by GG Shalton
Sara looked down and curtsied as well. His frame took up the doorway and a smile formed across his face when their eyes met. “I would like a private moment with Miss Rhodes.”
The woman stood up and left them alone.
Joslyn noticed a beautiful velvet box in his hand. “You are breathtaking, and I thought this would be perfect for you.”
Not knowing how to act, she reached her hand out to take the box. A gasp came out of her lips as she opened the box. “Is this…?”
He nodded. “It’s diamonds and it’s yours.”
“This could feed my family for years. I can’t wear this around my neck.”
His face lost his smile, cheeks reddening in irritation. “Stop it! Your family is not starving. I want you to wear it. It will please me. I want my guests to know that my woman is well taken care of.”
“Your woman?”
He stepped forward and brushed a kiss across her cheek. “My woman.” He removed the necklace and placed it on her neck.
She lifted her hair so he could hook it. Leaning down he whispered into her ear, “You want to please me, don’t you?”
Closing her eyes, she ignored the tightness in her throat. “Yes, I want to please you.”
He placed his hands on her shoulders, turning her around to face him. “Good. I will be the envy of every man in the hall.” Giving her a quick kiss on the mouth, he smiled. “I have thought about you all afternoon. Have you thought about me?”
Slightly panicked, she forced out her words. “I did think about you.”
He took both of her hands bringing them to his mouth. “I would like you to come to me tonight—to my chamber. After dinner, there will be jugglers and acrobats. Then some of the men will have some after-dinner drinks. I will retire and will expect you shortly afterward. I hope you’re ready for that.”
Joslyn’s head was spinning and she needed to sit down. Taking a step back, she sat on her trunk, putting a hand to her stomach. “I do not know, Your Grace. I have never been in a man’s bedchamber before. Forgive me if I feel nervous.”
He bent down on his knees in front of her. “It is time for you to face your fears and show me that I am not the only one who wants this. It’s all I have thought about since the first time I saw you. I am not usually so open or generous with my affections. If you would relax, you could enjoy it as much as I do.”
Her eyes burned as a tear escaped. “I will do as you please.”
He let out a frustrated sigh. “Am I really that terrible? Are your tears a sign of repulsion? I don’t want to force you.”
His words cut her. What did he think he was doing? Choosing between the lives of her family and letting him touch her was not a choice.
She fidgeted with her fingers. “I don’t find you terrible, Your Grace. But I wanted to give myself to my husband. Now I won’t be able to marry one day. We are taught relations before marriage is a sin. I don’t want to sin.”
He reached out and cupped her face. “The law does not permit such marriages. This is my way of helping you. You can stay with me and won’t have to marry. I will take care of you.”
“Until you tire of me.”
“You can’t always worry about the future. For now, I am happy to have you with me. Everyone here knows that you are my woman. That is enough. They will respect you as they do me. Now, let’s go entertain our guests.”
She took his arm and they walked together to the great hall.
Chapter 7
People stood when they entered the hall. Joslyn could hear the whispers and tried not to make eye contact with anyone. Andre seemed oblivious to the attention and pulled her closer. She could feel her cheeks warm with embarrassment as she passed by the prying eyes and climbed up onto the dais to dine. The duke slid out her chair and then took the seat beside her. A few additional noblemen with foreign uniforms were joining them at the table of honor. Joslyn made a point to stare at her lap and not engage.
“You must introduce us, Andre.” A man dressed in more medals than the others winked at her as Joslyn looked up. His light brown hair was hanging down past his shoulders and his eyes held a bit of mystery.
The duke placed his hand over hers. “This is Joslyn Rhodes, my special guest.” He turned to Joslyn. “Joslyn, this is Prince Leonard of Tamera and his companions, Lord Rivers and Lord Blake.”
Joslyn swallowed hard and bowed her head. “Your Highness.”
He stared at her for a few seconds before switching his attention to the duke. “You must have been hiding her. Where do you come from?”
The duke shifted in his seat. “Miss Rhodes is a loyal Mallard citizen. We were recently introduced at a parade. I invited her to stay with me for a visit.”
The men looked at each other with knowing looks. The prince raised his glass of wine. “A toast? To the lovely Miss Rhodes who captured a duke’s interest. May your visit be filled with enjoyment.” He took a long drink, finishing off the glass. “Now, I must make it a priority to attend more of my country’s parades. Who knew the possibilities?”
The duke nodded without smiling and took a drink without adding anything to the toast. He scooted his chair a little closer to Joslyn, almost marking his territory, as he watched the prince’s eyes drift over her.
The food began coming out, but Joslyn was not hungry, instead thinking about the night.
Unmoved by the duke’s possessive gestures toward Joslyn, the prince made it a point to speak to her. “Tell me Miss Rhodes, where did you get such an exquisite necklace?”
Joslyn lifted her hand, touching the jewels. “Your Highness, it was a gift from His Grace.”
He raised his eyebrow. “Indeed? It’s a nice piece. Although with the color of your eyes, a colored diamond may have looked better.”
She looked down at her food afraid to say more. The duke narrowed his eyes, trying to switch the conversation, “The mines are producing more than ever this year.”
The prince was having none of it, barely acknowledging his statement, he turned his attention back to Joslyn. “Tell me Miss Rhodes, what is it you like to do when you are not going to parades?”
Looking up at the duke, she watched the muscle in his jaw twitch. Not wanting to upset him, she tried to keep her answers short. “I… um… help my parents.”
The duke let out a sigh and turned to Joslyn. “I think it’s time for you to retire. I will send for you later.” His tone held finality and he motioned for a guard.
“Oh, come on Andre. Her company is pleasing.”
The duke’s jaw flexed. “I appreciate your compliments about my guest. But she is only pleasing me. And I have asked her to retire until she can please me more later.” His words were a challenge.
The prince paused, his smile fading as he assessed the duke like an opponent. After a long moment, a slow smile came across his face and he raised his glass of wine. “You’re a lucky man…”
The sting of his words made the contents in her stomach churn. They knew what she was, but to hear him say it out loud cut her like a knife. Embarrassed, she took one of the guard’s arms and was escorted away. The great hall could see that she was leaving before the meal was finished being served, and she could only imagine what they were saying about her.
Her bedchamber felt like a sanctuary and she wished she could hide there forever. Sara joined her a few moments later. “I heard you left dinner early. The servants were talking about it.”
“What did they say?”
“That the duke looked upset at some of his guests and asked you to leave.”
She closed her eyes, covering her face with her hands. “Oh Sara! It was awful! Those men were looking at me like I was his whore. The duke confirmed that I was to please him later. He seemed angry that they were speaking to me at all and told me to leave, saying he would call for me tonight.”
“The servants
say he is infatuated with you. Others say it’s an obsession that will soon burn out once he is through with you. Regardless, Josie, you can’t hide forever.” Sara sat beside her. “It may not be as bad as you think. Many women marry men they don’t know or like. They still get through the marriage act. Look at Samuel, he does not love Tracy, yet I am sure they have consummated their marriage.”
“Sara!”
“Apologies. I forgot myself. But you know what I mean. Listen to me, if you have no choice, you should at least make the best of it. Try to get as much as you can from him—jewels, coins, dresses—anything that we can sell.”
Joslyn narrowed her eyes. “Sell?”
“I’ve been thinking. If we had enough money, we could go back to Merle and get our families. Your papa said he knows a man that can help us over the border to Napery. If we could escape, then we could start over.”
Joslyn shook her head. “Sara, that is a dangerous plan. Not to mention against the law.”
“It’s better than no plan. At least think about it. Get as much as you can, Josie. We may need that money later if we are to survive. I don’t think the duke means to hurt you, he just wants to be with you in that way.”
Joslyn turned away, crinkling her nose. “It’s a sin, Sara.”
“It’s his sin. You will ask God to forgive you.”
Joslyn wore the night rail that Abbie brought up for her. The robe was silk and embroidered with beautiful flowers. Abbie told her to wear her hair down as the duke had requested it. She was mortified to think what Abbie must think, but she never looked at Joslyn with any disappointment and followed her duties without flaw. After she left, Joslyn waited curled up in a chair by the window until Abbie called for her. What seemed like hours went by when she heard a knock on the door. Unable to move for a moment, she willed her legs to stand and went to answer it.
The duke stood in the doorway.
“Your Grace? I thought you would call for me?”
He stepped in, closing and locking the door behind him. He leaned down and kissed her mouth before he spoke any words. “I couldn’t wait another moment. You consumed my thoughts all through dinner and I found it difficult to concentrate on any trade talks. I just wanted to be with you.”
He wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his face in her neck. “I love your smell.” Lifting her off the ground, he carried her over to the bed. Joslyn flinched unable to think straight. Laying down beside her, he looked down at her face. “The Prince of Tamera and his men noticed your beauty and it made me angry. I don’t like other men looking at you like that. You are mine, Joslyn.”
She looked away, unable to meet his angry stare. He lifted her chin, forcing her to look him in the eye. “Say it.” She smelled the alcohol on his breath and tried not to anger him any further. Trembling, she closed her eyes. “I don’t understand.”
He propped his weight on his elbow, letting go of her face. “Look at me.”
She looked at him and he whispered, “Say your mine.”
Her voice cracked. “I am yours.”
Taking his finger, he traced the outside of her lips. “I won’t force you. If you don’t want me to touch you, say the word and I will leave you.”
Her eyes searched his face, her mind settling on what she must do to please him. Denying his touch would put her in a worse position. “I want you to stay,” she forced the words out in a hushed whisper and saw him smile in approval.
He observed her for a moment before reaching down and kissing her. Gently, he cupped her face. “I will take it slow.” He kissed her again more urgently, pressing his mouth firmer so her mouth would open for his tongue. He lay his body partially on top of her, running his fingers lightly down her arms to take hold of her hands, guiding them around his neck. She held on to him allowing him to explore her body. Taking Sara’s advice, she remembered that many married women never knew their husbands prior to their wedding day because the union was arranged by their parents. They allowed their husbands to touch them even though they had just met them.
She stiffened as she felt him remove her clothing, but she did not stop him or resist. He was very gentle. As much as she tried not to enjoy any part of him, her body responded to his touch. She felt pleasure in the way he softly caressed her and whispered sweet endearments into her ear. He took his time kissing her in the most intimate places making it hard for her to focus. Trying to push away the guilt, her mind took her to other places—happier times so she would not be fully in this moment—as she thought about her family and the woods near her home. She wondered what would happen to the cellar now that their hiding place had been discovered?
“You’re beautiful,” he whispered as he took away her innocence. Closing her eyes for a moment, she thought back to the burned down stable. She hoped her parents were able to rebuild it. Perhaps Sara was right, the duke did seem to favor her, and may allow a letter to be sent to her parents. She could ask Sara’s parents to read it to them.
Her woolgathering gave her peace as she felt him get off her. His left arm wrapped around her, bringing her closer to him. Beads of sweat came off his brow as a smile flashed across his face. “My dear, you are exquisite. I wanted to make it special for you, but the first time can be awkward. It will be better the next time.” He sat up and kissed her on her cheek. “Are you well? Do you hurt?” He almost sounded endearing to Joslyn, but she knew his mood could switch quickly and she did not trust him.
She felt mostly sore, any pain had been quick. Mostly she felt embarrassed at being so exposed to a man that was not her husband. She reached for the blanket and covered herself. “Just a little sore. I probably just need a bath and some rest.” She was hoping he would go away and leave her alone.
He leaned over and caressed her face. “Joslyn, this was very special to me. I hope you feel the same. I will leave you to rest and give you a few days to recover. It will be easier and more pleasing to you the next time.”
He got out of bed and dressed, while Joslyn looked away. She didn’t want to see his unclothed body, so she turned her body away from him. Trying to hold back tears, the reality of the night felt heavy in her chest. She was no longer a maiden and finding a husband may be impossible in the future. The guilt consumed her.
Once he left, she buried her face into the pillow. After her tears dried up, she jumped out of bed and took the soap by her basin. Taking a cloth, she scrubbed her body wanting to clean herself. Hoping to wash the guilt away. After rinsing the cloth several times, she crawled into a ball on the floor feeling a loss of her childhood. She was no longer a girl but a woman. She must not have heard the door open and when she looked up, she saw Sara standing over her, holding out her hand to help her off the floor.
Joslyn lifted her hand and pushed Sara’s hand away. “Just get out!”
Sara’s eyes held a mix of shock and concern. “I want to help you.”
“I want to be alone. Please go away.”
“Please, you’re shivering. Let me help you to bed.”
Joslyn’s words caught in her mouth, crying she said, “I won’t sleep in that bed. It smells like him.”
Sara’s face sobered. “Oh Josie! I’m so sorry. I saw him downstairs and did not realize he had already been here.” She looked around the room. “I will change the bed linens so they are fresh.”
Sara grabbed a blanket and put it over Josie on the floor. She quickly disposed of the sheets and went to the trunk to put on fresh linens. Taking perfume, she sprayed the sheets, ensuring his smell was gone. All the while Josie watched her from the floor, not able to move.
Finishing up the bed, there was a knock on the door, and Sara opened the door for Abbie, whispering, “Miss Rhodes is not feeling well. I will stay with her.”
Abbie walked away, and Sara closed the door and went to help Joslyn to the bed. She tucked her in and sat on the chair in the corner. Joslyn finally whispe
red, “I will be fine. But please don’t ever ask me about it.”
Tears ran down Sara’s face. “I just have to know if he hurt you. I can’t rest my mind thinking about it.”
“Not physically. He was gentle, but I will never be the same. The guilt is killing me. I bedded a man who was not my husband.”
Sara crawled into bed with Joslyn and took her hands. No words were spoken, just the feeling of friendship surrounded them. Both girls fell fast asleep.
Chapter 8
Joslyn spent the next day in bed. To her surprise, the duke stuck to his word and did not bother her. The only time she heard from him was when he sent flowers with a message that he missed her. Sara made a point to inform him that she was only having some stomach discomfort. Luckily, he was tied up with Prince Leonard and his entourage.
The following day, Sara and Abbie brought the bathtub, so Joslyn could bathe and ready herself for the day. They walked with her to the great hall and left her to enter by herself for breakfast. Joslyn noticed Pricilla and another lady speaking with hushed tones. She felt some relief seeing a familiar face and went to join them.
“May I sit with you?”
“Joslyn, of course, please sit down. You look lovely today. I had heard you were under the weather.”
Joslyn smiled, accepting a fruit plate from a servant and taking a bite of some berries. “Yes, I was. But I am feeling much better now.”
Pricilla looked to the other woman. She was dressed in yellow with flowers throughout her hair. Joslyn had never seen her before. “This is Lauren.” The other woman offered a friendly smile.
Joslyn smiled back. “It’s nice to meet you. How have you been, Pricilla?”
“I can’t complain, my dear. I heard the duke was in a good mood and picked some flowers for you yesterday. Normally, that’s a servant’s job. You must tell us your secret.”
The women giggled as a shadow appeared over them. Pricilla looked up and bowed her head. “Prince Leonard, Your Highness.” She tried to stand up, but he put his hand gently on her shoulder.