I hear boisterous cheering and jeers behind me. I look over my shoulder to see Nathan in the crowded games area. God, he’s such a big kid. He’s playing pool, and guaranteed it will be for money.
As he raises his hands high because he is now champion, he sees me. He beams and makes his way over, excusing himself from his guests. He’s dressed in black jeans, a cream shirt, and brown timberland boots.
“Wow, Liz.” He tugs on my fingers. “Sorry for being ignorant, didn’t see or recognise you.” He steps back to look at my dress. “You look so... so.” He’s struggling to find the right words, and I’m uneasy with his attention. “Beautiful.”
“Nathan.” I laugh awkwardly. “Stop making me feel like an idiot. Can you not remember holding my hair back for me last week, while I puked on your shoes?” I’m trying to put him off, and from the look on his face, it’s working.
“Well, that’s what friends are for, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, well, I’m still mortified.”
He taps his foot to the beat of the music. “Liz, stop it. You forget how well I know you.” He takes my hand. “Come on, I’d like you to meet some of my friends. You’re not standing here on your own.”
“Nathan.” I stop moving. “Do I have to?”
“Yes.” He pulls my hand.
I lumber behind as he guides me to the big boys gaming area. It’s home to a retro pinball machine, pool, Pac-man, and a poker table.
We squeeze through a gathering around the pool table. I freeze in terror. I cannot believe my eyes. Through the cigarette smoke, I can see Dominic Lawson seven balling his opponent. Oh shit, how the hell do I tell Nathan I already know this guy? He was there witnessing me sign some contract in my blood, so I could sleep with Adrien.
“Hey Dom.” Nathan waves at him.
Dom winches up his head. He flashes a, well-well-well, look who it is, face my way.
My cheeks heat up, and I can literally feel my whole body shaking. Jeez, I feel like I’m in big trouble here. I’m on the brink of being caught out for doing something totally reckless. If Nathan finds out, I’ll never live it down.
“Dom, this is my best friend, Liz. Known her since we were in high school,” Nathan says.
Dom stubs out his cigarette in one of the many ashtrays dotted around. “Well hello red. It’s good to see you again.” I look at the floor as he lifts my hand to kiss my knuckles.
Why the hell did he do that? The hand kissing thing is not a great way to greet me. Especially now Nathan’s eyes have sparked wide open. I’m clearly panting. My ribs are moving in and out rapidly to keep up with my wild heart rate.
“Red?” Nathan cocks his brow at Dom. “Do you two know each other?”
I give my big begging eyes behind Nathan’s back and nod anxiously at Dom. This is so damn awkward.
“Dom and I met once. At The Mill. He knows Adrien, don’t you Dom?” I clamp my teeth together tightly.
“Yeah... sure.” Dom smiles smugly.
“Okay,” Nathan says, knowing there’s something going on.
Mercifully, one of Nathan’s guests starts to kick the pinball machine, and his attention is instantly drawn away.
“Hey... hey!” He pushes through the crowd, leaving me alone with Dom.
“So red,” Dom says. “Are you sticking to the rules of the contract, even though you two are, what’s a nice way to put it... through?”
I’m not sticking to nothing. I just don’t want people thinking I’m brain-dead for signing something for a man that I clearly wasted my time on.
“Hey, stop being so uptight.” He smiles kindly. “I’m not going to tell anyone. I’d be in the shit myself if I did.”
I frown at him. I really don’t understand this secret businessman society thing they’ve got going on. It’s bloody bizarre, and I’m glad that I’m away from it now.
“He’s a mess by the way,” he adds. “You’ve fucked him up, bigtime.” He moves his hand up and down over his mouth to indicate Adrien has been hitting the bottle.
“It was him that made the mess.”
“Well, was over the top giving him what for in the middle of Thomas Street. I heard everything.” He giggles. “But it tickled me seeing one of the best being shot down by a girl.”
Dom was there, listening to everything. Great. I must have looked and sounded like a complete lunatic.
“But I guess it serves him right,” he adds.
“What do you mean?”
“It’s not very often an executive wants a red. I’d say you’re the first in years since Sara signed for Laurie. He should have told you what it entails. But then Laurie was being a jackass when he found out about you two. Adrien didn’t have much choice.” He drinks his whiskey, which he’s obviously had too much of. “Honesty is the best policy so they say. I guess he must have wanted you bad enough to hide the truth.”
“What truth?” In confusion, I watch as he sways in a drunken state against the pool table.
Nothing has been clear-cut since I signed that paper. And I can’t believe Sara is Laurie’s red. Why isn’t she with him? Adrien’s a mess. He really wants me. He’s been hiding things. How the hell do I digest all this? The thing is, right now, I’m trying not to care. I needed this night to be normal. A night I would drink, dance, and celebrate being single. The first stepping stone in getting over him.
“Liz, Adrien is one of the good ones, and you will understand that one day,” he says, seriously. “You’re part of the firm now.” He winks at me.
He’s talking gobbledygook to me. I’m not part of anything. Just as I’m about to open my mouth to ask what firm he’s referring to, Cate suddenly seizes my arm.
“I’m here, haven’t forgot about you. Tara wouldn’t shut her mouth.” Her tongue nearly falls out as she flutters her eyelashes at Dom.
I’ve seen the same look before. The slutty eyes and the leaning body. She’s pitching herself to him.
“Hi,” she flirts, holding out her hand. “I’m Liz’s friend, Cate. And who might you be?”
Oh no-no-no. I’m not going to stand here all night while she tries to get into his pants.
“Call me Dom.” He does the formal hand kissing thing on her and she loves it.
Nathan bounds over to me from the DJ decks. “God, I’m paying that guy good money. You’d think he’d have any song I request,” he whinges.
I grumble as I hear the first two cords of the song he’s asked for. If this is a joke, it is not funny at all. Are there no other girls here tonight he wants? Why has he requested this damn song?
I lower my head as he takes my hand and starts to swing it back and forth. He has that sad puppy face on show.
“Liz,” he pleads. “You know you have to. Just this once. Please.” He starts to pull me to the middle of the room.
Everyone cheers. Why are they cheering? Do they think this is like Dirty Dancing or something?
He veers me into his body, running his hand over my back and around my waist. He uses his other hand to take my fingers to his chest, gazing down at my fretting eyes. He grins sweetly; the same one that always makes me smile back. He leads and I follow, as everyone in the room returns to their banter.
This is nice. He’s warm and I feel comfortable. I cuddle into his shoulder.
“Do you know something, Liz,” he says in my ear. “I don’t think I’ll ever meet anyone who will come remotely close to you.”
I seal my eyes tight. This is sinful, and I shouldn’t use him for solace. But I need it; a man’s touch. Shit, I still need Adrien.
He begins to sing: All Over Again by Justin Timberlake, and I listen. We used to dance to this song when we were an item.
Shit Liz, stop moving. You’re giving him the wrong signals here.
I see Cate over his shoulder. She’s waving her hand across her throat, furious with me. He’s no rebound man. He’s my best friend. I pull back from him immediately.
“Nathan, I can’t do this.”
He leans in an
d kisses me, and for a stupid idiotic second I let him. Again I stumble backward, pushing off his chest.
“Nathan, I said no. It’s not going to happen!”
“Liz. Why. Shit!” He growls out a breath. “You’re still pining for Mr Prick.”
He started this, not me. Is this why he’s stuck around me all these years, waiting for me to yield, while he gets his leg over every goddamn weekend. He’ll never change. All he’s ever been to me, is a friend.
I fill up with a boiling shame as he stands there, showing me up in front of the whole muted party. I blush and run out into the hall, choking back on my tears. Cate follows me, trying to keep up as I force my way through the mass of people.
“Liz.” She reaches my side. “That was wrong on so many levels.”
“Cate, leave me!”
“You can’t run from him. Sort it out. You’re supposed to be friends!” She grips my arm and yanks me back.
“Cate, get your hands off me.” I peel her away. “I’m going home, so just leave me the hell alone,” I scream, and charge toward the elevator.
THE RAIN IS HEAVY AND relentless, but it doesn’t wake me. I’m not walking in the downpour, I am the downpour. I’m verging on a mental breakdown and I’m hurting anyone in my path. I thought I was getting over him, but I’m right back to square one as he floats around my head, destroying my sanity.
I cross my uncovered arms over my tummy, and move through the monsoon. My hair is dripping, weighty wet, and the icy water that flows down my face, masks my tears.
I trudge by a row of garages and hear an engine at my back, travelling at the same speed my legs move. It pulls up to my side and I listen as the window rolls down. Do I look like a damn hooker?
“Elizabeth.” I turn because I know that silk voice. “Get in the car,” Adrien coaxes.
I carry on and hurry up. I can’t talk to him. I’ll forgive him. I know I will.
“Elizabeth.” He’s out of the car and is now holding my biceps with a firm but tender grip.
I stop, my heart pulsing with anguish as I snivel down at the silvery pavement. He handles me gently, coming to stand right before me. I keep my view away from him as the rain beats down on my neck. I see his Lacoste sneakers. Hell, I have to. I want to see his face again.
I elevate my head as rain spurts out beads in my anxious breaths. I peer up at his wet skin and into his destitute eyes. He sweeps his hand up my arm then cups my neck. God, I love the feeling of his hand there. I blink and draw the rain into my mouth.
“Elizabeth.” He fondles my neck to wake me.
I open my eyes to see his beautiful crestfallen features incline down, and his lips touch mine. I instantly rouse from the bleak void I’ve been trapped in. It’s as though his touch breathes life back into me. The hunger I have for him is ravenous and emotional. To weep while kissing him is an erratic but amazing feeling. I press my fingers into his face because I don’t ever want to lose this man again.
He pushes me back against a garage shutter with a bang. His inhalation is gruff and pensive. He groans then suddenly reels back away from me. We’re both in a state of raspy desire. I watch as he begins to pace in vexation with his fingers clenched on the top of his head.
“What is it?” I appeal. “Please don’t do this to me again.”
“Elizabeth, I’m trying not to.” He keels over. “I will not touch you again.” He stands upright. “Not until you know the truth. And when you do, I know you’ll never want me near you.”
“Jesus Adrien.” I step forward. “Why are you being such hard work?” He doesn’t answer, just gazes with this defeatist glaze across his eyes. “I want you,” I nearly scream at him.
“Elizabeth.” He expels all the air from his lungs and walks to me. “Please, you can never fear me.” He threads his fingers through mine. “But you need to know, I’m not who you think I am.”
“Okay, you’re sounding all theatrical now. Whatever it is, I’m sure I’ll be able to handle it.”
“This... this you might not.” His jaw pulses. “Are you sure you want to come with me? I can walk away, and you’ll never see me again.”
God, why on earth is he doing this to me? It’s clear we both can’t stay away from each other. There is no other possible answer.
“You know I have to,” I utter. “I’m not going through this again.”
He sighs as though he’s disappointed by my choice, and heads toward his Jag. He opens the passenger door for me. I look up to him as I slip down into the seat.
“Is this all about that contract?” I ask.
“It’s about everything, Elizabeth.” He closes the door on me.
Chapter 23
Elizabeth
Adrien opens the door to his apartment and flicks on the lights. I’m expecting Sara to pop out from somewhere, scantily clad, ready to serve her master, but for now we seem to be alone.
With gradual steps I make my way to the central fireplace, leaving a trail of raindrops in my path.
“Here,” Adrien calls behind me. I turn to see he’s holding out a white towel, while rubbing his own hair with another.
“Thanks.” I take it and wipe the rain from my neck. “No Sara?” I ask sarcastically, because I haven’t forgotten what I saw.
His honey tinted eyes elevate under his eyelids. He ditches his towel on the kitchen surface, then goes into the fridge. He takes out a beer and something else, then turns to me with a bottle of that tonic in his hand. The supplement that’s caused nothing but friction between us.
“You need to drink this.”
Why is he still insistent on giving me something I don’t want?
“Are you being serious?” I scowl.
“Please,” he appeals. “You have to.”
Call me naive or stupid, but that anxious look on his face hurts my heart. I huff and snatch both the beer and tonic from him.
He unbuttons his damp shirt then slips it from his firm body, pulling another beer for himself from the fridge. I thought this was a serious issue he wanted to discuss with me. How can I do that now he’s decided to walk around shirtless? I gawp at him. It’s an involuntary response. I’ve touched and kissed that chest. It’s hard to contain myself when I see it. He switches on the central fire so it flames like my heart is doing right now. I out-breathe, still as a statuette.
“Elizabeth, drink,” he says, perching on the edge of the sofa. “And sit down please.”
I quickly down the tonic and take a swig of the beer, then sit down beside him. He arches over with his elbows on his knees. I want to reach out to him and touch him, tell him everything is fine and that I’m all ears. But I don’t, in-case it puts him off.
“The only thing I did at Sara’s, was change into some of Dom’s clothes,” he says honestly. “The idiot spilt red wine all over me.” Wow, I really am an irrational bitch aren’t I. “Don’t worry about it.” He notices my shameful face. “That’s nothing in comparison with what I’m going to tell you.”
Oh no, I really don’t like this. Something worse than me losing my mind in the street and accusing him of adultery, when he’s given me no reason to suggest we were even an item in the first place, other than the best sexual experience of my life in Killiecrankie.
He takes a lengthy breath and pushes himself up to stand before the glowing fire. I haven’t blinked. I can’t. He’s tormenting me with his body, and worried me with his words. He lowers his head and mumbles something to himself in anger.
“Adrien?” I call out, concerned.
He takes a small silver item out from his pocket and peers down at me, grinding his jaw. “I have used this on you. In that room,” he discloses.
“What is that?”
He opens his palm to show me a large solid silver ring. It’s old, very old, with a black stone set in the centre, surrounded by intricate engravings.
“It’s called a ditale ring, and I used it to take something from you.” He closes his hand around it tightly. “And from the moment I sa
w you, I fought with myself not to do it.”
He pushes his thumb down hard on the ring and something clicks. My eyes crease because it’s so small and I can’t see it clearly in this light. He places it against his chest and drives it deep into his skin. I gasp, terrified, watching blood seeping out from a large gash just above his nipple. I jump up with the damp towel I used on my hair.
“Adrien... what the hell!” I go to press the towel on his chest, but he grips my arms and stares down at me darkly.
Shit, he’s a self-harmer. Is this his secret? Why would he even do that in front of me? My eyes burn with upset as I try to move my arms so I can help him. But he’s too damn strong.
“Adrien, let me help you!”
He gazes at me, his eyes large and inexplicably black. Oh god, that’s not real is it? No one’s eyes can dilate that way.
“Elizabeth,” he says deep and low. “I’ll let you go, but you mustn’t do a thing.”
“Are you kidding. You’re fucking bleeding everywhere!”
He releases my arms and strolls into the kitchen with blood trickling down over his abdomen. It’s unusually thin blood, only a little thicker than water. He pulls a polystyrene box out from beneath the kitchen island and opens the lid. In a frenzy, I pull out my phone. I’m not going to let him bleed to death.
“Elizabeth,” he calls as I stab my finger down hard on the screen.
I try to switch the thing on, but my hands are tremoring, and I’ve suddenly forgot how to work the stupid thing. Crap Liz, stop shaking.
He takes a bag of red fluid out from the box.
Okay, that’s not blood is it?
I’m obviously losing my head here.
I move my torso forward and squint at the blood bag. I have to be hallucinating. I’ve drunk too much, or I’ve been spiked, because what I’m seeing here is beyond crazy. He unscrews the cap and starts to drink from it.
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