by Louis Sachar
That wasn’t enough time to turn into a girl.
He backed away from his bed and knocked over his desk chair. As he set it back up, he found himself staring at the ugliest face in the world!
He screamed.
He quickly covered his mouth.
It was just General Jackson. Safe in the glass cage.
That shouldn’t have scared him. “I’m not afraid of a lizard,” he said.
Girls are afraid of lizards.
He looked right into the eyes of General Jackson. To prove he wasn’t afraid.
“You don’t scare me,” he said.
General Jackson stuck out his tongue.
“How gross!” said Marvin.
He covered his mouth again.
Girls think lizards are gross.
“I don’t think you’re gross,” he told the General. “I don’t. I really don’t. In fact, I think you’re cute.”
He covered his mouth.
Girls think lizards are cute.
He ran to the bathroom.
He looked at himself in the mirror.
He tried to look just at his face. Not the hair. Not the Ninja Turtle pajamas. Just his face.
It looked just the way it always did.
Except something about it was different. He rubbed his eyes. It was sort of … pretty.
He studied his face. He had a girl’s nose!
As he looked at it from every angle, he became more and more sure of it.
“Oh my gosh,” he said. He bit his finger.
“Hi, Marvin,” Linzy said sleepily as she entered the bathroom.
Marvin could see her in the mirror. “Linzy, can I ask you something?” he said.
“Okay,” said Linzy. She yawned.
“Okay, look at me,” said Marvin. “This is real important.”
He knelt down and put his hand on her shoulder. One thing good about little kids—they always told the truth.
“Look at my face,” said Marvin. “Do I look like a girl?”
Linzy looked hard into his face. She touched his cheek. Then his ear. “Yes,” she said.
“What?” exclaimed Marvin. “You’re crazy, Linzy! That’s stupid! You’re just a stupid little kid!”
A frown slowly formed on Linzy’s face.
“I’m sorry,” said Marvin. “I’m sorry, Linzy.”
But it was too late. She was crying.
“I’m sorry,” Marvin said again. He sighed. “Okay. Why do you think I look like a girl?”
“You look like a boy,” Linzy sobbed.
“Then why’d you say I looked like a girl?”
“I don’t know,” she said, still crying.
“You must have had a reason,” said Marvin. “Just tell me. I won’t get mad.”
“I have to go potty,” said Linzy.
Marvin waited while his sister used the bathroom. At least in that way, he knew he was still a boy.
“I’m sorry I yelled at you,” he said when Linzy was through. “It’s just—” He stopped. “If I tell you something, do you promise not to tell?”
Linzy promised.
“I think I’m turning into a girl,” said Marvin.
Linzy’s mouth dropped open. “I always wanted a sister!” she exclaimed, instantly happy. “That’s what I wished for on my birthday cake. I blew out all the candles.”
Marvin laughed.
“You’ll be such a good sister, Marvin!” said Linzy. “We can play dress-up! And comb each other’s hair. And you can teach me how to put on lipstick.”
Marvin smiled at his sister. “We can have a tea party,” he said.
“Yes!” said Linzy. “And no boys allowed!”
Marvin laughed.
Linzy laughed too.
In the middle of the night, Marvin and Linzy sat on the bathroom floor giggling at each other.
6
Off to School
“What happened to you?” Jacob asked when Marvin dragged himself downstairs in the morning.
“I didn’t sleep too good,” said Marvin.
He had stayed awake all night trying to kiss his elbow.
“More bad dreams?” asked his mother.
“I guess,” Marvin muttered. He poured himself a bowl of cereal.
“Your voice sounds funny,” said his mother. “Do you feel all right?”
“I think I’m getting a cold,” he said. He hoped that’s all it was.
Linzy smiled at him.
He stared down at his bowl of cereal. He had to hold his head up to keep from falling into it.
Ten minutes later Marvin was still staring at his bowl of soggy cereal.
“Pony or piggies?” asked his mother.
She was combing Linzy’s hair.
“Piggies,” said Linzy.
Marvin watched his mother give Linzy pigtails.
Girls are lucky, he thought. They could wear their hair in lots of fun ways. Pigtails. Ponytails. Bangs.
He liked bangs.
No, I don’t! he told himself. I don’t like bangs. I don’t want bangs. I don’t want to wear my hair like a girl. He didn’t know why he had thought such a thought.
It was just that girls had longer hair, he decided. That was a fact. So they could wear their hair in lots of different ways. That was all there was to it. It didn’t mean he wanted bangs.
Like the way girls dress. Boys just wore pants. But girls were lucky. They could wear anything! Pants or skirts or dresses. And they could wear sparkles on their clothes. Boys didn’t get to wear sparkles.
No! I don’t want to wear sparkles! I don’t want to wear a skirt or a dress! I like wearing pants.
“Mar-vin!” called Jacob. “Stuart and Nick are here.”
“Oh my gosh,” said Marvin. He bit his finger.
He walked to school with Nick and Stuart. He tried to act normal.
Nick had a loose tooth.
“Watch this,” said Nick.
Nick opened his mouth wide. He pushed the tooth forward with his tongue, so that it almost lay down flat.
“Oh, gross!” said Marvin.
Nick and Stuart looked at him.
“I mean … cool!” said Marvin.
They got to school before class started.
“Look, there’s Patsy Gatsby,” said Nick.
Stuart laughed.
Patsy Gatsby was sitting alone playing jacks.
She was the weirdest girl in Marvin’s class. Even weirder than Casey. Sometimes all you had to do was say her name, Patsy Gatsby, and everyone would laugh.
But Casey was funny-weird, Marvin thought. Patsy Gatsby was sad-weird.
She was always so quiet. Like she was afraid of people.
She didn’t have any friends. No one ever talked to her.
Except Clarence. Clarence called her names. Worm-Face. Stupid-Head. Ugly. Double-Ugly. Stink-Girl.
Marvin watched her bounce the red ball, then pick up the little jacks.
He had never played jacks. It looked like a fun game.
“Where’s your football?” asked Stuart.
“Huh?” said Marvin.
“Duh,” said Nick.
Marvin suddenly remembered. He was supposed to bring his football.
“Now what are we going to do?” asked Stuart. “Play jacks with Patsy Gatsby?”
Nick laughed.
Marvin looked at Patsy.
Maybe she isn’t the weirdest girl in class, he thought. Maybe I am.
He tried to think of another game to play. He didn’t want to let his friends down.
Then he got a great idea. He didn’t know why he had never thought of it before.
“Do you want to play hopscotch?” he asked.
7
It’s Fun to Be a Girl
Marvin sat at his desk in Mrs. North’s room.
He didn’t see what was so bad about hopscotch. He didn’t know why Nick and Stuart had laughed at him.
It takes a lot of skill to play hopscotch, he thought. Boys are just stupid!
>
No, I don’t mean that! he quickly told himself.
But girls were smarter than boys. That was a fact. Everybody knew that.
Or did they?
He couldn’t remember if he used to think girls were smarter. Before he kissed his elbow.
He concentrated on his work.
He had been learning cursive writing.
He had the worst handwriting in the class. It was usually so bad, even he couldn’t read it.
That was because he always wrote so fast.
But now, instead of rushing, he wrote each letter slowly and carefully.
Mrs. North walked past his desk. “Very nice, Marvin,” she said.
Marvin smiled. It wasn’t so hard to write neatly, he realized. If you just took your time.
He wrote each letter just the way he had been taught.
Except he didn’t dot his i’s. Instead, over each letter i he drew a tiny heart.
He yawned.
He wished he could close his eyes for just a few seconds.
“Go to sleep, Marvin,” said a voice inside his head.
It was a girl’s voice.
“Close your eyes,” the voice said softly. “You’re halfway there.”
He rubbed his eyes.
“What’s wrong with turning into a girl?” asked the voice. “Girls are better than boys. Girls are smarter. Prettier. Braver. Girls can have ponytails. Pigtails. Bangs. Girls can wear sparkles on their clothes.”
Marvin’s eyes shut for a second, but he quickly opened them.
“Girls can do somersaults, Marvin. Your four-year-old sister can do a somersault, and you can’t.
“Girls can hang from the monkey bars upside down by their knees.”
Marvin had always wished he could do that.
“Girls can go into the girls’ bathroom,” said the voice. “Don’t you want to go into the girls’ bathroom? And hear all the secrets girls tell in there?”
Marvin wondered what girls talked about inside the girls’ bathroom. They always came out giggling.
“They tell the most amazing secrets,” said the voice. “No boy would ever understand.”
His eyes closed.
He dreamed he was hanging from the monkey bars by his knees. A warm breeze blew in his face. Birds were singing.
He had long hair. It brushed against the ground.
He swung high off the monkey bars, did a somersault in midair, and landed on his feet.
His hair was shiny and silky. It hung over his shoulders.
He shook his head. His hair swished from side to side.
He shook his head really fast. His hair whipped around.
He giggled.
It was fun to be a girl!
Out of the corner of his mouth he blew a few strands of hair off his face.
8
… A Little Different
He awoke to a loud cheer.
Casey Happleton was staring at him. “Oh my gosh,” she said. She bit her fìnger.
“What?” asked Marvin.
“You fell asleep in class!” said Casey. Then she laughed.
Marvin shrugged.
He wondered how long he’d been asleep. And if he had changed at all.
He looked around. The other kids were all excited about something.
“Settle down,” said Mrs. North, “or I’ll have to change my mind.”
“What happened?” asked Marvin.
“We get to go to Lake Park!” said Casey.
“Oh, goody!” said Marvin. He clapped his hands.
Casey looked at him funny. Her ponytail stuck out of the side of her head.
Marvin wondered what it would be like to have hair like that.
“What are you staring at?” asked Casey.
“Your ponytail,” he said.
“What about it?” she demanded.
“It’s cute,” he told her. “But you always wear your hair the same way. If I had long hair, I think I’d wear pigtails sometimes. Or maybe a French braid.”
Casey stared at him. “What’s with you?” she asked.
“Nothing,” said Marvin.
“And your voice sounds so funny,” said Casey. “What’d you do? Kiss your elbow?”
He stared at her.
She stared back.
She knew.
He knew she knew.
She knew he knew she knew.
He knew she knew he knew she knew.
“No!” he said. “What do you think I am? Weird?”
Casey bit her finger.
The class had to pair up for the walk to Lake Park.
Lake Park was three blocks from school. It had a great playground.
Mrs. North sometimes took the class there on Friday if they’d been good all week. “Everyone find a partner,” she said.
Marvin ducked under his desk. He pretended to tie his shoe. He was afraid to be partners with Nick or Stuart.
He needed to find a partner who didn’t know him too well. Someone who wouldn’t notice if he was … a little different.
He peeked out from under his desk.
Stuart and Nick were partners. Travis and Clarence. Kenny and Warren. Casey and Judy. Gina and Heather.
One person stood alone. Patsy Gatsby.
Kenny pointed at Patsy. “The cheese stands alone,” he said.
Clarence held his nose. “And it’s stinky cheese, too.”
Patsy looked down at her shoes.
Marvin made his way across the room. “Would you like to be my partner, Patsy?” he asked.
For a moment Patsy didn’t answer. Then, very quietly, she said, “Okay.”
They got on the end of the line. Patsy kept her head down.
Stuart looked back at Marvin as if to ask, “What are you doing?”
Marvin shrugged. He saw Nick whisper something to Stuart. Then his two best friends laughed.
Warren sang:
“Marvin and Patsy,
Sitting in a tree,
Kay-I-Ess-Ess-
I-En-Gee”
Marvin looked at Patsy. She was blushing.
“Boys are so immature,” said Marvin.
Patsy looked up and smiled at him.
She was wearing black suspenders over her pink T-shirt. Marvin thought it was a cute outfit.
Girls are lucky, he thought, as they walked to Lake Park. They can wear anything. Even suspenders.
But if I wore a dress to school, everyone would probably think I was weird or something.
Maybe not? He wasn’t sure.
Maybe he should wear a dress to school tomorrow, he thought. See what the other kids think.
Oh, I’m so silly, he suddenly realized. There’s no school tomorrow. Today’s Friday.
Patsy Gatsby was quietly humming to herself.
“Do you think it would be weird if I wore a dress to school?” Marvin asked her.
She looked up, then giggled.
Marvin giggled too.
He didn’t know why he was giggling. It was fun just to laugh.
“In Scotland men wear skirts,” said Patsy.
“Have you been to Scotland?” asked Marvin.
“No,” said Patsy. “I read it in a book. The skirts are called kilts.”
“You read a lot, don’t you?” asked Marvin.
Patsy blushed. “I guess,” she whispered. She looked back down at her shoes.
“I see you playing jacks a lot, too,” said Marvin.
Patsy shrugged.
“I’ve never played jacks,” said Marvin.
“You like to play wall-ball,” said Patsy.
Marvin was surprised she knew that. But then he knew she liked to play jacks. So why shouldn’t she know he liked to play wall-ball?
“You should play wall-ball sometime,” he suggested.
Patsy turned and looked at him. “No,” she said, then looked back at her shoes.
“It’s easy,” said Marvin. “I can teach you.”
Patsy didn’t say anything.
&n
bsp; “And you can teach me how to play jacks,” said Marvin.
Patsy laughed. “You’re funny, Marvin!” she said.
Marvin froze. He was afraid Patsy might have noticed something different about him. “What do you mean?” he asked.
“You’re nice,” said Patsy.
9
He Wouldn’t Hit a Girl
Nick and Stuart were waiting for Marvin.
“How’d you get stuck walking with Patsy Gatsby?” asked Nick.
Marvin shrugged. He looked at Patsy. She was already walking away, head down.
“Was she weird?” asked Stuart.
“No,” said Marvin. “We just talked.”
“Ugh!” exclaimed Nick. “You talked to her!”
“C’mon,” said Stuart. “Let’s go climb the spiderweb.”
The giant spiderweb was Marvin’s favorite thing at Lake Park. It was made out of rope. It was fun to climb, but scary. Especially way up at the top.
Marvin started toward it, then stopped and glanced back at Patsy.
She was sitting on the sidewalk. Playing jacks.
She didn’t notice Clarence, Travis, and Kenny standing behind her.
She bounced the red ball.
Clarence kicked it. “Oops. Sorry, Worm-Face,” he said.
Kenny and Travis laughed.
“C’mon, Marvin,” said Nick, heading toward the spiderweb.
Marvin started after his friends, then stopped again.
He watched as Patsy tried to walk away from Clarence.
“What’s the matter, Stink-Head?” asked Clarence. He grabbed one of her suspenders.
“Let go,” said Patsy.
Clarence pulled the suspender way back, then snapped it against her.
Travis and Kenny laughed.
Clarence grabbed her other suspender and snapped it, too.
“Quit it,” said Patsy.
“Quit it,” teased Clarence.
“Leave her alone!” said Marvin.
Clarence turned. “What’s your problem, Redpost?”
Marvin marched right up to Clarence. “You think you’re so tough, Clarence!” he said, hands on hips. “Well, you’re not. You’re just stupid and gross.”
“I can beat you up,” said Clarence.
“Oh, gee, I’m scared,” said Marvin. He turned to Patsy. “Clarence thinks he’s really great, just because he’s the biggest kid in the class. Well, the only reason he’s so big is because he’s been left back a hundred times.”