“Raina, we’re heading out, are you coming?” Saylor asks, pulling me from the dark path my mind was about to wander down. I look up and see her holding out a bright red and orange beach towel. Right. We’re supposed to be going wake surfing with the guys today.
Last night, it sounded fun, today, knowing I could potentially be in close proximity to Silas, I’m anxious. Not knowing where I stand with him makes my stomach clench. Maybe I should put us both out of our misery and just push everything back into the friend zone, then shut the door and throw the key deep into the woods.
“Raina?” Saylor says my name again, and I blink at her.
“Yeah,” I mutter, before standing and smiling, “I’m still coming.”
Saylor’s head tilts to the side, contemplating, and I hope she does not have her half brother or her real dad’s intuition of reading people. I chuckle nervously. “Are we going?”
“Mmhm.” She nods and starts to lead the way to where the boat is docked.
I follow her down the path, trying to keep my eyes on anything else other than who is already waiting for us once we get past the clearing and to the dock. Not surprisingly, Oaklynn is already there, leaning into Kai while his hand is firmly placed on her hip. Whatever she’s saying, he’s watching and listening with the intensity of a man who realizes he may be on borrowed time with the girl that is perfect for him. I find Ciaran next who, even behind his pair of dark sunglasses, watches Saylor’s and my progress while we make our way over to them. He is ever the protector and judging by the red of her cheeks, Saylor is just as aware of his eyes on her.
I step into the boat after her, hesitantly taking the hand that is offered to me. Silas doesn’t offer his usual smirk; if anything, I’m struck at the tightness lining his features, the way his jaw is clamped so tight, the skin pulls and looks as smooth as marble. I almost choke on air before his eyes meet mine, and there I can finally read the truth. The green orbs sparkle in their intensity, and I don’t miss the subtle flash as they take in everything about me before he clears his throat and takes a seat in the back next to Kai.
The minute Silas isn’t in front of me, the air feels cooler, and my lungs feel like I can breathe again. I’m not sure what that was. I didn’t misread the look he gave me, but everything else about his body language screams, distance. My brow furrows and I make my way over to where the girls are now stationed up front. Maybe he’s feeling how I do, and has decided we should put things back to how they were. Silas has said he doesn’t do relationships; this isn’t new to me. He’s shared enough about his past for me to know he’s been tainted just like I have.
Ciaran drives us to the middle of the lake before Kai stands and zips up his life vest. He cracks a joke and I notice Silas gives him a helping push into the water. I barely stop the small laugh that escapes, thinking how Kai deserves it after the four-wheeling incident, but Silas still hears me. His head turns in my direction and we share a moment before he goes back to joking with Ciaran, never missing a beat. I don’t want to feel deflated, but I do. My emotions are suffering huge whiplash of mostly my own doing.
Pulling my attention back to the conversation around me, I’m vaguely aware of Saylor and Oaklynn making plans for winter break, which would mean Saylor coming to New York. I keep my features schooled, unsure if she is serious or if she is just telling Oaklynn she will, to avoid discussing it further. I can see the small pained expression behind Saylor’s smile, and I give her an encouraging one back. It sucks having to hide your entire life. I know, without a doubt, Oaklynn would be supportive if she knew the truth and that she would continue to stand by her friend, only she isn’t given that opportunity. Again, the guilt from earlier gnaws at my insides.
Eventually Kai loses his balance on the board. Ciaran goes next and then Silas. I make it my mission not to pay too much attention to his run on the board, but a girl would have to be blind not to notice his agility and skill on it. Not to mention the way his muscles flex with every slight movement he makes or when he steadies himself or the way his dark hair falls into his eyes. I feel transfixed and a sidelong look from Oaklynn tells me I’ve been busted. My cheeks heat, and I attempt again to concentrate on the conversation between the girls.
“Raina!” My name is called from the back by Kai, and my brow rises in question. “Are you going to try surfing?”
“Ahh…I never have,” I tell him, running my hand over my ponytail.
“It’s easier than wakeboarding,” Kai tells me. “Si can help you again too.”
My gaze moves to Silas, who is already watching me. I can’t tell from his expression what he’s thinking. I’m dying to know if he’s feeling as torn about the idea as I am. I look back at Kai, like he’s going to magically have all the answers, only to find him smirking.
“Come on, summer girl,” he barks out a laugh, “you know you’re dying to try.”
“Wake surfing looks hard,” Oaklynn chastises him. “Don’t make her if she doesn’t want to.”
Everyone turns to me, waiting for what I’ll do. I’d rather bite my own arm off than have all their attention on me a second longer. I stand and slide my shorts down before sliding my tank off over my head. Kai whoops, telling everyone he knew I would. My eyes roll at his confidence in me.
I make my way to the back of the boat and take the life vest Ciaran offers me. “Thanks.”
Not having to be told, I jump in and swim out to where Silas is now bobbing in the water, waiting for me. “Caved to the pressure?”
I shrug. “Why not live a little, right?”
He chuckles slightly. “This is easier than wakeboarding. The only thing to remember is that once you’re up, let go of the rope. It will repel itself in. Since it’s your first time, Ci will keep the wake even for you. Just find your balance and ride the wave.”
I nod, pretending like I get it, when I absolutely do not. Guess I just need to get up. Silas swims behind me, helping to position the board and my feet. Unlike last time, my feet aren’t in boots on the board; they’re just resting on top. His arms close around my sides, the contact from his skin instantly sending bolts of lightning over my skin.
“What are you doing?” I murmur under my breath.
“We’re both going to get up. My board can fit us both.” His voice sends shivers along my skin.
“Ready?” Ciaran calls from the boat, and Silas waves his hand in the air, before grabbing onto the rope.
“Pull your knees in,” Silas instructs again, and I’m vaguely aware of his own knees resting underneath mine, almost cradling me in the water. My breath hitches in my chest, right as the motor from the boat kicks down and we start moving.
The minute we’re up, I know Silas did it on purpose. Even if wake surfing is easier, there is no way I could have gotten up on my own, without trying over and over again. He makes it look easy. We both pop up without a problem, and I somehow manage to find my balance on the inner side of the board while Silas is on the outside. Cheers and catcalls come from the boat, only I drown them out.
As we glide over the water, Silas rocking forward and backward to ride the waves, my cheeks start to hurt from smiling so much, and a glance back at him tells me he’s enjoying this too. His hand lands on my waist right as the other lets go of the rope, and then we’re surfing.
“Woah.” I exhale, completely transfixed by the wake and the way the sun reflects off the water. It’s magical. Silas’ hand tightens on my waist, bringing my attention to him. Our gazes lock and that same yearning, that same nearness I craved before, comes back tenfold. Even if he won’t have me, there is no way I can just be friends with Silas Montgomery.
Without warning, we sink and water flies up toward us. We both bob up a second later. Silas wipes the water from his eyes and I can’t help but laugh. Between the surfing and Silas, I feel like I just experienced the best high. Adrenaline surges in my veins when I swim toward him. He sees me coming, his green eyes, expectant and unhesitant, when he turns so we’re facing each other.
“You said friends, then we kissed,” I remind him.
His throat bobs, his gaze dropping to my lips then back to me. “We can still be friends.”
I shake my head. “You look at me like I’m more than a friend, and it terrifies me.” I give him my honesty. “Because I don’t know if I can just be your friend either.”
His lips part, an unreadable expression crossing his features. “I’ve never seen a relationship work, Lux, but I do know that I’m not sure I can just be your friend anymore either.”
“Things are kind of fucked-up right now though, aren’t they?” I voice my concern, knowing in his mind Rogue still comes first.
“In this line of work, there will always be something.” He shrugs, his eyes dancing over my head. The motor from the boat is getting louder, our time alone coming to an end.
“Let’s not label it then,” I tell him. “We don’t have to define it as a relationship. Let’s just be.”
My words float between us, and seconds that feel like hours and days pass by where I want to curse myself for speaking, for even thinking this could be a possibility. I can’t believe I put myself out there for my heart to be trampled, but I know in my soul that Silas is worth it. I’ll figure out a way to throw off Nash, to make him see that Saylor is fine where she is. She is safe. I’ll be out from under his thumb and then I’ll be free to be me again.
I don’t get a chance to think anymore. Silas’ hand cradles my face, pulling me into him, while his mouth slams down on mine. The contact is brief, yet strong, a reckoning and a claiming all wrapped into one. I feel hot all over, the urge to wrap around him and to hold him closer bubbles up in my chest. Silas pulls away before I’m ready, but it’s perfect timing as the boat reaches us. My eyes are heavy and I take satisfaction seeing that his lips are red and puffy. If anyone suspects anything, they don’t say it. We’re helped back in the boat and the boys get everything tucked away so we can head back to the cabins.
For the first time I realize the sun is sinking into the horizon, casting pink and purple clouds across the sky. Everyone around me is laughing, talking, acting like normal teenagers. It’s easy to forget who they are, who I am. Somehow, surrounded by these people, I’m starting to feel strong again. If we all can stay alive and survive our secrets, the future could be a beautiful thing.
Silas
“What are you doing?” I grit between my teeth, bending down until I’m level with Reed and where he’s sitting on the porch, his gaze intent on Mila.
He jumps at my voice, before turning to me, looking irritated and pointing to a flesh-colored earbud in his ear.
I give him my best I-don’t-give-a-shit look and lean back.
Reed exhales before pulling the piece out. “Matt asked me to check these to record audio.”
I keep my eyes focused on him, thinking he’ll take the hint and get around to what I was really talking about. Seconds pass and Reed keeps his attention on me. Of course the kid can’t follow along without someone spelling it out, bluntly.
“I don’t give a shit about whatever project Matt has you working on. Why are you fixated on Mila?”
“I’m not.” He shrugs, his brow furrowing. “I’m just watching her.”
“Exactly,” I point at him, “she’s fourteen.”
“So,” he looks to me, “I’m seventeen.”
“Doesn’t matter!” I almost lunge toward him, the urge to actually hit him flashes in my mind.
“What does age have to do with me watching her? You do realize she’s the most vulnerable person here and not because she’s the youngest.” Reed tilts his head, and I pause.
Wait.
What the fuck?
“What are you taking about?” I pull back, taking my dark cloud of bloodlust with me.
“What are you talking about?” He shakes his head, his shaggy brown locks tossing around his shoulders.
“You’re watching Mila because you’re concerned?”
“Should I not be? Just because I’m a target doesn’t mean I’m the most likely to have something happen to me. I can run. I can hide. My face hasn’t been seen in years by the people that killed my parents,” Reed explains, as if his logic makes complete sense and I hate that it does.
We have been so concerned with our targets that I have forgotten up until a few months ago, Mila was one too. Just because we declared her deceased doesn’t mean anyone in Calvin’s camp is buying it. With her being wheelchair bound, Reed is right, she is the most vulnerable to an attack or worse, being taken.
I give him a curt nod, and he turns away, placing his earbud back in. I hear him scoff lightly but choose to ignore it. For now. Reed may have given me something to think about, but I still can’t shake the creepy feeling of any altercation with him. I don’t know if it’s his lack of emotion to just about everything or the almost lifelessness in his eyes. Either way, I don’t want just him watching Mila. She does need her protection discussed though.
I make my over to where my dad is standing, his arms buried deep in the engine of the Gator.
“What does Matt have Reed working on exactly?” I ask, keeping my voice low and my eyes trained on him.
Dad sighs, wiping the grease off his fingers with a worn rag. “Programming the new earbuds. Matt wants them dispersed for the interviews of Rogue members.”
I shake my head, completely disgusted that things have come this far. How did we get here, where people are actually turning their backs on innocent lives?
“I can’t believe this.”
Dad nods his head, peering up at me. “I never thought I’d see the day when our own team was at this point either.”
“And all for what, money?” I question, and he shrugs.
“Money and power.”
He goes back to working on the engine, while I keep my eyes on Reed. Even from where I am, I can see he’s back to watching Mila. Maybe it shouldn’t bother me, it’s not the first time I’ve seen him doing it, and his reasoning is understandable. I just can’t shake the feeling of how eerily similar it is to how he used to watch Saylor last year when she first came to Savage Lakes. It was as if he knew who she was before actually knowing through Rogue that they both were high priority targets.
“We should be more careful with Mila,” I tell him suddenly.
He stops working again, this time standing to his full height, when he gives me his attention. “How so?”
I shrug. “I just had it pointed out to me how she is actually the most vulnerable target here despite the fact that she is supposed to be dead.”
Dad picks up a wrench, twisting it in his hands while he studies the engine again. “It’s not a bad idea. I’ll talk to Matt. Make sure to add some extra security to her room. We can take her with us to the compound more often too.”
I nod in agreement with what he’s saying, glad that we can be on the same page with this. I also realize that again we have more people in our circle to worry about than usual. It’s even weirder that he cares just as much as I do.
“What are you wearing?” My dad asks suddenly, his attention fully on me this time.
My gaze drops down to my dark grey shorts and the white button-up shirt I threw on earlier.
“Going out,” I respond, pushing off against the Gator.
“To where the debutante ball?” He laughs, and my own lips crack a small smile.
When I turn to face him, he must see the seriousness on my face. In truth, I have no idea what I am doing.
“I’m taking Lux to dinner in town.”
His eyes widen, a frown pulling at his lips. “Lux, huh?”
“Raina, whatever.” I lift my shoulders, probably looking as lost as I feel. I didn’t hesitate to put the plan together and I sure as hell enjoyed watching the look of surprise on her face when I asked her. Now I’m not sure. I don’t date. Pick girls up at parties, sure. Mess around with girls here and there, absolutely.
But I’ve never made the effort to actually go out of my way a
nd plan a dinner. When I asked Ciaran about the place in town, I thought he was going die from laughing so hard. Between the guys and now my dad, everyone is looking at me as if I’ve grown a second head.
My dad sighs. “Si, do you know what you’re doing? She’s a target. And she is living with the Saffrans, who are really good friends of Matt’s.”
I nod my head and fold my arms over my chest. “It’s dinner, Dad. She seems to be on the same page with me, I’m just getting to know her.”
A ghost of a smile plays on his lips, before his head falls forward, his chin to his chest. “Be careful, will you? It’s not like we don’t have people hunting us down.”
I grunt in response and slap my hand on his shoulder. As far as bonding goes, this is the closest moment he and I have shared in years. “Sure thing, Dad.”
With one last slap, I head back toward my truck, right as Lux steps out of her cabin. I freeze and let my eyes trail over every detail of her, from her open-toe sandals up to her long tan legs to the fiery red, short-sleeved skater dress she’s wearing. Her long black hair is down, her natural wave giving off a beach vibe. Long gold earrings dangle from her ears, and suddenly, I have to remember to breathe. My stomach coils with each step closer to me she takes, her smile growing wider until we’re standing toe-to-toe.
“Ready?” she asks quietly, her chin tilted toward me. I’m about to say screw dinner and just throw her against my truck, except my stomach takes that opportunity to rumble. Lux giggles.
“Yeah. We better get going.” I usher her around the truck and open the door while she gets in.
I glance around before heading to my own side and praying for a small miracle that no one else is around to witness our moment. As far as I know, everyone is in the main cabin, getting ready for a game night.
Somehow Lux managed to talk her way out of it.
I’m aware of my dad’s eyes while I drive Lux and me away from the cabin and into town. I decided to take her to my favorite place to eat, one the guys and I go to every summer. They have anything you could want to eat there, including breakfast served anytime of the day.
#SummerGirl Page 10