by Holly Rayner
She motioned to the machine that held the IV fluids. “Yeah… she said to press the ‘help’ button here on my bed if the machine starts to beep. It’s been fine so far.”
She eyed the ice as Colt set it down. “Thank you,” she said softly. Joshua was asleep, and it was clear that she didn’t want to wake him.
Colt arranged the bedside table so that it was slightly over Marissa’s bed. Then, he inched the ice closer, so it was within her reach. “No problem,” he said. “I remember when I was in the hospital after my near-drowning. For a while, I was being hydrated with IV fluids, and I wasn’t allowed to eat or drink. I remember how good a nice ice chip now and then tasted. Here, let me take him so you can rest.”
He scooped up the little infant and cradled him to his chest. As he smiled down at his son, Marissa spoke. “I don’t just mean for the ice chips, Colt,” she said. “Thank you for being here. I know—I know I didn’t react well when I first saw you. I was so surprised…” A shadow of concern crossed her face.
Colt could see how worn out she was from the surgery.
“You know what?” he said, “Let’s talk about this when you’re feeling stronger.”
She nodded and winced as she positioned in the bed. “I think—oh! That hurts—I think that would be good.”
“Have some ice chips, and then take a little nap if you can. I’ll keep this little guy occupied so his mamma can rest. When you’re feeling up to it, we’ll talk about everything. We’ll figure this all out. Later—okay?”
She nodded. Her heavy lids started to drift closed, but she seemed to fight against her desire to close them. “Colt,” she said, “You have so much going on—I’m sure of that. You’re Colt Thorpe. You’re a…” her voice drifted off again.
“Later,” Colt said in a soothing tone.
“That sounds good,” she admitted. She scooped a few chips into her mouth and then leaned her head back against the fluffy white pillow behind her head. Her eyes closed all the way, and her breathing became soft and rhythmic with sleep.
Colt watched her peaceful form while rocking his newborn in his arms. He didn’t know what lay ahead for him and Marissa, but he knew one thing—as long as Marissa was here in the hospital, he was going to be by her side.
Chapter 18
Marissa
Marissa folded a pair of her pajamas and packed them into her suitcase. She’d only been in the hospital for three days, yet she felt like she had moved into the little hospital room. Her belongings were everywhere. She picked up a few more items, popped them in her bag, and then scanned the room one final time, hoping that she’d gotten it all.
A sound at the door made her look up.
Colt filled the open doorway. His height, along with his broad shoulders, made him always appear larger than life to Marissa, as if he were a superhero that had swooped into her life to heroically help her.
He’s not a superhero, she reminded herself. But he has been a huge help. I’m going to miss him when he goes back to Texas.
She smiled sadly at Colt. She was grateful that the doctors had given her her discharge orders, but she was also sad that her time at the hospital was coming to an end. It was like her real life had been put on pause for four days, ever since she’d gone into labor. Inside these walls, nothing mattered to her except taking care of her newborn and getting stronger. Those two priorities had simplified life, and now that she was leaving, she was dreading the fact that all of the complications she’d left out in the real world were about to come swooping back in.
“Would I sound crazy if I said I’m going to miss it in this little room?” she asked Colt.
He crossed the room and set a bottle of water down on a small table. It was positioned next to the recliner that he’d spent the last three nights in. He chuckled as he leaned over and pulled his phone charger from the outlet.
“Just a little bit crazy,” he said, in a teasing tone. “But that’s forgiven. You just gave birth, after all. You’re allowed to go a little bit insane.”
She laughed, too. “Insane, hm? Do you have research to back that up, Doctor Thorpe?”
Colt laughed again. Then, he picked up an empty Styrofoam cup and walked with it into the bathroom to toss it out. As he emerged from the bathroom, he held up a hairbrush. “Is this yours?” he asked.
Marissa eyed the brush and nodded as she reached for it. “Goodness,” she said. “I feel like I’d forget my head in here if it wasn’t attached to my shoulders.”
“See?” Colt said, flashing his bright smile in her direction. “A little bit insane.”
Marissa reached out and playfully hit his arm. “Oh, stop,” she said. Then, she eyed her bag. “Well, I’m hoping that’s everything. If I forgot something, the staff here knows where to find me. They made absolutely sure that they know where to send the hospital bills, of course.”
She gulped, thinking about how expensive her emergency surgery plus post-op recovery was going to be—not to mention all the care that the staff had provided for Joshua.
She looked down at her suitcase, lost in worry for a moment. The feeling of Colt’s hand, resting on her upper arm, pulled her from her anxious thoughts about her finances.
“I already spoke to the hospital’s billing department,” he said. “Those bills are going to be sent to me, Marissa. I’ll take care of them.”
Marissa couldn’t meet Colt’s eye. His hand still rested on her upper arm, and she felt its heat and warmth and longed for more of his touch. Though her body wanted to be held, she still couldn’t wrap her mind around Colt’s sudden presence in her life.
What is he doing here? she wondered. After all this time… why has he suddenly reappeared?
Why was he gone for so long?
She’d been waiting for days for Colt to broach the subject, but he had not. During all of the walks that they’d taken around the hospital ward and all the long hours that he’d spent by her bed helping her care for Joshua, he’d never once brought up his absence.
Why not?
With these questions in mind, she stepped back slightly. “You don’t have to pay for all of it,” she said. “Half. That’s what would be fair.” She didn’t look up into Colt’s blue eyes as she said this. Instead, she focused on her suitcase. The handle made a soft squeaking sound as she fiddled with it, turning it to one side and then the other.
Again, he made contact. This time, his hand enveloped hers on top of the suitcase handle. “Marissa, I want to help,” he said.
“Why?” she asked, releasing the suitcase handle and pulling her hand out from beneath his. “Because you feel guilty? I’m glad you’re here now, Colt, but I still don’t understand what you’re doing here, exactly.”
Just then, a nurse popped into the room with Joshua in her arms. “He’s all set to travel home!” she said in a sing-song voice. “We gave him one last round of fluids, plus his little preemie pack of vitamins through the IV, and now he’s feeling sooo good. Isn’t that right, little pumpkin?” She smiled down at the little infant in her arms before handing him over to Marissa.
Marissa hugged her baby to her chest and kissed his chubby little cheek.
The nurse continued cheerfully. “Looks like you’re all packed up! I’ll go grab a wheelchair for you.”
“Oh, that won’t be necessary,” Marissa said. “I can walk.”
The nurse shook her head. “It’s hospital policy,” she said. “We recommend all guests get wheeled to the exit. It’s a farther distance than you might think, and you have lots of belongings to cart along with you. Hang on one sec; I’ll be right back.” She hurried out of the room.
Now that they were once again alone, Marissa wondered if Colt would respond to the issue she’d brought up before the nurse stopped by.
She waited, and a moment of silence passed between her and Colt. Then, he cleared his throat and spoke. “I know we have a lot to talk through,” he said gently. He lifted the suitcase up off of the chair it rested on and held it at his side.
“Let’s get out of here first.”
Marissa knew that Colt was right. It was not a time for having a heavy discussion; the busy nature of the hospital floor during the day made it nearly impossible to have an uninterrupted conversation. As if to prove this point, a cleaning woman stopped by and began stripping the bed. Moments after, the nurse arrived with a wheelchair.
Colt strapped the suitcase to the back, and Marissa sat with Joshua in her arms. Colt pushed her down the long hallway as the staff stood by and wished them well.
Colt had outfitted his SUV with a brand-new infant car carrier, and as he settled Joshua safely inside of it, Marissa watched with a sense of confusion. Would Colt keep the baby carrier in his car once he returned to Texas? How often did he plan on seeing Joshua, anyway? And what about their relationship—did Colt want her, like he used to? The past four days had passed without one kiss. She wondered if he was trying to maintain distance because he no longer wanted her.
She stepped up into the car and positioned herself in the passenger seat. For the duration of the ride home, she was lost in thought. All of the emotions that she’d set aside while in the hospital were now surfacing, and it was difficult to process them.
When Colt pulled to a stop in front of Marissa’s parents’ house, Linda rushed out to greet them. She swooped Joshua up in her arms and showered him with kisses. “Your grandpa is so excited to show you your new little bassinet!” she cooed, as she carried him toward the house.
Colt reached into the trunk of the car for Marissa’s bag. He pulled it along the bumpy sidewalk, but Marissa stopped him before he could turn up the walkway to her parents’ house.
“Colt, wait,” she said. “Let’s talk.”
He stopped, left the bag where it was, and returned to her side by the car. They stood on the sidewalk that Marissa had played on as a child. Marissa saw the mailbox in front of her parents’ walkway, out of which she’d pulled the daily newspaper thousands of times. The bush just beyond the mailbox was bigger now than when she was a child, but it contained the same fragrant white blossoms. Even the birdsong from the trees was familiar, and the way the midmorning sunlight fell across her childhood home.
Despite all of these familiarities, Marissa felt distinctly different. She was about to have a discussion unlike she’d ever dreamed she’d be having—with a man she could never have even conjured up in her wildest imagination as a child or teen.
Colt’s presence still felt surreal. She didn’t understand what he was doing in Peabody, Kansas.
Colt nodded. “Let’s,” he said simply. He waited, giving her a chance to speak first.
Marissa bit her lip, struggling to come up with the right way to put her emotions into words.
“Colt, these past few days have been really crazy. When you appeared under my oak, I thought for sure I was dreaming.” She looked past Colt and out to the land beyond her parents’ house. A sea of prairie grass rippled under the autumn breeze. Far in the distance, she could see the small hill and the silhouette of her favorite oak tree.
She recalled seeing Colt there. “You didn’t call—after our time together in Austin. You didn’t reach out to me… even after what we went through together. And then, before I could even get a chance to be worried about that, I saw on the news that you were dead.”
He nodded, a look of concern in his eye.
She took a deep breath and then went on. It felt good to voice her feelings. “You have to realize how that was for me,” she said. “You have to see how that would be difficult… I thought you were dead, and then I found out I was pregnant. Do you understand what you put me through?”
He took a deep breath, too. Then, he spoke, slowly and carefully. His deep, smooth-as-molasses drawl made a shiver of pleasure run up her spine unbidden. She couldn’t control her body’s reactions to Colt. “I know it was hard for you, Marissa,” he said, “and for that I’m truly, truly sorry. I didn’t know you were pregnant—if I’d known, I would have made a different decision.”
“When? What decision? I don’t understand,” she said quickly, with clear frustration. “You can’t decide to have a plane crash. Your private jet went down in the ocean, right?”
He nodded. “It did go down, but that was by design. That’s what I mean by a decision. My security team proposed that I fake my death, and I agreed. They staged that crash, and I was flown undercover to South America, where I lived for several months.”
Marissa couldn’t help but feel hurt. “That was just days after we met,” she said, as she started to put the pieces together. “You’re saying that you decided to leave the country, without saying one word about it to me?” She tried to hold back the hurt from her tone, but it came through anyway. “I think we had very different experiences, that night in Austin…” Her voice trailed off, as she recalled how fast and how hard she’d fallen for Colt. “I loved our time together, but you seem to think it meant little—if you were so willing to disappear into South America immediately after.”
“Marissa, it’s not like that,” Colt said emphatically. “I know it must feel like I abandoned you, but the truth is that I did it for your safety. I couldn’t reach out to you to tell you about my travels—it wasn’t safe.”
Marissa’s heart fluttered with fear. She recalled the explosion that had nearly taken her life. “You mean that man Vance… all of this was to get away from him?” she asked.
She knew that Colt had been entangled with the mafia ever since he’d put one of their leaders behind bars. “Was all of this really necessary?” she asked. “Is running from them really more important than what we shared that night?”
He stepped in closer and placed his hands on her shoulders. “You have to believe me. What we shared that night in Austin meant the world to me. You meant the world to me—and that’s why I had to leave. It wasn’t for my own safety—it was for yours. While Vance is still out on the streets, it’s dangerous to be around me. I didn’t want to bring that danger into your world. When I saw you in Dulcett—”
“Wait, you saw me in Dulcett?” Marissa asked in disbelief. “That’s impossible. I’ve been here in Peabody since September!”
“It was back in July,” Colt said softly. Now, he was the one to look hurt. “I saw you with—I don’t know, it must have been a man you were seeing. You may even still be seeing him—we haven’t talked about it.”
“What?” Marissa asked, still confused. She shook her head. “You were in Dulcett in July—and you saw me with a guy? There’s no way, Colt. I haven’t been with anyone since you. Whoever you saw me with must have just been an acquaintance, or coworker.”
“Really?” he asked. He seemed pleased. He stroked her shoulders.
She felt some of the air between them clearing. All that had been unspoken was now being voiced, and she understood Colt’s reluctance to make physical contact for the past few days. He thought I had a boyfriend, she thought.
“And you?” she said. “Have you been seeing anyone—since our night together?”
He shook his head. “No one,” he said. “All I’ve thought about is you.”
Marissa felt her anger fading. He left to keep me safe, she thought. He didn’t want to go.
Colt continued. “The feds are compiling evidence against Vance, but he’s good at giving them the runaround. He has others do his dirty work, and he knows his way around the justice system. I’m trying to be patient—but it’s hard. I’m not even supposed to be out in public like this, but I had to see you, Marissa. I had to see our son.”
His voice was strong with authenticity. She knew he was speaking his truth. She looked up at him and saw the truth sparkling in his eyes, as well.
“My presence in your life could be a danger,” he said. “And the longer I’m here, the worse it gets. Word is bound to get out if I spend too much time out in the open like this. I hate the thought of—”
As he spoke, a flash of movement behind him caught Marissa’s eye. It was a figure, moving too quickly to be a
casual pedestrian on the sidewalk. Besides that, she didn’t recognize the man as one of her neighbors. His stride was purposeful, and the gap between him and where she and Colt stood was closing fast.
She was about to say something to Colt when the man, now only a few feet away, reached to his belt and pulled out a firearm.
Instinctively, Marissa reached into her purse. Her fingers found the cool canister of pepper spray that she had tucked into the small front pocket of her bag on the evening that her mother had given it to her.
The man was raising the gun. Marissa could barely breathe. Her heart felt like it might hammer its way right out of her chest. Her mind felt strangely clear. Time seemed to slow down. With one fluid motion she whipped it from her bag, aimed at the man’s face, and pressed down on the spray nozzle.
Chapter 19
Colt
Colt felt relieved that he and Marissa were finally talking about his faked death. He was glad that she was feeling up to the discussion. It had been so hard to watch her struggle with weakness and fatigue after her surgery.
He could tell that she often tried to hide her pain from him; he noticed the way she winced when she moved in certain ways. Now that she was feeling stronger, he was ready to tell her everything about his decision to leave Austin and travel to Argentina without notifying her.
He wanted her to understand.
“My presence in your life could be a danger,” he said. “And the longer I’m here, the worse it gets. Word is bound to get out if I spend too much time out in the open like this. I hate the thought of—” He stopped mid-sentence as a sound behind him caught his attention.
Before he could turn around, he watched Marissa spring into action. She pulled something from her bag—is that pepper spray?—and then held it up in the air just to the left of Colt’s face.
There’s someone just behind me, Colt realized, as Marissa pressed down on the nozzle of the small spray can in her hand.