by Jodi Payne
“I’m allowed kisses tonight per our contract, am I not?”
“Yes, sir. For your birthday.”
“Birthday kisses. Such a sweet and thoughtful gift.” He smiled. He hated to think what would happen if their next contract disallowed them again, but for now he was going to take full advantage. He cupped Nikki’s jaw, fingers sliding along the bone, and tilted the boy’s face to his. The way Nikki’s lips parted for him was pure perfection and he took the offer, pressing their lips together.
He thought he might have been satisfied with just that much, but Nikki offered more, opening for him and inviting his tongue, gentle hands reaching out to rest on his chest. He hadn’t intended to moan, or to pull the boy in so close, but Nikki didn’t resist; the boy just melted into his arms.
Oh, God. He’d known it would be sweet, but he never thought kissing Nikki would make him feel…this. It was as if he hadn’t felt anything at all in such a long, long time. Suddenly pieces of him were bright and clear again, pieces that he hadn’t shelved away exactly, but he hadn’t acknowledged in years, either.
He broke the kiss and looked into those bright blue eyes. All he wanted was more. Nikki whimpered and went up on his toes, asking for more as well, but he knew better. They had an agreement.
“To the cross, boy,” he made himself say, not surprised by the rough hint of need in his voice. This was meant to be Nikki’s reward, not a self-indulgent fantasy about the things he hadn’t been offered and couldn’t be sure he ever would.
Nikki had already slipped out of his toga and was wearing nothing but a pair of tight shorts. The bright white of the fabric made the boy’s pale skin seem more like smooth cream. He took a breath and removed his shirt so he could move better, carefully setting the cufflinks aside before going to the wall to select a flogger. The one he chose was heavier than the last one he’d used with Nikki; the tips would probably raise a few welts, leave marks that he would have to tend to, but aftercare was part of the process and good for them both.
He stuck the flogger in his belt and knelt to fasten Nikki’s feet into the cross. “Give me your words, boy.”
“Nickel and dime, sir.”
“ ‘Nickel and dime,’ good boy. I’ve chosen an intermediate flogger. I’ll go easy, but remember to use your words if you need them. Your honesty pleases me—it’s not about how much you can take but about making sure I understand your needs. Setting limits is important. Use them if you need them.”
“Yes, sir.”
He took note of the hungry bulge in Nikki’s shorts and was glad he let the boy keep them on. He only had so much self-control.
Bradford stood and strapped Nikki’s wrists in, listening to the deep breaths his boy was taking and the comfort Nikki took in just the bondage alone. When he was done, he let his hands move over Nikki’s skin, tracing the slope of his boy’s shoulders and the line down to Nikki’s narrow waist.
He followed that by placing a light kiss between Nikki’s shoulder blades and smiled as his boy drew in a sighing breath. “Sir.”
It was possible that sort of kiss wasn’t strictly contracted, so he waited to see if Nikki would protest, but heard nothing.
He swung the flogger through the air, testing the weight and balance. He knew this one well and didn’t need much practice, but he wanted Nikki to hear it and anticipate.
“All right boy, we’ll get started.”
“Yes, sir. I’m ready.”
“Remember to breathe.”
He raised his arm twice, bringing the flogger down high on each of Nikki’s shoulders. The sound was loud and satisfying and Nikki cried out, rocking against the cross. “Oh, God.”
Bradford paused, watching his boy’s beautiful pale skin turn pink and giving Nikki a moment to recover. “I don’t hear words, boy.”
“No, sir. I…” Nikki took a deep breath and let it out, his stance still strong. “I’m ready.”
Nikki’s reward was going to be a gift to them both. “Good boy. Two more then, just a hair lower.” He didn’t hesitate and landed two more blows, exactly where he’d intended.
The boy moaned softly and nodded. “Thank you, sir.”
He hadn’t requested thanks, and the beauty of the offer left him a bit winded. He took a step away, making sure his focus was where it should be before swinging the flogger in the air once more and returning to his spot behind his boy. “You are welcome. A few more now, remember your words and call them out loud if you need to.”
“Yes, sir. So ready.”
Bradford let his arm fly, counting six, seven, eight satisfying blows without a safe word before he stopped and went to Nikki to make sure his boy was well and whole.
Nikki was moaning softly and sweating lightly, but he seemed steady on his feet. “How do you feel, boy?”
“Good,” the boy answered immediately. Nikki’s voice was rough but not weak, and his expression was beautiful and blissed out. “So good. Oh, God.”
All the same, he stalled a bit by inspecting the welts and stroking Nikki’s shoulders and arms with soothing fingers. “Such a good boy,” he whispered. “Beautiful.”
Nikki arched toward him, the boy’s ass pressing into his groin. “Oh, sir. You’re hard.” The boy did it again, this time grinding into him much more deliberately.
He lost himself in the friction, groaning and wanting. “Boy.”
“Your boy.”
“Oh, Nikki.” He tucked the flogger into his belt and dug his fingers into Nikki’s hips, letting the boy tease and feeling his own desire begin to settle into his balls.
“Touch me. Please, sir. Please?”
He moaned and reached for Nikki, fingers just grazing the boy’s erection before he snatched his hand back and stepped away.
“Sir?”
Dammit, he was hard as granite, and he wasn’t thinking clearly. He took a deep breath, steeling himself against his own hunger, and watched Nikki closely. Not part of our agreement, he reminded himself sternly. Nikki was floating and vulnerable, and as much as he wanted the boy, he knew better.
“Sir! Please.”
“That’s not in our contract, boy.”
“It’s okay. I want you, I do. Please.”
“No, boy. I won’t. That would break my promise to you. It would violate our agreement.” His voice was rough as gravel, and he had to work to be sure he was heard.
Nikki whimpered and started slowly humping the cross, and he watched, mesmerized as that pretty ass clenched and rolled, and listened to Nikki’s breath hitch.
“Enough, boy,” he said finally, but Nikki didn’t seem to hear. He cleared his throat and tried again. “That’s enough, boy!”
Nikki froze, panting, everything in the boy’s body going still and tense.
“You do not have my permission to—”
“Dime, sir!”
Hearing that safe word was shocking, and Bradford went immediately into safety mode. He tossed his flogger to the floor and stepped close to Nikki, reaching for the boy’s cuffs. “I’m right here, boy. Let me get you down. Have I injured you?”
“No, sir.”
He couldn’t imagine he had, but he had to ask anyway. He took a deep breath and quickly freed Nikki’s feet first and then the boy’s hands trying to let go of his initial panic at hearing the boy’s hard-stop safe word. “What is it, boy? What happened?”
Nikki stepped into him and pulled him down for a kiss. He blinked and broke it off almost immediately, pushing the boy out to arm’s length. “Nikki?”
“I ended the scene. That ends our agreement, right?”
What? Did he…was he hearing that right? “What?”
“I ended the contract with my safe word. That means we can fuck now, right?”
“Nikki—”
“You want to, I know you do.”
“No.” He shoved Nikki back a step and Nikki blinked at him, looking wounded.
“N…no?”
Jesus Christ. “Well, yes. But not now. Not—” He shoo
k his head. “Kneel, boy.”
“Bradfo—”
“Goddamnit. I said kneel, boy.”
At Bradford’s shout, Nikki gasped and dropped to his knees like he’d been hamstrung, gaze falling to the floor. “Sir—”
“Not another word.” He took a deep breath, trying to get his temper under control. His temper, his goddamn libido…what in the name of God was happening here?
Nikki went silent and still, and that made it easier to think. To concentrate. He rolled the last few minutes over in his mind, trying to figure out where he’d gone wrong. Where Nikki had made a mistake. Where their evening went off the rails and became…this.
On the one hand, it was simple to distill this down into something coherent; he was a pervy old man with a hard-on, and Nikki was lovely and sweet and wanted him. Be that as it may, that wasn’t everything. That wasn’t a fair representation of what had happened here.
They’d kissed. Bradford certainly hadn’t expected that moment to be as powerful as it was, and he presumed the boy hadn’t, either. He’d thought it would be all in good fun. A little tease and nothing more. He wasn’t sure which of them had led them down a different path, but it was most certainly his responsibility. There was no question he wanted Nikki, and until tonight he’d been very in control of that hunger…right up until they’d kissed, and Nikki offered him a much deeper, more intimate connection than he had been prepared for.
Had this been someone like Noah, a sub with great experience, Bradford would be handling this differently. An experienced sub like Noah would have been well aware of what they were doing, and Bradford would likely have dealt out a harsh punishment for attempting to break their contract. But Nikki was green, and Bradford was obligated to be teacher and mentor first, Dom second. And lover was…well, at this point it was far behind all that. Allowing behavior strictly forbidden by their contract would be irresponsible at best, and an outright violation of trust at its worst. What would the boy learn from that?
He paced away a few steps, thinking, forming his thoughts into words.
“Contracts are carefully and respectfully negotiated, and then followed to the letter. Heat of the moment decisions in-scene are not safe or sane, and in a case like this one, in which you—
in which the sub—is floating on endorphins, to diverge so drastically from a contract’s provisions could not reasonably be considered consensual.”
He said it out loud both to hear it himself and to give Nikki something to think about. He paced the room, moving past Nikki without pause.
“I refused your advances because it is my duty to see that your needs as you have expressed them to me, are met, and your boundaries respected. You put that trust in me when we made our agreement.”
“But—”
“Nikki!”
Dammit!
Temper, Bradford. Control your emotions. You do not maintain a man’s respect by shouting.
Harrison’s words filled his mind as if the man were standing right next to him, both startling and soothing him at once.
Save me from myself, Harry. I want this boy like I haven’t wanted anyone since I had you.
He needed to breathe, get perspective, sort this out for himself. And although he desperately wanted to, he knew he couldn’t just send Nikki away. The boy’s skin needed tending to at the very least. He walked over to Nikki and rested a hand against the boy’s cheek. Nikki silently leaned into the touch, understandably seeking reassurance. They stayed like that until Bradford felt them both breathing easier, then ordered Nikki to the couch along the far wall.
“Lie on your stomach and I will tend to your back, boy.”
Nikki moved silently to the couch, head down, eyes low. He knew the boy had to be contending with need, arousal, and a host of conflicting emotions: everything from rejection to embarrassment. He felt for the boy; this was a tough lesson and Nikki was going to have to sit with it for a while.
He went to the first aid kit and pulled out ointment and an ice pack and got to work.
19
After that disaster, Sir—Bradford—led Nikki to the brownstone, brought him Tylenol and tea, and tucked him into bed.
Like he mattered, like he was worth all that fuss.
But Nikki didn’t feel worth it at all.
He did sleep some, but he woke up in the darkness of the middle of the night and couldn’t go back to sleep. His heart hurt. His mind was racing. He couldn’t be at Bradford’s right now. Everything he looked at reminded him where he was, who owned the place.
He couldn’t think.
Nikki got out of bed, pulled on jeans and a hoodie, then headed out into the late-night-quiet street. Despite the light rain, it was a decent night for a walk. But even if it hadn’t been, he was pretty sure he’d be out walking in it anyway.
He didn’t need to think too hard about where to go at least. His feet took him downtown toward the paved paths along the river, and the public park where he’d spent most of his nights before he met Bradford. Before he got his first ever job.
Well, not his first job, but his first legit job.
The longer he walked through the familiar streets, the more his mind wandered. He kept getting distracted. His night with Bradford came back to him as sounds and images in his mind. The smell of the leather-covered cross in the playroom. The sweet sting of Bradford’s flogger. The velvet warmth of Bradford’s tongue gliding along his own. The undeniable ache of his hard-on.
The edge in Bradford’s voice.
Jesus, he’d fucked up good this time. And on Bradford’s birthday of all days, when all he’d wanted to do was—
All he’d wanted to do was please his Dom. Make Bradford happy. Offer his Master a gift.
Instead he’d lost his shit and broken some sacred rule of contracts or fucking or something he didn’t understand. He’d insulted the man. He’d made Bradford angry.
God, he was so fucking embarrassed. Humiliated. He ought to have known. By now he should have understood the rules. He should have known better than to think he could belong in that world.
He should have known he’d fuck something up eventually.
He looked great in leather, in his harness, rubbing elbows with men that had money and were way smarter than he was. But the harness was just his ticket into the club. Nikki would never have what those men had, never be what those other subs were, no matter what Bradford said.
No matter how hard he tried.
He took a deep breath and tried to let it go. Dark night, wet street…this felt better, being out here in the damp quiet. This was familiar.
He walked beside the dark water along a path that was well lit in some places and hardly at all in others. He used to sleep in those shadows. He could go all night unnoticed by people walking in the light. Maybe he’d sleep out here tonight, find one of his old spots where he could think about what to do next. Where to go.
He walked a long while, until the rain started coming down harder and he’d run out of path. His friends—his former friends—the ones that turned tricks, knew this area of the park better than he did. But he knew if he followed the dark path around, it came out on the street where Kit lived in this apartment with a bunch of other guys. It was a pit, but it was out of the rain, and they’d let him crash there tonight.
“Take a walk?” A voice behind him asked, startling him into turning around. “Twenty bucks.”
Fuck. “I’m not—sorry. I don’t do that.”
“Twenty bucks to suck my cock.”
“Not happening.” Nikki started walking away, staying in the light.
The guy followed him and crowded him against a low wall. “Come on you little prick. I’ll give you thirty.”
“No. Not twenty, not thirty. Not happening. Fuck off.” Don’t look scared.
This wasn’t Nikki’s first experience out here, but this guy wasn’t taking no for an answer.
“Why are you out here then, pretty boy?” The guy’s hand landed in his groin. Nikki made a
fist and took the first punch, heart pounding. A kid had taught him a lesson his second night on the street, and the words played over, loudly, in his head.
If you’re going to try to take him down, you better make sure he can’t get back up.
So Nikki threw a second punch, then grabbed the guy by the shoulders and planted a knee in his crotch. The guy cried out and doubled over, and Nikki took off running.
But he didn’t get far.
“I’m really glad you called me.” Brian was standing in front of Nikki, hands in his pockets.
“Fucking cops.” Nikki lifted the ice pack off his knuckles and looked at his hand, wincing at the bruising and the split skin. He’d had to call someone, and he’d thought hard about who it should be. Then he’d remembered Brian helping Levi home from the bar, how discreet the guy had been about that, and kind too. He’d decided Brian was the one to call.
“Weren’t you scared? That guy might have come after you, Nikki. At least now he’s in custody.”
“Have you ever tried to explain fresh stripes from a flogger to a guy in a cop uniform? They assumed I was a whore, Brian. They thought I was—I mean do you know what that feels like?”
“I…no.” Brian looked down at his shoes.
Nikki looked at his friend and sighed. “I’m sorry, Brian. I’m just…really tired. Just ignore me. I appreciate you coming out here to get me.” Fuck, his hand hurt. The EMTs had a look and said it wasn’t broken, so he’d refused treatment at the hospital, but he was starting to have second thoughts about that now. He maybe could have asked for something to help him sleep. “Can you get me out of here, please?”
Brian looked at him and shook his head. “I can’t. I was told you have to wait for paperwork.”
Nikki stood up with a growl, the frustration of his whole evening starting to bubble over. “God dammit!”
“Hey.” Brian stood up and followed him, put a hand on his chest. “It’s okay, Nikki. Just breathe. We’ll go home and talk, okay? I’ll make some cocoa or tea or something. I’m a good listener, I swear. Just stay calm so we can get out of here.”