“Can I drive?” I ask, backing away from him to head towards the exit at the end of the hall.
He tosses me his keys and I clap my hands like a five year old, leading the way to the parking lot to jump into the drivers seat of his badass Camaro.
“Do you know what pussy whipped means?” he asks, sliding in beside me to toss our bags into the back.
“Yeah, why?”
“No reason,” he mutters, taking his phone out to connect it to the stereo. “Where’d you wanna go?”
I shrug and reach back to find my own keys, lifting them up to show him the purple devil key chain he gave me all those weeks ago. “Wanna know a secret?”
24
Xander
She looks nervous.
And excited.
Then right back to nervous while she leads me along past her bedroom, stopping to face me fully when we get to a set of double doors at the end of the hall. “This is stupid,” she decides. “Maybe we should just go start a fire or something instea–”
I shake my head at her and take her face in my hands, laughing lightly when I realize she’d rather commit arson with me than show me what’s in there.
“Baby.”
“What?” she asks, bouncing her eyes between mine.
“Will you open it now?”
She takes a breath and shoves the key into the lock, side eyeing me over her shoulder while I follow her inside. She closes the door behind us and I look around, frowning when I find nothing but blackness.
What..?
“This used to be my dad’s office,” she says from somewhere beside me, flicking a switch on the wall to bathe the room in a dark red glow. “My mom didn’t want it for anything so.. it’s mine now.”
I blink and wait for my eyes to adjust, grinning when I spot the several pictures pegged up on the three lines hanging above us. The windows are completely blacked out and she’s got three long tables set up in neat rows, the surfaces filled with bottles of liquid and film cassettes and other materials I can’t name.
“Is this a dark room?”
She nods and tucks her hair behind her ears, smiling to herself when she catches the excitement on my face. I like it when she opens up with me like this, when she shows me things she’s never shown anyone before. It makes me fucking giddy to know she trusts me over them, to know she chooses me over them.
It makes me hers.
“I like this one,” I tell her, carefully hovering my finger below the picture of us kissing on the beach that night, unsure if I’m allowed to touch.
“You mean the only one I didn’t take?” she jokes, making me laugh.
Seemingly more content than she was a minute ago, she washes her hands at the sink in the corner and then walks back over to me, reaching up to remove the photo from the line.
“They’re dry now?” I ask, and she nods, tossing the pegs into the box on the side while she moves along to do the same with the rest.
She tries to explain the whole process to me and I do my best to keep up with her, but I honestly don’t have a fucking clue what she’s talking about. She chuckles like she knows it and removes the last one from its peg, tilting her head at me to follow her to the two seater couch on the back wall. I drop my ass down and she sits back between my legs, comfortably resting her head on my shoulder while she goes through the photos one by one. She lifts her knees up to her chest and I wrap my arms around her waist, enjoying the way her body molds against mine like it was made for me.
“Where’s your dad, Jordyn?” I ask after a while, gently running my thumb over her waist beneath her shirt. “You never talk about him.”
“That’s because there’s not much to talk about,” she says quietly. “I don’t know where he is.”
“What do you mean?”
“He left my mom and married another man when I was five,” she explains, but she doesn’t seem mad or bitter about it. “I haven’t seen or heard from him since.”
My brows dip and I tighten my arms around her waist, leaning over her to kiss the spot beneath her ear. “It’s his loss, baby.”
“I know,” she whispers, turning her head to smile at me.
She reaches up to pull my tie over her shoulder and I watch her run her fingers over it, unable to stop myself from wanting more. “What’s your biggest secret?”
“You are,” she answers, mindlessly threading her tie through mine to knot them together. “You’re my secret.”
“Yeah?” I tease, moving my hands up to squeeze her ribs. “What’s your favorite thing about me?”
“Your abs,” she deadpans. “Definitely your abs.”
I laugh and she moves the photos from her lap to the couch next to us, quiet a minute before she speaks again.
“It’s your take on life,” she admits, still playing with our knotted ties. “The way you’re just you without apologizing for it. The way you put yourself first and take what you want. The way you have fun. I wish I had the balls to be more like you.”
I smile to myself and lift her chin up with my forefinger, leaning into her to speak over her lips. “It’s okay to be who you are, baby.”
“I know but.. what if no one likes who I am?”
“It doesn’t matter,” I say simply. “All that matters is that you like yourself.”
Silence follows and I’m just about to tell her how fucking pretty she is, but then she turns around and covers my mouth with her hand. “My turn to ask the questions,” she decides, spreading her legs out to straddle my thighs. “What’s your biggest secret?”
I smirk at that, grinding my cock up against her pussy while I sort through all the shitty things I’ve done over the years. “I had a threesome with my teacher and her stepson a few months ago.”
Her eyes widen and her mouth parts, her cheeks glowing even brighter than usual thanks to the red lights surrounding us. “Was she married to his dad?”
“Yep.”
“Do you regret it?”
“Not really.”
“What do you regret, then?” she asks, resting her forearms on my shoulders, raking her fingers through my hair. “What’s your biggest mistake, Xan?”
That one hits me where it hurts and I clear my throat, hesitating a second while I consider how to put this. “I uh.. I got my brother killed.”
Her face falls and she pinches her eyebrows together, her eyes filling with tears when she catches the look in mine. “Xan..”
“He wasn’t mad about it,” I whisper, laughing lightly at the memory of the last words he ever spoke to me. “The stupid fucker found it kind of funny, actually..”
25
Xander
three years ago
“Nik, come on,” I complain, dropping down on the edge of his bed to shake him. “You promised you’d take me out.”
“Fuck off, you little shit,” he mumbles, speaking into his pillow. “I’m sleeping.”
“You’ve been asleep all day.”
“Yeah, because I was awake all night,” he throws back, whipping his arm out to shove me down on my ass.
I sigh and pull myself up to stand, smirking when I connect eyes with the naked brunette girl spread out beside him. I wink at her and she winks back, rolling over onto her side to lift her thigh over my brother’s waist.
“Hey, Nik?” I ask, raising a brow at her when she reaches down to wrap her fist around his cock.
“What, Xan?”
“I dare you.”
He growls and throws the covers away, covering his dick with his hand while he jumps up to point a finger at my face. “If Mom finds out about this, I’m throwin’ your sorry ass under the bus.”
I grin and he flips me off, walking away to lock himself in the bathroom. His date looks at me and I step closer to her, but then the bathroom door opens again and he leans over to snatch her hand, pulling her up to take her with him. Her knees hit the floor and I let out a snort, leaving his bedroom to go wait for him in mine.
Selfish bastard.
<
br /> h
A little over three hours later, I’m wasted on a mixture of I don’t know what and Nik’s got some random blonde girl on his lap, smirking at me over her shoulder while she sucks his neck on the upper level of the club he brought me to. His dark brown hair falls over his eyes the same way mine does and she pushes it back for him, wrapping her arms around his neck to grind on his dick through his jeans. I shake my head with a smile and take my drinks from the bartender, turning around to go back to my brother and the rest of our friends, but then a shoulder bumps mine and I whip my head around, accidentally spilling a little vodka on her arm.
“Shit, I’m sorry,” I shout over the music, blinking when I realize it’s the same girl I saw in Nik’s bed earlier tonight. “Hey.”
“Hey,” she mutters, quickly cutting her eyes left and right like she’s afraid of something.
She’s got black streaks of makeup running down her cheeks and her red lipstick is smeared all over her mouth, her neck and wrists covered in bruises that definitely weren’t there when she left my house a few hours ago.
“Are you alrigh–”
“Gen!” a male voice barks from behind her, roughly snatching her arm to pull her into him. “How many times do I have to tell you to stop running away from me?”
She swallows and backs away from him, her eyes wide with genuine fear like he’s about to fucking hit her. He takes a threatening step forward and I set my drinks down on the bar, instinctively moving between them to block his path. He keeps on coming and I shove his ass back, not missing the creepy tick in his jaw or the rage in his eyes, his nostrils split and cracked from the amount of coke he’s sucked up through his nose.
“Get the fuck away from her.”
“Who the fuck is this kid?” he asks at the same time, craning his neck to look at her. “Is this him?”
She shakes her head no and he wraps his hands around my neck, roughly digging his thumbs into my throat to choke me. I pull back a bit to punch him in the nose and he stumbles back a step, angrily spitting the blood from his mouth before he comes right back for more. I’m just about to hit him again, but then he’s yanked away from me by his shirt and I’m surrounded on all sides.
“That’s my fucking brother, you stupid piece of shit,” Nik bites out, shoving him down on his ass to bang his head against the floor.
Shouts and screams fill my ears and our little corner of the club erupts into uncontrollable chaos – his boys fighting with ours while my big brother beats the shit out of Gen’s ex–boyfriend, I’m assuming.
“The one night we bring you out, little Reid,” our friend Justin teases, playfully shaking his head at me while he steals my drink from the bar.
I laugh and search the crowd for Nik, not finding him at first, but then I do and my heart leaps up into my throat, my eyes dropping to the broken glass bottle sticking out of his stomach.
“Nik!” I shout, rushing him in the same breath, but I don’t get to him in time before the guy who just stabbed my fucking brother rips the glass out of his flesh and pushes him back, sending him flying over the railing and down towards the dance floor below us.
No.
Please, no.
More hysterical screams echo throughout the club and I’m running as fast as I can, jumping over the staircase to drop to my knees beside him. He’s still awake, lying on his back with his legs tangled up beneath him, a sickening amount of blood pouring from his stomach as well as the fresh wound on his temple. I panic and rip my t–shirt over my head, pressing that to his temple while I press my bare hand to his abdomen. One of the bartenders drops down beside me and hands me a couple hand towels to use instead, her phone pressed to her ear while she rattles off words and phrases that make me want to throw up.
Stabbed.
Bleeding out.
Fucking paralyzed.
This can’t be real.
His hazel eyes seek mine and he frowns, almost like he doesn’t realize what’s happening yet. “Xan.”
“Nik,” I choke out, barely recognizing the sound of my own voice. “Goddamnit.”
“It’s bad, isn’t it?”
“No,” I growl, frantically shaking my head to reassure us both. “No, it’s fine. You’re gonna be fine.”
He laughs at that, because of course my idiot brother would laugh at a time like this. “You suck at lying.”
Fucking hell.
Thick tears stream over my face and he smiles at me, slowly lifting his hand up to the back of my neck to pull me into him. “Do me a favor, okay?”
“What favor?” I ask, trying and failing to hide the sob creeping up my throat.
“Don’t let this change you into something you’re not,” he croaks out, sucking a shaky breath into his lungs before he continues. “I don’t want you becoming a moody little bitch with no friends and no life.”
“What am I supposed to be?”
“Just be you,” he says simply. “Irresponsible and reckless and fuckin’ stupid, like always.”
I shake my head and he tries to tighten his grip on me, weakly squeezing my jaw to pull my eyes back to his pale ones.
They’re fading.
He’s dying right in front of me and I can’t stop it.
“Promise me, Xan.”
“And if I don’t?”
“I’ll haunt your skinny ass until you cry,” he jokes, smirking when he catches the look on my face.
“You’re not funny.”
“I think I’m funny.”
I cry and rest my forehead against his, hugging him the best I can with my hands where they are.
“Hey, Xan?”
“What?” I ask through my tears, pulling back an inch to look him in the eye.
“I dare you.”
26
Jordyn
present
My heart hurts for him and I bury my face into the crook of his neck, gently running my nails over his scalp in an attempt to comfort him. “It wasn’t your fault, Xan,” I whisper, barely managing to hide the silent tears leaking from my eyes. “You were just a kid. You didn’t know what would happen.”
He chuckles sadly at that, tightening his arms around my waist while he kisses the side of my head. “My parents don’t agree with you, princess. They know I started the fight with the guy who killed him. They think it should have been me.”
“They said that to you?”
He shrugs and I close my eyes, pissed off and disgusted at the way they’ve treated their own son for the last three years. I get they must have been heartbroken after Niko died, I really do, but if I ever have children of my own someday, I like to think I’d love them unconditionally – something we’ve both missed out on, it seems.
“Do you want kids?” I blurt out, immediately kicking myself for asking him that.
Nice work, idiot.
“Yeah,” he answers, not even a little bit put out by my stupidity. “Two boys and a girl. I want us to have the boys first, though, so they can protect her when they’re older. Me and Nik always wanted a little sister.”
I blink at that, slowly pulling back to look at him. “That was a joke, right?”
“No. We wanted to call her Frankie.”
I roll my lips and he smirks at me, clearly waiting for me to call him out for what he said just now – us, like it’s inevitable – but I don’t do that. Instead I run my hands over his neck and down to the chain there, carefully pulling it out to lie it down over his shirt.
“Was this his?” I ask, brushing my finger over the silver cross on his chest. “Is that why you never take it off?”
He nods and I lift my eyes back to his, pulling my brows in when I catch the stupid grin on his face. I’m just about to ask him why he’s looking at me like that considering we’re talking about his dead brother, but then our phones go off with a string of messages and I shut my mouth. I pull mine out to check it and he does the same, both of us looking down to open the three way group chat Kian added us to just now.
&
nbsp; Kian: You two bitches better not miss my party.
Kian: I’m making margaritas.
Kian: Everyone knows you left together, by the way.
Kian: Noah looks like he wants to kill someone.
Kian: It’s hilarious.
Xan laughs and I shake my head at him, setting my phone down on the couch to take his face in my hands. “You wanna go with me?”
“Will you ride my dick first?” he asks, sliding his hands over my thighs beneath my skirt.
I nod a little faster than necessary and he pulls my thong to the side, reaching down between us to take his cock out of his pants. He spits on his fingers to wet my pussy and I sink down on him, moaning at the feel of his piercing inside me. I tip my head back and roll my hips out, riding him just like he told me to.
“Fuck, baby,” he whispers, wrapping our still knotted ties around his fist to pull me into him. “You’re so fucking sexy.”
My pussy throbs at the look in his eyes and I kiss him, sucking on his lips and his tongue while he gets me off with his free hand. I fumble with the buttons on my shirt and shove it down to my shoulders, raking my fingers through his hair to pull his mouth to my neck. He chuckles like an asshole but gives me what I want all the same, still rubbing my clit with his thumb while he teases my pulse with his lips.
I like having his mark on me and he knows it.
My very own dirty little secret.
“Do it,” I plead, ignoring how desperate and needy it makes me sound. “Now, Xan.”
He sinks his teeth into my flesh and I moan loudly, roughly digging my nails into his neck to keep him there. My orgasm hits me like a tidal wave and I grind on him to make it last as long as possible, fucking loving the way he groans against me with his own release. His cum leaks out of my pussy and he squeezes my ass, leaning back a bit to look down between us.
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