This Isn't Goodbye

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This Isn't Goodbye Page 2

by K. R. Reese


  I don’t react. If I do, he’ll notice in an instant. Instead, I joke with him. “I’m surprised you didn’t tag along. That’s what you do when we leave to go anywhere.”

  Mason laughs half-heartedly and his cheeks flame. The kid is embarrassed easily. But he straightens up again and stares at me.

  “I go with you two everywhere because I’m not blind. I’m a buffer.”

  I freeze, my mouth opening and closing, but no sound comes out. Then I double over and laugh. “Is that your way of saying that you’re cock-blocking me, Mace?”

  “That’s exactly what I’m saying. You think I don’t see the way you stare at my sister? Everyone can see it. We’re just waiting for you two to figure it out and open your eyes.”

  I’m stunned, completely silent. I thought I was hiding it so well. Maybe to Cheyenne, I am, but apparently not with everyone else. It’s Mason’s turn to laugh.

  “You don’t hide your feelings well, Cole, and I don’t know what your intentions are toward her. You do have a reputation that even we’ve heard about.”

  “And you think Dylan doesn’t have those same thoughts? He’s a guy.” I snicker at the look on Mason’s face. Then I wrap my arms around his neck and scrape my fist across the top of his head. It’s something I’ve done since he was younger; since he thought he could tackle me and take me to the ground. Now, he probably could because of his size.

  “Stop. Stop. Stop. I’m not five anymore, Cole.” Mason shoves me off and I almost trip backward. Once he stands, he glares at me. “Dylan hasn’t proved to be anything but a gentleman so far. When that changes, she won’t get rid of me.”

  I nod and back toward the stairs. “Tell Cheyenne to call me when she gets home.”

  Mason smirks and nods. “Sure thing.”

  I stalk back across the yard and go up to my room. I should have cancelled my plans with Kenzie and hung out with Cheyenne. That sounds shitty, I know, but it’s how I feel. Even if Dylan had come along, at least she wouldn’t be alone with him.

  I throw myself down on my bed, turn my music on from my dock, and stare at the ceiling. After my comment at the lake, Kenzie and I are over. I’m not upset about it in the least. But I’m afraid that my feelings toward Cheyenne could ruin everything; our friendship is the most important thing I have right now, and I won’t tarnish that with emotions I don’t understand. Maybe Dylan will be good for her. Maybe they’ll be friends like we are. He might not have grown up with Cheyenne, but at least I would know someone else would be around when she needed it.

  Mason texts me at ten and says it’s time to come home. It’s weird and I don’t understand it. Our parents have never given us a curfew; we have always known when we needed to be home, and if they thought it was too late, they would call us. But I let Mason know I’ll be home in a bit anyway and lie back on the hood of my car.

  Dylan’s lying beside me, staring up at the night sky. Today involved a lot of touring our little town, going to the batting cages, and lunch and ice cream. We’re ending our day in the park, stargazing.

  “I had a good time today, Cheyenne. Thanks for showing me around.” He rolls onto his side and I do the same.

  “It’s no problem. I’ve lived here all my life. And I couldn’t imagine moving somewhere new where I know absolutely no one. I’m sorry Cole couldn’t make it today. He had plans with his girlfriend.”

  I cringe at the mention of Kenzie and he catches it. A small smile graces his lips. “I take it you two don’t get along. Is there something wrong with her?”

  I roll my eyes and laugh. “There’s nothing wrong with her, really, but she’s one of those girls who wants Cole all to herself. He isn’t allowed to have a life outside of their relationship. She especially doesn’t like that his best friend is a girl. Football is the only exception to her rules because he’s captain and all, and Kenzie loves the attention and popularity.”

  Dylan laughs, a sound that sends tingles down my spine. “Ah, she’s one of those girls. Cole doesn’t seem like the type of guy to put up with that for long.”

  I wince a little. “Well, this is his first serious girlfriend. He’s my best friend, and I love him, but he can be whore. I just wish he could see that he deserves so much better.”

  Dylan snakes his hand through mine and squeezes. “He’ll realize what he’s missing out on at some point.” I freeze, thinking maybe he read more into my words than I intended until he continues. “It may not be soon, but he will. Besides, I enjoyed just spending time with you today. I have a feeling he’ll be going with us tomorrow, and I won’t have any time alone with you.” He smiles and a dimple pops in his cheek.

  I know my cheeks are flushed, the heat burning its way up my neck, but I don’t look away. I did have a good day with Dylan. Even if I don’t know a lot about him, he’s definitely someone I can see myself hanging out with often. And since Cole is always with Kenzie, it’ll be nice to have someone else around, too. At least for the next few weeks until school starts and the rest of the female population of our senior class discovers him anyway.

  “We should probably head back. It’s getting late.”

  Dylan pulls back slightly and nods. We get back inside the car, and we’re quiet on the drive home. When I pull into the driveway and shut the car off, I notice Cole’s bedroom light is still on.

  “I’ll text you tomorrow to make plans for the track. I need to unpack some of my room first.” He squeezes my hand before he exits through the passenger door. He leans his head back in and smiles. “Goodnight, Cheyenne.”

  “Night,” I whisper, but he’s already across the street.

  I sit there a little longer, waiting for my heart rate to slow down. A knock on my window scares me and I jump. Cole is standing in the driveway.

  I get out of my car and lean against it. “What the hell, Cole? You scared me.” There’s no smile on his face. His whole body is tense and strained. “What’s wrong?” My brow furrows as I stand straight and take a step toward him.

  “You’ve been gone all day with someone you don’t know, and you didn’t take Mason with you.”

  I stare at him, my vision blurring. His tone of voice is dark, menacing, and he’s never talked to me like this.

  “You met Dylan. He’s harmless. We stayed in the public eye and nothing happened.” He doesn’t need to know about the park. “I don’t know what the big deal is anyway. And, you could have been with us, but you bailed for Kenzie.”

  I cover my mouth as soon as the words leave my lips. I don’t want to fight with Cole, but I don’t like his accusing glare or his harsh words. I won’t cower to him like everyone else does.

  “Don’t make this about me and Kenzie. This has nothing to do with that and is a conversation for later. I thought you had better sense than to gallivant around town with a stranger. What if something would have happened? I wasn’t here, Chey. I couldn’t have come to get you.”

  I cross my arms over my chest this time and glare at him. “And what may I ask, would have happened at the batting cages, diner, and ice cream shop, Cole? Everyone could see us, we were never alone, and he’s really nice. It seems your day didn’t turn out as well as mine, but you don’t need to take it out on me. I’ve sat at home a lot this summer because you’re the only person I hang out with aside from Mason. I don’t want to sit at home anymore. I’m tired of sitting at home.”

  I storm toward my house and almost make it inside before he speaks again. “Thought you were just showing him around town? Sounds more like you had a date.”

  I turn back around and stomp toward him. “What’s wrong, Cole? Don’t like sharing your best friend with someone else? It sucks, doesn’t it, knowing that I’m out having fun when clearly you did not. Are you jealous?” I laugh because it sounds ridiculous, even to me. “You know what, you’re no longer invited tomorrow if you can’t be nice. I like Dylan, and I’m not going to let you run him off.”

  Cole stares at me, eyes wide. I don’t let him say anything else before I’
m inside and storming up to my own room. Mason comes out of his bedroom, but he must see the look on my face because he doesn’t say a word.

  I change out of my clothes and lie down. This will be another night with no calls or texts from Cole. Even though we just argued less than five minutes ago, I don’t like it. It’s been our nightly routine since our parents got us phones six years ago. I don’t think about it too much and close my eyes. Tomorrow will be a new day and hopefully it’ll end better. Arguing with my best friend isn’t what I wanted to do, and I did want to hang out with him, too. Maybe he can behave himself tomorrow and come to the track with us. Next to football, the dirt bikes are Cole’s next favorite thing. He loves them as much as I do.

  I can only hope that my new friendship with the guy across the street doesn’t drive a wedge between us.

  Cole: I’m sorry.

  This is the fifth time I’ve read Cole’s very short message since I climbed out of bed. His words last night hurt. We’ve had arguments in the past, most more recent and about Kenzie, but he has never talked to me like he did last night. The tone of his voice sent shivers down my spine and scared me. If I’m thinking logically, I know we just met Dylan and I might have been a little too trustworthy. But I hadn’t lied to Cole, not really. We had stayed in the public; it’s not my fault the park just happened to be empty while we were there.

  The text had come in late, around two in the morning, and by the time I made my way downstairs for breakfast, I still hadn't replied. Mason is sitting at the table, staring at his own phone, but he looks up when I enter the kitchen.

  “How was your night, Chey?”

  I eye him warily. He’s got a smile on his face like the cat that ate the canary.

  “It was fine. Why the cryptic message though?”

  Mason shrugs and goes back to his phone. I snatched it from his hand and put it in my back pocket.

  “You can have it back once you tell me what your message was about last night.”

  He sighs and rubs his hands through his hair. Sometime during the last year, my baby brother has grown and now he rivals half the football team.

  “Cole was pacing the damn yard like a caged lion, Chey. I was afraid for Dylan’s health if you didn’t come home soon.”

  I sit beside him and steal half his bagel. “So, you killed my day because Cole was being an asshole?”

  “Chey, you didn’t see him when he came over here and asked for you. It was way earlier in the day, and I answered the door. I thought he was going to strangle me, and I had nothing to do with it.”

  I raise a brow at him, and he throws up his hands.

  “Oh, I give up, I’m not getting involved. You two can sort your own shit out.”

  He huffs down the hall and I yell after him. “What shit do we need to sort out? He’s being an asshole for no reason.”

  “No reason at all, Chey, no reason at all.”

  Then the back door slams shut. Mom comes down the stairs and skids into the kitchen with a frown on her face. “Young lady, if I hear that language in this house one more time, I’m going to personally shove my foot up your ass and ground you to your bedroom until you turn eighteen.”

  “Sorry, Mom.” I mumble before I make an escape back to my room.

  I stare at Cole’s message again when another dings.

  Dylan: Hey, sleepyhead. I haven’t heard from you this morning. What time are we heading out?

  I pause over my screen. I want Cole to come today, but not if he’s going to act like he did last night. I flip back to his message before I answer Dylan.

  Chey: Apology accepted. I won’t cancel your invite today if you can be nice.

  His reply is instant, like he was waiting.

  Cole: I’ll be nice. But he’ll keep his hands to himself if he knows what’s good for him.

  I smile and reply just to piss him off.

  Chey: I don’t think that’s your decision to make. Be ready in 30.

  He doesn’t answer and I reply to Dylan before I head to the shower and change.

  Chey: Be ready in 30. We’ll meet you out front.

  The bubbles appear like he’s typing, but then they stop and don’t start again. I throw my phone on my bed and get ready.

  The bikes are loaded in the back of my truck, and Cheyenne’s squeezed between Dylan and I on the bench seat. They’ve kept up a friendly conversation since we started toward the track, and I haven’t felt the need to interrupt. When I watch him place his hand on her thigh, I clench the steering wheel until my knuckles turn white.

  I can feel her watching me from the corner of her eye, but I don’t make any sudden movements. She was right earlier; it isn’t my decision to make. But I don’t think she’s making the right decision either. We barely know Dylan. And no offense to him, but I don’t trust as easily as Cheyenne does.

  A few minutes later, we’re pulling into the track among the other trucks scattered around. When we’re unloading, Dylan starts to look nervous and I have my suspicion that he’s not familiar with this.

  “Hey, man, will you help me with this?” I gesture toward Cheyenne’s bike. His eyes widen and he rubs the back of his neck as Cheyenne comes around the back of the truck.

  “I, um,” he stutters.

  “What’s going on?” Cheyenne shoots a glare my way and stands beside Dylan. “What’s wrong?”

  Dylan looks at her, then back at me. “I wanted to hang out with you two today. But I need to be honest, I’ve never done this. Cole asked for my help, and I have no idea what to do with that.” He points at her bike.

  Cheyenne starts laughing and I smile. Thought so. But my smile fades quickly when she pats him on the back.

  “Don’t worry. I’ll show you what to do. And you can ride with me for a bit until you’re comfortable.”

  I bite my tongue and don’t say anything. When he goes to find the restroom, I pull her to the side of the truck out of his view and pin her against it.

  I stare down at her, the fire blazing in her eyes again just like last night when I pissed her off. “What are you doing? He can ride with you. Seriously? Chey, that’s going to throw you off with the weight difference. Don’t be stupid. Someone will get hurt.”

  Cheyenne has always been a wild card. She’ll push herself until she masters whatever it is she’s trying to do. It’s no different on her bike. But adding an extra hundred-plus pounds isn’t my idea of a challenge. Especially since her bike is set up to accommodate her size only.

  But she rolls her eyes and shoves me away. I take a step back to give her space. Space, I now realize, I needed to. “I’ll be fine, Cole. I can do it. If not, you can take him for a couple laps until he’s used to it. We’ve been doing this for years; we grew up on these things. If he’s never done it, he’s going to be nervous to drive anyway.”

  “That doesn’t mean you should risk yourself, Chey!”

  She sighs and starts to walk away from me. “Then you take him. I’m going out there.” She throws that over her shoulder as she straps her helmet on and takes off, throwing dirt and dust my direction.

  When Dylan comes back, I’m perched on the tailgate watching Cheyenne on the track. I know how she works. I know what makes her tick. She’ll try every curve, jump and obstacle until she gets them just right. But she always ends up in the hospital afterward. And since I pissed her off, she’s being reckless.

  “Not riding today?” Dylan sits beside me and asks.

  I nod my head toward Cheyenne. Dylan follows my gaze. “Watching her. When she’s in a mood like she is right now, she does some dangerous shit on that bike. It’s better that I’m here rather than out there where I can’t pay attention.”

  We sit and watch quietly as she tries jump after jump, landing them effortlessly. Until she heads toward the jumps they use during races. I stand up and clench my fists at my sides. “No fucking way. Get on or stay here by yourself, I don’t care. But she isn’t getting on that jump.”

  Dylan jumps from the tailgate and
waits until I’m seated to climb on behind me. I don’t give him time to adjust before I take off toward Cheyenne. I know I won’t reach her before she gets there, but I can damn well try.

  “Chey!” I start yelling, but she doesn’t hear me. She revs the bike and speeds faster toward her end-goal. I grip my handles and shift gears to speed up. Dylan grips the bike seat behind me, but I don’t pay him any mind. “God damn it, Chey!” I roar.

  “She’s going to do it, man, there’s nothing we can do. We’re too far away.”

  I know Dylan’s right. I know my reckless driving isn’t going to get us to her any faster and only puts us in danger of wrecking, but I keep trying. Keep pushing. She’s trying to show off for Dylan. She’s trying to prove a point to me that she can do anything. One day, her decisions are going to get her or someone else killed.

  Those standing on the sidelines cheer her on as I speed past them. They don’t know she isn’t prepared for that jump; they don’t know she’s never done it. I watch as it’s too late and she gets in the air. She’s great at first, keeps her wheel straight. But I watch as the air hits and it twists. Cheyenne loses control before she hits the ground and skids to the other side of the track, lying beside the bike.

  Dylan’s sharp inhale tells me he saw it, too, and watched. I cut through the grounds where trailers and trucks are usually parked. As soon as the bike stops, Dylan and I are both running toward Cheyenne who still hasn’t moved. I grind my teeth and slide beside her.

  “Chey, are you hurt?” I nudge her shoulder lightly. I don’t want to move her too much in case she really is hurt.

  She slowly rolls over and stares at the sky. Her helmet is still in place.

  “You good, Chey?” I ask again. She lifts herself off the ground and I help her pull the helmet off. I don’t notice any real damage until she shifts uncomfortably and tries to mask the pain. “What hurts, Chey? You have to tell me in case I need to find medical.”

  Dylan starts to look around as more people gather to watch the spectacle. She finally notices our audience and ducks her head into my chest.

 

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