Her eyes slowly slid to meet mine. “Nothing.”
I felt the blood leave my face. “Nothing? Literally nothing?”
“Nothing useful whatsoever,” she said. “The entire book was nothing but a mundane story describing Le’Lana in the barest of terms. It was presented as a tale of fiction, but there was no plot and not one character was introduced. There was no mention of Satsara, Ailan, or Darius. Not even the words Morkara, Elvan, or Faeran were used. The last page was the only thing that held even the slightest relevance, and even it told me nothing useful.”
“What did it say?” I asked. Cora pushed the book toward me, and I eagerly flipped to the end. I turned to the final page.
However, the kingdom of Le’Lana couldn’t last forever. A devastating battle swept the land. The queen of the land cast a spell to put an end to the fight and keep the magic safe forevermore. Yet, the spell could not be completed as planned. Once the spell was ended, a small part of Le’Lana remained. The former kingdom of Le’Lana and the magic land surrounding it disappeared into the mists, while Lela was born into a new world.
The survivors from Le’Lana who now resided in Lela continued on with their Ancient traditions. Some say you can still catch glimpses of them. Some say you can still feel their Ancient magic. Some say their descendants live on today in groups called the Forest People.
Thus ends the tale of the Once and Former Magic of Ancient Lela.
I flipped to the next page, finding nothing but blank paper. “That can’t be all. Are you sure there was nothing else?”
Cora rubbed her temples and sighed. “I’ll read it again tomorrow and see if I can glean any further meaning. Perhaps there was truth between the lines, and I was just too tired to see it.”
I refused to accept I’d faced death to get to Dermaine for nothing. “Are you sure there wasn’t something? What about the part about the Forest People? Is it not strange that she mentioned the very people who raised you?”
“It isn’t news to me,” she said. “I was raised with tales about how the Ancient Faeran were the ancestors of the Forest People. Once I learned about the veil, it finally made sense how that came to be. When the veil was completed, whoever remained in the central part of Le’Lana was left behind and forced into our world. The Faeran of Lela eventually became the Forest People.”
“But Ailan was Elvan, wasn’t she?” I asked. “If she wrote this, then she obviously knew of the Forest People, who you say once were Faeran. Did the Forest People never mention what happened to the Elvan people? If Ailan knew of them, they should have known about her—”
“That’s it!” Cora’s eyes grew wide as she shot to her feet. “She knew about them. The Forest People have been living in secret for hundreds of years. Hardly anyone knows of them, but she did. She may have even lived amongst them, at least for a time.”
“Then why have you never heard of her?”
Cora paced along the length of the table. “She hid her identity in writing this book, calling herself A.I. Lan. Perhaps she hid her identity amongst the Forest People too. They may have heard of her without even realizing it.”
“How will you find out? If she hid her identity, she probably didn’t want to be known.”
Cora’s face fell for a moment, then her eyes slid to the book. “Why else write that? Why else write something so bland unless it contained a fragment of truth that she wanted someone to discover? Perhaps she wants to be found, but only by the right people. We have one clue, and I’m going to follow it.”
The determination in her eyes and in the set of her shoulders made me feel small. I could never be brave like her. Could I? “You’re going to the Forest People, aren’t you?”
She brought a nail between her teeth and returned to pacing. “I must go immediately.”
“What about the dragons?” Fear seized my mind as an enormous shadow danced in my memory.
“I won’t need to worry about them,” she said with a shrug. “If I can find Salinda in my heart and mind, I can find the Forest People and Travel straight there.”
I looked down at Liam, sleeping peacefully, yet all I could see was fire. “What about me? And Liam? What if the dragon comes for us here at Dermaine?”
Cora paused and studied my face, and I was sure she could see the terror that shattered my core. “You’ll be safe here,” she said, although her tone was unconvincing.
I blinked away the tears that threatened to spill from my eyes and stood from my seat, shoulders back and chin high in an attempt to emulate her brave composure. “Of course.”
It seemed to convince Cora. Her eyes left my face, and she went to retrieve the book from the table. “I’ll leave first thing tomorrow.”
As she swept across the room toward the door, I felt something stirring in my chest. A fire, but not the fire of fear. It rose to my throat, and my shoulders trembled with the effort to keep it at bay. Before Cora could reach the door, I released it. “Wait.”
She turned to face me, brow raised.
Within me, two forces raged at one another. One was a flame of calm determination that compelled my legs to move toward Cora, certain of what I had to do. The other was a shadow of fear, shouting and screaming at me to stay silent, stay safe. I followed the force of calm, of truth, and stood before Cora. “Did you mean what you said about the Forest People? That they would help me train in the Arts?”
Cora looked surprised as she nodded. “Yes.”
“Then you aren’t leaving without me.”
* * *
Larylis
With dragging feet, I made my way up the stairs to my room. The council meeting had lasted most of the day. My mind felt like a pile of mush, and as expected, no progress had been made against the dragons. No one knew a thing about them. We could do nothing more than what Teryn was doing at Ridine—send scouts to watch the skies, ready our archers, and send word to our people to stay indoors whenever possible. At least I’d been successful at planting the rumor about the King of Syrus like Teryn had done.
Now all of Lela is aware of you, Darius. Watching. Waiting.
As I approached my chamber, I was surprised to see light flickering beneath the door. Mareleau must still be awake. At least I had her to look forward to.
I opened the door and found Mareleau in bed lying on her side, eyes open, facing a bassinet on a stand beside the bed. “This is the first night he’s slept outside my arms,” she said without looking at me.
I began to undress, pulling my tunic over my head. “You don’t seem too happy about that.”
“He feels so far away in that cold thing.” She frowned at the bassinet.
I couldn’t help but smile. Never had I imagined Mareleau would become so tender in motherhood. I was certain she’d be a good mother, but I’d figured she’d follow tradition and turn Liam over to a wet nurse for most of the day. I was reminded that there was still much to learn about the woman who was my wife.
Once undressed, I climbed into bed next to Mareleau, feeling my muscles and bones melt into the comfort of the blankets. I put an arm around Mareleau and nestled my face into the back of her neck, breathing in the scent of her skin and hair. It was enough to lull me to sleep.
“Larylis.”
My eyes shot open. Mareleau was stiff in my arms. “Yes?”
“There’s something I need to tell you.”
The trepidation in her voice returned my mind to wakefulness. I sat up and rubbed my eyes. “What is it?”
She rolled onto her back. “Cora found the book.”
I put a hand to my forehead, surprised I’d forgotten to even ask how the search had gone. Relief flooded my chest as I leaned on my elbow. “That’s great! Did she read it?”
Mareleau nodded. “It wasn’t as helpful as we’d hoped, but it did give her a clue about the Forest People.”
“The Forest People?”
“Ailan mentioned them in the book,” she said. “So there’s a chance they knew something of her.”
“I suppose that’s an important clue,” I said, wondering why Mareleau still seemed so tense. “Is that all?”
She sat up, facing me. “She’s leaving tomorrow morning to find them. I’m going with her.”
Shock tore through me, followed by fear, then anger. The more her words echoed through my mind, the less sense they made. “What are you talking about? Why would you go with her?”
She lifted her chin, and her words came out firm and steady. “I want to train my powers in the Arts. Cora says the Forest People can help me.”
“There’s time for that later. Your place is here with me. And Liam.”
Her expression faltered before returning to its stony mask. “Obviously, I’ll be taking Liam with me. I have already decided. This is important to me.”
The calm in her voice unsettled me, but I forced myself to counter her words with reason. “All right. Then I’ll come with you. I’ll tell the council—”
“No.” Finally, her face fell, tears glazing her eyes. “Lare, the council needs you here. Our people need you. I can’t take you away—”
“If our people need me, then they need you too. You’re their queen.”
She shook her head. “You are King of Vera, and they need you more.”
“I don’t care!” I shouted. “If you are leaving, then so am I. I’ve sworn to protect you, to protect Liam. I will watch this kingdom burn before I let you be in danger.”
She opened her mouth, then snapped it shut along with her eyes. She lowered her head with a sigh. “There was a time when that kind of dedication to me would have filled me with joy. But something is changing. Something inside me is burning, telling me that isn’t right.”
Heat rose to my cheeks followed by a deep shame. Was it because she was scolding me? Or because she was right? “I don’t care. It’s the truth.”
“Lare, I have to do this. I’m tired of being helpless. I’m tired of not knowing how to protect myself or the people I love.”
I clenched my jaw. “I forbid you to leave.”
Mareleau lifted her head and narrowed her eyes at me, cheeks a fiery red. Her voice came out cold. “Is that really what you want to do? Forbid me? Control me? Is that what it means to be my husband?”
My chest heaved as I stared back at her, fury burning my veins. Then my shoulders fell, and the fury melted away to reveal what it had been hiding—fear, shame, agonizing pain. “No,” I croaked, tears stinging my eyes. “No, I didn’t mean that.”
Mareleau’s posture relaxed, her face softening as tears trailed down her cheeks. “Larylis, I love you. I love how badly you want to protect me. You know I’ve always loved your reckless passion. But things are different now. Almost overnight, our entire world has changed. There’s something happening that is bigger than me. Bigger than us.
“All my life I’ve felt useless and unimportant. I’ve felt stifled and unheard. To combat that, I manipulated others to get my way, acted more important than I felt. It made me selfish and cold and cruel, and not once did I regret it. When I felt small, I inflated myself so that I could feel bigger, stronger, better than others. Now that I know I’m meant for more, that I have a bigger role than I ever imagined, I feel smaller than ever. Yet, I have this feeling I can do something about that.
“I don’t know what it means to be the Mother of Prophecy, but it has given me a sense of purpose. I’m not willing to let that go. I’m not willing to continue to feel powerless in the face of danger. I want to know what I’m capable of.”
“I understand,” I whispered. “Just let me come with you.”
She reached a hand to my cheek. “I want to say yes. You have no idea how badly I want to. But it isn’t right. You have a duty to perform, and so do I.”
Her words felt like lightning tearing at my heart. How could I let her leave without me? How could I let her take Liam, my son, whom I’d barely had a chance to love and hold? Yet, she was right. I couldn’t leave Vera without a king when I’d only just returned. Teryn had let Cora come here on her own. Why couldn’t I let Mareleau do the same?
I am no one without her.
The words came from deep within, heavy as stone as I lifted them to the surface of my mind. Were they true? Was I obsessed with protecting her for her safety? Or for mine?
Who am I without her? Am I a king? Or a fool?
I didn’t know the answer, but as I searched the eyes of the woman I loved, I saw something new in them. She was growing, searching, changing. There was only one thing I could do; I had to support her.
I had to let her go.
13
FERRAH
Cora
In the shadows before dawn, I waited in Dermaine’s palace gardens, listening for sounds of hoof beats and footsteps. The gardens weren’t nearly as elegant and intricate as the ones at Verlot, but they provided the cover and quiet we needed for our early morning mission.
The hoof beats came first, almost too quiet to hear. Hara tossed her mane as a hint of white shone behind a high wall of shrubbery. Valorre approached and nuzzled my shoulder. I stroked the side of his neck, but my muscles remained tensed as I extended my hearing and listened for any sign that we weren’t alone.
Mareleau had assured me the gardens would be secured until well after sunrise but sneaking Valorre onto unfamiliar grounds sent my heart racing. Our mission could be upended with just one set of curious eyes, one unruly maid sneaking about in the dark, one misplaced guard. I longed for the cover of trees, for the quiet of my beloved forests, but the land surrounding Dermaine was flat for miles. The gardens were the best we could manage while attracting the least amount of attention.
I pulled my cloak tighter around me, trying to ignore the icy air that stung my nostrils. After years of living in makeshift tents amongst the Forest People, all it took was a few months of living in a castle to lower my tolerance for cold. However, the Forest People were always prepared for winter and didn’t tend to suffer from the season. I knew they would be settled somewhere in western Kero, where the winter was mildest. The tents would be made from skins instead of cloth, and soups and teas made with warming herbs and spices would be boiling over the cook fires.
Footsteps sounded down the garden path, pulling me from my thoughts. I held my breath as I waited for the approaching figure to be revealed.
“Cora?” Mareleau’s voice came out in a loud whisper. “Are you here?”
I let out a sigh of relief and walked forward just as Mareleau’s shadowed silhouette rounded the corner. “I’m here.” As she came nearer, I was struck with a sudden sorrow that seemed to echo in the puffy skin around her eyes and the down-turned corners of her lips. I breathed in deeply, then exhaled, releasing the feelings that had seeped into me. “Are you all right, Mare?”
Liam squirmed in her arms, as if he too could sense his mother’s pain, and Mareleau began to bounce him gently. “I’ll be fine.”
As eager as I was to take her words as truth and begin our journey, I knew she was anything but fine. “What’s wrong? You can tell me.”
Her eyes locked on mine, and for a moment, I was certain she would snap at me to leave her alone. Then her shoulders dropped, and her eyes fell on Liam. “Leaving Larylis behind feels horrible. Yet, on the other hand, it feels like the right thing to do.” She lifted her head, and I could see trails of fresh tears moving down her face. “I have no idea if I’m making the right choice. I don’t know what feeling to listen to.”
“You’re beginning to touch on your inner guidance, aren’t you?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know what it is, and I’m not sure if I like it.”
“I know what it is,” I said. “It can feel scary and confusing at first, but it’s a sign your gifts in the Arts are growing. It’s hard to know what feelings to trust, but the more you follow them, the more you will learn what feelings are your true inner guidance and which ones are of fear.”
She nodded but didn’t seem comforted by my words.
I placed a hand on her
arm. “I know what you’re going through. If you aren’t ready, you don’t have to do this. You don’t have to come with me.”
She lifted her chin, her jaw set. “Yes, I do. I don’t know if I’m making the right choice, but I know I have to do this anyway.”
“Then we need to leave,” I said, my voice gentle. I gave her a comforting smile, then turned toward Hara and Valorre and climbed into Hara’s saddle. “I’ll have you ride Valorre again.”
She looked from me to Valorre, then down at Liam, and I realized she was debating how to climb upon Valorre without aid. Larylis had helped her mount the first time.
Valorre, she needs help. Stand near the bench so she can climb onto your back.
You never need help, he said.
I pressed my lips together to suppress my smirk. She isn’t me.
Valorre followed my instructions and moved alongside a nearby bench. When Mareleau saw what he was doing she turned to me and lifted Liam away from her chest. She hesitated before looking up at me. “Here, hold him.”
My mouth fell open at the bundle before me. With trembling arms that seemed to move too slow, I took hold of Liam. My eyes slid down to meet his round, puffy face, tiny fists that reached out of his swaddling. Pain seared my throat as my eyes searched his, a sob fighting to escape my chest. In my arms was the very thing I’d never have.
The very thing I should have had. The very thing that was taken from me because of her.
I shuddered at my own thoughts and pushed them away, breathing deeply to keep my tears at bay. Those thoughts are not mine. That is not me.
When I lifted my eyes, Mareleau was on Valorre’s back. As Valorre came alongside Hara, Mareleau leaned toward me and extended her arms. “Thank you,” she said.
I passed Liam to her, but pain still pounded in my heart as I watched her pull him close and kiss his forehead.
“Is something wrong?” Mareleau asked, wrinkling her brow.
I started, my eyes snapping to her face. “Nothing. Let’s go.” I closed my eyes and breathed the pain away, draining my thoughts and worries with it. It took much longer than usual to clear my mind, but after a few moments, my heart was at ease. I extended my hand to Valorre, feeling the warmth of his smooth coat beneath my palm, sensing his presence, sensing his two riders. My other hand rested on Hara, and I felt the connection between us all. I was ready.
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