by Shiloh White
Except for the two of us, the bus was completely empty.
Not good. I leapt past Anna, off the bus and around to the trunk. It was empty except for my and Anna's stuff. No Chug in sight.
A moment later, Anna was standing next to me, staring at the trunk too.
“Where'd everyone go?” I asked, keeping my eyes forward on the trunk, as if Chug would pop out at any moment.
“They all took their luggage and went to get signed in at the hotel,” Anna explained. Then she turned to face me and folded her arms together. “Why are you so on edge today?” she asked.
“It's—” I was so out of it, I had to stop myself from telling her the truth. “I don't know.” I lied. “I've been awake in a car all day, for starters. Also, I got a few unpleasant surprises this morning, including that ridiculous Katie Morris. Not to mention—"
GRRRRMPH.
“Was that your...” Anna asked. I nodded.
“I guess I'm hungry, too.” I said. I wished I wasn't—I needed to find Chug.
“I don't envy your morning, Luce,” Anna said, lightly poking my arm. “Especially not the Katie part. But maybe it can get better. Mrs. Nary said the class is going to dinner in the hotel lounge. If we catch up now, we can join them. Afterward, you can get some real rest.”
“Thanks, Anna...” I said to her after I'd scanned the size of the parking lot that was still visible in the setting sunlight. I realized Anna didn't seem upset at me anymore, but I was a little too distracted to really appreciate it.
“So...you ready?” she asked, leaning closer to my face. Probably to make sure I was really awake.
“Sure,” I said, “Let's go."
Anna grabbed her stuff and headed towards the hotel. I did the same and followed to the building.
Not to get dinner, but to find Chug.
9. Anna Suggests I Find Myself First
After we found the class and barely made it in time for dinner, I ditched dinner.
I went out wandering the general areas of the hotel in search of Chug, but with no luck.
I thought about venturing back out into the parking lot, but it was dark and cold...and just as I was walking out, Anna conveniently sent me a text wondering where I was:
“DINNER'S ALMOST DONE. HEADING BACK TO FRONT DESK FOR ROOM KEYS. WHERE'D YOU GO? – ANNA”
So I answered:
“WENT LOOKING FOR THE BATHROOM. GOT LOST. I'M ON MY WAY BACK.” - LUCY
Getting lost wasn't a lie. The hotel was pretty big (I'd found that out during my wandering) and I hadn't seen any restrooms. Although, I did like about looking for one.
I found Anna and the rest of the class in the lobby. Mrs. Nary and the other chaperons handed us our room keys and she told everyone to meet down for breakfast at six in the morning. Then there'd be a full day of studying, in which the kids would take the bus from one famous Capitol landmark to the next.
A couple moments of socializing in the lobby later, Anna and I found out we were sharing a room. She gave me a sideways glance and I got her message: “Bedtime?”
I shrugged. “Sure.”
I appreciated that about Anna. No matter how frustrated or upset we got at one another, she acted logically when she needed to. It allowed me to do the same, avoiding all that needless drama—just like your typical professional high-schoolers.
A.K.A., no other high-schoolers I'd ever met.
We took our things and retreated up to our room on the hotel's 4th floor. I slid the key in the door and we entered the room, where I plopped down face-first on the bed.
There was no sign of Chug anywhere, and I was exhausted. Apparently, none of the students saw him either.
Before we went to our rooms, Mrs. Nary pulled me aside to lecture me on leaving the group. After the standard “we're-a-group-we-stay-together-and-going-places-on-our-own-is-dangerous-and-your-parents-would-be-scared-sick-if-you-were-hurt” talk, I began to tell her the same story I told Anna about searching for a bathroom.
But I really wanted to know if anyone had at least seen Chug around the area. For all I knew, he got fed up with the cramped space and bailed out by turning into fog.
The more I thought about it, the worse my brain attacked me:
There's no way he's coming back now. He probably went back to the Dust without me.
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get these thoughts out.
Instead, I found myself pacing the room, my mind bombarding me with more thoughts. Seconds after, I found myself being talked to by Anna too. My mind seemed to be jealous of the conversation we were having, so it limited me to autopilot answers while it continued to bombard me. It went down something like:
Anna: “Hey, Luce?”
Me: “Yeah?"
My mind: Chug's gone, and it's your fault.
Anna: “About today..."
Me: “Mhm."
My mind: You let down him down, and you let down Mr. Reggie, too.
Anna: “I'm...I'm sorry about what happened behind the bus."
Me: “No biggie.”
My mind: You let down Dart too, you know. They have him now. Damian has him now. You know it. Your friend is at his mer—
“Hey, where are you right now?” Anna asked me. She stood up and stopped right in front of me, keeping me from pacing. It broke all connection between me and my mind. Anna had asked an excellent question. Where was I? I wanted the answer too. I shook my head at Anna.
“I just got a lot on my mind, I guess.” I lied. She frowned at me.
“Nah.” she said. Then Anna grabbed my shoulders and ushered me to sit down on my bed. She sat down across from me and looked straight at me. The way she did made me feel like she was commanding my green eyes' attention to her. So much for avoiding needless drama.
“Normal high schoolers have a lot on their mind,” she said, slowly and clearly. “Prom; test finals; GPAs; OOTDs; who's dating who; those are what we think about. But we always come back to the real world. With you...” she sighed and shook her head, waiting for the right words to come. “It's like you're not even here,” Anna decided.
“Like I'm...not here?” She shrugged.
“It feels like you're ignoring everyone.” I tucked in my chin, staring at her in disbelief.
“I don't ignore anyone.” I claimed.
“Bull-crap.” Anna said. “I tried to get your attention four times before you finally heard me a minute ago. And I've seen it all first-hand since you came back—” Anna's voice cracked. I just sat and watched, unsure of what to do.
“It's like,” she continued, trying to regain her composure, “It's like my best friend ran away for three weeks, but I'm still waiting for that person to come back. Whoever you are right now, you're just a placeholder, drifting right on by everything around you...I just want to know...” she broke her sentence off, too afraid to say the words. But I knew where this conversation was going, and I didn't want any part of it right now.
“I want to explain, Anna,” I said, “but it's not a good time."
“There's never a good time,” Anna pushed. “That's just life.” Her words hang in the emptiness and silence of the hotel room, quietly constructing a barrier between the two of us that I was afraid would cause us both to drift from one another.
“Every time you float away,” Anna said quietly, “or go somewhere to think...are you daydreaming about running away again? Are you planning an escape?"
“That's not true at all!” I shouted, anger jumping at the chance to rise in my voice, and Anna flinched. Why did I get mad? That wasn't what I wanted at all. “I'm sorry. It's just, you don't know what I'm going through—"
“Save it,” Anna interrupted, getting up from the bed. “I've been waiting since you got back in December—that's six weeks, Lucy—to listen to whatever it is you're going through. But...” she shrugged. “No such luck.”
I sighed, feeling both physically and emotionally drained by this battle.
“Tomorrow,” I finally said. Anna tilted her head,
looking at me expectantly. “I'll tell you everything then.” I explained.
“You've waited this long,” Anna said. “Why stop now?” With no answer to that, I just watched as Anna went to her own bed and nodded off to sleep.
I, on the other hand, lay on my bed wide awake. All my thoughts swirled around in my head like a cup of coffee someone refused to stop stirring, threatening to keep me from rest.
10. Chug Takes His Revenge Too Far
I must have fallen asleep at one point because I awoke to a grinning face hovering way too close to mine.
“Finally, you're awake—”
I never let him finish, reaching up to punch the face in...well, the face. The face—and the young boy attached to it—staggered back from my hotel bed and fell over.
“After all I did,” he said, clutching his left cheek and jaw, “you slug me?"
“Wha?” I slurred, pulling myself out of the adrenaline rush, and out of bed.
I probably should have been taking this situation a little more serious, which included not asking what the boy did, but why the boy was in my room. But to be completely honest with you, the room was half-dark and I was still half-asleep. Part of me thought it was a dream.
“That horrible bus ride!” the boy shouted. “And then, with no warnings I have to change to smoke form, which is significantly harder in Topside, I might add. And after all that patient hiding and waiting, you punch me?!"
“Wait...” I said.
I reached over and opened the blinds to allow light into the room. Then the boy's disheveled hair, pale olive skin, and over-sized jacket all stared up at me. Along with a bright red lump on his cheek.
“Chug! You're here!” I shouted. Then I realized what that meant. I sucked in air through my teeth. “Sorry for sockin' you one."
“Oh, don't worry about it,” Chug said. “It didn't hurt. I'm only teasing you.” Watching him quickly wipe a tear from his face told me a different story, but I didn't argue. Because I also didn't pull that punch.
“Stay focused,” Chug said. “Dart's missing, and we need to go.” I stared at him blankly for a moment. “Now,” he added. “No more arguments. Go get dressed.”
But before I could even start moving to my suitcase, a rapid knock-knock-knock-knock came from the hotel door. Chug hesitated, and then looked to me. Most of my grogginess was wearing off, but not enough to think completely. It didn't occur to me that I ought to answer the door. Instead, I kept with the first objective in getting dressed. I picked up some jeans and a proper t-shirt, and popped into the bathroom.
I mean, anyone willing to knock on your door before you're wearing anything but PJs can stand to wait a minute, right?
As I changed, my phone buzzed with a text message. I picked it up, and frowned. It was from Alice:
“SORRY I MISSED YOU, LUCY. I HOPE YOU HAVE FUN IN D.C.! I CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR ALL ABOUT IT AT OUR PICNIC WHEN YOU GET BACK! LOVE, MOM.”
Now I was definitely awake. And angry. I thought I'd made my point that I wanted nothing to do with her. I never technically agreed to that picnic. As far as I was concerned, sarcasm has not, and will never be, legally binding as far as I'm concerned.
I shoved the phone in my back pocket and finished getting dressed, when again came the knock-knock-knock-knock at the door. I wriggled my way into my shirt and burst back into the room.
“What do you want? It's barely even six o'clock in the morning!” My voice came out a little more grouchy than I expected. I decided to blame Alice's text for that.
“Well, good morning to you too, Mrs. Sunshine."
Halfway to my suitcase, I froze. “Anna?"
“In the living flesh,” her muffled voice came from behind the door. “I just wanted to see if you were awake. I'm comin' in!"
If she got in here and saw Chug…
I wasn’t prepared to unravel that mess of consequences. I bolted from the middle of the floor to the hotel door. I reached for the latch and shut it, conveniently right as Anna tried to open it, so she only had enough room to peek her eyes through. I gestured for Chug to get out of the way just in case she might be able to see him. He quickly shuffled over to the side of the room behind where the door would swing open.
“What are you doing?” Anna asked. “Why can't I get in?"
“I, uhh...I'm moving slow,” I told her. “Still getting dressed right now. Locked the doors.”
“You're just getting dressed?” Anna asked in disbelief. “Well, in that case, you missed breakfast. And the class is going to leave in fifteen minutes for the first trip.” Fifteen minutes. I had fifteen minutes to make it down to the bus in time?
I looked over at Chug. The resolve in his eyes told me what I was trying to ignore. What deep down, I already knew. I wasn't joining the class—I had my own field trip to take. And now, I would have to lie to Anna.
“Wow, uh...fifteen minutes?” I asked, and then I coughed a couple times. “Well, the reason I'm moving so slow is cause I woke up with a bad headache, and I feel really sick.” I coughed again for good measure. I hated how easily the lie rolled off my tongue. “I might have come down with a virus, Anna. I don't think I'm going to make the trip today."
“What? Really?” she asked. “Do you want me to stay and help?” She sounded genuinely concerned, which made the lie feel that much heavier on my back. Over in the corner, Chug shook his head violently. I got the message.
I waved him away, trying to tell him to shut up.
“No, it’s okay,” I assured her. “I don't want to get you sick too. The teachers don't need two students under the weather to deal with.” There was no answer. My heart pounded in my chest. I felt a drop of sweat materialize on my forehead. I didn't like lying. Especially not to my best friend. It was probably making me sick for real.
“I'll let Mrs. Nary know,” Anna finally said.
“Thanks, Anna—"
“But if and only if, you get better before this trip is over,” Anna demanded. “I shouldn't have to remind you of what you said last night."
I knew full well what I said last night, and I regretted every word. Wasn't sure what I was thinking. Still didn't quite know. Maybe I could blame that on Alice too.
“I know. I'll be better by then end of the trip,” I told her. She pulled the door closed behind her and walked off. I turned my back against it, sliding down to the floor and hugging my knees. I looked at Chug, who couldn't seem to keep the grin off his face.
“What's so funny?” I asked.
“Your performance,” he said. I gritted my teeth, and walked over to him.
“Why don't you shut up before I punch you again?” (Wow, was I feeling hostile today or what?)
I didn't want him to think I was being a bully or something, so I hid my face by turning to grab my art bag and my DPHQ hoodie.
“Jeez,” he said. “You asked.”
“I know,” I retorted. “So here's a better question: how the heck are we going to get into the Dust?"
“Easy.” Chug grabbed my arm and led me up to the hotel window. He pulled it open and led me out to the terrace. “First we start with some fresh air...”
The cold Capitol air bit at the bare skin on my arms, making me wish I'd put on the hoodie earlier. Just as I started to, I noticed Chug let a grin a little too devilish escape his lips.
But I figured it all out a moment too late.
Before I could yell “stop,” he pushed me out the fourth story window of a hotel.
11. Long Spaghetti (Aaaand I’m Ready To Vomit)
The craziest part about being too shocked to scream when you're falling is how well you can hear other things.
Most people will probably tell you the wind whips through your ears and makes it super loud, but it's not all true. If you really focus on listening to the world around you, there's a lot to hear while falling four stories. Like other people's screaming while they point up at you.
The sidewalk came up extremely fast, but as it did, I noticed how mushy and dark it w
as, like it was still wet. That or my vision was failing. Next thing I knew, I hit the sidewalk. But no splat.
Instead, the moment my body touched it, I felt like I was being pulled and stretched like dough or freshly made noodles. I wanted to scream, but no sound came out. I felt an itch in my nose and tried to sneeze, but it turned into a one, long violent cough that wouldn't stop. At any moment, I thought I was going to cough out a lung and then...as quickly as it started, it was all over.
When I opened my eyes, I was sitting at a desk. I took a look around, and saw my teacher Mrs. Nary passing out what looked like graded test results to each student, sitting at all the other desks. Even Anna was there, sitting at a desk in front of me. I couldn't see her face, but I recognized her well enough to know who it was.
At first, I wondered how I was back in school. Then it got way weirder.
When each of the kids saw their results, their responses were over the top. Some were super-excited, shouting “whoo!” among other things—which I assumed meant those people got a good score. Others were insanely upset—wrecking notes on their desk or growling in frustration. There was no in-between. In fact, one kid literally did a flip right out his chair and landed on the desk behind him. Mrs. Nary told him to sit down at once, then walked to Anna's desk to hand out her test result.
When Anna read it, I watched as her face fell into her hands for a moment. I couldn't see anything on her face; no sound, no emotion made its way far enough for me to see it. Then, Anna stood up.
“Ms. Anna, please have a seat.” Mrs. Nary said. Anna didn't listen. Instead, she booked it out of the room, snatching the paper off her desk and throwing it in the trash can by the door.
I got up out of my seat to go after her, but I was quickly shoved aside by a kid who said, “Outta my way!” in a familiar voice...
No. Not familiar. I knew that voice.
It was my voice.
I started the young me out of the classroom, despite Mrs. Nary calling me back, but stopped in the doorway. I turned around to grab Anna's test paper out of the trash can. I smoothed the paper and read it over: