxed with me.

  He rolled me onto my back. “Good morning.”

  I smiled up at him and enjoyed the sight of his messy hair and his deep brown eyes. “Morning.”

  He said something in Gaelic and then kissed my temple. “We have to be at the airport in an hour.”

  I didn’t want to think about business yet. I wanted to revel in the night I’d spent with him. “I know.”

  His hand slid over my belly in a possessive way. “Do you want to sleep a few more minutes?”

  Tempting, but I should keep to the schedule and be available to help anyone not feeling well. “I want to be with you.” Was that too much? This was supposed to be one night, a thought that was utterly depressing.

  “We’ll be together all day,” he said, and stroked my hair away from my face.

  We got ready together, and we shared the same space easily. He hummed a tune, something I didn’t recognize, and he occasionally stopped to make notes on a sheet of paper.

  “What are you doing?”

  “That piece I’ve been struggling with. I think I have it. I think I know what wasn’t working.”

  I didn’t want to jinx him and hid my surprise that he was making progress without immediately tearing it up.

  Most of the orchestra had recovered from their bout of sickness, and though some seemed pale, we made the plane flight and managed to get to the rehearsal hall in Milan. Still struggling with nausea and headaches, Vanessa retreated to her hotel room when we arrived.

  With renewed energy, Kieran sank into the performance. As I handed out the notated sheet music, Joseph muttered, “Someone got laid last night.”

  My face burned hot. “What?” Was it written on my face?

  Joseph adjusted his cello against his large thigh and pointed at Kieran. “He’s practically skipping.”

  My cheeks flushed hot and I turned away and let my hair fall over my face to hide my reaction.

  I finished distributing the papers. When I thought of Kieran, shivers of pleasure washed over me. I tried not to make it obvious when I looked at him, but I’d never forget what had passed between us. He’d been that good.

  The orchestra sensed his excessive energy and responded to it. Maybe it was sex; maybe he’d been repressed being with me for the last month and now he’d been jolted back to himself.

  When the orchestra left for their lunch break, Kieran took my hand and pulled me behind the stage, moving aside a heavy red curtain. He turned me, pressing my back against the cool wall. Nestled between the velvet curtain and the wall, we had a private space.

  His hardness pressed into my hip. “Let me…love you.”

  “Someone will see,” I whispered.

  He kissed the side of my neck, and his hands moved to my breasts, massaging, squeezing. “I can’t stop wanting you. Now that I know how it feels, I won’t ever stop wanting you.” He kissed me until I was breathless and panting for air.

  “I want you too.” I touched him, moving my hand up and down his cock over his pants.

  “Let’s go back to my room and order room service,” he said.

  I nodded eagerly, and we hurried to his room. The bright blue walls were soaked in the sunlight pouring in through the pale cream sheers. I wondered if my room would be half as nice or if Kieran always got the upgraded space.

  He called for room service, and while he waited on the phone, I took off my clothes and crawled onto the mattress. His eyes riveted on me, his jaw slackened.

  “Wait, sorry, could you repeat that?” he said into the phone. A blush crept over his cheeks. He placed the order and then shoved the phone back into its cradle.

  I knelt up and beckoned to him. “What’s taking so long?”

  He sprinted toward the bed and bounced on it, tugging at his tie as I worked the buttons on his blue button-down. “I almost lost my mind on the phone. What game is this?”

  I slid my hands into his shirt, letting my fingers roam over his hot, taut skin. “One I want to play with just you.”

  He shu
cked off his pants and shifted behind me, running his hand down my spine. I heard the crinkle of a condom wrapper and then, with gentle pressure, he bent me down, wrapping his arm around my waist. “Arch your back.”

  I did as he asked, and then his rock-hard cock pressed against my perineum.

  “Please be gentle,” I said, even as desire and passion urged me to push back hard and bring him deep inside me.

  “Always. Always gentle with you.” He said another word in Gaelic and then he filled me, thick and determined.

  He powered inside me deeper and harder. I stretched around him, and he filled me to the depth of my soul. I shuddered with every hard thrust, and he kept a rhythm that made me crazy.

  On the edge of surrender, pleasure swirled inside me, faster and faster.

  He slammed into me, the pace so frantic, I could scarcely draw a full breath. I couldn’t hold back and as tremors shook me, I shouted out and rocked my hips, letting the last of my orgasm erupt from my core.

  Then he arched hard into me, stilling, and he roared with his release. I wanted to see his face, and when I glanced over my shoulder at him, his eyes were closed and he wore an expression of absolute fulfillment.

  I collapsed on the mattress, tired and spent, relief vibrating through me.

  He’d told me one night, and as happiness and hope lifted inside me, I wouldn’t call his attention to the timeline.

  * * *

  Even missing five ill musicians, the performance blew me away and brought everyone in the room to their feet with wild applause, clapping, and chants for an encore.

  My anxiety came after the performance. The prime minister had arranged a reception. As in every other city, women flocked to Kieran. They batted their eyelashes at him and leaned against him, touching his arm.

  What would he do? Our night plus had ended, and we’d had sex doggie style, which had been his request.

  Why didn’t it feel over? I focused on talking to the orchestra, congratulating them for their beautiful performance.

  Joseph strolled over, a glass of champagne in his large hand. He took a sip. “He’s in love with you.”

  I blinked at him. He’d picked up on something before I’d left the orchestra’s employ, but now we must’ve been staring at each other too often. “The Maestro? He isn’t.” I couldn’t meet Joseph’s eyes, afraid he’d see the hope burning in mine.

  He sniffed. “He was a miserable wreck when you left. Now that you’re back, it’s clearer than ever. I can’t believe that I missed it before. I’m usually good at spotting workplace things. He checks with you when he needs to make a decision. He asks you about everything. When you’re next to him, he’s happy.”

  “I’m training Vanessa.” I don’t know why I said that. She couldn’t take my place. She didn’t have the passion for the job the way I did. She didn’t care about Kieran the way I did. Joseph had struck close to the truth.

  Joseph grazed his hand over his spiked white hair. “Right. She won’t be you. But Maestro doesn’t want her to be. He wants you.”

  “We have a special relationship.”

  With a wink, Joseph suggested, “Tell him you love him too. See what happens. He’ll say it back.”

  Kieran wouldn’t say it back. He’d already told me he couldn’t be the man I needed, and therefore, he wouldn’t let himself love me as more than a friend because it’d be unfair to me. “I’ll talk to him about our situation. If I can figure out what to say.”

  Joseph rested his hand on my shoulder. “I know it’s not easy. But please do something. I can’t stand him when he’s without you. No one can.”

  He patted me lightly with his huge hand, then strolled away to speak to another cellist.

  Kieran was chatting to the gaggle of women. I couldn’t stand the idea of him making love to any of them the way he’d done with me. My body was sore and my thighs ached, his invisible imprint everywhere, burned deep into my soul. Was he always that passionate and intense?

  Vanessa strutted into the soiree, her cheeks a little pale and her hair in a braid. She waved and hurried over when she saw me.

  “How are you feeling?” I asked.

  She patted her dark plait self-consciously. “I’m feeling better. I think I’m finally over it.”

  We talked about the performance, which she’d missed, but I told her about the notes I’d made.

  “I’ll give them to him at breakfast, like you did,” Vanessa said. She frowned in the Maestro’s direction.

  “Maybe you should talk to him now,” I said. Interrupt those ladies practically lying on his arms so I won’t lose it.

  She squinted in his direction. “I don’t think I should go over there now. He’s involved with his groupies.”

  Maybe I’d interrupt. March up to him and kiss him on the mouth, marking my territory. How would he react to that?

  Vanessa shrugged. “Then again, I guess I should check in. It’s been a while.” She walked to him and pushed her way through the crowd.

  He excused himself and sauntered away with her. Relief passed over me. I’d been tense, my toes curled in my shoes and my fists clenched. I relaxed, and the tension left my neck and shoulders.

  When the evening wrapped up, the orchestra returned to their rooms for the night. We had a flight early in the morning.

  I wanted to say good night to Kieran. I wanted to talk to him with really any excuse.

  He stood speaking to a man in a tuxedo in the lobby of the hotel.

  I broke into the conversation. “Excuse me, please.”

  Kieran stepped away, taking my elbow. “Thank you for that. I tried to break away from that conversation ten minutes ago.”

  I grinned. “What can I say? I’m here for you.”

  He ran his hand down my hair, tucking some of it behind my ear. “I want to write down another melody. I hear it in my head. It’s been nonstop.”

  “You should do that. Tonight.” Instead of sleeping with one of the women lingering around the perimeter of the room like they were waiting to jump on him as he left.

  “Tonight, I have other plans.” He paused, and my heart sank. But he stared at me so hard that my pulse pounded and my nipples pebbled against my bra.

  He brought his mouth close to my ear. “One more night. Give me one more night.”

  He was asking me to come with him to his room? “One more pretend night.”

  He cupped my chin and lifted my face to meet his gaze. His eyes drilled into mine. “What we have isn’t pretend.”

  Fragile, delicate hope took flight. “We agreed.”

  “We agreed that whatever happens, it wouldn’t change that I cannot be your husband.” He dropped his hand.

  Husband. That word dropped thick and heavy, but I smiled and straightened my shoulders. “Of course. I understand the arrangement.”

  We left the lobby, not touching, walking side by side.

  When we got inside his hotel room, Kieran laid me down in his bed and made slow, thrilling love to me.

  The heat, the passion, and his perfection drove into the furthest reaches of my soul.

  14

  Once in New York, my relationship with Kieran had to change.

  I knew it. He knew it. We accepted it.

  The Monarch School awaited me. Glory would return to the symphony. I’d go back to sleeping in my apartment because we couldn’t keep having sex and telling each other it meant nothing. I couldn’t keep pretending it was all make-believe, that my heart didn’t totally belong to him, that my body didn’t crave his touch.

  Kieran meant everything to me, and now I needed to give him up for real. I needed to walk away and not turn back.

  I sorted my mail, caught up on emails and voicemails, including one from Sarah, my friend who managed the art gallery, and a similar message from Officer Sinclair that Charlie had pleaded guilty to assault and would serve thirty days in jail. What he’d done would remain on his permanent record, and since I hadn’t heard from him, I hoped that meant he’d learned
his lesson and would stay away from me.

  I went back to work on a Wednesday. The school was thrilled with Glory’s lessons. They were writing a piece for the school newspaper about her career and the work she’d done with her classes. Another article would feature the orchestra’s tour. The school had requested a quote from me about my trip with the orchestra and how the musical genius Kieran had changed the way I viewed music and education.

  My article would feature the type of story the parents would love, calculated bull crap to make the school sound like they’d been visionary in hiring me and lucky to have the connection to Kieran.

  What’d happened between Kieran and me had profoundly changed me. By Friday, Kieran had kept his physical distance, although he’d messaged me several times, twice to tell me his horticulturalist did great caring for his plants. I tried to play it cool. I had to get caught up on my lesson plans and with my students.

  The gnawing in my stomach and the breathlessness and the tightness in my chest would dissipate eventually. Time and distractions would do their jobs.

  Our one night together had turned into two weeks, but neither of us mentioned that. I missed Kieran, and while he’d been sweet to me and honest about his limitations, I couldn’t ask for more from him. He couldn’t give me more, and I knew the danger of letting our relationship linger in a confusing place.

  Vanessa called on the Saturday after we’d returned. “I have huge news. You will not believe this.”

  I waited. I bet I’d believe it.

  “The second chair violist is retiring!”

  Abby Summers had announced her retirement. Good for her! Her husband had retired the year before after being a plumber for fifty-three years. She’d been dropping hints that she wanted to join him, but giving up her chair would be huge for a new musician who’d earned the slot. “That’s wonderful.”

  “Kieran and Glory are having open auditions,” Vanessa said.

  Though a member leaving the orchestra was rare, I’d been through it a few times. “That’s great. Those are coveted spots.”