When Adara came back in, she was smiling, no sign of tears. “So, tell me what’s bothering you, sweetie.”
“Nothing’s bothering me.” Raven finished her breakfast and used a napkin to wipe her face.
You can’t tell her, Rave.
“You can’t fool me, honey. I know you too well, remember. You haven’t been sleeping. Is it a case? I saw on the news about the body of that girl being found just on the outskirts of town.”
“Yeah, I caught that one.”
“Dear Goddess, sweetheart. I don’t know how you do it. There must be a career out there that’s not so morbid.”
Laughing, Raven picked up her plate and came around the island. “I’m sure there is, but I’ve got the one I want.” She placed her dishes neatly in the dishwasher then turned back to Adara. “You saw Ena over the last few weeks of her life. What happened? I know she was sick, but it came on rather fast, didn’t it?”
Raven Sage Bowen!
Adara placed her hands on the counter, just in front of the sink, and stared out the window. “I suppose it did. She didn’t really complain, she just looked very pale and tired.”
“Did she see a doctor? Go to a walk-in clinic?”
Adara huffed out a short laugh. “You know your mother. Stubborn as a mule. I tried to get her to go see Simone. She said it was just a bit of the stomach flu.”
A silent tear glided slowly down Adara’s cheek as she continued to stare blankly out the window, her knuckles white where she gripped the counter.
“Do you know who called the ambulance for her?”
Adara sniffed, swiped a hand across her cheek then shook her head. “I don’t know, honey.”
Stepping in beside Adara, Raven wrapped her arms around her. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“Oh, don’t be sorry, sweetie. I understand you want to know what happened to your mother.” She leaned her head against Raven’s upper arm. “Cancer’s a horrible disease.” Then Adara straightened and drew in a deep breath. “Enough of this crying now,” she said and plastered a smile on her face.
“Yeah, I’ve got to get to work.” Raven gave Adara’s cheek a peck then turned and swiped a steaming muffin from the island. “Thanks for brekky.”
Adara grabbed the tea towel and snapped it at Raven’s ass, missing by mere millimetres. “Land sakes, child. Cops aren’t suppose to steal.”
Raven laughed all the way down the driveway. She got in her car, took a big bite of oatmeal walnut muffin and closed her eyes, savouring the warmth and taste. “Yum.”
You have to be careful, Rave. I know you like to confide in Adara, but you can’t this time.
Good mood spoiled. How did she know she confided in Adara? Not that it was much of a stretch to figure out. The woman had raised her from the age of fifteen on.
Would it surprise you to know Adara took you in because I asked her to?
Raven’s nostrils flared, heat rose up her neck and flared over her face. “You what?”
You were so angry at me and I didn’t know why. I followed you to the park that night and then I called Adara and asked her to go get you. She was supposed to figure out why you were so angry and then bring you home again.
The warm muffin was squished into a ball in Raven’s fist. She got a napkin from the glove box, lost the muffin, and wiped her hand off. She didn’t have time for Ena’s crap. She had to get to work. She put the car in reverse and backed out of Adara’s driveway then headed towards downtown. What Ena said explained how Adara just happened to wander by and find her sitting on the carousel in the park that night. The two of them planned it. She trusted Adara all these years and it was all a lie.
Can I ask you a question?
“Do I have a choice?” Raven growled. A dull headache spread from the back of her neck up to her temples. She tried to relax her shoulders and crack her neck. It just made it worse.
Did Gregor make a pass at you when you were twelve?
Raven slammed on the brakes and pulled to the shoulder, throwing the car in park before getting out and slamming the door behind her. Her vision kept greying, like she was going to pass out. She placed her hands on the hood of the car and bent her head forward.
He did. Didn’t he? I was seeing him when you were twelve and the night you stormed out of the house he was there. Is that why you were so angry?
She didn’t care who was watching. Raven screamed, “Get out of my head!” Her fists were clenched tightly, the veins in her neck pulsing madly. She literally felt all of the colour draining from her face. Oh, God. She was going to pass out right here on the side of the road.
She heard tires on gravel and looked up to see a car coming to a stop just behind her vehicle.
Mick hopped out, rushing towards her, eyes wide like a spooked horse. She whipped open the driver’s door of Raven’s Charger, grabbed Raven’s hand, and steered her towards it. Then she pushed her back until her calves hit the door frame and she dropped onto the seat. Mick placed her hand on the back of Raven’s neck and pushed until her head was between her legs.
“Okay, just try to breathe now.”
Now she had to add embarrassment to the mix. “I’m okay.” She swatted Mick’s hand away, but she wasn’t quite ready to lift her head from between her legs.
“Have you gotten any sleep yet?”
“Yes.” She’d tossed and turned again even after a two hour run. But she managed a good four hours when she finally did drop off.
“You want to tell me what’s going on, DC?”
Raven could see Mick’s boots directly in front of her own. If she threw up, she was pretty sure she could pull her own boots out of the way and decorate Mick’s. “Get in line.” At least Ena had gone quiet again.
“With who?”
“What?”
“Get in line with who, DC?”
Oh, yeah. Jesus, she was losing it. She fisted her hands in her hair. Ena said she’d get out of her head when she found her killer. So, priority one – find the sorry son of a bitch who killed her mom. She lifted her head, slowly. Everything would stop spinning any minute now.
“Maybe a trip to the emergency room wouldn’t be a bad idea?”
Raven frowned up at Mick. “Do I look that bad?”
Mick winced. “Honestly?” Then nodding, “Yeah.”
“It’s nothing. I was just feeling a little nauseous. I’m fine.”
Mick stared down at her, eyes narrowed. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Why do people ask that when they’re going to ask you anyway? It’s like a warning – I’m going to ask you something bad.”
“Not bad.” Mick grinned. “Just personal. Are you pregnant?”
Raven choked. On what she had no idea because there was nothing in her mouth to choke on. She coughed and sputtered until Mick placed a hand on her head and shoved it between her legs again. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
“Well…the lack of sleep, the nausea … I just wondered if, you know?”
“What? You thought maybe Riley knocked me up?”
Mick sputtered out a short laugh before turning serious. “No, not Riley. Jax.”
“What the frig do you know about Jax?”
Mick sighed and crouched down so she was at eye level with Raven. “I should have probably told you this the other day, but I’m a little bit psychic.”
“What the hell is a little bit psychic? Either you are or you’re not.”
Mick’s little nose wrinkled. “I pick up little bits and pieces from people.”
Oh, this was friggin’ perfect. “So how much of my personal business do you know?”
Nose still pinched, she held up her thumb and forefinger half an inch apart. “Little bits and pieces.”
“Do you know about my mom?”
“What about your mom?” Mick screwed up her nose. “Exactly?”
“Oh, Jesus.” Raven dropped her head again.
* * *
Raven and Mick sat staring at e
ach other over jumbo coffees at a table for two in the Solstice Café.
“Everything. Every little bit you know about me.” Raven didn’t care how bad it was at this point, she just wanted all of it out on the table. When Mick remained silent, she growled, “All of it.”
“Okay, okay.” Mick glanced around at the empty tables then turned her gaze back to Raven. “I know your mom’s talking to you.”
Raven shoulders relaxed infinitesimally. At least now she had someone she could confide in about Ena being in her head. “Okay. What else?”
“Does all this really matter, DC? I mean, will it help anything?”
“All of it. And considering you know all this crap about me, I think you better start calling me Raven.”
“Okay, Raven.” Mick took a slow sip of her coffee then set it down and stared at it.
“You’re stalling.” Raven’s fists clenched on the table and a thick vein in her neck pulsed.
“I know what you’re trying to hide from your mom.”
Her coffee went flying with the table when Raven shot to her feet, but Mick’s somehow ended up in her hand. She sat there holding it up, staring wide-eyed up at Raven. The staff behind the counter stopped what they were doing and stared over at them.
A woman wearing the deep purple café uniform rushed over. “Oh, did you spill hot coffee on yourself? Are you okay?”
“We’re fine.” Raven stormed past the woman and out the door. No one … no one knew what she was hiding from Ena, except Raven and Gregor. That bastard. Jesus. She paced back and forth near the dumpster, away from the windows and the peering eyes of the café’s staff.
“You do realize that at some point you’ve got to let it out. It’s eating you alive, Raven.”
“Sure, now you call me Raven.” She hadn’t even heard Mick come out. She just poofed out of nowhere and stood leaning against the brick wall, sipping her coffee that hadn’t spilled all over the floor.
“All of these panic attacks aren’t healthy.”
Raven stopped her pacing to glare at Mick. “I don’t have panic attacks.”
“Oh, okay.” She took another sip of coffee while Raven went back to pacing. “You did ask me to tell you all of it.”
True. She just didn’t know how to handle anyone else knowing. “Listen. We can’t talk about this. I can’t think about it, do you understand?”
“Yeah, you don’t want your mom to see it.”
“Yeah, yeah. That’s right.”
“I think you might be a smidge,” her voice jumped an octave and she pinched her thumb and forefinger together. “Too late.”
“Ah, fuck.” Raven dropped her ass to the curb, lowered her head between her legs, and shoved her hands in her hair.
Mick took a seat next to her on the curb. “It’s not healthy keeping all of that inside.”
“Really? Where do you propose I put it?”
“Raven. I’m saying that you can talk to me about it.”
Whoa. Yeah, not helping. Her fists squeezed tighter. What she wouldn’t give for a couple of Advil right now. She pushed to her feet, thinking about the bottle of Advil sitting in her desk drawer. “We need to get to work. We’re late.”
She fought off the dizziness and made it to her car, slamming the door as Mick approached. She ignored her and pulled out. The kid was going to pressure her to talk until Raven blew. God help Mick when the lid came off her temper. Mick was only trying to help, but Jesus. She didn’t realize she was playing with fire.
Raven walked into the detachment, made a beeline for the Advil in her desk drawer, and downed four of them with the coffee she picked up from the drive-thru before leaving the café. She’d barely opened her email when DS LaCroix shouted across the room at her. “Rave?”
“DS?” She shouted back then cringed at the pain that shot through her head.
“You need to head over to the courthouse. Your case is going before the judge in twenty minutes.”
This just as she opened the email informing her of such. She picked up her coffee as she got to her feet and headed to the locker room. She wasn’t exactly dressed for court, but she had a suit in her locker just in case of situations like this. She slammed the door open and found Mick sitting on the bench in front of her locker with her head in her hands. At least it was until Raven slammed the door open. Her head shot up and she jumped to her feet. She hadn’t been crying, but she looked pretty wrecked.
“What?”
“Nothing.” Mick dusted off her spotless uniform. “I was just pulling myself together.”
“Why?” It was Raven who needed to pull herself together, wasn’t it? What did Mick have to pull together?
“It just … takes a lot out of me.”
“What does?” She wasn’t making any sense and Raven didn’t have time to drag it out of her. She pulled her locker open and stripped off her shirt and pants, pulling a white dress shirt out of her locker. She shrugged into it and began working at the buttons. “What takes a lot out of you?”
Raven looked up to find Mick staring at her then she turned her head away quickly and blushed.
“Wow. You do have a girl crush on me.” Mick turned a brighter shade of red and Raven laughed.
“No, I don’t.” Her eyes danced around the room, everywhere but in Raven’s direction. “I’m not gay, Raven.”
“Oh, okay,” Raven said in her best Mick impression.
“I’m not. I’m just really jealous of your body. How much time do I have to spend in a gym to get that ripped?”
Raven laughed again. “I think you better just move in.”
“I’m not that fat.” Mick’s arms met across her chest, several inches below her scowl.
“I didn’t mean you were. I have a home gym.” She pulled on a pair of black pants then fished a pair of black boots from the bottom of her locker and sat on the bench to put them on. “I try to go for a run and workout every morning.”
“Yeah, so … I should just move into a place with a gym or get a home gym. Got it.”
“I still think you have a girl crush though.” She stuck her arms into a grey tweed blazer. “Come on. We’re going to court.”
* * *
Raven didn’t give another thought to what had upset Mick. She met quickly with a crown attorney before going before Judge Cromwell. It took less than five minutes to convince him to order the exhumation of Ena’s body for autopsy. Then they went right back to Emily McMurtrie’s case. Raven explained her theory about the Dating Pool to Mick on the way back to the detachment. She changed back into her jeans, everyday boots, and pale blue sweater then spent the better part of an hour tracking down an e-tech at Headquarters and explaining to him what she wanted, which was basically to find common admirers on each of the victim’s profiles on the Dating Pool’s website.
“You know we could probably do this ourselves,” Mick said.
“Yeah, but it would take us ten times as long.” Raven checked her watch. By now, Ena’s body would probably be on its way down to Orillia for autopsy. They could have an answer on cause of death by the end of shift.
You already know the answer.
Raven dropped her head to her desk with a thump then lifted it a bit to thump it down again.
“Headache back?” Mick asked.
“Yes,” Raven answered, a little too forcefully.
“Oh, that headache.”
Why on the Goddess’s green earth did you think that you couldn’t talk to me about Gregor, Rave? No wonder you hate me. Do you think I would have kept him around if I’d known?
Raven lifted her heavy head and looked at Mick with her saddest, puppy dog eyes. “Please shoot me. Just pull your Sig from its holster, point it at my head, and shoot.”
“Sorry. This is a conversation that’s about fifteen years late.” Mick stood and smiled. “I’m just going to grab something from the squad room.”
“Oh, no you don’t. Get back here. We’re working.”
“We’re waiting,” Mick ca
lled over her shoulder and continued out of the room.
She’s right, you know? We should have had this conversation a very long time ago.
“I’m not having a conversation with you,” Raven whispered, glancing around the room.
You can just think what you want to say. I’ll hear it.
“Oh, no you don’t. Get the hell out of my head.” Damn it, damn it, damn it. How the hell do you get away from someone who’s in your head? She pushed to her feet and walked out of the bullpen and right out the front door. And kept walking. A good paced walk might ease some of the tension.
Rave?
“Stop it. Your body is on its way for autopsy. You have my word that I’ll find whoever killed you. Now, get the hell out of my head.” She walked three blocks before she sighed with relief that Ena had disappeared again. Then she thought she heard someone weeping. She looked all around before she realized it was in her head. “Oh, my God. Are you crying?”
There was no response other than her mother sobbing in her head. Not just sobbing, but howling. Her headache was coming back full force. She couldn’t hear herself think. All she could hear was the bawling. “Stop it. If you’re going to cry like that, take it somewhere else.”
Raven was so distracted she stepped into the intersection without looking. The screech of tires drowned out the howling and Raven dove. Pain, sharp and shockingly severe, shot through her hip right down to her toes. She was spinning, spinning, spinning and the world went black.
CHAPTER 6
RAVEN THOUGHT HER head was pounding before. Now it felt like someone was jack-hammering it. She tried to pull herself out of a nasty dream where she’d been hit by a car, but she just couldn’t wake herself up. Her whole body hurt. If she could just shift her position, she could snuggle back in and sleep comfortably. She tried to roll to her side and couldn’t. It was like something was holding her in place.
“I think she’s waking up.”
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