“They’re home!” Archie almost shouted.
“Kitten, everyone can see that.” Jasper snorted and bit her neck this time.
Braun and Bodie might have come home, Alicia thought, but something didn’t feel right. Her brow creased as she watched her sister turn to her fiancé, and emotion hitched in Lisha’s chest as Braun touched his brow to her sister’s. He gave her a long, slow kiss, then said something Alicia couldn’t decipher.
The truck door opened and Bodie eased out of the truck, turning to shut it. When she moved away from the truck, facing her anxious friends, all Alicia heard was Connie’s low moan of distress.
Bodie didn’t look pregnant anymore.
Not that Alicia knew how big her sister had gotten—she hadn’t seen her for too long. But she realized that someone in her last trimester of pregnancy should be a lot bigger in the belly, especially after everyone had said how round she was.
The same everyone that was sitting in shocked silence, awash with grief.
Offering a tired smile, Bodie walked slowly, stiffly, toward the group as Braun exited the truck and retrieved what Alicia assumed were Bodie’s hospital bags from the rear seat.
“My God, Bodie,” Connie breathed, tears clogging her voice. “Why didn’t you—”
Daddy’s hand took Alicia’s, squeezing tightly as she rocked in her wheelchair. In all honesty, she hadn’t realized how excited she’d been about the possibility of having a niece or nephew until the dream came crashing down.
Archie and Connie were up on their feet in an instant, rushing to support Bodie over to a bench, while everyone else was just struck dumb.
Braun rounded the front of the truck…with a baby carrier in one hand, a bag in the other.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Jasper lurched to his feet. “What the fuck is that?”
Lines of stress and exhaustion strained Braun’s handsome face, but his eyes were alive with joy. “Don’t swear in front of my son, Jasper. I don’t want his first word to be fuck.”
Alicia swore the earth erupted beneath her. There was a flurry of stampeding feet as the horde of friends charged toward the Dom and his charge, and both Connie and Archie burst into tears, hugging Bodie tightly. So much noise, so much chatter.
“Would you like to go see?” Daddy murmured in her ear, the only one who’d stayed with her. “You can meet your nephew.”
She shook her head, tears in her eyes. On the fringes of the group like this, she could appreciate them all as the family they were. There was a great deal of history here, linking them all as a unit, and she could almost see the love bonding each one of them into the whole. “This is for family. They’ve all suffered with Braun and Bodie through this, so give them the moment. You should go.” She gave him what she hoped was a bright smile. “Loki abandoned the burgers. Should I rescue them?”
Daddy cupped her cheek, turning her face so she looked at him rather than at the rough puzzle of gravel on the ground. “They’ll wait. This is your family, princess. Bodie is your blood, and that little miracle they just brought home is part of you. You have every right to be part of this celebration.”
Alicia shook her head again. “I’m good. But you should go say hi.”
He didn’t. Instead, he yanked her chair around and plucked her from the seat, settling her on his lap in the way she loved. His arms came around her, hugging her tightly as he kissed her.
“I guess we owe you guys an explanation,” Bodie said apologetically when things calmed down and everyone returned to their seats. “But first, there’s someone I really want to introduce to the baby.” She looked up at her fiancé. “Would you mind, Braun? I might drop him.”
“Anything for you, little one.” The rather imposing Dom gently set the carrier down on the bench, then unfastened the safety straps before carefully lifting a tiny bundle dressed in pale blue. Cradling it in the crook of his arm, he took measured steps toward Atticus, then crouched in front of them. “We would like you to meet Declan Michael Fitzpatrick.”
The baby was so small. Incredibly fragile. Big blue eyes that might stay that way, given both his parents’ eye color, and a big, fluffy tuft of dark hair on his head. He gazed up at Alicia with guilelessness, apparently studying her with as much interest as she was him.
“Here, take him,” Braun said, moving to set the infant in her arms, but she shook her head vehemently and folded them over her chest. “It’s okay, sweetheart, you won’t break him. The first time Bodie and I held him, it was like he was made of glass.”
She leaned against Daddy, not willing to take the chance she would hurt the precious little thing Bodie had almost lost. Her voice was gone, strangled by emotion.
“He’s beautiful, Braun. The spitting image of Boadicea.” Daddy’s voice wasn’t lost, but it was gruff. Against her wishes, he pried open her arms so Braun could settle the baby in them, then used his own as support to keep the fragile being safe. “There. Nothing to be scared of, princess.”
This could be them one day, she thought. They could be holding their own tiny bundle of pink or blue. She wanted to glance at Daddy’s face and see his reaction, but she couldn’t tear her eyes away from the innocence of a child not yet corrupted by anything the world doled out.
He had no concept of suffering or cruelty, hunger or pain.
Tiny lips parted in a yawn, then those blue eyes fluttered closed. Alicia rested her hand on his chest, just to make sure he was still breathing.
Braun chuckled. “We’ve done that once or twice,” he admitted, reaching out to stroke one pudgy cheek with his fingertip. “He likes you, aunty Alicia.”
A tremulous smile curved her lips. “Really?”
“Absolutely. This little tyke took exception to being held by anyone but me or Bodie. One of the nurses in particular was on his no-no list, he screamed blue murder if she even went near his cot.” Braun grinned. “My son is a picky one, that’s for sure.”
Alicia offered the baby back. If she held him for one minute more, she would never give him back. Her womb ached, not like when she was desperate for Daddy to pounce on and ravage her, but in a different, deeper way. “Thank you. I…he’s lovely.”
“You can hold him for a while if you want. We’re going to sit and stay with you guys for an hour, say goodbye before Atticus takes you away for a few months.” Instead of taking the baby, Braun rested his hand on her thigh and looked at her earnestly. “We never intended for any of this to happen, sweetheart. I promise you. You can tell me to go screw myself for everything I’ve neglected to do, and I’ll accept it. I let you down, and I know it’s going to take time for you to get over the pain of being abandoned. All I ask—and I realize I have no right to ask anything of you right now—is that you don’t blame Bodie for my mistakes. She has been so excited to get to know you again.”
“I don’t blame you,” she whispered. “I was nobody to you, and there’ve been more important things to worry about—Bodie, this tiny person, all the components of your life that didn’t include me until I gatecrashed your life. You gave me Connie, and my Daddy. I don’t blame you, Braun, so don’t blame yourself.”
“Unfortunately, I know the responsibility rests with me, but thank you for your kindness, Alicia. Your compassion means a lot to me.” Braun cradled his son in his hands, drawing him against his chest as he rose. He bent and kissed Lisha’s forehead, little more than a brush of his lips on her skin. “We want you to be a big part of our family, in Declan’s life. We’ll be here when you come back from D.C.”
She sniffled, nestling herself into Daddy. It felt as though her world had just taken a huge, positive step into the future, and it was slightly daunting.
“Okay, now that the sweet stuff is over, I think we’re ready for an explanation.” Connie cleared her throat meaningfully, then crooked a finger at Braun. “Explanations go down so much smoother with baby cuddles.”
As Braun transferred Declan into Connie’s waiting arms, Bodie took a sip from one of the bottles
of orange juice on the bench. “It’s not really a long story, per se. When Braun drove me to hospital last week, I was suffering from severe cramps. After the doctor examined me, he said that I was already in labor. They had to decide whether or not to try and stop the process to give our little man a better chance of survival, but they came to the conclusion that my body and his had reached the point where additional strain was detrimental to us both. I delivered him naturally at ten-fifty-two a.m. on August twenty-fourth.”
A volley of displeased shouts echoed in the parking lot, only to be shushed by Braun.
“I know, I know. We should have told you. Braun and I discussed it at length, and we decided that we didn’t want any of you to worry about what would happen in the days following Declan’s birth. There has always been a possibility that we could lose him before, during, or after he was born.” Bodie tried a smile, but it wavered at the edges. “Obviously, he was premature. He’s on the small side, which they expected, but his weight was better than they thought. They were concerned about the development of his lungs, which apparently they didn’t need to be—he can shatter glass when he’s hungry.”
Braun left the baby with Connie and returned to Bodie, draping his arm comfortingly over her shoulders. “The drugs that were given to Bodie over the past few months fortified him. He’s spent the last week in the NICU being tended to by the staff while Bodie recovered from giving birth.”
“We chose not to tell you about any of it until we knew for certain what was going to happen. If there had been any decline in his progress, we’d have told you to come so you could meet him before…well, that didn’t happen. He has gone from strength to strength in seven days, despite being a preemie. When they said they were discharging us today, we thought we’d surprise you rather than dragging everyone into the city.”
“If he’s a preemie, shouldn’t he still be in the NICU?” Liam asked worriedly.
“The doctors are happy with him. He’s eating, pooping, breathing, and occasionally screaming just fine.” Braun rubbed his hand up and down Bodie’s arm. “Sleeps for a couple hours at a time. We’ll have to take him in for check-ups on a regular basis for a while, but all signs are good that he’s on the forward track.”
Loki flipped a burger with flair. “And you’re sure you want to stick with the Irish name? You wouldn’t want to, say, call him Thor? That’s a very godly name, you know.”
Braun rolled his eyes as he laughed. “I am not calling my son Thor so that you can introduce yourself to women in the clubs twenty years down the line as Thor and Loki.”
“Actually, I was thinking Loki and Thor, but whatever.” He flipped another burger, then rolled a couple of hot dogs over.
“Not happening, Loki. When you push a five-pound football from your vagina, feel free to name it what you like.” Bodie winked at him as he pretended to be offended. “Don’t tell me you don’t have one, either.”
“Sweetie, I don’t. But I am in possession of a rather handsome mangina.”
Alicia snorted. The Dom was so funny, it should be illegal. She peeked at Daddy, saw he was trying to hide a smile. “Are manginas the new fashion trend?”
“They’re a Loki trend,” he replied, “which means we’ll now have a never-ending run of mangina jokes until he grows bored of them.”
“Oh, goodie!”
“Number one fan right here. You’re adorable.”
“Wait, wait. So you’re telling us that you went into labor, gave birth to this delightful angel, and waited an entire week to tell us anything?” Connie rocked her tiny armful as she fired off the list of their offences. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t be really pissed.”
“Does tearing my vagina—my actual vagina, Loki, not your invisible mangina—count as a reasonable excuse? Because I’m sporting some really neat stitches in a very private place.” Bodie batted her eyelashes at her friend, adding a sad smile for extra punch. “Maybe it was the wrong thing to do, taking that choice away from you all, but we didn’t want anyone to get attached to him if he wasn’t going to survive. I’ve spent months wondering if my body was going to kill him, if my single attempt at being a mother would fail before it even began. I thought…I thought I was hallucinating when he gave that first furious cry.”
“We assumed the worst,” Braun said soberly.
Alicia sensed Connie’s irritation fade. Looking at the situation as an outsider, she could see why the Dom was annoyed, just as she thought her sister’s reasoning was fair. It was hard to take either person’s side, so she stayed in the middle where her opinion didn’t matter.
Connie sighed. “Well, he’s not. He’s alive and kicking and so handsome I just want to eat him up from these perfect toes, all the way up to his gorgeous little ears.” She devolved into babbling baby talk. “I could. I could eat you all up, you’re so pretty.”
“Oh man,” Loki quipped as he started dishing up the food. “Mistress down. I repeat, Mistress down.”
The tension relaxed, giving Lisha room to breathe. As the food was passed around, everyone settled into a routine of holding Declan for a few minutes as conversation sprung up and burgers were devoured.
Alicia ate her burger still sitting on Daddy’s lap, nibbling on the juicy beef and soft bread. Of course, by the time she was halfway through hers, everyone else was ready for their second, and there was mention of brownies and jello for dessert.
She loved brownies and jello.
When Daddy set her back in her chair to help Archie and Jasper carry the paper plates and trash back to the kitchen, as well as deliver the yummy treats, she was both pleased and anxious. Meeting Liam’s eyes, then Thane’s, she was relieved to see them both nod.
Liam walked over and pushed her chair over the clumsy gravel to the other bench, but she wasn’t quite brave enough to talk to Bodie without Daddy’s emotional support. She knew leaving Mr. Bear was the wrong thing to do, but Daddy had promised she wouldn’t need him.
Instead, she pretended to admire the club’s exterior while she waited for Daddy to come back, then found herself chatting to Thane.
“Are you sure you want to do this, sweetie?” he asked in an undertone.
“I am. We leave tomorrow. I need to—”
“Which sadistic individual made penis jello?” Jasper demanded as he came back with a wobbling plate of pink dessert. When Connie snorted and raised her hand, he arched his eyebrow in what seemed to be approval. “I like your style, you dirty girl. Thane, did you know your woman turns sweet treats into phallus-shaped wonders?”
“Just be thankful it’s not locked in a cock cage, brother. She’s mean when she wants to be.”
Laughing, Jasper set the dish on the bench, then slipped into his seat. “Anarchy’s bringing more beer, and Atticus is in charge of the brownies. By the way his eyes dilated when he smelled it, there may not be a lot left when he gets to the table.”
But she craved the brownies. Rich, oozing, gooey chocolate was her favorite—Daddy had given her some a couple of weeks ago, and she’d nearly died from the mouthfuls of pleasure in her mouth.
Her patience was fraying at the edges by the time he strolled down the path with a big tray in his capable hands. If he dropped it now, she would have the biggest tantrum.
Just her luck, he didn’t, but he did grin at her as he sat down with the brownies in front of him. Unfortunately, he was privy to her lustful desires, and chocolate heaven was second on her growing list of loves, right behind him.
It was now or never.
Blowing out a breath, she gripped the arms of her wheelchair and shoved herself out of it. Immediately, as she’d arranged with Liam and Thane, they flanked her. Not touching her, but close enough to grab her if all her hard work failed and she faceplanted the gravel.
She’d worn sneakers for this reason, hoping the soles would be sufficient to balance her. A flat surface would have been better, but she didn’t care. Asphalt or gravel, she would damn well do this if it killed her.
&nb
sp; There was only eight feet between them.
Eight long, frightening feet.
With two Masters at her side, Alicia took the first shaky step. Only six inches, but a vast improvement on the measly shuffles of a few weeks ago. She’d been practicing so hard when Daddy was at work, trying to improve her fitness and stamina so she wouldn’t be humiliated when she had her first session of therapy. Too many falls to count, countless bruises she’d explained away as part of a tumble from her chair, and she was finally making progress.
“What the hell?” Bodie exclaimed.
Daddy was already on his feet, his expression alarmed. He stepped away from the bench, poised to rush to her if needed, but she hoped he wouldn’t have to. This was her current goal, and she would achieve it through sheer force of will if that’s what it required.
Six inches. Six inches, six inches.
Her legs felt weird but steady, even though her knees wobbled. Her balance was still crap, but she found that holding her arms out to the sides helped. Breathing rough and choppy, she tried to slow it down and concentrate on just stepping forward.
“That’s it, princess. One step at a time. Walk for me, Alicia. Do it for me, and do it for yourself. Such a good girl.” Daddy’s praise and encouragement was nothing compared to the pride in his voice. It was like a rope tied around her waist, giving her something tangible to pull herself along with, right into his arms.
The toe of her sneaker landed wrong on a larger chunk of stone, tripping her up. She flailed, only for her guides to snag her arms and stand her upright. They held her there for a few seconds as her heart slipped back into her chest, then eased away again.
“Two feet, Lisha,” Thane murmured.
“You can do it, beautiful. Show him what you’re made of,” Liam coaxed.
She was almost close enough to touch her Daddy. His arms were stretched toward her, a welcoming safety net, and the delight in his eyes lured her in. Feeling courageous, she threw herself forward the last foot, extending her leg further than she’d ever tried. Her knee and ankle crumpled, but she fell into his arms and was instantly swept off her feet and swung around in circles as he kissed her thoroughly.
Walk For Me: Club Avalon Book 4 Page 49