by R. S. Elliot
Right on time, Aiden pulled up in his Sedan, smirking at me behind his sunglasses.
“Your carriage awaits, my lady,” he said, unlocking the passenger side door.
“Very suave,” I replied, and tucked myself away in the car as fast as I could. Then, before I knew it, we were careening down the road together, Aiden’s stereo blasting our song, a huge grin of relief spreading across my face. We had really done it. Snuck off together without anyone being the wiser. The feeling of success was totally intoxicating, like the glass of sparkling wine I had been handed by a freewheeling aunt at last year’s family Christmas dinner. I felt totally weightless, totally alive and full of light.
Is this what freedom felt like?
“Oh my God, I can’t believe we’re doing this!” I said with a laugh, wind blowing through the rolled-down windows and whipping my hair around my face.
“Are you happy?” Aiden asked with a sidelong smirk at me. He was pushing the speed limit, taking curves hard and tight to illicit delighted giggles from me.
“So happy. You have no idea.”
“I bet it feels pretty good to not have your dad breathing down your neck, huh? I don’t think we’ve ever really been able to have an entire evening to ourselves. You always got picked up early or my parents called me home or we were out in public with other people around to bother us.”
“This is so much nicer,” I agreed heartily, kicking up the stereo a bit more. Aiden’s house was in the opposite direction from mine but it wasn’t very far away from the school, but he was taking the winding backroads to make our ride last a little longer. This was one of his favorite tricks to eke out just a little more time with me, and he had used it often when we were still just awkwardly talking to each other about school and algebra. We would circle blocks and zip through old backroads, letting the radio fill the heavy silence between us or talking until our tongues were tired. The first time he kissed me, it had been on one of those needlessly long drives home.
Now he gave me one of his irresistible smiles, the ones that showed up on the sports page of our local newspaper whenever our team, the Hawks, won a game.
“Good,” Aiden said. “It’s about to get even better.”
“Oh yeah?”
‘I’ve got dinner planned for us. Like, a real cook-it-in-the-kitchen dinner. You like Italian, right?”
“I love it! Are you serious?”
“Yup. I went grocery shopping this morning and everything. I figured if I have you around I might as well show off a little bit. My mom’s been teaching me how to cook, and you know she’s a wizard in the kitchen.”
“I’d love that,” I said, reaching for the free hand that rested on his knee. We interlaced our fingers together and I leaned back and closed my eyes, enjoying the rumble of the car beneath me and the cool breezes across my face. I never wanted to forget what this sort of perfect happiness felt like, so I diligently committed every detail of it to memory.
Aiden and his parents lived in a simple A-frame house painted bright blue. It was situated at the end of a tucked away cul de sac lined with trees that cast long trails of shade, and to my knowledge, Aiden had lived in that cul de sac all his life. We were both only children, although Aiden’s parents still lived together whereas mine had gotten divorced when I was five. He had grown up with a creek trickling through his backyard and a tire swing hung from the big oak out front. It seemed like an ideal sort of childhood, and he always talked about it with fondness.
“Here we are,” he said, putting the car into park. “Home sweet home.”
“And your parents aren’t around?”
“Nope, they cleared off this morning. They’ll be back Sunday night. We’ve got free run of the place.”
I had been inside of Aiden’s house plenty of times before. His parents seemed to genuinely like me and were always inviting me in for cookies and a chat, or over for dinner some nights to catch up with the both of us. But this felt entirely different. When I walked in the door, I wasn’t greeted by his father sitting in his usual chair with the newspaper, or by his mother, calling out my name from the kitchen while she whipped something for us. The house was perfectly, blessedly quiet, and I was very aware that we were the only ones in it. We could have been entering into our first apartment together for the first time and it would have felt the same.
“Want me to get dinner started?” Aiden asked, tossing down his backpack on the couch and moving past me into the kitchen.
“Yeah, that would be great.”
Aiden hadn’t been lying. His mother had taught him some pretty neat tricks. I watched on in delight as he simmered garlic and basil for homemade marinara sauce, and helped him measure out oil and spices for the stuffed ravioli. Soon the kitchen was full of the heady scent of oregano and thyme, and in no time at all Aiden was plating up big steaming servings of pasta and sauce. When I took my first bite, I thought I had been transported to heaven.
“This is amazing!”
“It’s not as good as my mom’s,” Aiden said, sinking down into the big comfy couch in the family den. This was usually where we sat with his parents, or studied together while his mother chaperoned from the kitchen. “But it’s pretty tasty!”
I got us both tall glasses of ice water and soon we were enjoying our dinner together, nestled close on the couch. Everything about it felt so effortless and natural, and even though I knew I was getting ahead of myself, I couldn’t help but think that this is what our evenings together could be like in the future, if we got married and got a place together. We would be able to meet each other after work and cook, then eat together in the privacy of our own home like real adults and talk about how our days had gone. There would be no one to tell us what to do and what not to do, just us, and our love for each other. I couldn’t help but smile at the thought.
“What’s going on in that pretty head?” Aiden asked. He swiped a bit of marinara sauce off my cheek with his thumb and then sucked his thumb off in his mouth. The gesture was probably thoughtless for him, but there was something indescribably sexy about it that sent a wave of heat through my body.
“Nothing,” I said shyly. “I’m just happy.”
“Just how I like you.”
He leaned over to kiss my nose, making me giggle. We ate the rest of our dinner in happy conversation, talking about movies, our classmates, our teachers, anything but schoolwork. I never wanted to step out of this moment, to stop sitting on this couch with the guy I was in love with, eating a delicious dinner and discussing our lives. But I have always been responsible, even on days when I was supposed to be cutting loose a little bit.
“Well,” I said, pushing my empty bowl of pasta away from me on the coffee table. “Do you think we ought to get to studying?”
Aiden made a face.
“Ugh, right. Studying.”
“The sooner we get it done the sooner we can do something else,” I offered.
Aiden nodded as he stood and began to clear away our plates.
“You’re right. Let me rinse these off and I’ll grab the books. I’ll warn you, I’ve only gotten worse since we studied together in algebra class.”
“I’ll be the judge of that.”
As much as I wanted to be optimistic about the whole matter, Aiden was right. He had gotten worse, or at least not gotten any better. School wasn’t his strong suit but math was his worst subject by far and we both knew it. I suspected he might have a touch of dyslexia that made keeping numbers straight hard, or he was just terrible at the foundations of high school level math, and that made everything that came after harder. It wasn’t that Aiden was stupid. He was sharp as a whip when it came to playing football, cooking, building things in shop class, fixing cards, or taking care of kids. Anything he could do with his hands, and learn by doing until he got it right, he was great at. But asking him to learn something from reading instructions out of a book was virtually guaranteed to bring about failure.
Still, I tried. I pulled out the scrap
paper and drew him diagrams, tilting them this way and that so he could see them from different angles. We tried to talk through his assignments, with my scribbling down notes for him to reference later. I even tried to teach him new ways of solving the equations, running through every tip and trick I had learned during my time in the class. Nothing seemed to help, even though Aiden tried his best. I kept up a positive exterior, but inside, I was nervous. Aiden had to pass this class or he would be held back, and that would derail his graduation schedule.
“I don’t think we’re getting anywhere,” he said with a sigh. He tossed down his pencil and pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes. A glance at the clock told me that we had been at this almost an hour, and we had only managed to successfully navigate three of the questions on his assignment.
“You’re doing alright,” I urged in a soothing voice. “It’s all about exponential growth. Eventually some part of this will click, and then another and another.”
“If you say so.” Aiden rotated one of his shoulders and winced.
“Still hurting from practice?”
“Nothing serious. I should probably ice it, or take a hot shower.”
“Why don’t you shower?” I offered. “It might be good to take a step back from all this and unwind.”
“You’re sure you’re alright out here by yourself.”
“Yes,” I said with a laugh, urging him on towards the hallway towards the rest of the house. “I’ll find some way to entertain myself.”
Aiden leaned down to give me one more kiss, then disappeared down the hallway to soak his arching shoulders. Dating an athlete, you got used to the cramps and pains. I was amazed that he was in one piece at all after the abuse he took on the field.
I scrubbed the dishes left in the sink while Aiden showered, taking care to line them up neatly to dry. It was the least I could do after the amazing meal he had made for us. Once again, my mind wandered to the future. Is this what it would be like for us? Evenings at home doing little domestic things like chores and treating sports injuries. Things like that had never seemed exciting to me before, certainly not when my parents were forced to live together and function as a unit while fighting each other at every turn. But this was easy. Fun, even.
“Mia?” Aiden called from down the hall. He must have cracked the door to the bathroom, because i could hear the shower running in the distance. “Could you come here a sec?”
“Sure!” I replied.
I walked down the hallway towards the bathroom following the sound of the shower and the plume of steam in the hall. The door had been left cracked, and I gently pushed it open a few more inches. Aiden was standing in front of the mirror with a towel wrapped around his waist, his chest gleaming from the shower while water dripped from his hair. He was rotating his shoulder, looking at it in the mirror, and barely glanced over his shoulder at me.
“Would you get me the arnica salve? It’s in my bedroom, I think.”
“Sure,” I said, my voice coming out strangely hoarse. My face was hot.
I ducked back into the hallway and pushed my way into his room, snatching up the tube of arnica cream from on top of his dresser. The room smelled like him, like worn linens and his favorite wool sweaters and the cheap mall cologne he spritzed on when we went out for dinner dates. Somehow, this only made the heat in my face grow worse, and I realized my mouth had gone dry.
Aiden turned to take the medicine from me, stepping close as he did so, and I found myself enveloped in the humid warmth of the little room and in the sight of him, barely dressed. I had seen him strip off his shirt on the field before but this was a whole lot more skin, a whole lot more intimate. I wondered if he cared that I was seeing him like this, or if part of him had called me out here so I could.
My skin was on fire, screaming out for his touch. My lips burned when his hot breath passed over them, and I shuddered as he slid his strong hands around my waist. I felt powerless and powerful at the same time, pulled tight as a violin string by the push and pull of our desires. I thought for sure if something didn’t resolve soon I would snap from the tension. Aiden took the bottle from my hands. Then he discarded it on the bathroom counter, took my face in his hands, and pulled me into an all-consuming kiss.
I had felt desire when I was around Aiden before, and I was familiar with the wave of throbbing heat that overtook me when he kissed me between classes or wrapped me up in his arms after games when he was hot and triumphant and wearing a grin so wide it could have stunned me at twenty paces. I had trembled under his touch when I let him fondle my breasts in the back of his car for a few minutes before I had scrambled out of the car, overheated and overwhelmed by the feelings building inside me. Aiden had been patient with how skittish I got about intimacy, and we had never had sex before, never been this close with so few clothes between us.
This realization made me a little dizzy, but I didn’t pull away. My usual fear had melted away into something stronger, a burning want that gave me a sense of sureness I hadn’t known before. I had of course thought about giving it up to Aiden. I had deliberated about it and daydreamed about it and fantasized about it some nights, with my fingers between my legs under the sheets and my free hand clamped over my mouth to keep from squealing. I knew I wanted it to be him, that I wanted to feel his muscled body moving on top of mine while he looked into my eyes and told me that he loved me. No matter what happened after tonight, I knew what I wanted.
I deepened the kiss, spreading my eager fingers across Aiden’s broad chest. His skin was warm and still wet from the shower, and the chill drops of water dripping from his hair onto my collarbone made me shiver with delight. His hand came up under my chin, gently tipping my face up so he could more easily slip his tongue into my mouth, and the next thing I knew I was being walked backwards into his bedroom.
I climbed onto his bed eagerly, pulling him behind me until we were both kneeling on the comforter, arms locked around each other, kissing intently.
“Mia,” Aiden said, his words a hot smear against my mouth as I kissed him insistently, not even wanting him to stop to say a word. “Baby, I-”
“Yes?”
“I don’t want to do this unless you’re sure.”
I nuzzled my nose against him, chasing his mouth for another few needy kisses before taking a moment to catch my breath. I looked into his eyes, a brown so deep I could fall into them and never find myself again. They were full of love and lust, desire and concern. I had never wanted him more than I did in that moment.
“I’m sure. I want this.”
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