Friday 4/30
6:00 P.M.
Saw Justin and Nancy walking hand in hand in the hall today. Forced myself to smile as I passed them.
This would have been easier if Justin had told me about Nancy before I saw them kissing.
I think.
Have to get ready for the party. Raoul, Mom’s hairdresser/makeup person, is here. Mom said he’s going to do my hair and makeup too. I hate this.
7:00 P.M.
Ducky just called. He pretended he was a French waiter who was working at the party and had lost the address. “So I’ll be right over, zen, Meez Blume,” he said with a fake French accent.
There’s my phone again.
It was Sunny. She called to tell me to have fun tonight.
Asked me how my dress looked. I told her I didn’t have it on yet.
“Well, put down the phone and put on the dress,” she said. “I’ll wait.”
After I slipped the dress over my head I shouted toward the phone, “It’s on. I’m putting on the shoes.”
I picked up the phone and told her I was ready.
“How do you look?” Sunny asked.
“Okay.” I checked myself out in the mirror. I looked good. How could I have thought I was fat back when I was a whole size smaller?
“Just okay? Okay isn’t good enough.”
“The dress is perfect,” I told her.
“Have fun tonight, Mags,” she said. “You’re so cool around all these big-deal people. I admire that.”
I told her it was only because I know they aren’t big deals.
“That’s the other thing I admire about you.”
That was really sweet. And I knew she meant it.
I’m so lucky to have great friends.
Just heard a limo pull up to the house. Time to make my appearance in the role of Hayden Blume’s lovely daughter.
9:30 P.M.
What a boring party! And it’s not over yet. Dad has taken everyone to the screening room to see scenes from movies that inspired him to produce Love Conquers All. I snuck up here to write in my journal. I want to remember what’s happened so far, so I can tell my friends tomorrow. They’ll want to hear every last detail.
The scriptwriters arrived first. Next the costume designer and her assistant. Then the director, Vance Vandersby, and his wife.
Vance is totally obnoxious. I noticed tonight that he pretends he’s interested in you, but he’s really looking past you to see who he should talk to next.
Dad calls that “working the room.”
I call it “bad manners.”
Vance was asking me about school, as if he cared, when someone called out, “Here they come.”
Conversations stopped midsentence and everyone headed toward the front door. A white stretch limo was pulling up.
My dad jumped outside and opened the back door of the limo.
Felicia Hope stepped out. She was wearing a slinky, short hot-pink dress.
“Hayden, thanks so much,” she gushed as she planted a kiss on Dad’s cheek.
Next came Tyler. He had on black linen pants and a short-sleeved shirt with a black-and-gray checked print.
Dad and Tyler shook hands.
Dad looked around at the rest of us once they’d come inside. “You know everyone here,” he said to Felicia and Tyler, “except my family.”
Mom came forward. She seemed pretty sober. She kissed Felicia on the cheek and shook hands with Tyler.
Zeke was beside Dad now. Dad signaled me to join them. He put an arm around each of us.
“My daughter, Maggie,” said Dad. “A musician, I might add.”
Why does he do that!?
“And my son, Zeke. He’s been looking forward to talking to you, Tyler, about your work in Protect and Serve.”
Felicia gave me her big phony smile and said hi. I mumbled, “Nice to meet you.” Felicia is only seventeen, but she looks and acts a lot older. She had on loads of makeup, spiked heels, and a “look at me” attitude.
Tyler said hi. He’s fifteen and is really (I have to admit it) a good-looking guy. If green is the true color of his eyes. And if those waves in his hair are real. One thing is definitely real—his muscular build. I suppose he’s been working out for this role. After all, he’ll be wearing a bathing suit for a lot of his scenes. I wonder if he has to watch what he eats to keep that lean shape? Probably. Or maybe he’s one of those people who can eat whatever he wants and still not gain weight. Like Justin.
The head waiter invited us to come around to the patio for cocktails. The piano player had arrived and was playing Broadway show tunes. I’d already asked Dad NOT to ask me to play the piano under any circumstances. And he had agreed. (Thank you, Dr. Fuentes, for helping me to say what I want—and don’t want.)
Dad introduced me to more people.
I’ve met a lot of them at other parties, but I never remember their names. And I never know what to talk about, especially when they say things like, “You’ve certainly grown.” Or, “Wow, Hayden. She’s turning into a real beauty.” Here’s the comment I hate the most: “If she were my daughter I’d lock her up until she was eighteen.”
I wanted to reply: “If you were my father I’d want you locked up until I was eighteen.” But I kept quiet, still playing the part of the Good Daughter.
At dinner I sat between Felicia and one of the scriptwriters. Zeke was next to Tyler.
Tyler seemed to be talking—or listening—only to Zeke, who was showing him his Handy.
Vance and Felicia share the award for yakking the most during dinner. Even Dad couldn’t outtalk them.
Vance was mostly talking about Dad and how great he is. No wonder Dad let him go on so long.
Felicia talked endlessly about her trip to some fancy Caribbean island, about the famous people she hung out with and the expensive restaurants and trendy bars they all went to.
“I told Tyler he should have come with us,” Felicia said. She smiled at him. “You could have practiced your surfing for the movie, Ty.”
Tyler looked up and smiled back at her. “Well, maybe I should have come,” he said.
Dad looked from Felicia to Tyler. I know he was hoping their smiles were a sign that Tyler and Felicia are—or soon will be—romantically involved. You can’t buy that kind of publicity.
Felicia suddenly turned to me. “Now tell me about you,” she said. “How’s school?”
“Okay,” I answered.
She explained that she’s been tutored since fifth grade and she wondered what it was like to go to a regular school. She asked me a lot of questions.
When she asked, “What goes on in the hallways?” I had a flash memory of Justin and Nancy walking hand in hand. I didn’t include hand-holding in my answer.
But I did try to answer Felicia’s questions as best I could. She was so interested and was really paying attention to what I said. I wondered if maybe I’d been wrong about her. Maybe she was a real person under that act. Maybe she wished she could lead a more normal life.
Dad overheard us and told Felicia, and anyone else who would listen, about Vanish and what a fabulous musician I was.
“How charming,” said Felicia.
She smiled at everyone at the table and proudly announced, “Hayden’s daughter is telling me about her school. I’m doing research for the film.”
“That’s our Felicia,” Vance announced. “A true professional.”
A true phony is more like it.
Felicia wasn’t interested in me. She was just using me for research.
The screening will be over soon, so I better go back downstairs.
11:30 P.M.
I won’t tell my friends what happened next tonight. But I’m going to write about it. Otherwise I might not believe it happened at all.
After finishing that last entry in my journal, I left my room to return to the party. As I passed Zeke’s room I heard a voice. But it wasn’t Zeke’s.
The door was halfway opened, so I peeked to see who was in th
ere.
In the mirror over Zeke’s bureau, I saw a reflection of Tyler standing in the corner of the room.
“How about it?” he was saying. “You said you’d do this for me. Are you going to?”
I was trying to figure out who Tyler was talking to. Then he looked up and saw me watching him in the mirror. He sort of waved.
I took a step into the room and looked around. No one else was in there.
“Sorry,” Tyler said. “Zeke brought me up here. To see his turtles.” He pointed to Zeus and Jupiter. “They’re cute. I had turtles back home. I gave them to my brother Teddy, when I left. Teddy’s Zeke’s age.”
I looked around the room again. “But where’s Zeke?” I asked.
“He—um—went to the screening.” Tyler was blushing with embarrassment. I was amazed. “Your father already showed me those film clips. When he signed me on for Love Conquers All. So I—uh—thought I could come up here to rehearse tomorrow’s scene.” He shrugged his shoulders. “I get really nervous before I start a new movie. Actually, I’m nervous all the way through the shoot.”
I was caught off guard. He was being so honest.
“I’m a wreck whenever this band I’m in performs,” I told him. “Everyone else is acting cool, but I’m a bundle of nerves. I can’t hide it.”
Tyler asked me what I did in the band. I told him I play the keyboard and sing.
“No wonder you have stage fright,” he said. “You’re singing in front of a live audience. That’s scary and a lot harder than what I do.”
“But there are all those people on the movie set when you act,” I pointed out. “And millions of people are going to see the movie.”
“Hey,” he said with a laugh. “You’re making me even more nervous. I need help!”
I couldn’t believe it. He was asking me for help!
“Okay,” I said. “What do you usually do to calm yourself down?”
“Rehearse. I feel like I’m a little more in control if I’m rehearsing.”
I said it sounded like he was rehearsing the scene in which his character, J.B. (Surfer Boy), is trying to convince this studious guy, Tom, to tutor him so he can impress Vivian (Brains) in history class.
“You read the script?” Tyler asked.
I nodded.
“Do you like it?”
I was shocked. Why would Tyler Kendall want to know what I thought of the script?
“It’s okay. What do you think of it?” I said diplomatically. “You’re the one who has to be J.B.”
“It’s okay,” he agreed. “But I have to find more to the character than what’s on the page. That’s my job.”
“I’m sure you can,” I said. And I was. I’ve seen Tyler in his other movies. He’s good.
He tapped his hand nervously against his leg and said, “Thanks. I sure hope you’re right.”
Tyler looked so nervous I felt sorry for him. And before I knew it, I’d offered to help him rehearse.
I sat on the desk and he handed me the script. I read Tom’s part. (I lowered my voice so I’d sound more like a guy.) Helping Tyler rehearse was really fun. He was nice—and normal. Not like Felicia.
He gave me the pages for another scene. It was the one in which J.B. rescues Vivian.
VIVIAN: You saved my life. I—I would have drowned if you hadn’t pulled me out.
J.B.: You were really easy to save, you know. Maybe you could have even made it back by yourself.
VIVIAN: I couldn’t. I can’t swim.
J.B.: You’re shivering. (Puts a towel around her shoulders.) There. That’s better.
VIVIAN: Thank you.
When we were practicing that scene, Tyler used the blanket at the end of Zeke’s bed for the towel. He gave my shoulders a little squeeze when he put it around them.
I looked up at him and our gaze locked for an instant.
“I’m glad I met you,” he whispered.
I looked down at the script. That line wasn’t there. He was saying it to me for real.
But was it real?
Or did he add the line so he’d understand his character better?
He is an actor, after all.
“Tyler, you up here?” someone called. It was Felicia. I dropped the blanket from around my shoulders as she came into the room. “What are you two doing, hiding away here?” She put her hands on Tyler’s shoulders and cooed, “Everyone is looking for you, honey. They sent me to scout. I’m supposed to bring you back. Alive.”
“Then let’s go,” he said, following her out of the room. He turned and winked at me. “Thanks, Maggie. For showing me the turtles.”
“Turtles!” exclaimed Felicia. “How quaint.”
Turtles?
Is that what the last fifteen minutes had been about for him?
Was I imagining that the time had been about something more than turtles?
I just don’t know.
I looked around Zeke’s empty room, like the walls could give me answers. But the walls weren’t talking, so I went back downstairs myself. By the time I reached the living room, Tyler was the center of a small circle of guests. He was Total Movie Star again.
Maura Davis, the assistant director of the film, started talking to me. She likes a lot of the same music that I like. I told her about Vanish and she told me all about a rock band she was in when she was my age.
I feel awful admitting this, but even as I was talking to Maura, I was thinking about Tyler. He’s an actor, I told myself. He turned on the charm. He isn’t really glad he met me.
People started to leave. The party was finally winding down. Maura asked for a tape of the band. I ran upstairs for it.
When I returned I noticed that Tyler was looking around the room. He spotted me and smiled.
“Maggie, thanks for rehearsing with me,” he said. “It helped. I’m not so nervous anymore.”
“Really? You’re cured?”
“For now. Anyway, I’m really glad I met you.” He smiled again.
It was like there was a current of energy running between us.
This is ridiculous.
He’s a movie star.
I hate movie stars.
TO THE LAST STAR
Star light, star bright,
The last star I see tonight.
I wish I may, I wish I might
Forget the star I saw tonight.
Your light isn’t real
And neither is the feel
Of your hand on my shoulder.
You don’t mean
What you say.
They’re lines from the script
You have to learn
So you can earn
A zillion dollars
Like my dad.
Star light, star bright,
The last star I see tonight.
I wish I may, I wish I might
Forget the star I saw tonight.
I want to forget Tyler. Did I ever have that buzzy, connected feeling with Justin?
Not like that.
Well, forget Tyler, Maggie. Every girl in America thinks she’s in love with him.
YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BE ONE OF THEM.
Saturday 5/1
10:00 P.M.
Spent the day at the beach with Ducky, Sunny, Dawn, Amalia, and Brendan. We had a blast. It was so good to see Sunny surfing again. Sunny and Dawn wanted to know all about the party. I told them everything—except for the business with Tyler.
Had this weird moment at the beach today. This real cute surfer guy waved in my direction. I thought that it was J.B. Surfer Boy. So weird. That’s the character Tyler plays, not Tyler. The guy waving wasn’t J.B. or Tyler. It was a guy waving to someone walking along the beach behind me. What would have happened if it was Tyler? Would he have liked my friends? Would they like him? Does he like me?
I have to stop thinking about Tyler.
Sunday 5/2
6:00 P.M.
THERE WAS A MESSAGE ON MY MACHINE FROM TYLER. Couldn’t believe it. Here it is:
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Maggie. It’s Tyler. Listen, it was so great to meet you. I’ve been wondering if you’d come around the set sometime this week. We’re shooting in Sound Studio 4. There’s a lot of downtime on a movie. But of course you know that. Anyway, I thought it’d be a chance for us to talk. So I’ll see you. I hope.
Guess I’ll go. Of course I’ll go. Tomorrow I’m working at the shelter after school. I’ll go on Tuesday.
I’m crazy.
This is crazy.
Well, it’s no big deal that he invited me.
But I’ll just drop by to see the set. After all, it’s my father’s movie. Dad’ll love it if I show some interest.
Tuesday 5/4
4:00 P.M.
Here I am on the set of Love Conquers All. I’m writing this while they’re shooting a classroom scene. They’ll probably shoot it a thousand times.
I haven’t been on a movie set in ages. Five fancy trailers are lined up outside Sound Studio 4. One of them is Tyler’s.
The studio is set up with a classroom, a school hallway, and a locker room. People are coming and going in all directions. There are extras dressed in hip “school” clothes and technicians working on the lighting and camera locations.
At first, I didn’t see my father. Or Tyler.
As I walked around, a horrible thought struck me. My father raised millions of dollars to make this movie with Tyler Kendall. Did Tyler invite me because I’m the producer’s daughter?
I decided to leave.
As I turned around, Maura Davis called to me. She told me that she’d listened to the Vanish tape and thought it was great. Of course, I wondered if she said that because of Dad.
She also told me that Tyler was in his trailer. “He said to tell you that, if I saw you.” She showed me which trailer was his and mentioned that Felicia had left for the day. “If you’re looking for her.”
“I’m not looking for anyone,” I said casually. “I just dropped by, you know, because my dad likes me to.” Meanwhile, I was glad that Tyler was looking for me and that Felicia wasn’t there.
I decided to stop by Tyler’s trailer on the way out. Only because Maura told me he was expecting me.
I was about to knock on the trailer door when it opened and a man came out. He had on a fancy suit and was carrying a briefcase.
Diary Three: Dawn, Sunny, Maggie, Amalia, and Ducky Page 17