JP tried to control himself. He knew that his temper had gotten him in trouble many times before, and often he acted without thinking things through, so he stopped himself from doing what he really wanted to do. He sat back, not saying anything to the old man.
Not getting what he wanted, his grandfather started on another rant: “Don’t forget that I’ve been keeping your ungrateful mother on the company payroll all this time as well. Not to mention your father, flitting around Europe like a headless chicken, never standing on his own two feet as a man. I kept up all of this nonsense because I thought that you would be different. I’ve given you everything, and look what I get in the end. A pathetic excuse for a Terreblanche man! I consider myself a good businessman, but this was one of the worst investments I have ever made.”
“Is that how you see me?” JP asked, finally reaching the limit of how much he could take from his grandfather. He stood up from the desk, bringing himself to equal height with the old man. “Is that all I am to you? A bad investment? Are we all nothing more than things to build your ego? Pawns in your power trip? Maybe if you stopped treating us all like we’re incompetent we wouldn’t hate you so much! You don’t know the first thing about my parents. You don’t know how the pressure you put on all of us… You wanted us to be dancing clowns for you, always working for your approval but never getting it. That’s why my dad stays as far away from you as possible. You made him hate you so much he couldn’t be in the same country as you!” JP’s face was red with anger. “I’m sick of it. Maybe I don’t want to be the perfect Terreblanche man that you want me to be. Maybe I want to be my own man, and live my life the way that I want.”
His grandfather had taken the outburst with little emotion on his face, and responded in a calm, cold voice: “Well, if you are quite finished. What a ridiculous way to act. But what did I expect?” He walked towards the door again, seeming to shrug off everything JP had said.
“Where are you going?” JP demanded. “You can’t just leave.”
“You make whatever decision you want. But don’t expect me to play into your games.”
“Fine,” JP started, “I’m not quitting the swimming team. I don’t want to do this internship and I don’t want to work at Terreblanche International when I finish my degree. I’m done with trying to be everything that you want me to be.”
“I see,” said the old man, still maintaining his composure. He smoothed his hair with his hand, and rolled his shoulders forward. “Well, if that is your decision, I expect you to be out of the flat I provided for you by the end of the week. Your monthly allowance will be stopped immediately. Clear out this office.” He turned to the door and walked out briskly. JP stood reeling. It was the first time in his life that he had stood up to his grandfather. In fact, it was the first time he had known of anyone that had stood up to him. Instead of feeling happy and empowered, like he thought he would feel, he only felt frightened. What would he do now? It was the first time that he had no clear direction in his life. He would no longer be getting the money from his grandfather that he had relied on, and his parents would never be willing to defy the old man by paying for all of the things his grandfather was paying for. How would he afford his car payments? Where would he go if he had to leave the flat on campus? And another scary thought flashed in his mind then: how would he pay Darryn for the expensive tutoring sessions?
JP picked up his phone and called his mother’s number then, thinking that he would at least tell her what had happened and try to get some advice from her. She was too stubborn to ever give him the money to pay for all of the things his grandfather paid for, even though she could easily afford it, but he simply wanted some moral support from her. Maybe she would even be pleased that he had finally stood up to his grandfather, JP thought. He listened to the phone ringing and waited for an answer, but none came. He tried calling again, and got her voicemail. It was no use. She would probably blame it all on JP anyway. He grabbed his satchel, leaving the files in a mess on his desk, feeling frustrated and a little lost. He would try and figure things out after the weekend. He decided to distract himself by focusing only on the swimming championship semi-finals which would be held the following Saturday. He would win his race, he decided, and be good at something that his grandfather did not buy for him or control. He would do it on his own.
Chapter 17
It was the day of the semi-final race, and Darryn was feeling anxious. He had spent the week leading up to the race working tirelessly to save enough money to pay for Billy’s registration at the private school. Most of his nights were spent at the security job that he had taken on, and, with test season approaching, he had spent his days studying relentlessly. He was constantly exhausted, and he had no time to practise for the semi-final race except for a single session the day before. His lap time during this training session was slightly below his average, but he reasoned that he would not be facing stiff competition until the finals, when he would have more time to put in the hours of practice that he needed. He knew that he had to prioritize his brother at that time, and once Billy’s spot in the private school was secured, he could try to take a bit of a break. But all of the pressure was taking its toll. He felt tired and frustrated as he got off the bus at the Ridgemont University main campus stop. He felt an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach, and his palms were sweaty.
As he walked across campus towards the swimming stadium, he thought about the nightmare he had had the night before. In it, he was in a dark room, sitting in water, and hearing voices around him. His father and Billy were there, calling him to come towards them, but Darryn was unable to move in the water. His family’s faces were lost and desperate. He knew that they needed his help, but he couldn’t get himself to stand up no matter how hard he tried.
There had been someone else in his dream, sitting next to him, holding his hand. It was JP, looking at him with his kind blue eyes, willing Darryn to stand up. Even though Darryn still could not find the strength to stand up and go towards his family, he was comforted by JP’s presence next to him.
The dream had deeply unsettled Darryn, and he couldn’t get the images out of his head. It felt ominous to have that dream on the night before the semi-finals. Darryn wasn’t superstitious, but being as exhausted as he was, his mind was starting to play tricks on him.
Darryn started to feel his anxiety rise even more as he walked towards Donovan Square. What if he didn’t make it to win the semi-finals? There was the very real chance that he would lose his swimming scholarship for the following year if he did not perform well enough. There was also the fact that he would have to tell his father and brother that he would not be able to pay for his studies anymore. He became paranoid, picturing the worst case scenarios, that he would have to give up studying and find a job because his father would not be able to pay the expensive Ridgemont tuition. And another thought crossed his mind: he would not be able to see JP anymore. He wouldn’t be able to come to swim practice and see those blue eyes waiting for him.
Darryn wondered then why JP had become so important to him. Why was he in the dream from the previous night? Why did Darryn worry about not seeing him again, even though only a few short weeks ago he would have been happy to hear that JP would be out of his life?
Darryn knew that seeing the softer side of JP, seeing him struggle with his studies and let go of his ego for a while, had completely shifted Darryn’s perspective. He had judged JP too quickly and thought that he was nothing more than an arrogant, entitled guy. But there was a lot more to him than that. He was funny and charming. He made Darryn forget about the challenges he was facing for a short while.
He came up to a lonely path in Donovan Square, behind many of the popular shops and out of sight of the students having picnics in the park. It was a shortcut to the swimming stadium, and Darryn thought that he had better be at the stadium early so that he could quiet his mind before it was time for his own race. He walked briskly through the park towards the exit that led to the swimming stadium,
and heard a voice calling from behind him: “Hey! Fredericks!”
He recognized the voice immediately, and felt the blood drain from his face. He held his breath and turned around, seeing Peet and his friends walking up behind him. Peet had the same malicious expression on his face as before. Darryn decided that his best course of action would be to avoid a confrontation with them, and pushed ahead on the path with a determined gait. But the guys behind him would not stop calling him. He heard Peet say again: “What are you so scared of, Fredericks? Can’t face us?”
He stopped in his tracks. Impulse took over, and he turned around to face them. His expression was stony and he clenched his fists, feeling annoyance build in him.
Peet spoke again: “How are you, pretty boy? Haven’t seen you at Best Burger in a while. I hope we didn’t get you into any trouble.” The goons behind him laughed their usual, brainless cackle.
Darryn was incensed. He tried to restrain himself, and simply said, “Look, we all have to be at the semis today, so let’s just drop this right here and be on our way. I can’t afford to be kicked off the team, so don’t start something here.” Darryn knew that his vague threat would only fire up his opponents more, but he couldn’t resist. He had decided before their last encounter that he would not allow himself to feel powerless around them, and he would stand up for himself.
Peet narrowed his eyes and moved closer to Darryn, “What did you say, pretty boy? You haven’t learned your lesson yet, have you? Why don’t you just go back to Wellesley Park where you belong? You know you don’t belong here.” Peet’s giant shoulders swayed menacingly as he walked even closer to Darryn. The brutish look on his face made his already unflattering features even more pronounced.
Darryn looked him right in his narrow eyes, and said, “I won’t give you the satisfaction of running away from you. If you want to have it out, then let’s do it. I’m sick of guys like you treating me like I don’t belong here.” Darryn was exhausted and upset, and he didn’t think through what he was getting himself into.
Peet put his face in close to Darryn’s. Darryn didn’t know what to expect, and felt the anxiety rumble in his belly. He stood firm. Peet gave a disturbing smile and spat on Darryn’s chest. Darryn was so shocked by what Peet had done that his movements were automatic after that. Before he knew what he was doing, he had punched Peet hard on the nose, the smack echoing in his ears. Before he ran, he saw Peet’s face covered in blood and his hands over his nose. The other guys ran over to Peet before pursuing Darryn, giving him the chance to escape them. He rushed away as he heard the cry of agony from Peet, an animal moan that rang throughout the park. Darryn knew that the other guys were on his heels, and he was running as fast as he could towards the swimming stadium. There was no telling what they would do if they caught him. He felt proud of himself for standing up to Peet, but he knew that it was a stupid decision to provoke him further by punching him. It would only spell more trouble.
The other guys were shouting behind Darryn, but he was faster than them and arrived at the swimming stadium with a few seconds’ advantage. He ran past the security guard, and he knew that the guys would stop pursuing him once he was inside. He saw Coach Tyson and the other guys in the stadium preparing for the races. He took a moment to catch his breath, and felt even worse than before. What was he thinking? If Peet reported him to Coach Tyson, he would definitely be kicked off the team. Darryn was tired and angry, and hardly noticed JP waving at him as he walked towards the locker room.
Chapter 18
Darryn saw the friendly, inviting face of JP as he walked into the swimming stadium. The team was already assembled at the stands and Coach Tyson was giving them a pep talk. He looked behind him to see if Peet’s friends were still pursuing him, but they were nowhere in sight. They probably went back to check on Peet, he thought. He didn’t have time to talk to JP, and went straight towards the locker room, not acknowledging JP’s warm greeting. He heard JP shout his name as he walked, but decided to ignore him. JP was not getting the message, and ran up to Darryn, calling out to him as he approached him: “Hey there! Didn’t you hear me calling you? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” Darryn retorted. “I just need to get ready for my race.”
“You’re only up in the final race of the day. No need to rush. Listen, I really need to talk to you about something. Can we chat in private for a minute?”
Darryn didn’t look up at JP. He was afraid that JP would see the anger and the shame in his eyes. Darryn couldn’t believe that he had hit Peet and risked his entire swimming career in a moment of weakness. “Not right now. I need to go,” he said, and stormed into the locker room.
He changed quickly, and wore his Ridge U jacket over his bare chest. He went back into the stadium and checked to see if Peet or the others had arrived yet. Only Peet had qualified for a semi-final race, so he had to be there. But none of them were at the stands with the rest of the team. Would Peet really miss his race? Or was he just trying to cover up his injury so that he wouldn’t have to admit that Darryn had hit him? Coach Tyson looked concerned, and paced around in front of the team. Darryn decided that he needed to pretend like nothing had happened, at least until his race was over. Peet would probably tell Coach about everything just because he knew that Darryn would be kicked from the team.
He walked over to the rest of the team and Coach Tyson noticed him. “Fredericks! I was getting worried. We still have some guys who need to get here. The races are starting in half an hour.” Coach Tyson chewed vigorously on his nicotine gum.
“Sorry I’m late, Coach,” Darryn said bluntly, and went to sit down next to Mario. He could see JP watching him a few seats down the bench, but didn’t acknowledge him. He couldn’t face him right now.
Coach stood in front of the team again and rubbed his chin, anxiety clearly showing in his eyes. “Okay guys, this is one of the most important days for us. I’ve got the national scouts here again, and they’ll be here at the finals in a few weeks too, so you need to be consistently performing. You know that we have some Ridgemont students recruited every year to the national team. It’s an honor and it’s a great opportunity, so make sure you’re giving your all out there in the pool today. Only the winners of the four races go on to the finals, so the stakes are high. You’ve all been practising like crazy this week, I know that,” Coach said, giving a sideways glance at Darryn. Between his new job and studying, he had not been to the pool once all week. “Put that practice to use and go out there with everything you’ve got!”
The guys on the bench were all applauding after Coach finished his speech, and Darryn joined in halfheartedly. His eyes were constantly darting to the entrance, expecting to see Peet walk in with a bloody nose and ruin his chances of making the finals. Darryn was feeling the fatigue of the past few weeks finally catching up to him. His thoughts were scattered and unfocused. His muscles felt weak. But he had to try and stay focused. He had too much to lose if he didn’t win the race that day.
“What’s going on with you, Darryn?” Mario finally asked him, noticing how distracted Darryn was.
“Nothing. Just nervous for the race, I guess,” Darryn responded, trying to end the conversation quickly.
“You have nothing to be nervous about. You’re gonna win. I know it!” Mario said. His usual cheeriness was not working on Darryn this time. Darryn sighed and looked back towards the entrance. There was still no sign of Peet or the others.
The announcer’s voice over the loudspeaker caused Darryn to start with a fright. It was time for the first race to begin. The booming voice called up the first swimmers. JP was one of them, and as he walked past Darryn he looked over his shoulder to face him and mouthed the words, “Are you okay?” Darryn just looked away, trying to ignore JP who was only causing him more confusion than he needed.
Darryn could barely concentrate on the first race. He heard the starting shot go off, and saw JP take a quick, commanding lead. His form was very strong, stronger than Darryn had seen
it in a while, and the other swimmers didn’t stand a chance. JP pulled ahead and reached the opposite edge first, causing cheers to erupt throughout the stands. JP punched the air in triumph when he saw his time – it was only a few seconds slower than Darryn’s own record time. He was beaming as he got out of the pool, and came over to the team looking very pleased with himself as he shook every player’s hand. When he shook Darryn’s hand, Darryn said to him, “Well done. That was a good swim.”
JP responded, “Thanks, Darryn. I really do need to talk to you about something important. Can I see you after your race?”
“JP, I need to stay focused right now,” Darryn said, not looking at him. Coach Tyson came over and ushered the next group of swimmers to their starting positions. Darryn went back to his seat and tried to ignore JP. He had no idea why he was feeling so resistant about talking to JP at that time, but the encounter with Peet had rattled him. He needed to get through the day and hope that he would not be suspended from the team. He needed to take part in the finals, or else all of his hard work would have been for nothing. He couldn’t afford to lose his swimming scholarship.
The next two races went by quickly. Mario was cheering enthusiastically as some of his friends on the team were doing well. He tried to get Darryn to join in the excitement, but Darryn was too worried to pretend to be excited about the other races.
Peet had missed the race that he was set to take part in, and Coach Tyson had shrugged it off. “If he can’t be here on such an important day, he doesn’t deserve to be in the finals,” Coach said. Darryn felt a mixture of guilt and anxiety. He had a sense of dread then that there would be serious consequences for punching Peet.
Finally, the time came for the final race of the day, the one Darryn was to participate in. Two of the swimmers he was competing against were also first-year students, and were not as skilled as he was. They would not be too hard to beat. But one of them was a final year swimmer who had been one of the stars of the team. Darryn had beaten him before, so he knew that he could do it, but it would not be easy. He took off his jacket and put on his swimming cap. Mario patted him vigorously on the back, saying, “Good luck, buddy! I know you can do it! Go out there and represent Wellesley Park!” Darryn felt a ball of nerves coalesce in his belly. He swallowed hard, and shook his tired muscles to wake them up. As he shook his hand he could feel it throbbing with pain, still aching from how he had punched Peet. He walked up to his starting position and looked over to the stands again. There was JP, giving him the thumbs up, mouthing something to him. He looked so sure that Darryn would win. Darryn felt a desire not to let JP down. He wanted to live up to the expectations that he saw in JP’s face. He remembered those moments of fun that they had shared over the past week, the only times he had truly forgotten about the challenges he was facing. JP gave him the opportunity to escape his problems, even just for a short while. He knew that JP believed he would win, and he wanted to win in part to see JP happy.
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