A Love Melody

by Grace Roberts

  “Ryan, please. I love you.”

  He looked up from his hands at Jennifer, and she winced at his glower.

  “Shut up. You don’t even know what love is. Get out of here and out of my life. It’s over.”

  She begged him, touched his hands, his face, tried even to fake tears but the harder she tried, the angrier it made him. He was tired of this charade, of all her lies. He knew it would be headline news as soon as the media found out that they had split up, and she would probably be even more famous after that. She had achieved her goal, so why did she have to go on playing a part?

  “I said get out!” he shouted, when he couldn’t take it any longer.

  His cheeks were on fire and he thought he was probably coming down with a fever again. His chest felt heavy and he felt short of breath, as if something had gotten stuck in his throat and stopped all air from passing through.

  He tried to breathe, but he couldn’t. Jennifer called his name, but everything became muffled and he slowly drifted off. He could guess what was happening, and he knew he couldn’t do anything to stop it. There was only one person who could help him now, and her name echoed in his head like the chorus of a song he knew by heart.

  The muffled sound of the machine next to his bed going crazy was the last thing he heard, the moment he understood he was losing the battle this time. If only Valerie hadn’t left the room...

  Valerie.

  My Valerie.

  My Val...

  Chapter 34

  Valerie was behind the reception desk waiting for Jennifer to leave Ryan’s room. Doctor Tyler had been gone for a while but she’d decided to stay at the desk, since she wasn’t on duty and wasn’t needed in the ER for another hour or so. A part of her wanted to go back into Ryan’s room and shoo Jennifer away, but the rational part of her knew she had to give them time to sort things out.

  She was sipping a cappuccino she’d bought from the vending machine and chatting with the nurse on duty about a new beauty salon that had opened not far away, when an alarm went off. She looked at the screen at the same moment the nurse told her it was Ryan’s, and her blood went cold. She dropped the empty cup on the floor, told the nurse to take the emergency trolley and ran to his room.

  She almost collided with Jennifer, who was running out, calling for help, and she fought the urge to push her out of the way. The nurse rolled the emergency trolley past her and asked her to leave the room. Jennifer didn’t say a word and moved away, leaving them to do their job. Valerie looked at Ryan. His eyes were closed and his breath came in short gasps.

  “Ryan, can you hear me?” she said, close to his ear, while she started compression. She was having a hard time breathing normally, her own breath coming in puffs too. “I’m here, Ryan, it’s okay. You’ll be fine, I promise.”

  The nurse injected adrenaline, and Valerie kept pressing on his chest in an attempt to keep his heart beating while waiting for the medicine to work.

  “You’re not going anywhere. You’re not going anywhere without me,” she said over and over, while rhythmically pressing her hands on his chest.

  He was unconscious for only a few more seconds and when he abruptly opened his eyes, gasping for air, she stopped compression and wiped her forehead with the back of her hand. Sweat trickled down the side of her face and all along her spine. For some endless moments she thought this was it, that she’d lose him this time.

  “You’re back.” The words left her throat in a whisper, as if she was saying them to reassure herself more than him. She plopped on the chair next to his bed and took his hand. “Please, Ryan. Stop giving me a fright every other minute. My own heart can’t take any more of this.”

  The nurse checked the monitor and the IV, then looked at Valerie.

  “It’s okay. I’ll stay with him for a moment. You can go, now.”

  The nurse nodded and pushed the trolley out of the room, pulling the door closed behind her.

  “What happened?” he whispered, a moment after the nurse had left. He looked up at Valerie, his eyes slightly unfocused.

  “Your blood pressure skyrocketed, and your heart was still too weak to endure it.” She smiled as she said the words, her eyes never leaving his. “But we’ve caught you just in time. Again.”

  “I owe you,” he whispered, attempting a smile.

  “Yeah. Big time now,” she said with a grin. “Dinner, shopping in a fancy boutique, and a weekend somewhere nice and luxurious: I think that should be enough to pay me back.”

  He chuckled and coughed a couple of times before speaking.

  “Fair enough,” he said, closing his eyes for a moment. When he opened them again, she saw the familiar twinkle of mischief in them. “Although... I think the medical charges in this hospital are a bit expensive. Remind me to choose a cheaper one next time.”

  She laughed. “You’re lucky you know me. Just think what it would’ve cost you otherwise.”

  He smiled and stared at the ceiling for a moment, then abruptly turned serious.

  “Is she still here?”

  Valerie nodded. “Do you want me to let her in?”

  He looked straight into her eyes, pain and anger had now replaced the twinkle she’d seen only a minute before. Her heart squeezed painfully.

  “I don’t want to see her anymore. Please send her away.” His voice was small and carried a lot of hurt. She’d never let that woman near him again, if it was the last thing she did.

  She nodded, squeezing his hand. “Don’t worry. I won’t let her in, I promise. Just be quiet now—you have to rest.” She let go of his hand and fixed the nasal cannula in his nose to make sure it was positioned properly. “I can’t always drop everything else to come rescue you. It’s usually the prince who saves the damsel in distress, not the other way around!”

  He smiled. “I’ll rest now. I promise I won’t bother you anymore, Doc.”

  She tucked the blanket and checked the IV, turning back one last time before closing the door behind her. His eyes were closed and he looked peaceful.

  “Is he okay? Can I see him now?” Jennifer rushed to Valerie as soon as she left Ryan’s room.

  “He’s okay, but he has to rest.” Valerie looked up from the clipboard she was holding, straight into Jennifer’s eyes. “And he’s made it clear he doesn’t want to see you anymore. Seeing as I’m his doctor, I think it best if you left now.”

  Jennifer glared. “I have to see him.”

  “As long as he’s a patient in this hospital, he’s my patient, and I’ll decide who he can or cannot see,” she said, squeezing the clipboard in her hands and keeping her tone as professional as possible. “And since your presence isn’t helping him feel better, as his doctor I ask you to leave now.”

  Jennifer opened her mouth to object, but Valerie didn’t let her. “Once he gets out and his life’s no longer in danger, you’re free to do whatever you want. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”

  Valerie turned her back to her and smiled to herself. It felt so good to have the authority to send the witch on her way. She didn’t turn back until she was halfway down the corridor and, when she eventually did, Jennifer was nowhere in sight. Good. Hopefully, she’d never have to see her again.

  Chapter 35

  “Morning, Doc!”

  Ryan opened his eyes as soon as Valerie walked into the room. He was smiling and Valerie reckoned it was a good sign. She’d come up from the ER a couple of times to check on him during the night, and he was sleeping peacefully both times. She’d asked the nurse to give him something to help him sleep, after the incident with Jennifer, and he looked a lot better than he had the day before.

  “Morning to you,” she said, checking the IV and the monitor. “You look much better today. I guess you slept well?”

  He nodded. “I don’t think I’ve ever slept more soundly in my whole life. I really needed it.”

  She took the clipboard from the foot of the bed and wrote Ryan’s vital signs, then put it back in place and moved to the s
ide of his bed.

  “Everything seems okay now. If you behave for a few more days, I think we might be able to release you soon enough.”

  Ryan reached for her hand and entwined his fingers with hers. She stared at him and her heart melted. When he looked at her like that, her love for him overwhelmed her—that love she’d always thought was nothing more than friendship.

  “Want to talk about it?” she asked when he didn’t speak, knowing he would understand what she was referring to.

  “How much time have you got?” His smile was sad, not the cheeky grin she was used to. She hated seeing him like that.

  “All the time in the world. I’m off now and, as you know, I can’t leave the hospital without ending up on CNN.”

  He smiled. “Okay, then.”

  She sat on the side of the bed and held his hand in both of hers. She feared she wasn’t going to like what he was about to tell her, but he’d always listened to her and he’d been the one to offer a shoulder to cry on when she’d dumped Jake. She’d be the friend he needed—not the woman who was in love with him and who wanted him for herself.

  “I won’t bother you with all the details, but to cut it short, when you ditched me for the hospital,” he cleared his throat dramatically, “I mean, when you said you had to work, I thought I’d spend some time with Jen. I didn’t want to be alone after the exhausting European tour. But when I got there, without calling her first like I usually do, she was very surprised to see me and the reason... well...” He swallowed and inhaled deeply before he spoke again. “The reason she was surprised was because her manager was there. In her bed.”

  Valerie gasped and felt as bad as if it had happened to her. Ryan was her best friend, they were almost symbiotic at times—it was obvious she would feel his pain. The memory of the day she’d caught Jake cheating on her and the way she’d felt was as fresh as if it had happened yesterday. That stupid woman had no right to cheat on him—on the most wonderful man a woman could ever wish to be loved by.

  She was so happy she had sent Jennifer away and had been awful to her the day before. If Valerie had known what she had done, she wouldn’t have let Jennifer get in and upset Ryan.

  “She said she could explain, but what was there to explain? We had a fight and I drove away,” Ryan went on, staring at his hands. “It was raining buckets and I didn’t see the roadwork until it was too late. The next thing I know, I’m back from the dead and you’re standing by my bed.”

  “I’m sorry,” she said, and she meant it. She had never really liked Jennifer, but as long as Ryan was happy, she was happy too.

  “Don’t be. I should’ve seen it coming. It happened twice before, but she always said it was all a misunderstanding, and I believed her. I believed her because it seemed so incredible that a woman like her could like a guy like me and—”

  “A guy like you?” she cut in, anger squeezing her stomach at the way he underestimated himself because of that woman. “What do you mean, a guy like you? You’re a great musician, an attractive man, and you’re good, funny and loving. She should have known better than to cheat on a wonderful person like you.”

  He looked at her with a grin. “So you think I’m attractive, huh?”

  Valerie rolled her eyes but couldn’t hide her smile. Maybe she should’ve been more careful about her choice of words, but she’d been so upset, she hadn’t been able to hold her tongue. She’d always thought she’d been immune to his charm, but now that she’d realized her true feelings for him, she wondered if that had ever been true. She’d always revolved around him like the Earth around the sun, so maybe she’d pretended not to see he’d been her one and only all along.

  “Although I’m a little hurt that’s all you’ve grasped out of my speech, I’d have to be blind not to see you’ve turned into a fine-looking man.”

  “I was wondering how long it would take you to realize what a hunk I am.”

  Valerie swatted his thigh and he grinned. “Don’t let it get to your head now. I was only stating a fact. Besides, we’ve always been honest with each other, and I’m not going to start lying now. I mean what I said: she was a fool to throw away what she had. I never said anything before, but even though I’d never met her in person until yesterday, I’ve never really liked her. I always thought she wasn’t good enough for you.”

  “Yeah, I know. It kinda showed, even though you never said it out loud.” He squeezed her hand, and Valerie looked away, feeling a little ashamed for being busted. “I guess I should’ve asked for your advice, I should’ve talked more about her with you. You know, get a female point of view on the relationship. It would’ve saved me so much trouble.”

  “Don’t be too hard on yourself. It must be difficult to trust people when you’re famous,” she said, staring down at their intertwined fingers and wishing she could find the courage to tell him the way she felt for him, to tell him she loved him for the person he was, not for his money or his fame. After all, she’d loved him from the first day she met him—even though at the time she didn’t know it. “It’s hard to tell why they’re really hanging out with you.”

  He rubbed circles with his thumb on the back of her hand, like he had so many times in nearly seventeen years, but this time Valerie felt different. His touch warmed her from the inside out and something fluttered in her chest, moving down to her belly. She wanted to feel his arms around her, to lose herself in his warm embrace and feel his heart beat against her ear. She wanted to be the one to mend his broken heart and shattered confidence, the one who’d show him how perfect they’d be together—not only as best friends, but as a couple, too. He was the man of her dreams, but she was scared that if she told him so and he didn’t feel the same, she’d lose him as a friend. Was she ready to run the risk?

  Being with Ryan had always given her the strength to face any obstacle on her way, but now that she had to make this life-changing choice all by herself, without any help from her friend, she felt like the insecure teenager she’d been before he entered her life.

  No. Now wasn’t the time to come clean and tell him her real feelings, especially not now that his breakup was still fresh. She needed to think this through very carefully, analyze her options, find the right words and most importantly brace herself for his reaction.

  “No, you can never trust anyone.” Ryan said, shaking his head and staring at their hands. “They all have a hidden agenda, one way or another. I was just too blind to see she was no different.”

  He closed his eyes for a moment and inhaled deeply, needing a moment to pull the jumbled mess of his thoughts together. Air filled his lungs and realization slowly lit his brain: Valerie was right; she was so damn right. It was impossible to trust anyone when you were famous. No matter how good you thought you knew a person, they would always be with you for a purpose—be it money, popularity, or some personal advantage.

  He had never really meant to become famous; he’d never really wanted to travel around the world and play in venues in front of thousands of people, half of which probably didn’t even care about his music. All he’d ever wanted was to make good music, to write his own songs, like the ones he’d written for Valerie, and to play the piano. He never would have thought, when that guy from the record company had approached him at Berklee, that his life would turn out to be a living hell.

  He had made more money than he would’ve made had he pursued a simple career as a teacher or a pianist in a club, and it would be disrespectful to complain about that. But in the few days he’d spent stuck in that hospital bed, he had come to realize that all he had achieved so far was nothing at all.

  His manager had done some good marketing work, but what did Ryan really have now? He never had a say on what he liked or what he didn’t, on which songs he wanted to perform and which he didn’t. He had to drive around in cars with tinted windows to make sure nobody would see him and stop the car. He could never go out with a girl without ending up on the front cover of some tabloids.

  Ryan was
making the life of every person he loved a disaster. Even now, lying in a hospital bed, he was giving Valerie a hard time, causing her to spend days and nights in there to avoid getting mobbed by reporters.

  It can’t go on like this.

  The thought was clear in his mind like never before. He couldn’t bear it anymore. It was time he did what his heart told him was right; this decision was long overdue.

  “I’m so sick of all this, Val.” He let out a tired breath and stared at the blue sky outside the window. The white, fluffy clouds reminded him of Dublin in spring and how he’d walk around the city holding hands with Valerie—he missed those happy days so badly now. “It was cool for a while, but it soon lost the gleam. I’ve always wanted to be a musician because I love music, not because I want to make a hell of a lot of money from it. I never wanted to be a celebrity. I was always surrounded by a million people, but I always felt alone. I’ve never felt so alone in my life as in the last five years.”

  He sighed again, and Valerie squeezed his hand. He looked at her, and found understanding and an awful lot of love in her aquamarine eyes. He knew right then that, whatever his decision, Valerie would stand by him and support him all the way. She would never think he was a spoiled celebrity who couldn’t make up his mind about what he wanted, nor would she think he was a failure. Valerie would never leave him.

  “I’ve had a lot of time to think about it while I was stuck in here, and I’ve made a decision: I want to get in touch with Berklee College and see if they’d offer me a job as a teacher. It would be nice to help guys who love music pursue their dreams, you know, the way my teachers helped me. It would have a meaning, it would be something useful and worthwhile—just like your job.”

  She didn’t say a word and for a moment there he feared she wouldn’t agree with his decision. He frowned, and wet his bottom lip with his tongue, seeing as his mouth had suddenly become as parched as if he hadn’t had a drop of water in years. Her gaze dropped to his lips for just a tiny second, and a cute blush pinked her cheeks. She looked away.