Luckily for me, North seemed oblivious to my scrutiny. We said goodnight and crawled into our respective beds after he turned out the light.
Then I waited.
And waited.
And waited some more.
Finally I heard the tiny chirrup of my chronometer and knew it was time. Slowly, being careful not to make a sound, I slipped from beneath my covers. Reaching under my bed, I got my towel which was rolled into a tight cylinder and found the tiny shampoo pellet I’d hidden there earlier—one of the few luxuries I’d brought from home.
Moving as silently as a mouse, I crept to the door, put my hand on the knob and—
“That’s a really bad idea, you know.”
North’s soft, deep voice from the darkness startled me so much I nearly screamed. I turned slowly to see him sitting up in bed, his tiny handheld light illuminating his face.
“What are you talking about?” I tried to sound sleepy and cross. “I’m just going to use the fresher. I had too much fruit drink at dinner.”
“Liar. You’re going to try and sneak a shower.” North frowned at me. “But now isn’t a good time.”
“Why not?” I demanded, too exasperated to lie anymore. “It’s past midnight—everyone should be asleep.”
“You’d think so, wouldn’t you?” he said dryly. “But they’re not. The dorm monitor never goes to bed before one AM and he always makes one more round of the freshers before he turns in. If he catches you out after RLO for any reason other than to take a quick piss, you’ll get licks. Not to mention the fact that Broward could show up at any time and catch you naked and alone—not good.”
I felt the most unladylike urge to swear. Instead I bit my tongue until I tasted a faint coppery hint of blood. “What am I suppose to do then?”
“You’re supposed to shower with everyone else like the rest of us do.”
“Well, I can’t,” I snapped. “And I won’t. If I would’ve known about the facilities here, I never would have come in the first place.”
“So you’d give up your chance to be in the Space Corps just because you don’t like showering with other guys?” North raised an eyebrow at me.
“Yes…no…I don’t know.” I ran a hand through my short hair in frustration. My short, dirty hair. Honestly, if I didn’t get a shower soon I felt like I was going to go out of my mind. I couldn’t stand this state of filth and grime much longer.
“This isn’t really about modesty, is it?” North’s voice got softer and his eyes narrowed as he looked at me. “It’s something else, isn’t it, shrimp?”
“It’s nothing,” I said shortly. “Just go back to bed.”
He frowned. “So you can get murdered by Broward or caught by the dorm monitor? I don’t think so.”
“You can’t stop me,” I said, giving him a fierce glare. “So just turn over in bed and pretend you don’t see me.”
“No.” He shook his head. “Look, just wait a little longer and I’ll go with you.”
“North,” I said in exasperation. “I appreciate your concern but I don’t want to take a shower with you anymore than I want to take one with the rest of our dorm-mates.”
“I’m not going to shower with you.” He was the one who sounded exasperated now. “I’m going to watch your back.”
“What? Why?” I put a hand on my hip. “Why would you do that for me? Because I helped you with that equation?”
“Maybe.” North shrugged, looking uncomfortable. “Or maybe because I know about having something you want to hide—something about your body you’re ashamed of.”
“I’m not ashamed,” I said stiffly. “I’m just…different. That’s all.”
“I know about being different, too,” he said in a low voice.
“How could you know about being different or ashamed?” I demanded. “Just look at you—you’re perfect.”
He laughed dryly. “Thanks, shorty. But I wasn’t talking about myself.”
“Who then?” I came back to my bed and sat on it facing him.
He shrugged again and looked away, not meeting my eyes. “Someone I used to know. Someone I…cared about.”
“Who—?” I began but he cut me off.
“Look, I don’t want to talk about it, okay?” His eyes blazed fiercely in the dim light. “I’m offering to help you break the rules and get a shower—do you want my help or not?”
I bit my lip and looked at him uncertainly. “And you won’t…won’t look at me?”
North barked a laugh. “You may have a pretty face, shrimp, but I don’t think I’ll have to hold myself back from checking out another guy. No, I won’t look.”
“All right, then,” I said with as much dignity as I could muster. “I accept your offer.”
“Good.” He yawned. “Then go back to sleep.”
“What?” I frowned. “But I thought—”
“If you’re going to sneak out, the best time to do it is two or three o’clock in the morning.” North frowned at me. “Trust me—I know. So let’s both get some sleep until then. I’ll set my alarm and get you up at the right time.”
I hesitated for a moment, not wanting to go to bed grimy again, but at last I had to admit his plan was better than my own. “Fine.” I sighed and got back under my covers. “But this has to work. I feel so dirty I’m going insane.”
“Sounds like a short trip for you, shrimp.” North yawned again. “Go to sleep. I’ll wake you up later.”
Still grumbling to myself, I lay my head on the pillow and tried to get comfortable. I was sure I would never be able to get to sleep feeling as irritable and filthy as I did but somehow my eyelids drifted closed all the same…
The next thing I knew, someone was shaking my shoulder.
“What?” I sat up in bed, suddenly panicked and a large hand slapped over my mouth.
“Shhh!” North hissed in my ear. “Keep it down. There’s no point in getting up in the middle of the night if you wake everybody else in the dorm up too! Now are you going to be quiet?” Silently, I nodded and he took his hand off my mouth. “Good, now come on. Let’s make this fast.”
We made our way down the long, dark hallway to the fresher mostly by feel. Once I stumbled but North caught me by the arm, lifting me almost off the floor with one big hand. I managed to keep myself from crying out though a tiny squeak of surprise did escape me. He ‘shhhed’ me and we went on with him still holding my arm—I suppose to keep me from stumbling again.
Once inside the fresher, we had a little light from the illuminated tiles in the corners. They had a faint, blue shine and cast eerie shadows in the dark room, making me glad I wasn’t alone.
We went through the narrow, echoing hall that led from the main fresher area to the shower room and then North stopped and illuminated his tiny handheld light. He stuck it in his teeth and then unrolled a blanket he’d apparently been holding under his arm. Reaching high, he fastened the corners of the blanket to two hooks on either side of the narrow, tiled doorway.
“Muffles the sound and blocks the light,” he explained in a soft voice, nodding at the blanket. “The hooks are supposed to be for a shower curtain but they never got around to putting one up.”
“I see.” I nodded.
“Good. Just keep the shower on the lowest setting and go as fast as you can so we can get out of here.”
“All right.” I nodded again and then just stood there with my arms over my chest.
“Well, what are you waiting for?” North gave me a look of pure exasperation. “Hurry up!”
“Are you going to be in here with me?” I crossed my arms tighter, hugging myself protectively. “It’s not that I don’t trust you, but North I just can’t…”
“Oh right…” He sighed and turned his back to me so that he was facing the make-shift curtain. “Go ahead. I won’t look.”
For a long minute I stood there, shifting from foot to foot, staring at his broad back in the dim light. Would he keep his word? And was I really about to disrobe a
nd take a shower with a man in the same room?
“Go on, shorty.” North’s deep voice was somehow gentler this time. “It’s okay—I swear I won’t turn around. Trust me.”
There was something in his tone that put me at ease. That and the set of his shoulders, which seemed to say he was prepared to wait for me as long as he had to without looking. He had asked me to trust him and somehow, at that moment, I knew that I could.
My Victorian sensibilities cried out against what I was about to do but I couldn’t stand to be grimy any longer. Taking a deep breath, I slipped out of my pajamas and hung them on the closest hook.
I clutched my towel to my breasts, my bare skin breaking out into chill-bumps as I walked several showers down to the one in the center of the long, tiled wall. I had an urge to glance over my shoulder and see if North was looking. But when I did, he was still standing there, feet slightly apart, broad shoulders set, staring steadily at the blanket. Feeling reassured, I turned the shower to hot and the lowest setting, put aside my towel, and stepped into the steaming spray.
I can’t express my pleasure at the feeling of the hot needles of water hitting my tired, grimy body. I felt like the stress of the past few days was melting away, dissipated by the delicious heat of the silky water pouring over me. Ah, bliss…
“Hurry up,” North growled softly and I snapped out of my happy trance. No matter how good the shower felt, I knew I didn’t have the time to savor the sensation. Quickly, I popped the shampoo pellet over my head and rubbed it into my hair, working it in thoroughly.
I used some of the rich lather to clean the rest of my body as well, scrubbing my breasts and between my legs, making sure to keep my back to North at all times. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust North—my instincts told me he was honorable. But I hadn’t known him that long, after all. This way if he did succumb to curiosity and turned around, he would see nothing but my backside. And while I was a little curvier in the hips than a man should be, I didn’t think I was shapely enough to ignite his suspicion.
It was possibly the fastest—and the best—shower I had ever taken. Back home I’d used many different products in my long tresses to keep them silky smooth. But with my new short, mannish cut, the single shampoo pellet was enough. I rinsed my hair and body, turned off the shower, and rubbed the towel vigorously over my dripping hair. Satisfied that I was finally clean, I wrapped the damp towel around myself, knotting it securely above my chest.
“All right,” I whispered, taking my pajamas from the hook I’d left them on. “I’m finished.”
“Good.” He kept his head pointed straight ahead. “Is it safe to look?”
“Yes, I guess so.” I clutched my pajamas to my chest. “I, uh, still need to get dressed.”
“Wait until we get back to the room,” he advised in a low voice. “We’re pushing our luck every minute we’re out here.”
Inwardly, I sighed. Another long walk down the hallway dressed only in a towel. Well, to get the squeaky clean feeling I was currently enjoying, it was worth it. “All right.” I nodded and North looked at me at last.
“You look happier,” he observed in a low voice as he unhooked the blanket and rolled it back up.
“I am.” I smiled at him gratefully. “Thank you.”
“Welcome,” he said gruffly. “Come on, let’s go.”
We walked back in silence, reaching our room without incident. North slid into bed with a rustle of covers and I started to head for the closet as usual.
“Don’t bother.” North snapped off his handheld light which he’d illuminated when we walked in the room. “I can’t see you with the light off—not that I want to.”
“Oh.” I stood at the side of my bed, shifting from foot to foot indecisively for a moment. Then I decided I might as well trust him again. Turning my back to him, I dropped the towel and put on my pajamas as quickly as I could. Then I slid shivering into bed and put my still-damp head on the pillow.
“Finished?” North asked in the darkness.
“Yes.” I turned to face him and saw that he had the handheld light on again and was looking at me with a frown.
“You’re going to have to be faster and quieter the next time we do this, you know,” he said.
I stared at him in surprise. “You mean…you’ll go with me again?”
He sighed. “As long as Broward is still gunning for you, I don’t see what choice I have.”
I frowned. “I don’t want to be a burden. I can manage on my own now that I know the best time to sneak out.”
North shook his head. “Nope, too risky. I’ll come with you.”
“Every night?” I raised my eyebrows. “Won’t that get tiring for you?”
Unexpectedly, he flashed me a grin. “Not as long as helping me out in Inter-dimensional Calc doesn’t get tiring for you.”
“You don’t really need much help,” I objected. “The minute I showed you my sketch you got the concept.”
“Yeah, but I wouldn’t if you hadn’t showed me. You have a different way of looking at things, shrimp.” He sounded thoughtful. “I’ve been here for four years—give or take—and I’ve never met anyone quite like you. You’re…unique.”
“Unique isn’t always good,” I said in a low voice, thinking of my secret. “Sometimes it’s dangerous.”
North laughed. “In this case, I think it’s okay.” He reached across the narrow space between our beds and squeezed my arm briefly. “I wasn’t sure at first but now I think having you as a roommate might not be so bad. You’re okay, shorty. I mean, I don’t know why but I like you.”
“I…” I didn’t know what to say—my tongue was suddenly tied in knots. “I like you too, North,” I finally managed to get out. “Thank you for protecting me from Broward and coming with me tonight. For everything.”
“Don’t mention it,” he said gruffly. “It’s late. Let’s get some sleep.”
“All right,” I murmured, trying to sound normal. But inside it felt like my heart had swelled three sizes larger. He likes me, whispered a little voice in my head. North likes me.
I knew his affection for me was as a friend only but I couldn’t help it—those simple words caused my heart to pound and my knees to feel weak. If I hadn’t already been lying down I might have collapsed.
What’s wrong with me? I asked myself. My pounding heart, the nervous flutter in my stomach—I had read about such things often enough in the few tame romance novels which had escaped the censorship of Victorian society. But I had never felt them myself until this moment. Had never expected to feel them, to be honest. Now, however…
He’s my roommate—I shouldn’t be having these feelings about him, I told myself fiercely. In fact, I ought to be more wary of North than anyone else at the Academy, excluding Broward, of course. Being the closest to me, he was the most likely to discover my secret, if anyone did. But I couldn’t help myself. As North rolled over to go to sleep, I looked up at the darkened ceiling and replayed his words in my head. “…I like you.”
I liked him as well—much more than was safe. It was incredibly stupid of me but I was very much afraid I might be falling in love with my roommate.
Chapter Fourteen
As the weeks passed, I struggled to hide my new feelings from North but it wasn’t easy. Now that he had decided to accept me into his life, he was an extremely loyal friend. We walked together to meals and classes, studied together in the evenings, and snuck out between two and three AM every early morning so that I could take a shower. We began to grow close—a conspiracy of two.
I wondered at times if I was North’s only friend, because I never saw him speaking to anyone else. The rest of the cadets seemed to be in awe of him and left him strictly alone. I was certain if he would have deigned to talk to any of them, he would have been welcomed to any social circle in the Academy, but he chose to remain alone, aloof from the rest—except for me.
Part of the problem might have been his secrecy. He still got defensive and angr
y if anyone mentioned his home or family. I knew next to nothing about him except that he came from one of the wealthiest and most influential families on Apollo. Then again, he didn’t know much about me either other than that I came from Victoria and missed my family. We seemed to have an unspoken agreement not to speak about our homes which I found it best to stick to—no matter how curious I was about his past.
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