by Holly Rayner
How would it feel for her to receive a message from Brad? How would she accept the news that he was alive and well?
She may have heard the news of my plane crash, along with the rest of the country, Colt thought.
He saw the waiter approaching with a tray of food and drink.
It will be best if I explain things in person, once Vance is taken care of, Colt thought.
Aloud he said into the phone, “No, just check up on her. That’s all. Make sure she’s okay. I’ll talk to her once I get home.”
The waiter approached, and Colt gave him a nod of thanks.
The food emitted fragrant steam that made him eager to eat. The meal wasn’t what he was craving, but it would be tasty nonetheless. As the waiter departed, Colt lifted his beer and took a sip.
Brad spoke. “What’s her last name?”
Colt swallowed and then said, “Shoot. I don’t know. I never got it.”
“You mean you saw the universe in this woman’s eyes, and you never got her last name?” Bradley asked, erupting with laughter.
Colt shook his head. “I’m glad one of us thinks this is funny,” he said.
“I’m just messing with you, buddy,” Brad said. “I’ll get some guys on it, and I’m sure they’ll find her in no time. Just give me some details about her—anything you can remember.”
Colt sipped his beer and wracked his brain.
“She was wearing really cute rhinestone-studded jeans. She’s not a big whiskey drinker. She’s not big into the rodeo, either—she barely knew any of the names of the contestants. She has a great smile. When she smiles, I swear, the whole world stops turning. She’s authentic; every word that comes out of her mouth is honest. She’s got these—”
“Give me something I can work with,” interjected Bradley. “Hair color, eye color, age—that kind of thing,”
“She’s about a foot shorter than me, so five-three or so, with pretty brown hair that falls just below her shoulders. It has a little wave to it, too. Her eyes are brown with gold flecks in them. She mentioned that she’s thirty, a teacher, and lives in Kansas. She was staying at the Skylark Suites, if that helps.”
“It might,” said Bradley. “Okay, I wrote all that down. You sure you’re going to survive while we find her?”
Colt sensed that his friend was being sarcastic, but he didn’t get the joke. After all, he was living in exile in a foreign country, with no friends or family, missing what could very well be the love of his life. Things weren’t exactly peachy right now. “I’ll be okay,” he said.
“Good, good. I wasn’t sure, what with that hole in your heart, and all. If you feel any more of that chest pain, we’re going to have to get you a helicopter flight to the nearest hospital with a cardiologist on shift.”
“Hardy-har-har,” Colt said sarcastically. Then he added, “Yeah, send along that helicopter, and I’ll have them fly me right to your front lawn so I can put you in a headlock.”
Bradley laughed. “Just like the good ol’ days,” he said. “Hey, I miss your headlocks. Don’t go getting too soft on me, okay, Mr. Poet Laureate?”
“I’ve got to go,” Colt said, grinning. “My food’s going to get cold. Just find her and check on her, okay? And call me with an update.”
“Will do, my friend,” Bradley said. With that, he hung up.
Colt did the same. He laid his phone aside and reached for his fork. He paused before digging into his dish and took another sip of beer. Bradley’s just too much, he thought, shaking his head a little.
He smiled as he set the beer down and scooped up a forkful of food.
He knew his friend well. Bradley had been his best friend since they were both freshmen in college. Colt recalled the days after his family boat had capsized far from shore. The entire football team had visited him in the hospital as he’d recovered. It was only Bradley who’d stayed the night, catching an hour of shut-eye now and then in the recliner chair by the bedside. Colt remembered what it was like to wake up in the hospital room and see Brad in that chair.
In the months after the accident, Bradley was the only person who ever saw Colt cry. Brad understood Colt better than anyone. He jokes, but on some level, he knows exactly what I’m talking about, thought Colt, as he chewed a piece of meat. He’s going to do his best to find Marissa because he understands how much it means to me.
He set his fork down and reached for his beer. But before picking it up, he clasped his hands in front of him as if he was praying. He tilted his head down toward his hands and then spoke in his mind as though he was speaking directly to Marissa. Please, baby, he thought. Just wait for me. I know I’ve been gone for a long time, but please don’t give up on me. I’m going to get home to you just as soon as I can.
He thought these words with intensity and let them echo in his mind. When he opened his eyes once again, he had a strange sense of peace.
They’re going to check on her, he thought. Soon, I’ll know that she’s all right, and as soon as I get back to the States, I’ll talk to her in person.
She just has to wait for me.
Chapter 11
Marissa
Marissa balanced the small cardboard box, which was overflowing with teaching supplies, on one hip as she reached for the door.
Before she could push it open, she heard a voice behind her. “Marissa, let me get that for you! You’ve got your hands full.”
Marissa turned in time to see Kelly, the art teacher, hurrying toward her. Marissa released the door and stepped aside. She shifted the box back into her hands and said, “Thanks,” as Kelly pushed the door open.
“No problem,” Kelly said. She turned to eye the box. “You want me to carry that? Isn’t it true that pregnant women aren’t supposed to lift heavy things?”
“I’m only three months in,” Marissa said. “I don’t have to really worry about that for a little while, now. Besides, this box isn’t heavy.”
It was blindingly bright outside. Marissa squinted while her eyes adjusted to the June, midday sun.
“Gosh, three months already,” Kelly said, with a shake of her head. “Time flies, doesn’t it?”
“Sure does,” Marissa said, though she hardly agreed with the statement. The past few months had been the hardest of her thirty years of life, and because they were so challenging, time had seemed to inch along at a snail’s pace. She had a feeling that when the baby came, things would only get harder.
She didn’t want to think about it. Today was hard enough. She had to clean out her classroom, and that made her heart feel heavy with sadness.
Kelly didn’t seem to pick up on Marissa’s reluctance to talk about the pregnancy, however. She continued chatting about it as she followed Marissa to her car at the edge of the parking lot.
“I’ve never been pregnant,” she said wistfully. “Chad and I want to have kids one day, but now’s not really the right time. We’re still trying to save up for a down payment for a house. I envy you, though. I mean, in just six months you’re going to have a little baby in your arms! You are so lucky.”
Marissa once again balanced the box on her hip so that she could pop the trunk of her car. As she plopped the box inside, along with the others, she said to Kelly, “Well, that’s it! That was the last box. I’m officially done clearing out my classroom.”
She hoped this would deter her friend from continuing, but it did not. Kelly eyed Marissa’s stomach. “Sheesh, for three months you sure are looking slim!” she exclaimed. “How are you feeling?”
Marissa sighed. It seemed impossible to deter Kelly from talking about the pregnancy, so she decided to just give in. “Pretty good, actually,” she said with a sigh as she slammed her car trunk closed. She placed a hand on her belly. “The morning sickness is gone, which is a huge relief. And I have some of my energy back. For a while there, I was just really tired a lot of the time. My doctor said I’ll likely start showing soon… in the next few weeks, at least.”
Kelly’s brows tented up in
a show of sympathy. “That must have been so hard,” she said. “Going through all of that alone. I mean, it’s probably hard enough with a guy at your side, and you’ve got no one.”
Marissa felt a twinge in her gut. Is Kelly trying to rub salt in my wounds? she wondered. She felt the sting of Kelly’s words and couldn’t form a response. Instead, she stayed silent and made a show of foraging in her bag for her keys.
“I’d better get going,” she mumbled.
“Oh!” Kelly clapped a hand over her mouth. “I am so sorry! I’ve offended you, haven’t I? I am so insensitive sometimes. I’m trying to get better… Marissa, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to bring that up.”
Marissa shook her head. “It’s fine,” she said. Now that she had keys in her hand, she looked back at Kelly. “Really. I can’t go getting upset every time someone mentions that I’m a single mother. That would be ridiculous. You’re only stating the truth.” She stepped toward the driver’s side door. She only wanted to get away from Kelly and be free from the entire conversation. It would feel like a relief to get away from the school, too.
Kelly followed. “Yes, but it’s all so fresh, still. I shouldn’t have brought it up. I only mean to say that it must be difficult for you to be alone, so please don’t hesitate to ask for help. That’s all. I just want to offer that. So many teachers here at Dulcett Elementary care about you, Marissa.”
Marissa opened the car door.
A wave of heat poured out of the car interior. She knew she had to wait for it to air out a bit. As she waited, she said, “Thank you, Kelly.”
“I’m not just saying this to be polite,” Kelly insisted. “You were starting to become part of the family here. You weren’t here for long, but you did so much for us as a staff. You put in so many hours to fight against those awful budget cuts.”
Marissa thought about the many school board meetings she’d attended, which dragged late into the night. She also recalled the teacher’s union meetings, which often went even later.
Kelly continued. “You worked so hard on behalf of this school. Now, for them to let you go while you’re in this state. Well, it’s just wrong. So a lot of us teachers want you to know that if you need anything, you should not hesitate to ask for help.”
“That’s really nice of you,” Marissa said.
“Are you coming to the end-of-the-year barbecue at Dave’s house?” Kelly asked.
“I don’t think so,” Marissa said honestly. “I appreciate the invite, but I’m not exactly in a celebratory mood. I think I just need to get home.” She eyed her driver’s seat again.
Kelly finally took the hint. “Right! Right. Of course. I completely understand. What a draining day, packing up your classroom… saying goodbye to it for the last time. I’ll let you go. Just call me if you need anything, okay?”
Marissa nodded and then hugged Kelly goodbye. She got into her car. A feeling of relief flooded her as she drove out of the school’s lot. She’d been dreading the last day of work, and now it was over.
Her relief was short-lived. As she began her cruise along the side streets that took her to her small apartment, she thought about her conversation with Kelly. It bothered Marissa to be looked at with pity. For her whole life, she’d been seen as smart and capable. She was usually the one to help other people, not the other way around.
She did not like being a person that others felt sympathy for. She liked even less the thought that her pregnancy had been the topic of gossip among the staff for the last several months.
It seemed that every time Marissa had walked into the teachers' lounge for the past two months, the conversation would stop short and everyone would turn their eyes to her and stare.
There was no way she was about to subject herself to more of that at the barbecue this evening.
In fact, she’d been declining most social invitations for the last several months.
She turned onto Briar Street and neared her apartment. She rented from an older couple. Her unit was set on top of the couple’s three-car garage. As Marissa pulled up, she saw a familiar white sedan out front parked next to the rose bushes that Marissa helped her landlady grow. It was her mother’s Toyota.
What is Mom doing here? Marissa thought as she parked behind her mother’s car.
Her mother, Linda, was standing off to the side of the drive, under the shade of a large tree. She had a grocery bag in her hands, and she waved with excitement as Marissa stepped out of her car.
“There’s my little sweet pea!” Linda called out.
At first sight of her unexpected visitor, Marissa had feared a family emergency. But now that she saw her mom’s broad smile, she knew that everything was fine. Her mom balanced her grocery bag in one arm so that she could give Marissa a quick hug.
“Mom, what are you doing here?” Marissa asked. “This is a surprise.” She led the way up the stairs to her unit.
“I was worried about you, sweet pea,” her mother said. She set the groceries down on the countertop. “You didn’t sound like yourself last time we talked. And those nightmares! I was talking to Ralph down at the post office, and he said his son, who fought in Iraq, has the same sort of episodes.”
“Mom, I didn’t go to war. I saw an explosion, but I wasn’t even hurt. I’ll be okay.”
Linda ignored this as she began unpacking items from the brown grocery sack. “Night terrors, Ralph said—that’s what his son has. He’s getting treatment for it. Sees a therapist in Connecticut where he’s living. When he has the terrors, he wakes up in a full sweat. Didn’t you wake up feeling hot? Throwing the covers off?”
Marissa pinched her lips shut.
Linda went on without waiting for an answer. “It’s called post-traumatic stress disorder, and it’s quite serious. Ralph suggested that you see a therapist.”
“Mom, please don’t discuss my mental health with a guy I barely even know,” Marissa said. She slipped off her shoes and moved over to a cupboard. “You need a glass of water? Or soda, or tea?”
“Do you have iced tea?” Linda asked.
Marissa opened the fridge and nodded as she peered inside.
“I’ll take a glass of that,” Linda said. Then, she continued, “And don’t be silly, dear. You know Ralph. He’s been at the Peabody post office since you were wearing a diaper.”
“Oh, Mom.” Marissa blushed. She filled two glasses with ice and then poured raspberry iced tea into them. “You know what I mean. I don’t like the thought of you talking about my situation at the local post office.”
“I only talk about it because I’m worried about you,” Linda said. “I don’t like the sound of my baby not sleeping through the night—having nightmares! It’s just awful. A body needs sleep. Especially a body that’s with-child, like you are. You’re clearly still upset about the explosion. Want me to ask Ralph for the name of his son’s therapist?”
“In Connecticut?” Marissa asked. “No thanks. That doesn’t make any sense. Why would I go to a therapist in Connecticut?” She handed her mom a glass.
Linda accepted it. “All these therapists know each other. They network, dear. The therapist in Connecticut could make a recommendation for us—someone here in Kansas who could help us get this sorted out.”
Marissa smiled slightly. It was sweet of her mom to be so concerned. “I appreciate the offer,” she said. “I’ll think about it.” Her mind turned to the nightmares that had been waking her up. It was always the same: the dream ended with the sound of the SUV exploding and the burst of bright light that followed. “I think with time, the dreams will fade,” she said. “I’ll start to feel safer.”
“I have something that might help with that,” Linda said. “It’s right here…” She reached for an item on the counter, which she had unpacked from the grocery bag. “I picked it up from the market. You wouldn’t believe what Celia’s Market is carrying these days.” She held up a little silver canister of pepper spray with a pink nozzle at the top. “It might make you feel that you’r
e protected, though it’s a crazy world out there.”
Marissa accepted the spray. She’d only told her mother that she had witnessed a car explosion while in Austin, not that she was supposed to be in the car that had blown up. Of course, seeing a random car suddenly burst into flames was bad enough, and her mother had accepted the story.
“Thank you, Mom,” Marissa said. She lifted her purse off of a nearby stool and tucked the spray into the front pocket.
Linda motioned to the food she had unpacked; tomato sauce, pasta, a tub of ricotta cheese, and various other ingredients lined the table. “I thought I’d make one of your favorite comfort foods—homemade lasagna. We could make a big salad to go on the side, and I brought that garlic bread you liked when we were at Tostano’s that one time—the one that’s shaped in little knots. Tostano’s sells it to Cindy’s Market, and it was on sale, two for one.”
“Wow, how do you remember these things, Mom?” Marissa asked. She felt her eyes begin to glisten. It didn’t take much these days to make her cry. “This is really thoughtful of you. Really sweet.”
Linda stepped in closer and wrapped her arms around Marissa. “I remember because I’m your mother,” Linda whispered. “It’s my job to do nice things for you. You’ll see, soon enough.”
It felt so good to be hugged. Marissa breathed in the familiar scent of her mother: lilacs and cinnamon. She let a few tears slip down her cheeks as she enjoyed the comforting embrace, but then wiped them away as they parted. She sniffled as she walked over to the stove and pressed a few buttons.
“Gosh,” she said, drying her eyes again. “I am so emotional these days. The other day I cried during a car insurance commercial.” She emitted a soft laugh. The oven made beeping sounds as she set it to the correct temperature.
“Oh, that’s completely normal,” Linda said while rummaging in a cupboard for a pot. “I remember when I was pregnant with you, your father thought I was losing my marbles. I remember one time…”