by Lea Coll
I dreaded Christmas. My aunt and uncle pressured me to attend their holiday celebration every year, clouding the holiday season for me. It was the only time they wanted me to spend time with them, so it was hard to say no.
I knocked on the door at ten a.m. Christmas morning, waiting on the cold porch until Corbin opened the door.
“Hey, cousin.” Blond hair, blue eyes, he was relaxed in pajama pants and a T-shirt.
“Morning Corbin. Merry Christmas.” I handed him a card. I’d bought him a gift card not knowing what he liked, but sure he’d appreciate it.
“You didn’t have to get me anything,” he said as I stepped inside the warmth of his home.
I shrugged. “It’s Christmas.”
At first, I wanted the experience, the idea of family to come home to, but over the years this tradition felt more like an obligation, not one I particularly enjoyed.
“Where are your parents?” I asked, seeing the living room where the tree was located was empty.
“Mom is cooking brunch and Dad’s in the shower. We opened presents already.”
“Okay.” I breathed a sigh of relief. I tried to time my arrival after Corbin opened presents. They tended to be over-the-top, indulgent gifts. A gift card to a ski resort. One year he’d even gotten a new car. I thought they purposely bought him over-the-top gifts to show he meant more to them, but he got the same gifts whether I was present or not.
They’d stopped giving me presents when I turned eighteen. I didn’t need anything. I just wanted to be part of their family. I never got a feeling of belonging living in their home.
I headed to the kitchen. “Merry Christmas!” I said as brightly as I could.
“Oh, Mia, it’s you.” Aunt Sharon wiped her hands on a towel. “What did you bring?”
I handed her a card. I’d gotten them a gift card to a local winery that had a bed-and-breakfast on site. I wasn’t sure what to get them. They could buy themselves whatever they wanted, but I’d wanted to get them something. They were pseudo parents to me.
Aunt Sharon opened the card before saying, “Oh, you shouldn’t have dear.”
I never knew what that meant. Did she even like it? Should I say you’re welcome when it wasn’t exactly a thank you?
She tucked the card back into the envelope, setting it aside.
I always thought that it was weird when she tucked my card back into the envelope instead of displaying it with the rest of her cards.
It made me feel like an outsider. As if I wasn’t as important as the other people in her life.
“You’re just in time for brunch.”
I helped Aunt Sharon carry dishes to the dining room which was decorated with garland on the walls and a holiday runner on the table.
My uncle walked into the room in a button-down shirt and slacks. “Good morning, Mia.”
“Morning, Uncle Daniel.”
He’d kept himself separate from the family, content to let Aunt Sharon run the house, set the tone.
We sat then, passing the breakfast casserole, fruit, and bread around the table before digging in. I’d eaten something when I’d woken up, so I wasn’t very hungry.
“How are things with you, dear? Have you met someone?” Aunt Sharon asked before taking a bite of the casserole.
Mason’s face during our video chat on Thanksgiving popped in my head. “No. I’ve been so busy with school and the holiday.”
“You know, you’re not getting any younger.”
When I turned thirty, Aunt Sharon started pressuring me to meet someone before it was too late. Whatever that meant.
I wasn’t sure why she cared except to highlight my failures.
“I’m aware,” I said tightly, tired of this conversation.
“Did you ever find out why the guy you were dating at Christmas last year stood you up?”
“Jonathan?” I’d just started dating him before the holidays. He wasn’t traveling to Alaska to see his family, so I thought it would be polite to invite him. There was the added bonus of getting Aunt Sharon off my back. It had the opposite effect when he stood me up, leaving me a voicemail on Christmas morning saying meeting family was too much, too soon for him.
She pointed her fork at me. “Yes, him. That must have been so humiliating having him dump you on Christmas.”
My cheeks heated. “We weren’t on the same page.”
Aunt Sharon opened her mouth as if to say something, but I deflected to Corbin. “How are you doing, Corbin? Do you know what you want to do after graduation?”
Corbin took a sip of his orange juice before answering. “I don’t know. I might want to change majors.”
“Aren’t you due to graduate this spring?” I sensed hesitation as if he might not graduate on time as planned, but I wanted the focus off of me.
“Yeah, but I’m not sure it’s what I want to do.” He’d majored in computer science, not having much difficulty with the coursework when he did it. Attending class and handing in the work was his main issue.
“You’re young. You have time to figure it out,” Uncle Daniel said.
I couldn’t believe how nonchalant my aunt and uncle were about Corbin. They weren’t concerned that he’d spent a lot of money on tuition only to start over again on a new major. Corbin had his parents’ support and money to fall back on. He didn’t have the same pressure I did to make a way for myself, pave my own way.
Aunt Sharon turned to me, and said, “Speaking of graduation, we’re having a party at the house the second Saturday of May. Make sure you clear your calendar.”
I paused my fork halfway to my mouth. “I’ll have to see if I’m free.”
Aunt Sharon waved a hand at me. “Nonsense. Your cousin is graduating. You’ll be there.”
Tension coiled in my stomach that I’d need to see them at an event that would be ripe for them to brag to their friends about Corbin, putting me down in the same sentence. I was sure they’d gloss over his low class rank and grades, only mentioning how amazing his major is. He had great things ahead for him while I worked in a school.
That was probably part of Corbin’s problem. His parents inflated his accomplishments.
Uncle Daniel talked about the computer science field and how Corbin should be able to get an amazing job.
It was possible but I had a feeling his general laziness and lack of ambition would be apparent as soon as they hired him.
I stayed an appropriate amount of time before saying I had plans with friends. Our friends used to get together in the afternoon, drinking, making an elaborate dinner, but as we’d gotten older, each one had broken off that tradition. The pull of family and other relationships got stronger after college until it was just me.
At home, I changed into comfy leggings and an off the shoulder sweatshirt, poured eggnog in a mug, before starting a fire. With a Christmas movie on and the lights of my tree twinkling, I should have felt content. I’d waited all day to check my messages to see if Mason responded to my Merry Christmas message this morning.
Mason: Are you around?
He’d only recently sent the message, so I responded.
Mia: Yes.
A few minutes later, my phone was ringing with an incoming video call. I hit accept, smiling when his familiar face filled the screen. “Merry Christmas, Mason.”
“Merry Christmas, Mia.” His voice was soft. “I love your tree. We have decorations here, but there’s nothing like a decorated tree.”
I wanted to ask if he was having a good day or if he was feeling lonely on the ship, but I’m sure he was.
“How was Christmas with your family?” Mason asked.
I hadn’t told him my parents died and my only remaining family was my aunt, uncle and cousin. “Not too bad. My cousin is having a graduation party in May. It’s a long way off but I’m dreading it already.”
I rested my head on the back of the couch.
“Do you have to go? He’s just your cousin.”
The idea of saying no to my au
nt was appealing, but any time Corbin had a milestone it was celebrated and I was expected to be there. “I don’t think I’ll be able to get out of it. We’re close to him.”
“Growing up, it was just our immediate family. Avery wasn’t born until I was eight, so for a long time it was just me. I never thought much about family obligations.”
“I don’t think you’re missing anything. Maybe if you have a close family it’s nice, but—”
“I thought you said you’re close to your cousin?”
“It’s complicated.” I loved that Mason wanted to get to know me, but I wasn’t sure if it was because of our situation. I worried he wouldn’t care if he wasn’t on the ship.
“Ah.”
Wanting to deflect him from the subject of my family, I asked, “What about you, did you have a good Christmas?”
“Pretty good. I was able to video chat with Everett.”
“Oh, good. I’m so happy you were able to connect.”
Something passed between us then, sending heat through my body. Was it possible to feel a connection to someone over the phone, half a world away? Would this connection we have translate when he came home?
“I can’t thank you enough for being there for us, Stark, Everett, and me.” Mason’s tone was serious, his eyes soft.
“It’s nothing. Anyone would do the same.”
“They wouldn’t.”
I offered to help people out often. They usually appreciated it, but no one looked deeper to see the need inside of me. The need for connection, for help, for love.
“If there’s anything I can do to make something easier for you, let me know.”
“I can’t think of anything I need.” Not something he could give anyway. Love and a family.
“Only a few more weeks and I’ll be home.”
“I know. I can’t wait.” I smiled, my words belied the churning in my stomach that started when he reminded me, he’d be home soon. I was excited but at the same time, worried that this amazing connection we had through messages and calls would stop. He’d remember he could have anyone he wanted. I wasn’t interesting or adventurous enough for him. I didn’t want to travel the world or see new places. I just wanted to share a cozy home with someone who loved me back.
“Me too, Mia. Me too.” He told me about the pranks his friends pulled on the ship when they were bored. I laughed so hard, I snorted, but it had the intended effect, taking my mind off the day I’d had. It was exactly what I needed.
Chapter Seven
Mia
I was giddy with anticipation. Mason was coming home this week. We’d talked more on Messenger as his deployment went on. It was like he needed a connection—one I was happy to provide.
I’d gotten a glimpse into who he was. On the outside, he was a confident fighter pilot. On the inside, a father worried about his son.
We hadn’t discussed what would happen when he came back, other than my agreement to help him with Everett. That was something I’d do for any parent who asked even though with Mason it felt different.
Mason’s carrier would dock in San Diego where there was a welcome home party for the men and women. Then he’d fly to Virginia.
I’d asked Everett how he felt about his father’s return, if his grandparents planned on greeting him at the airport, but he’d said they were too busy.
I didn’t want to discuss the possibility of me taking Everett to the airport with Mason because I wanted it to be a surprise. I was getting ahead of myself again. I was his son’s counselor. I wasn’t his pen pal, friend, or anything else. I’d taken care of his dog, kept him apprised of his son’s actions at school. There was no reason for me to show up at his homecoming.
It was hard to reconcile the man I’d messaged with the man I’d met in person. Maybe he was more comfortable communicating online and video. I’d loved when he’d said he wanted to make up for time lost with Everett. He was reeling me in with a hint of his soft inside, but I shouldn’t ignore the hard exterior.
He was perfect yet he wasn’t. How many guys had I thought were the one who ran as soon as I said I had feelings for them? Mason was dealing with a lot between Everett’s mother leaving, his deployment, and connecting with his son. Any fantasies about Mason were a ridiculous pipe dream.
But the idea of welcoming him home took root and wouldn’t let go. All I could think about was what it would be like to return home with all of the other soldiers’ families there to greet them and no one for Mason. Had Rebecca taken Everett to meet him at the end of deployments? Was this his first time coming home to no one?
As emotionally cold as he tried to come across, he was a man who’d appreciate his son at his homecoming. I knew he would. The only way I’d be able to pull this off was if I met with Everett’s grandparents. They might be grateful to have someone else perform the task they didn’t have time for.
I’d watched a few videos of soldiers’ homecomings and if Mason and Everett could resist their emotions, I’d be surprised. It was a beautiful moment I wanted for them and could be good for their healing. Armed with all of my counselor reasons why this was a good idea, I looked up Everett’s grandparents’ business, an accounting firm. I knew the only way I’d catch them would be at work.
I drove to the office, housed in a brick home near downtown Annapolis, pulling into the small lot. I walked inside, asking to see them. I wiped my sweaty hands on my slacks when Paula Arrington came out. Her gray hair was twisted into a bun and her lips were tight with disapproval.
“You wanted to see me without an appointment?” One raised brow told me what she thought of that.
I stood, lowering my voice. “I’m Everett’s counselor at school. You haven’t answered my calls and I wanted to talk to you about him.”
“Is he acting up again?” Ignoring my comment about ignoring my calls, she sighed as if she didn’t want to deal with me.
“He’s been getting into minor trouble at school. I’m worried about it escalating, but I wanted to talk to you about something else.”
She shifted impatiently on her feet. “Then why are you here?”
It didn’t escape my attention we stood in the waiting room. “I’d like to take Everett to pick up his father at the airport when he returns.”
“Why?” Her eyes narrowed on me.
“I think it would help Everett deal with the emotions of his father being gone,” I said gently. I didn’t want to upset her by coming across as if I knew more than her.
She snorted. “Emotions? What emotions? Mason had a job to do and he did it. Everett will see Mason when he arrives at the house.”
Her cold dismissal of my concerns and Everett’s reality, angered me. I straightened, pushing back my shoulders. “Are you planning on picking him up?”
“No. Rebecca used to take Everett.”
“I’m worried about Everett. I think this could be good for him.” Everett wouldn’t express any feelings surrounding his father’s deployment. Having met his grandmother, I could see why. She didn’t have patience for emotions. Everett had pushed his feelings down so deep he acted out. Paula had no idea the damage she’d probably inflicted on Mason and now on Everett. Relief flowed through my limbs that Everett only had a few more days until Mason was home.
“I don’t have time for this. Take him.” She waved me off and took a step back from me.
Her words struck me in the chest, pain radiating to my shoulders. I called after her, “Perfect. He’s coming home on Saturday. I’ll pick up Everett at ten a.m.”
She’d already turned and walked toward her office. I was dismissed. Anticipation flowed through my veins. As much as I wanted Everett to see his dad, I wanted to see him too.
I pushed out any thoughts of Mason wanting me there or not. Every sailor should have someone to greet them after a deployment.
Mason
I was finally coming home. I thought I’d be a little upset about not flying again, but my supervisor had mentioned I could stay in the reserves if I
wanted. The idea of being able to continue flying fighter jets was appealing, easing some of the sting of my discharge. I could still work at Cole Security and be in the reserves. I had options.
I never had anyone greet me in San Diego where the carrier docked. Usually, Rebecca and Everett would meet me at the airport. I hadn’t felt the sting of Rebecca’s abandonment until now.
I hadn’t bothered to ask my parents to bring Everett assuming they’d say no. I stepped off the escalator before heading to baggage claim. I couldn’t wait to see Everett, hold him tight, assure him I wasn’t leaving him again.
“Mason,” a female voice said. I looked around, thinking they had to be talking to someone else.
Instead, I found Mia standing next to Everett. She looked nervous but I couldn’t register anything else but the fact that Everett was here. Relieved to see him, I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him in tight. He’d grown since I’d been gone. “This is the last time, Ev.”
He nodded against my chest but didn’t respond.
My heart clenched at the idea he didn’t believe me. It was as much my fault as it was Rebecca’s. “I signed the papers for discharge.”
Everett looked up at me, tears in his eyes. “You did?”
“I promised I would, didn’t I?” It wasn’t the time or place, but he needed to hear this and understand it. I pulled him to the side out of the way of people grabbing their luggage.
“But you love to fly.” Everett’s eyes were filled with worry. He was a child who shouldn’t be worried about my happiness. Certainly not when my career had come before him up until now.
I could see conflicting emotions filter over his face—joy, confusion, guilt. “I do love to fly, but nothing is more important than you. I relied on your mother to take care of things while I was gone, but now it’s just you and me. Things are going to be different. We’re a team. You get in trouble, I’m in trouble. You’re happy, I’m happy. You got it?”
He reluctantly nodded. “Yeah, okay.”
I wasn’t sure if he believed me, but he would. I’d make sure of it.