by J. M. Walker
My muscles ached from the hard work out I had put my body through. When Creena wouldn’t answer her phone or her texts, the darkness inside of me reared its ugly head and wanted to come out and play.
My phone chimed, indicating an incoming text.
Grey: Found him.
I rolled my eyes.
Me: I found him weeks ago.
I shoved the phone in my pocket, ignoring the text messages coming in when I remembered the conversation I’d had with Angel not too long ago.
Letting out a soft curse, I retrieved the phone from my pocket and called Grey.
“Do you not answer your texts anymore?” Grey grumbled after the first ring.
“Aww, honey. Were you waiting by your phone for me to call?” I teased, leaving the gym at the base and headed toward my truck.
“You asked me to do something for you and if you don’t respond, how the hell am I supposed to know that I did in fact do what you asked me to do in the first place?”
“Uh ... Come again?”
Grey sighed. “Listen, I found the fucker you asked me to find.”
My stomach twisted over itself. “I figured but I already found him long before you did,” I said, pulling myself into the driver’s seat of the truck.
“Then why the hell is he still breathing?”
Because I’m a pussy. “I’m working on it.”
“Stone,” Grey said gently. “Do you need me to take him out?”
“I appreciate that, my man, but I can’t afford to owe you anything.”
“I would do it for you.”
“I know but no matter how much you love my sexy ass, I would still owe you.” And I refused to do that shit. Grey was an evil fucker. If his siblings only knew the kind of man their stepbrother was.
“So, if you didn’t call about ...”
“Angel knows my documents were falsified,” I explained the conversation I had with my Squad Leader, letting Grey know that Angel was sniffing around. “But I can make it go away.”
“Good. Because I don’t need that shit on my doorstep. Remember, I’m a good boy.” Grey laughed at his own joke. “So, I guess technically, you do owe me.”
“Shit,” I muttered, punching my steering wheel at my stupidity.
“Don’t worry, I’ll go easy on you.”
I sighed and started up the truck. “I was telling you to protect you but I guess that’s now biting me in the ass.”
“Nah. I love you, man. I wouldn’t make you do anything I wouldn’t do myself.”
“I’m fucked.”
Grey’s booming laugh came through the other end of the phone. “Yup. Definitely missed this.”
As anxious as I felt, a smile still pulled at my lips. “You need to tell Brogan we know each other.”
His laugh died. Clearing his throat, he let out a hard huff. “I’ll get on that.”
The click in my ear made me roll my eyes. Grey had never been one for proper phone etiquette.
My hands twisted on the steering wheel, white knuckling the leather beneath my fingers. I was itching for a fight. I was going to bring it up to Creena that we should start working out together. I wanted to watch her move. For her to hit me. I wanted to make her ache for me as much as I ached for her. She was the sustenance that fed my dark soul.
Driving home from base, I suddenly got hit with a wave of anxiety. It twisted my gut, eating away at my nerves. Something was wrong. Very fucking wrong.
I checked my phone. No new messages. No new phone calls. But I still called Angel.
“Yeah,” came his deep reply.
“Everything okay there?” I cringed at the sound of desperation in my voice.
“Stone? Why? What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know.” I let out a hard curse. “Sorry for bothering you, brother. Something isn’t sitting well with me.”
“Yeah,” he grunted. “I feel it too.”
“How are the girls?” I pressed my foot on the gas, knowing exactly what I needed.
“They’re fine. Angelica is antsy because Jay keeps pacing back and forth.”
“That it?”
“Stone.”
I gave myself a shake. “Listen. I don’t know what the hell is going on but something isn’t right. We all feel it.”
“I know. You be safe. You hear me?”
“I will.” I hung up and drove to my sister’s place. It would be an unexpected visit as I hadn’t been there in years. Her husband wouldn’t be happy I showed up uninvited but, honestly, I didn’t give a shit.
Once I reached her small house, I slammed the truck into park. Jumping out of the vehicle, I ran up the steps and banged my fist twice on the door.
“I’m coming,” Aria cried from the other side of the door. Throwing it open, she stared up at me wide-eyed. “Vince?”
I charged past her. “Where is she?”
“In her room.” Aria ran after me. “She’s sleeping.”
I headed to the back of the house where the stairs were and took them two at a time until I reached the second floor.
“Uncle Vince.”
“What are you doing?”
Both of the kids called out but I couldn’t place who spoke. I was blinded with the need to see her.
“What’s going on?” my sister’s douche of a husband, Rowan, demanded.
“I don’t know.” Aria followed me. “Vince, talk to me.”
Ignoring her, I headed toward the end of the hall and gently pushed open the door. The scent of baby powder wafted into my nose, easing some of the anxiety tightening my chest.
Taking long strides toward the crib, I picked up Luna and held her against my chest.
She protested, fussing over being woken up but then her beautiful brown eyes looked up at me. She sighed, snuggling into my shirt. “Dada.”
“Yeah, piccola.” My heart jumped, my stomach doing several flips before I regained control of the emotions I was feeling. “I’m here. I’m always here. Even when I’m not.” I kissed her head, my throat burning. Fuck, I missed her. I missed this. I missed holding her against me. It had always amazed me how someone so tiny could give me all the strength I needed to move on. If only Sienna could see her.
“Vince?” Aria whispered, coming toward me. “What’s wrong?”
I sat in the rocking chair in the corner of the room and held my daughter. “I just ... I needed her. I need this. Right now.”
Aria kissed my cheek and left the room, shutting the door quietly behind her. Muffled voices sounded from the hallway. Probably Rowan giving her shit for not kicking me out. But he knew he couldn’t stop me.
“I need you home with me.” I kissed Luna’s head. “Fuck do I ever.” My gaze roamed around the room. It was filled with everything a child needed. Stuffed animals in the one corner of the room and a dresser by the far wall. A bookshelf by the crib was stacked with every classic children’s story imaginable. She had everything here. And nothing at my home. There was no sign of her at my place. All because I needed to keep her safe.
Guilt ate at my heart.
Why the hell was Sienna taken from me? Although we weren’t together, she was a wonderful mother. We were doing well. Not being together but raising Luna just the same.
Luna shifted against me.
I kissed her head again, inhaling the scent of baby shampoo.
Standing to my full height, I put Luna back in her crib, thankful she didn’t fuss. “I love you, Luna. And I will make it so you can come home with me.” But it wasn’t time. It wasn’t safe.
Especially when one of the men who killed her mother was still out there.
“ARE YOU SURE you’re okay?” Aria asked, handing me a beer.
“Yes.” I took a long swig. “I’m fine.” Or I was since holding Luna but what would make me feel better was unleashing my wrath on Creena.
Rowan grunted before heading to the living room to watch whatever sports game was on T.V..
“He’s still a dick I see,” I grumbled, finish
ing off the bottle.
Aria sighed. “If you would just give him a chance.”
“Nope.” I rose to my full height. “Not going to happen.” I kissed her head and thanked her for the beer before heading to the front door.
“Leaving already, Vince?” Rowan called from the couch.
Just as I was about to give him the middle finger, Gianna and Luca ran around the corner. They barreled into me, hugging their small bodies around my legs.
“Don’t leave,” Gianna pleaded, giving my leg a squeeze.
Luca didn’t say anything but repeated his sister’s movements.
I knelt down and gave Gianna a hug. “Why don’t you go get your mommy? Tell her to come here.”
“Okay,” she exclaimed, doing as I asked.
“Hey, buddy.” I knelt in front of Luca and ruffled his hair. “What’s going on?”
He shrugged, his eyes welling.
My stomach twisted. “What’s wrong?”
“Mommy and Daddy keep fighting,” he whispered, his chin quivering.
Fuck. As much as I didn’t like Rowan, he was a good father. “Luca, adults sometimes have disagreements. Both your daddy and mommy work hard. That can make people tired and sometimes grumpy. Do you understand?”
He nodded. “I think so. But ... but what if Daddy leaves?”
“He’s not leaving you.” My head popped up just as Aria and Rowan joined us. “Little man has a problem,” I said, rising to my full height.
“What’s that?” Rowan narrowed his brows, his jaw clenching.
“You” —I jabbed a finger into his chest— “keep fighting with my sister. He sees that shi ... stuff. You have to watch what you say.”
Rowan blew out a slow breath and turned to Aria before grabbing her hand. “I’m sorry.”
She kissed his knuckles. “Luca, Mommy and Daddy love you. You know that, right?”
“But you’re mean to each other.” Luca sniffed, wiping under his eye.
Poor kid had a damn heart of gold and he was giving me all the fucking feels.
“Listen.” I cleared my throat. “Thank you for putting up with my abrupt visit.” I quickly said goodbye and left their place. My chest still felt tight but holding my baby girl helped ease some of the anxiety I had felt since Sienna died.
But now I was on a damn warpath. I realized then that I needed my daughter home with me. And I also needed to make Creena mine.
***
(Creena)
I started pacing back and forth. It went on for so long, I was surprised I didn’t wear a hole in the carpet.
My body vibrated. My hands shook. My hands. Blood. There was still blood on my hands. I rushed to the bathroom, turning the water on as hot as I could stand it and scrubbed until the skin turned red.
There had been so much damn blood. As soon as the guy attacked Kenny, I lost it. That dark part of myself I had forced to the back of my mind reared its ugly head faster than I would have liked. I had no control. And that pissed me off. There was only one thing, one person, I submitted to and that was on my terms.
“You need to get out of here,” Kenny had told me.
Something wasn’t right. It didn’t make sense. It was one of his guys I had killed. When the fucker turned on my brother, I reacted first instead of asking questions like I should have. My gut churned.
Falling to my knees at the floor by the toilet, I threw up the contents of my stomach.
“Tell me he wasn’t innocent. Tell me I didn’t kill an innocent man.”
My desperate words still rang through my head. The man wasn’t innocent. He couldn’t have been. He worked with the corrupt. But it took a while for Kenny to tell me because he hadn’t known. Or that was what he told me. I loved my brother but I didn’t trust him. I couldn’t figure out how or why but something told me I was being set up.
My phone dinged from somewhere in my bedroom. I had dropped it while rushing to strip off my clothes.
Taking a deep breath, I pushed myself from the floor once my stomach settled down and rinsed my mouth. I quickly brushed my teeth, ignoring the reflection in the mirror. I didn’t have to see myself to know I looked like a terrified version of me. I didn’t want this. I never wanted this. But the men in my life were hard to argue with. My father, God rest his soul, was trying to get out. Even after that revelation, it took years for him to make any sort of changes. But those changes never remained when my brother took over.
Forcing my aching body back into my bedroom, I picked my phone up off the floor and read the two words that changed everything.
Kenny: It’s fine.
I fell to the floor, a sob leaving my mouth on a hard cry. The man wasn’t innocent. But if he wasn’t, then why did I feel guilty?
Although the man deserved what he got, I couldn’t shake this feeling coursing through me.
It had been awhile, I almost forgot what it was like. I could taste it on my tongue. Power. Control. It was a bitter mixture, tingling together into a spicy mix of chaos.
But I ended up craving it, the man’s blood on my tongue as I shot two bullets into his chest and one in his head. It was the final blow that got to me. It was my signature shot. I tried changing my aim but it didn’t work. No matter what, I would always end up shooting them in the head. Even after they were dead. It represented me. It was what I was trained for.
The blood running through my veins gave me life and I took it from a man.
I needed something. Something more. I enjoyed the death of that man way too much.
Pariah. Diseased. Evil.
Gripping my hair, I rocked back and forth. No. I wasn’t those things. I wasn’t. I couldn’t be.
Pariah.
Diseased.
Evil.
I screamed, slamming my fist onto the ground.
My phone dinged again, indicating another incoming text.
Stone: Hey, baby girl. You free tonight?
Stone. Yes. He could give me what I needed. It all made sense now.
With shaky hands, I called him.
“Hey, Creena. I just—”
“I need you,” I blurted, my voice coming out rough.
“I’m almost home. What’s wrong?”
“I need you to turn around and come over. Please.” I dug my hands in my hair, pulling free some loose strands. The sharp pain erupted through my skull, sending a flush of heat racing through me.
“I’m turning around. Tell me what happened.”
“Stone, help me. I can’t ...” I rocked back and forth. “I can’t deal with this. I need out of my head. Take me out of my head. Please.”
“What happened, Creena?”
“I have to go.”
“No, I’m on my way but I need you to stay on the phone with me.”
“I can’t,” I sobbed. “Why are you with me? Why do you want me? I’m ... evil.”
“Like fuck you are,” he said, his voice turning hard. “I’m with you because I like you.”
“I need to go.” I whimpered, shaking my head. “I can’t. I need ... I have to go.”
“No,” he shouted. “You’re going to stay on the phone with me—”
I hung up. He would be pissed. But he would understand. I would make him understand.
My phone rang, but I ignored it.
Moving to the center of the room, I sat on my heels and placed my hands palms up on my thighs. Maybe Stone wouldn’t understand. Maybe he wouldn’t get it. Maybe he would just tell me I was crazy, fuck me, and be done with me. But I had to find out. So I did the only thing I knew how at the moment.
I submitted.
***
(Stone)
Whatever the fuck was going on with Creena didn’t make sense. Not one bit. I had never heard the desperation in her voice before. The cry for help was there but I didn’t know why. The darkness surrounding her mirrored my own. I knew because we were one and the same. I had told her that before and she didn’t believe me. She would see that we were alike. In almost every
way. I would make sure of it.
When I pulled up to her tiny home, thoughts from that night invaded my mind. Watching the life leave Sienna’s eyes. The guys continuously fucking her. The need to break down and control. From that moment on, I had been in control of my whole life. Every decision, every action, it was all laid out in detail. But since Creena walked into my world, she made me want to give up control long enough so I could taste the power of submission.
Standing in front of her house, it was the same yet different.
Taking the steps two at a time, I knocked on the door when it creaked open suddenly. “Creena?” I called out, pushing it open. “Baby girl, where are you?”
Her house was small so it wouldn’t take long to find her. She wasn’t in the kitchen or living room. I headed up the stairs to her bedroom, thankful for the pistol in the back of my pants.
“Creena,” I called out again but when I stepped into her room, what laid before me was not something I was expecting to see. Ever. And especially not from her.
She was kneeling on the floor facing away from me and completely naked. Her jet-black hair was pulled into a long braid behind her, the end reaching just above her tailbone.
It was the signature stance of a submissive woman or man. But I wasn’t sure why she felt the need to take such a position.
“Creena,” I said, my voice gruff. Seeing her this way stirred something inside of me.
Her head slumped on her shoulders.
I took a step into the room and saw the marks on her back. Light pink lines spread across her skin. They were faded scars but still bothered the shit out of me just the same. I would make sure that tonight she told me exactly how she got those scars.
“What the hell happened to you?” I dropped to my knees behind her.
“I need you.”
“You have me,” I said, brushing the back of my knuckles from one shoulder to the next.
She shivered, her nipples turning into sharp peaks. “Please.”
“I think it’s time you tell me how you got these scars.”
She nodded. “I will after.”
“After what?” I asked, swallowing hard.
Creena looked at me, her eyes dark. Guilt weighed heavily on her shoulders. Her soft words came next, “After I submit to you.”