“I don’t know if missing it is the right word…” I replied. I put my hand to my chin and rubbed the short stubble there as I thought about the question. “But there is something rewarding in it, I’ll give you that. Being able to work with my own, bare hands on something and seeing the immediate effects of it… Well, it’s almost like therapy.”
Sam nodded and smiled over at me. “You’re not wrong about that, Spencer,” he said as he put a rough, calloused hand on my shoulder. “It can help you work through all manner of demons, if you know what I mean.” He shot me a knowing look with those green eyes of his and I knew he wasn’t talking in the abstract. Sam always did have a funny way of being able to see right through me.
I nodded at him. “You said it, Sam.”
We both stood in a comfortable silence before making our way inside the house after a long, arduous day of work. Sam fixed the dinner while I washed myself up a little. I took a nice, long shower and made sure to wash all the dirt and remnants of the day off of my skin. The water felt smooth and refreshing after such a long time in the scorching heat and I couldn’t help but spend more time than usual under the warm spray.
Once I was finally washed and dressed, I headed back down the stairs to meet up with Sam. The most delicious fragrance of roasting lamb shank and rosemary wafted through the air and it put a happy smile on my face.
“Smells good, Sam,” I commented.
Sam turned away from the stove. “It’s not much, I’m no fancy chef, but it’ll keep you fed!” he declared with a toothy grin.
Before I could respond, I felt my phone vibrate in my jeans pocket. My first thought was of Rylee. Had she come to her senses? Did she want to talk everything over? My hands fumbled with my jeans and retrieved the small device from my pocket. I looked at the caller ID hopefully only to be disappointed.
It was Robin.
Why on Earth is Robin calling me? I let out a huff and tried to stifle the sadness that was causing my throat to feel thick. I coughed and tapped the screen to answer.
“Hello?”
“Spencer! It’s Robin!”
“Hey, Robin. How are you doing today?” I asked her politely.
“I’m fine. Listen,” she said and I could hear some shuffling in the background. “I need to talk to you, sooner rather than later. I’m outside the main house at the ranch.”
I looked over out of the kitchen window and I could see her familiar blonde hair streaked with grays. Yes, I could see her, but I had no clue what she wanted to talk to me about. This fake boyfriend thing was done and dusted. We’d put on a show at the restaurant last Friday, that’s what she’d asked for. Surely, she wasn’t here to ask for more favors?
No, that wasn’t like Robin. Perhaps… Would Rylee tell her mother what happened between us? Unlikely, Rylee had tried so hard to keep our relationship hidden from her mother. Why would that change now?
I realized I’d been quiet for a little too long and Robin was still waiting for an answer. “Oh, yes, of course,” I replied, feeling nervous and on edge. “I’ll be right out, just give me a second.”
“Okay, thanks, Spencer,” she said before I heard the telltale sound of the call disconnecting.
“Rylee, was it?” Sam asked from over his shoulder as he was washing dishes.
“No… Robin,” I answered in a grave voice, feeling as though my troubles were far from over.
“Ahh! I never have met your old friend. Give me a minute with this greasy pan and I’ll be out to say hello,” Sam called over his shoulder.
“Sounds good to me,” I told him in reply before heading for the door.
As I walked, I took deep breaths and tried desperately to convince myself that Robin wasn’t going to murder me over the whole Rylee thing. It made sense that Rylee might have confessed everything to her mother after our heated argument yesterday. After all, she seemed pretty serious about keeping Jayden away from me. But no matter what happened, no matter if she did get Robin involved, I wasn’t going down without a fight.
When I stepped out of Sam’s front door, I saw Robin right away. She was wearing a tasteful gray pantsuit—pretty standard fpr someone who worked in a lawyer’s office like Robin did. As I approached her, I felt my whole body tense in preparation for an argument. I was getting ready for an argument about how I was too old for Rylee and I should look for someone my own age, when I noticed Robin looking anxious. She clasped her two hands together and she was shaking. It was such a shock, I almost stopped walking, but now, I needed to know more than ever what was going on!
“Robin?” I called as I strode faster toward her. “What’s going on? Are you okay?”
When she heard my voice, Robin’s head snapped up and she took a deep breath. I could see her eyes were watery as though she had just been crying or she was about to cry. “Spencer! Oh, I’m so glad to see you,” she said with a wavering smile.
I reached her and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. “What’s happened? You look awful!”
“I’m okay, I need to talk to you more about our… arrangement,” she said, dropping her voice to a whisper.
Oh, great, I thought to myself and I had to resist the urge to sigh. That was the last thing I needed. “Okay, tell me what’s going on,” I responded with a nod.
“Okay. Well, I went into work today and Archie was there for the first time this week. He’d been away at a conference for the last two days, so I didn’t have to see him which was great in all honesty.” She paused and took a deep breath before continuing, “So, when he got back, I was hoping that our little stunt at the restaurant would be enough to keep him at bay, but…”
“But?” I prompted.
“The first thing he did when he got back to the office was ask me out on a date!” she explained. “I couldn’t believe it. I was so shocked that I didn’t say anything at first and he… He slapped my ass and told me he wouldn’t take no for an answer.” She sniffled and wiped at her eyes. “I told him I have a boyfriend, but he told me that he didn’t believe me without proof! So, I wanted to know if you could come down to the office one day and pretend to be my boyfriend again? Just this one last time?”
Seeing Robin so distraught was unbearable. I hated the idea that this lecherous old man was trying to take advantage of her. The moral part of me wanted to drive down there right now and teach him a lesson, but… What about Rylee? She wasn’t exactly pleased the first time I acted as her mother’s boyfriend. I doubt she’d want me to go around doing it again…
Yet, I couldn’t shake the loyalty I felt for Robin and I reasoned that Rylee wouldn’t want her mom being taken advantage of either.
“It’s all gonna be okay, Robin,” I reassured her and pulled her into a comforting hug. “I’ll take care of it, don’t you worry. I’ll come down to the office tomorrow and take you out for lunch. How does that sound?”
Robin pulled back from the hug with a smile and a look of relief. “Thank you, Spencer. That sounds wonderful.”
We smiled at one another for a moment longer when Sam finally caught up with us. “Spencer!” he called. “And you must be the lovely Robin, I’ve heard so much about.”
When Robin’s blue eyes caught Sam’s green, I noticed her cheeks pinken and her smile widen. “And you must be Sam,” she replied before sticking out her hand. “It’s lovely to meet you. Spencer has told me lots about you!”
“Only good things I hope,” Sam replied with a wink as he took Robin’s outstretched hand and shook it.
“Very good,” she replied and let out a bashful giggle before looking down at the floor.
I was astonished. The two of them were interacting like a pair of lovestruck teenagers.
Hmm…love at first sight?
Well, now, that is an interesting development indeed…
16
Rylee
On Thursday, I was still fuming about my argument with Spencer while I shelved packets of sugar and flower down aisle twelve. I gripped one of the paper packets a lit
tle too hard as I thought about how stubborn Spencer was being and it tore, spilling flour all over my skirt and the floor. I groaned. That was the very last thing I needed that day.
With a grunt in frustration, I picked up the remnants of the packaging and headed for the back room. It was dark in there and there was no one around so I took a minute to lean back against the door and take a deep breath. It was difficult not to think about Spencer and it was even worse when I hadn’t heard from him in days. I knew that I was the one who should reach out to him. After all, the whole mess was my fault. I should have told him about Jayden sooner, but honestly, I was scared. Everything to do with Spencer terrified me and I guess that was kind of the point…
I collected the broom and some cleaning products from the supply closet before I re-entered the brightly lit store. I returned to the aisle and began cleaning up my mess, crouching down on the floor with my hair hanging around my face, when someone coughed to catch my attention. I turned around and looked up to see Colin standing behind me with a bemused look on his face.
“Is that flour causing you trouble, Rylee?” he asked with a small smile on his face.
I sighed and stood, brushing flour off my skirt as I did. “Nothing I can’t handle,” I replied, attempting humor and falling flat due to my miserable mood. “Did you need something from me?”
“No, no,” Colin replied with a shake of his head. “Well, except that I was wondering if you’d made up your mind at all about the botanical gardens?” He looked at me with hopeful eyes and my heart sunk. In all the mess with Spencer, I had completely forgotten about Colin’s offer. Still, I knew what the answer would be either way, I just wanted more time to figure out a way to let him down gently.
I sighed and clasped my hands together before looking at him and biting down on my bottom lip nervously. “Listen, Colin, the thing about that is…” I trailed off and sighed again. “I’m not in a position to a start a new relationship right now. Things are rather… complicated with Jayden’s father at the moment and I really don’t think it would be fair to you to start something while things are still so up in the air.”
I could see Colin’s hopes dashed right in front of me as his smile faded while I spoke. I felt just awful, but I knew there was no point in stringing him along any further. Hopefully, Colin would move on and find someone with a less fucked up situation to date.
“Thanks for being honest with me, Rylee,” he replied after a moment of silence. “It does sound like you’ve got a lot going on right now. I really hope things work out for you, but if they don’t… You know where to find me.”
It astonished me how much of a good guy Colin was. I couldn’t help but think that if I’d never met Spencer, I’d be dating Colin and yet, because I had met Spencer, I knew Colin would never compare. The raw, sexual chemistry between Spencer and I was unmatched by anything. Sure, Colin and I could have a loving relationship, but it would never be as fiery and electric as what I had with Spencer.
I nodded to him. “You’re a great guy, Colin, don’t ever doubt that,” I told him. “And because you’re a great guy, you deserve someone who can be a hundred percent committed to you. I just can’t be that someone.”
Colin nodded too. “I understand, Rylee. I’ll always be your friend, no matter what.”
“Me too.”
He left after that and I resumed cleaning up the mess I’d made of the floor. The rest of my shift passed in a dull fashion since Dahlia wasn’t working and the store was hauntingly quiet all day. I spent most of my shift picking at the nail polish on my left pinkie that was beginning to chip and come away.
So, when the clock finally hit seven and I left, I felt a wave of relief wash over to me. I exited the store and headed for street, excited to get home and see Jayden, when everything came to a grinding halt because Spencer stood there next to his car, waiting for me.
What the hell is he doing here? I thought to myself while trying to combat the urge inside me that wanted me to run into his arms and hug him tightly. As I got closer, I could see that Spencer had a serious expression on his face and I knew he was coming to finish our conversation from Saturday.
“What are you doing here, Spencer?” I asked him when I got close enough. I didn’t want to delay the inevitable. If he was here for another argument, I wanted to get it over and done with. I was too tired to drag it out for too long.
“We need to talk,” was all he said to me in response.
I huffed and crossed my arms over my chest. I knew this was going to happen, but I was rather surprised by how long it had taken him. What had he been up to all week? “Well, talk then,” I replied with a shrug. “It’s taken you long enough to come after me, you must have thought of all sorts of things to say by now.”
“I don’t think the grocery store parking lot is really the best location for it,” Spencer replied.
“Fine, fine,” I said, knowing that he was right. “Well, I’m absolutely starving, so we may as well go somewhere to grab some food while we talk. How about Mae’s Diner? It’s just around the corner.”
“Yeah, that’s fine,” Spencer said in response before turning on his heel and heading down Main Street. It was really difficult to tell how he was feeling. He was good at hiding his emotions and giving nothing away. It was such a frustrating talent of his that we ended up walking in total silence until we reached the entrance of the diner.
I took my phone out of my pocket and quickly text my mom to let her know I’d be late and not to make me any dinner before we walked in. The diner was a familiar venue that I’d been to many times over the course of my life for breakfast on the weekends, birthday parties, and the occasional casual lunch. Over the years, I had changed a lot, but Mae’s Diner had not.
The décor still looked like it was fresh from the fifties with old battered leather seats in the booths, black and white checkered floor tiles, and a neon green and pink color scheme. There was an antique jukebox in the corner and old, worn advertisements for soda still stuck up on the walls. Still, the place had a charm I couldn’t resist and the nostalgia was comforting.
I walked straight toward a booth near the back of the diner where hardly anyone else was sitting. I really didn’t want our conversation to be overheard by any nosy residents of Halston who might spread gossip. I knew better than to trust random strangers to mind their own business.
Spencer sat down opposite me and grabbed the menu in his strong, thick hands. I couldn’t resist the tremor that took me over as I remembered how those hands had touched me just a few days before. Get a grip, Rylee, I told myself as I straightened up in my seat and tried to focus on what was best for Jayden and not how desperate I was to fuck Spencer again.
A waitress in a cute fifties-style outfit and curly blonde hair walked over a moment later.
“What can I get you, folks?” she asked.
“I’ll have a strawberry milkshake with a burger and sweet potato fries,” I told her and handed over the menu.
“Gotcha. And you, sir?”
“Sparkling water and a hot dog,” Spencer told her in a gruff voice. He pointedly looked down at the menu instead of at her or me like he was deep in thought. I would have loved to get a glimpse of what was going on inside that head.
“Right away!” the waitress replied before heading back to the kitchen. As soon as she was out of earshot, Spencer spoke.
“We need to discuss our son, Rylee.”
I let out a sigh. I knew we needed to discuss it, but I was tired from work. I just wanted to go home and collapse on my bed.
“I’ve been patient, but I’m not going to wait forever,” Spencer continued as he tapped his fingers on the table between us. “I want to meet him.”
My heart thudded against my chest at those words. I didn’t think I was ready. How was I going to explain this to Jayden? Should I tell Jayden that Spencer is his dad? So many thoughts raced around my head that I began to feel dizzy.
“I’m not sure that’s such a good id
ea,” I finally said as I stared down at a napkin and began to fold it into an origami swan. “I don’t want my son to get attached to someone who isn’t going to be around for the long haul.”
“I’ve already told you, Rylee,” Spencer barked, “I’m in this for the long haul. Whether you like it or not, Jayden is my son and nothing you can do will change that. I’m going to be there for my son and I’m not going to abandon Jayden or you.”
Despite the tingling I felt at Spencer’s vehement desire for us to be a family, I couldn’t shake the sight of Spencer with my mom, of the two of them on their little date. How could I possibly be with Spencer if everybody in Halston thought he was dating my mom?
“It’s impossible,” I told him with a shake of my head. “I’m sorry, but I just can’t see a way where things don’t end badly for Jayden. Even if you do tell everybody that you’re Jayden’s father and even if you do stay in Halston, everybody’s going to think there’s some kind of weird love triangle going on between you, mom, and me.”
I sighed and stopped talking for a moment as our food arrived. I thanked the waitress before picking up a few fries and promptly eating them. “I don’t want my son to be a pariah in his own hometown. I don’t want him to end up getting bullied or picked on because of something stupid we did!”
“You don’t get to decide everything, Rylee,” Spencer replied with a grimace. “He’s my son too and I want to get to know him. I want to be in his life and what others think shouldn’t matter.”
I couldn’t believe just how ignorant Spencer was being. Despite how hungry I felt, I stood and shook my head at him. “That’s enough, we’re not getting anywhere,” I told him.
“This isn’t going to be the last word on the subject, Rylee,” Spencer replied. “This weekend, I want to meet my son.”
I gasped. This weekend? So soon?
“I’m going to meet him and I’m going to get to know him. I won’t be pushed out of his life.”
Feeling shaken and confused, I turned on my heel and made my way to the entrance of the diner. What was I supposed to do now? How was I going to protect Jayden when everything came crashing down around us?
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