“I would have guessed more.”
“He probably feels heavier because his body has no tone. He’s nothing but dead weight.”
He drops like a rock onto the bed. “I think the morphine is working.”
I hope that’s all it is and not some kind of underlying issue I missed.
“Thank you for bringing him up here. He wouldn’t have been very comfortable on one of the treatment room beds.”
“No problem. Mum’s staying with the bairns?”
“Yes.”
Sin embraces Bleu but looks at me. “I want you to know that was hell for me, but it’s done and over.”
Done and over. “That’s the only good part about it.”
Sin kisses the top of Bleu’s head. “It was a long night. I’ll be asleep on the sofa if you need me.”
I look at Jamie’s battered body and all I want to do is breakdown and cry, but that does nothing to help him. “Will you help me get him out of his clothes so I can bathe him?”
“Whatever you need me to do.”
I cut his shirt off first and then his pants but leave him in his boxer briefs. Those won’t come off until after Bleu is gone. “I put a basin next to the bathroom sink. Will you fill it with warm soapy water and bring it to me? And a washcloth?”
“Yeah.”
Jamie’s filthy. Absolutely bloody from head to toe. Makes me so angry to see him in this kind of condition. How? How could they do this to one of their own? It’s inhumane.
After I’m finished cutting away his clothing, I bathe every inch of his exposed body. He’s in worse shape than I imagined—countless cuts, bruises, and abrasions.
He moans loudly when I wash his right side. “That’s how Sin acted when I washed him there. His ribs were broken, and I bet Jamie’s are too.”
“I’ll need to splint that so he’s not so uncomfortable.”
Bleu takes a closer look at Jamie’s upper arm. “Sin’s shoulder was dislocated. You might want to check his.”
“I’m going to do an in-depth head-to-toe exam after his bath.” I already see a couple of lacerations that could use a stitch or two.
“Mac?”
“I’m here.”
“Our baby girl… looks like you. She has your… black hair.”
Either the morphine is making him hallucinate or he’s dreaming. I’m not sure which. “We don’t have a baby yet.”
“Our son looks like me but has your beautiful green eyes.”
I look at Bleu and smile. “Does he now?”
“Aye.”
“We only have two kids?”
“No. Four.”
“Oh, I bet we’re really busy.”
“Baby batter… in your bowl. Bun in… oven.”
I giggle and look at Bleu while shrugging. “Narcotics. They make people say the funniest shit.”
It takes every bit of an hour to bathe Jamie and do his full assessment. I’m totally exhausted when I change clothes and finally crawl into bed beside him.
He’s sleeping. His respirations are deep and steady. “Love you, Doc. There aren’t enough words to thank you for this… this act of love.” I can barely get the words out as sobs threaten to consume me. “No one has ever demonstrated such selfless love, and I’m struggling with guilt as a result.” I will never doubt this man’s love. Never. “I’m going to make sure you never regret going through hell for me.”
I lift his hand from his side and place a kiss on top. “Into me, you see.”
Chapter 17
Jamie Breckenridge
Nothing on my body is free of pain. Even my eyelashes hurt when I attempt to open my eyes. My lids are fat and my vision blurry. I’m hoping it’s the side effects of the edema and narcotics rather than something going on with my optic nerves.
I shift and my brain immediately throbs. Rebound pain from the narcotic. I hate that shite.
I look at my surroundings through the narrow slits of my swollen eyelids. I’m home. Thank fuck. There’s no other place I’d want to be right now.
The sun looks like it’s setting. It must be late in the day, which means I’ve slept most of it away. No surprise there. I’m positive Ellison kept the morphine coming on a regular basis.
She’s sleeping beside me. My beautiful Mac. I’m sure it must have been a long night for her too.
She’s lying on her back with her hands stretched over her head. Her tank top has worked itself up, exposing her bare stomach, and I can’t resist reaching out to touch it.
I place my palm against her flat belly and imagine what it will look like in several months if there’s a part of me growing inside her. “You will be loved. I’ll always do what it takes to keep you safe. You and your mum.”
Ellison stirs and I move my hand to her cheek. “Mac.”
Her eyes pop open and she turns to look at me. She reaches out to touch my face and the sensation is odd. Feels fat and numb. “I’m happy to see you in the land of the living.”
“I’m very pleased to wake up and find you next to me.” There isn’t a more beautiful sight.
Her hand finds mine. “Are you in much pain?”
I was a human punching bag all night long. Being in pain is my only option at the moment but I won’t tell her. “The morphine is helping.” Not a lie. I’m sure I would be much worse without it.
“Then I’ll keep it coming.”
“Much appreciated.”
“You need to ambulate and empty your bladder.”
“Such romantic conversation from my girl.” I laugh, and then grimace because it hurts like a son of a bitch. “Mmm…” I groan.
“Certainly not romantic but necessary. I can’t have you throwing an embolism.”
“True. That would not be great.” We’ve come too far for that kind of complication.
“I need your help, baby.”
“You’ve gone through hell and back for me. I’ll do whatever you need me to do. Anything.” Ellison gets out of bed and comes around to my side. “Take it slowly. No sudden position change.”
I couldn’t move anything suddenly if I tried. “You’ll get no argument out of me.”
I use Ellison for support as I get out of bed and then halfway to the bathroom. “I think I can manage from here.”
“Maybe so but you forget that I know how much morphine you’ve had. I have zero trust in your judgment or your legs.”
I remember what this was like for Sin. “You know I’m going to piss blood.”
“I’d be shocked if you didn’t.” My girl isn’t faint-hearted, and it is definitely something I love about her.
Ellison helps me back to bed when I’m finished and props no less than six pillows behind my back. “Feel like eating something?”
My gut has taken a lot of abuse. “I don’t have much of an appetite.”
“Maybe try some soup? Broth?”
“I’ll give it a try—for you.”
She stops in the doorway and turns back to look at me. “I love you, James Conall Breckenridge.”
“I love you, Ellison Brooke MacAllister soon to be Breckenridge.”
It’s been a week since endurance. I’ve recovered quickly, thanks to my girl’s expertise nursing care, and now it’s time for her initiation into The Fellowship. She will become one of my people.
The ceremony is taking place at Thane and Isobel’s. Sin and Mitch are acting as witnesses, and a huge party with whisky will follow at Duncan’s. Nothing fancy since our wedding will happen in a few weeks. Eighteen days to be exact. But who’s counting?
Ellison has been getting ready forever. I’ve heard countless swooshes of aerosol bottles. There’s no way she hasn’t used every one in the bathroom.
I stand in the doorway looking at my watch. “We’re going to be late if we don’t leave soon.”
“I’m almost done.” I’ve heard that before.
I swear she looks no different than she did when I stood here tapping my watch twenty minutes ago. “You look beautiful.”
>
She smooths her hand over the back of her hair. “You don’t think it looks frizzy?”
“No.”
“Too poofy?”
“No. It’s perfect. You’re perfect.”
She whirls around and adjusts her dress. “Do I really look okay for an inception ceremony and partying at Duncan’s afterward?”
Her dress is off one shoulder, black, and tight. S. E. X. Y. Her hair is twisted at her nape into some kind of loose knot with flowers scattered throughout. Oh, Mac and her Pinterest fashion addiction.
“You are breathtaking.”
That brings a smile to her face. “Do you remember telling me that your wife would be breathtaking?”
I recall that day vividly. When Ellison asked me to describe the qualities of my wife, all I could think of was her. Wistfully wishing it could be her, but at that point thinking there was no way.
“I remember. And I believe you hit every quality that I told you she would possess.” Ellison is everything I ever wanted in a mate.
“I can’t wait to be your wife.”
“So close.” And that pregnancy test is even closer. I’m anxious, excited, and terrified to find out the verdict.
“I guess I’m ready to go.”
I pat my chest over the interior pocket of my jacket for the hundredth time to make sure the black velvet box is still there. “Come on, Mac. Let's go make you one of us.”
I’m adrenalized when everyone moves into place for Ellison’s inception ceremony but chills run up my spine when Thane begins to speak. “We have gathered here tonight to receive Ellison MacAllister into The Fellowship as one of our own. James Conall Breckenridge, do you accept responsibility for Ellison Brooke MacAllister?”
“I do.”
“Take the dagger.”
I lift it from the table and grasp Ellison’s hand, my eyes apologizing for the pain I’m about to cause her. I wish she didn’t know this was coming.
She winces when I drag the blade across the center of her palm. I pierce my own hand and lace our fingers together so we’re palm to palm. Blood runs the length of our forearms, collecting at our elbows.
“Will you have her as your novice and guide her in the ways of the brotherhood?”
I squeeze her hand, pressing our palms firmly together. “I will gladly have her as my novice and guide her in the ways of the brotherhood.”
“Repeat after me, Ellison.”
Thane states the adapted-to-fit-Ellison Fellowship decree and she repeats after him. “I will be loyal and never betray any of the secrets of The Fellowship. I will never violate the family of another member. I will allow my sisters to guide me in my role. My blood is Jamie’s blood, as his is now mine. From this day forward, we are one family known as The Fellowship. This I solemnly swear.”
A few words, a little blood, and it’s done. Ellison is mine and one of us.
Sin told me the ceremony would make me want to forget the party at Duncan’s. He was right. All I want to do is throw her over my shoulder, take her home, and ravish her.
She is my blood. A part of me. No man or woman can break our bond. Only the power of death.
Our people are waiting at Duncan’s to welcome Ellison into our family. It would be an insult to not show.
“Bleu told me the ceremony was hot. She wasn’t kidding.”
“I know. You have no idea how much I want to steer this vehicle in the direction of home instead of the bar.”
“We have all night after the party.”
“All night, hell? We have the rest of our lives.”
“Very true.”
Duncan’s is packed with well-wishers. I’m a little surprised to see so many of the brothers who publicly declared intent to claim Ellison—Logan included. I’m glad he came. Gave me a chance to speak to him about our argument regarding Ellison.
“Speech. Speech. Speech,” the crowd chants. Shit. I’m not really prepared for that.
“Come on. Let’s get this over with.” I take Ellison’s hand in mine and lead her onto the stage.
She doesn’t look the least bit nervous. “I would like to start by thanking you for coming out tonight to celebrate my inception into The Fellowship. I’m incredibly grateful and overwhelmed by your acceptance. I look forward to coming to know each and every one of you.”
There’s applause and cheers when Ellison finishes.
My turn now. “There was a lot of interest in claiming Ellison. I feel it’s necessary to make it clear where she and I stand so there’s no confusion. I claimed her eleven days ago. I underwent endurance in her place three days later, hence the reason I’m limping and look like I’ve been hit by a train. She is mine. We have notified the district registrar of our intent to marry, and she will become my wife in eighteen days. But I left off one very important detail. I never properly asked her to be my wife.”
This wasn’t how I planned to propose but it feels right.
I drop to my knee and she covers her mouth with her hands. “Jamie.”
I remove the black velvet box from the inner pocket of my jacket and pop it open. “Ellison Brooke MacAllister. We started out as acquaintances and then friends. I felt the change happening—the one where I was falling in love with you. It was a deep, profound, true love but I tried to fight it. Deny it. I thought I wasn’t the right man for you. I was wrong. Our love was inevitable. Totally and utterly beyond our control. It knew what we needed before I did. I love you, Ellison. I want to be your husband. I want to be the father of your children. Will you marry me?”
She nods. The smile on her face isn’t one I’ve seen before. It’s pure joy and sunshine, and I feel like one very lucky son of a bitch. “Yes. I will marry you.”
I take the ring from the box and slide it on to her finger before bringing it to my mouth for a kiss. “Into me, you see.”
“Into me, you see.”
My head throbs when I turn over to look at Ellison. Fuck. I drank way too much celebratory whisky last night.
She smiles when my eyes meet hers. “Good morning.”
I put my finger over my lips. “Shh. Don’t be so loud.”
She giggles and whispers, “Good morning.”
“Much better. Thank you.” I run my hands over my face. “Are you hungover?”
“Umm… no. I wasn’t able to drink alcohol last night.”
Shit. The pregnancy test. “Have you done it yet?”
“No. I was waiting on you to wake up."
“Well, fuck. Get in there and do it.”
She slides out of bed. “Okay. Okay.”
I rise and swing my legs around to sit on the side of the bed. This is it. The moment of truth. It could go down as a memory we’ll never forget.
I hear the toilet flush and then I wait. And then I wait some more. She doesn’t come out so I get up and go to the door despite my head screaming at me to get back in bed. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah.”
She opens the door and is holding the test in her hand. “Negative.” I think that’s sorrow in her voice.
“Mac. You okay?”
She bites her bottom lip for a second before shrugging. “I’m sadder than I thought I would be.”
Although it’s not a loss, it sort of feels like it is. “Yeah. Me too.”
“It’s weird. We made the decision to try to get pregnant, and I just expected it to happen.” She holds up the test. “I thought for sure I’d see two lines.”
“Same here.”
“You don’t think this means we’re going to have fertility problems when we decide we want to have a baby, do you?”
“Absolutely not. This was a long shot to begin with.” I pull her into my arms. “We have plenty of time for babies.” And now we have a little more time for us.
“I’m twenty-eight. I don’t want to wait too long to start trying.”
“Plenty of time, Mac.”
Chapter 18
Ellison Macallister
I look at the person starin
g back at me in the full-length mirror. “This isn’t how I imagined my wedding day.”
“What? You didn’t picture yourself living in Scotland marrying a man whose part of a notorious criminal organization? The one I infiltrated so I could kill its leader?”
I sometimes forget that Bleu came here to kill Thane. The person she hated most in this world led her to the one she came to love most.
“The only thing I got right is that I’m marrying a handsome doctor.” One I love with all my heart. That was always part of the plan.
I had it all worked out—quite literally—in a pink, alphabetized three-ring binder. Beginning with my engagement and ending with my honeymoon.
I planned on a ball gown silhouette. I’m wearing a mermaid.
I planned on satin and pearls and sequins. I’m wearing vintage lace.
I planned on my husband wearing a killer designer suit. Jamie is wearing a kilt. No complaints there, because damn, it’s hot.
I planned on Dad giving me away. Sin will be the one to give me to Jamie.
“I’m not upset or disappointed. It’s just very different from what I always dreamed about.”
There’s a soft knock at the door. “Who is it?” Bleu asks.
“Me,” Sin answers.
“You don’t have Jamie with you?”
“No.” Bleu opens the door and peeks through the crack. “He’s not with me, Bonny. Do you really think I’d risk your wrath by sneaking him up here to get a peek at your sister?”
Sin is the leader of a criminal organization who is afraid to risk his wife’s wrath. Very entertaining.
“Suppose not.”
Bleu opens the door and allows her husband to enter. “Agnes just arrived to keep the babies.”
“Oh, good. I’m always afraid she’s going to remember how bad it is keeping them and decide to not show up.”
“They’re not that bad. They’re just numerous.”
“The boys are bad, Elli. I’m their mother so I can say that about them.”
“I feel bad they won’t be at my wedding.”
“Well, don’t. I’m certain they’d turn it into a three-ring circus.”
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