I roll my eyes at his condescending tone and the worlds he sees, thinking he sounds smarter or more grown-up. But we're all the same. Chosen for our gifts, to learn how to protect the world, to serve the gods. Being divided is a mistake since I can't imagine guardians all save people on their own.
"Thanks." I huff and walk away from them, pretending I'm not afraid to turn my back on Holly. I'm sure she could do something with that cold ice of hers. Frost from her breath, a pile of snow to bury me. But the school and the gods know where I am. If they would kill me for showing my powers and being angry at the abuse of a teacher, then they would certainly punish Holly and her brother for harming me on the way to see them.
I make it to the door, unscathed and nervous, knowing that I will have to stand in front of the gods and ask.
I won't leave without finding out what Hades has done, even if I need to find my own way to the underworld to get the answer.
Entering through the door, I'm hit with a blue light, dark and glowing all around, runes in Neolithic stones scattered across the area I can see. There, blue bugs are flitting across the sky.
"This doesn't look like I thought," I say out loud to no one.
Suddenly appearing in the space in front of me, a form appears, hovering above the ground. Small wings behind his back, a tight pink top, and a pair of jeans so tight, I don't know how he breathes.
"This place can look like anything, as part of the Hall of dreams. It looks different to everyone, and even your mood can change it," he explains to me.
"Hermes?" I ask, quirking my brow at him. "You're not what I expected either."
He shakes his head. "I have more contact with the human world than the other gods, dear, so I often find myself mixing trends of theirs with those of the gods. Now, if we could go? I don't like to keep Hera waiting."
I nod, swallowing a lump in my throat. I know who Hera is, and I don't know how I feel about her being on the council that will decide the punishment, for what I supposedly did; and, as well as be answering my questions about my father.
I wasn't exactly expecting the queen of the gods to be involved, but that seems to be going around today. And we haven't learned about the council yet in my history classes. Not until next semester, according to the course syllabuses.
I follow Hermes out of the strange blue glow and eventually find myself on solid grass, greener than I could imagine even in a rich persons lawn in a gated community, and the sun is shining above us.
I look up - I'm wrong. More than a dozen moons shine down a brilliant light, rather than a ball of hot gas.
"When you leave the Hall of dreams, the south end of your academy, you'll be facing the amphitheater. The path in front of it could lead you out to the human world from here."
I look in the distance to my left where Hermes is pointing and catch a glimpse of a well-trodden path.
Behind us, you'll find the gates into Hell, toward the north. Where we will be going, is the Hall of Appollo where the Council holds court, at the far southwest corner."
Hermes points in a direction I can't see. I follow behind him dutifully as he zig-zags over the many paths, past glorious buildings belonging to the gods, their servants, and their children. Some buildings are identifiable by statues or images depicting the god it belongs to, while others are both fascinating and mysterious. I think I know better than to keep asking questions.
Hera won't even consider going light on me or telling me anything I want to know if I'm late because I can't stop accosting the messenger.
Finally, we approach a circular building, smaller than the others, and we go inside. I'm led up several flights of stairs because there are of course no elevators in Olympus. Then I find myself staring off a ledge of one of many arches, surrounding the room, several floors up, overlooking a table filled with the gods.
Right upfront is the golden blonde sunbeam herself, Hera, and Hermes makes his way down to take his place as well.
I can only place two of the others from popular culture; Apollo to her right and Athena to her left. The other four are lost on me.
"Ember, daughter of Hades, I have heard many things about you. Whispers about your trials at the academy, your temper, your defiance, and your neglectful mother."
All of her words float up to me and then hit me like judgment day. As if they believe all of these things are my fault.
Just what I need - for the queen of the gods to also have preconceived notions about me.
"I never knew my father or even who he was, and yet I am blamed, condemned to be like him? I don't even know what it means to be like him." My voice finds its way out again, no want for self-preservation as usual.
It’s all gone out the window.
"The daughter of the enemy dares speak to us that way?" one of the men asks in outrage, his muscles full of bulging veins like he could have a heart attack.
"Hercules, we are not to take this personally," Hera chides him, answering once and for all who he is.
A demi-god on the council. Now that more than interests me.
"What you say is true, child, but you accepted the invite to the academy. It is a contract to abide by our rules and behave as a guardian would. The expectations are so much higher than for any human position." Her lips are pursed.
"I can handle a challenge. What I can't handle is being hated for no other reason than my blood."
"Ember, everyone, including the gods, pays a price for what they want. They have burdens to bear, and the human notion that all of them are only something they can get through, is wrong. Not wrong in theory but in thinking. You must learn to get over the idea that we are only given what we can learn."
I have to respect her for that even as much as I feel her judgmental eyes piercing me all the way up here and out of her physical reach. I place just as much emphasis on knowledge. This is the kind of thing, I was looking for and expecting out of this new part of my life, not Pepto Bismol and threats to my life.
"You were sent to us because of an outburst which could have been dangerous. While your magic is impressive, many are afraid of it."
"How is that my problem?"
She tsks me like she's my mother. "It may not be your fault, but it is your problem if you wish to stay here, to learn and train to become a Guardian."
"Fair enough," I say.
"You will write an essay on what it means to be a Guardian by Monday for your punishment."
That’s it?
"You are dismissed."
"Wait," I say as Hermes moves to get up and lead me back out. "I want to know, if I'm going to overcome this, what makes my father so bad?"
"This is a good question, and even a punishment I had thought about. If anyone is going to trust you, denouncing Hades is your best option," Hera says, loud and clear. The others are smiling and nodding their heads in unison. "However, I do not believe in anyone making judgments without seeing first hand, even though it seems many in our community are that way. You are to go from here and see your father in the depths of the underworld, where he has been locked away for punishment. There, you will know why he is so hated."
She turns and nods to Hermes, no more words spoken.
I will actually be dismissed this time.
"You'll come with me," Hermes says, suddenly by my side.
"Where again?"
"To the Gates of Hell."
Chapter Sixteen
"This world will never be...what I expected...and if I don't belong...who would've guessed it?”."
~ Three Days Grace
I expect to feel something different when we cross through the gates of Hell, but nothing really happens other than we find ourselves standing in front of a dark river, winding and confusing, ominous. And waiting for us, or I guess whoever, is a boatman. The kind the Greek heroes had to have coins on their eyes when they died to pay so they could get safe passage into the underworld rather than roam in limbo forever.
But even though my power involves seeing ghosts, I see
none. Maybe once you make it here and get stuck, you can’t be a ghost. You’re just...stuck.
The idea gives me shivers as Hermes leads me to the faceless, nameless man to whom he hands a silver coin. "Issuance of the queen for safe, living passage of us both."
"Where to?" the boatman asks in a grumpy tone.
"Tartarus."
My eyes go wide, but I say nothing as we step into the boat and sit down, hands clinging to the sides so tightly my knuckles turn white.
I still don’t know a lot about the history or ways of the gods other than from my curious research of Hades himself, as well as anything I learned academically in the human world. I'm sure there’s so much more beyond that which humans can’t comprehend or don’t remember. But what I do know is Tartarus is the worst possible place to be in the underworld. A place where the worst sinners, some of them, immortals like Cronos, are tortured and remain forever to be locked up away, where they can hurt anyone anymore.
"Why there?" I finally get the courage to hiss at Hermes who looks back at me with an eye roll.
"To where he’s been imprisoned for his crimes."
I wiggle in my seat but say nothing more, afraid to ask too much. No wonder no one wants to tell me. If Hades is locked up in his own world for crimes so bad, he has to suffer in Tartarus, then it had to be world-ending chaos. I don’t know now how much I want to meet him. I might be disappointed by him, even more than I am of my mother. What will they do to my psyche if I find out neither of my parents cares that much about me and they’re both bad people who made a mistake?
All the years I spent sick already made me feel foreign like I couldn’t belong anywhere. Then, getting invited to a place I SHOULD belong, only to see that isn’t so either. Everyone hates me at Guardian Academy. It isn’t the home I envisioned, even if day by day I am finding myself a little more. Even if it’s better than my Moher’s avoidance. It still makes me feel sometimes like I’m worthless, nothing, worth the destruction, so many want to see.
It’s only my pure stubbornness that keeps me here and fighting. I'll be damned if I let them take me down. I want to prove everyone wrong, but that doesn’t mean I can ever prove it to my own heart.
Or my own flesh and blood.
My mind has easily distracted me for a time, making it simpler to ignore the winding darkness of the smooth and eerie, silent waters. And when I finally look down, I feel nauseous.
I didn’t see any of the dead souls stuck at the entrance because they’re all in the water. Faces pocked in horror, some wailing wordlessly, mouthing, and begging to be let out, or to know where they are.
How I know what they want when I hear nothing and when a million languages must be contained in the cesspool of the dead and lost, I have no idea, but I wish I didn’t know. I wish I kept my head straight forward.
I know it’s part of the job for Hades, or at least was until he was locked up. I'm sure even if it’s dark and some places are meant for punishment, it can’t be all bad. This is too much for me right now. The threat of being sent here instead of the academy has new meaning for me now. It’s not what I want, even though I could probably learn to live with it.
I would miss the light.
And maybe that’s what my father’s problem is. He misses the light, the earth, clean waters of the surface, brilliant moons. He’s the only one not allowed there for an extended period. Could it have driven him mad after all this time?
A dark figure approaches, only made obvious by the lone lamp at the front of the boat and how pure the darkness of the shape is. It’s so black I can’t even describe it to human eyes.
And the boat jerks to a stop, though I know we have yet to reach our destination.
"What’s happen -"
"Shhh," Hermes hisses at me like a warning, as the dark figure glides impossibly above the water toward us, standing in the water to my left.
Death.
The cloaked figure, its cloak not cloth, darkness itself blanketing its body. It stares down at me though its hood is entirely empty of eyes or anything I can see. When - he, she, it? - speaks, the voice is grating. Like metal grinding against metal.
"I sensed Hades' presence. Now I see it is even more alarming than his possible escape. Why is the girl here?"
Hermes answers for me, and for once in my damn life, I don’t argue. "She's a new student at Guardian Academy. She’s never met her father and has been sponsored by the Council to come meet him for the first time. Nothing more, Thanatos."
The thing, death, Thanatos I guess is his actual name, hisses, though some of the sounds amused, as he bends over, ever so close to me. The smell of rot, sweet and awful, upon him. "Don’t come knocking on my door until your mortal life is over. Too many are in the running here already. I don’t care who you are."
Thanatos waves an arm and glides away, the boatman allowed to continue. I let out my breath, trying not to gasp in the dank air, in relief.
"Since I already know your human curiosity will get the better of you, I might as well tell you that Thanatos, which I believe humans know as Death or The Grim reaper, is worried you’ve come to stake your claim of the underworld."
"My claim?"
"You’re Hade's daughter. His only known child. And he no longer runs the place. If you did not become a guardian, it could be yours. All of this. And Thanatos alongside Tartarus is an interim leader, in control of the place."
I let that sink inf for a minute. So even in this place where I could rule, no one wants me here, because I’m a threat. I do take it as a compliment coming from Death I suppose.
The boat takes a turn, and we pass several destinations, many much calmer and more beautiful than that of the river which held all the suffering souls, who didn’t find their way through.
But then, I know we are close as volcanoes, strange cliffs, and frozen waves of fire grow up on either side of us.
The gates loom ahead, a dismal bronze with a huge skull carved into the top.
"Only you may enter here." The voice booms, and it takes me a moment to find where it’s come from.
An aged man, basketball player type to be exact, stands close to the gate like a guard, a large staff of some kind in his hand. His face is pale and, angled but the most human thing I’ve seen down here. His clothes are like an ancient executioner's. And he’s pointing at me.
"The boatman and I will be waiting here for you when you’re done." Hermes assures me.
I get out and am led inside the gates by Tartarus, the torturous creature who runs this part of the underworld. Once inside, the gates slam shut on us.
All around us is the fire and brimstone so many churches preach about. It’s only one part of the afterlife, reserved for the most awful sinners, but I suppose a place like this could stick in the mind and cause a deathly fear.
We walk a bridge over a lake of fire to a large boulder where a man is strapped with hundreds of hot metals chains.
Everywhere I hear screams and moans. Those begging for forgiveness or eternal death which they will never get.
I'm glad I don’t see the titans anywhere. I’d chicken out and run.
"No funny business, Tartarus tells the man, his hair covering his face as he hangs almost like Jesus on a cross. "I'll know if you try to escape and end you both."
The man looks up, and of course, this must be Hades. Though his mouth is twisted in a painful grin, he looks strikingly beautiful. I can see instantly how he could have seduced my mother so easily.
"My sins come to catch up with me, finally," he says with a choking laugh. He looks pristine, but his voice sounds unwell. His throat scratchy like someone who has been inhaling smoke. "I'm guessing you're the daughter I produced on earth?"
"That would be me," I say with chagrin, unsure what to do right now. It’s much more awkward than I prepared for.
"How did you get here? How did the gods find you?"
"I’m a student...at Guardian Academy."
He lets out another ill sounding cough.
"Of course, you are. How is that working out for you, oh daughter of mine?"
I scowl at him. "Not well. Everyone hates me because of something you did. Yet, no one can tell me what that is."
"Of course not. It’s so awful I can’t even control my own domain now!" he’s yelling at Tartarus who's busy torturing someone else and doesn’t even look our way. I get the feeling this is a common exchange.
"So, what, you won’t even tell me either?"
"So, you’re looking for a bedtime story. Well, this isn’t one for the kiddies." He waits for me to laugh, but I only blink and stand my ground. The short of it is that I used my helm to make me invisible. I went crazy and took my powerful staff and used it for evil. Gods were killed as I tried to take over Olympus for what they felt was a second time, and humans were nearly destroyed by catastrophic weather events. All this while I didn’t even know you existed yet," he scoffs. "Demi-gods and humans alike orphaned and suffering more than Zeus and Hera thought was right and natural. I almost succeeded, apparently."
"Why? Why did you do it?"
"Who says I did?" His question catches me off guard. This is not what I expected. "I haven’t seen my scepter in years. They can’t find it either. They think I hid it. I found my helmet the day they came and chained me here." He spat on the ground, making me jump back as acid sizzles and burns a hole near where I'm standing.
"You here that, Tartarus! I didn’t fucking do it!" He rages, shaking his chains, and I don’t know what to do as he keeps screaming and raging like he’s lost it.
I don’t get to ask or think any more about that, as Tartarus picks me up over his shoulder and practically throws me out and back into the boat.
What are the chances he’s telling the truth. That Hades didn’t do it.
Chapter Seventeen
"And will you tell all your friends
You've got your gun to my head?."
~ Taking Back Sunday
When I get back to the academy and my room, slamming the door and throwing myself against the wall in a fetal position, I feel more like an angsty teenager, than I ever have.
Bane of Hades (Guardian Academy Book 1) Page 9