‘Who are you?’
‘Thanks for your help,’ Edie said.
‘Tell me your name. You’re not from London, I can tell from your accent.’
Edie was already at the front door.
‘Tell me your name.’
Edie opened the door. The woman reached from behind and tried to push it shut. Edie used both hands to pull it open enough for her to jump outside.
‘I know who you are,’ the woman said.
Edie’s legs felt weak. She had to force them to move and take her away from the house.
‘I know who you are,’ the woman shouted. ‘You look like her.’
The woman followed her down the drive.
‘What did you come here for? She got what she deserved.’
Edie kept going until she reached the main road. She turned to see if the woman was still following her. She wasn’t there and the drive wasn’t visible from where she stood. Her legs were shaking and barely held her upright. She grabbed onto a lamp post for support. Sickness overwhelmed her. She tipped forwards and threw up. A woman walking a toddler yanked the child away.
‘Bloody disgusting this time of day,’ she said.
Edie squatted down. She thought she was going to faint. She had to consciously push air in and out of her lungs until the nausea lessened, then used the lamp post to pull herself back to her feet.
The woman wasn’t lying. It all fitted too neatly to be a lie. Her anger was real and raw and Edie’s matched it. Mum had left them. Deliberately. Left them with Dad and a house filled with cigarette butts and ready meals. She thought of the woman’s words.
‘Stupid bitch. Stupid, selfish bitch.’
Chapter 49
Tess: July 2018
I don’t go straight home after Raquel drops me off; instead, I head to the local park and walk the long route around it. When I reach the other side, I turn back and make another circuit. The heat has started to drain from the day, though dusk’s a long way off. Between hot and cool, between day and dusk, I hate it. It makes me restless.
The insurance company Valentina works for has its number on the website. She must know about Mum and Ray. Given her hostility when I went to see her, I don’t hold out much hope but give it a go anyway.
‘Who’s calling for her, please?’
‘Tess Piper. It’s important.’
There’s a pause, fast whispering in the background.
‘Please don’t call this number again and if you’re found on the premises, we’ll call security.’
The line goes dead.
That bloody bitch. What is wrong with her? Threatening to set security on me, as if I were some escapee from Broadmoor.
I make two more circuits of the park. By now, the light’s fading and I’m bored. It’s a short walk up from the main road to the mini-roundabout next to Dad’s street. A car slows behind me and beeps. I think it might be Jem. I turn and see Ray’s Mercedes. The window opens. I lean down and get a blast from the air conditioning inside. Despite the cold air, Ray’s shirt is half unbuttoned and his hairline moist with sweat.
‘Get in,’ he says.
Ray’s my uncle and I’ve known him my whole life but I feel like a small child being lured into a stranger’s car. I hesitate.
‘Tess, I’m holding up the traffic.’
I climb in. Ray pulls away without indicating and gets honked. I expect him to turn right towards home. Instead, he turns left and pulls over.
His face is hot and he grips the steering wheel with both hands.
‘What the hell are you playing at, Tess?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Don’t play stupid. Tell me what’s going on.’
Ray’s never spoken to me harshly before. It intensifies the feeling that he’s a stranger. But then Edie was always his favourite. I’ve only ever been a poor substitute. A role I’ve been happy with until now.
‘I’ve got a question for you, Ray.’
‘What?’ he says.
‘Are you my father?’
Ray hits the steering wheel with the palm of his hand. A deep line runs from his forehead to his nose.
‘Is that what… of course I’m not your bloody father.’
‘How can you be sure?’
He raises his eyebrows.
‘I know the facts of life.’
‘I don’t doubt that,’ I say.
I press the down button on the window. I hate this air-conditioned cold. Ray takes a deep breath.
‘I’m sure, I’m not your father. It’s not possible,’ he says.
I don’t respond. He’s a good liar. If I hadn’t known he’d had years of practice, I might believe him.
‘You’re not to contact Valentina again. Do you understand me?’ he says.
‘Why are you so bothered? What do you think she’s going to tell me?’
‘You’re harassing her.’
‘Did she know about you and Mum?’
Ray hesitates.
‘I don’t know what you mean.’
‘Come on, Ray.’
I stare at him, he can’t hold my gaze.
‘It was a long time ago, all over before I got with Valentina.’
‘Did Mum know it was all over?’
‘It’s not how you think, Tess.’
‘Then why won’t you answer my questions?’
‘I’ve never lied to you.’
‘What about Edie, did you lie to her?’
He doesn’t answer at first then says, ‘She was too young to understand.’
‘To understand what?’
He sighs.
‘About Gina and me.’
‘I’m not a child, Ray.’
‘I don’t know what you want me to say. I loved her. She loved me.’
‘And?’
He shakes his head and releases the steering wheel.
‘You know, me and your dad, you wouldn’t believe our childhoods. We grew up in a slum. Limewoods would have been luxury. All those old houses have been knocked down long ago: outside taps, sharing a toilet with eight other families, rats running everywhere, going hungry cos your grandfather drank all his wages.’
‘What’s this got to do with anything?’
‘What I’m trying to tell you is when you’re offered wealth on a plate, wealth you could never earn for yourself, even if you worked for a hundred years and all you have to do is …’
‘Marry the boss’s daughter.’ I shake my head, ‘I never took you for such a cliché, Ray.’
‘Becca’s dad, Roger, suggested it. He knew he was dying. He was worried about Becca. She’d never worked, had no idea how the business was run. He didn’t let her have boyfriends and she couldn’t look after herself.’
‘Daddy’s little girl,’ I say.
‘Things aren’t always as they seem.’
‘This is exactly as it seems.’
‘Becca always liked me. I was just a labourer on the sites at first, then I became foreman, thanks to Becca, I think. I was too young to be a foreman. She used to come out to the sites just to talk to me. She was so young, she hadn’t finished school. I never thought anything of it, until Roger said about his illness and the company. It was too easy and I was stupid. I thought Gina would understand. I thought I could have them both.’
‘You’re right, you were stupid.’
‘Gina wouldn’t speak to me. Next thing I knew she was engaged to Vince. What could I say?’
‘Did Dad know about you two?’
‘Of course.’
‘Then why?’
‘She was different, your mum. I remember the first time I saw her, I asked her if she was from Brazil; it was the most beautiful and exotic place I could think of. Vince was too shy to talk to her, but I know he felt the same. She had so much life about her.’
‘Until she killed herself.’
‘That nearly killed me too, Tess. It was a bad time. I came close to losing my mind. Becca pulled me through. She’s strong, your aunt. People
think she’s all about frills and china cups. There’s more to her than that.’
‘Did you keep seeing Mum after she married?’
‘No.’
He’s lying.
‘And the other women?’
Ray pauses.
‘I know what you think of me, Tess, but things are complicated. Becca had, I don’t know how to say it… she had problems. She took Valium for years. Thank God she’s off that. But it meant we were never close, physically I mean. And Valentina was, well, she was just there.’
‘How many other women were just there?’
He spreads his palms.
‘None of them meant anything. Gina should have known that. It’s only because Valentina fell pregnant that things got out of hand. She turned up at the office with a suitcase. What could I do? I found her somewhere to live and looked after the boy.’
‘Your son.’
‘Yes, my son.’
His face is set hard.
‘What’s happened to him? Valentina said he’s in a home.’
Ray nods.
‘He has a degenerative condition. Had it since birth. He won’t live much longer.’
‘Do you love him?’
‘I care for him as best I can. There’s not a lot anyone can do.’
There’s a hardness to Ray no one knows, because he’s fun and friendly. He doesn’t love his wife or son and still everyone thinks he’s wonderful.
‘Is it hereditary, whatever he’s got?’
‘You’re not worried, are you, Tess?’
‘Should I be?’
‘I don’t know. Maybe if you have children.’
‘Not exactly on the cards.’
He looks across the car bonnet, his eyes unfocused.
‘I always loved you and Edie, more than Thomas. And no, not because I thought you were mine.’
‘You loved Edie,’ I said.
‘And you, Tess.’
‘Not like you loved her.’
‘You sound like Becca; she always thought we were too close. She was nearly as jealous as you.’
‘I wasn’t jealous.’
Ray raises his eyebrows but doesn’t contradict me. I don’t remember being jealous of Ray. Michaela yes, but not Ray.
‘How long have you known?’ Ray asks.
‘I only just pieced it together. I was never as smart as Edie.’
‘And now you hate me?’
The strange thing is, I don’t.
‘I think Edie must have found out about the baby somehow and told Mum.’
‘She saw Valentina in the park with me.’
Ray brings his hands to his face.
‘I thought Gina would grow to love Vince.’
‘She did,’ I say.
‘He never made her happy.’
‘And you did?’
‘No. Neither of us did and she punished me. I saw the whole thing.’
‘You were the other witness, the man who was running after her and disappeared?’
‘She confronted me about Valentina. We were just talking and she ran off into the road. Gina looked at me. She ran out in front of the truck and turned back to look at me. To make me suffer. And I have, believe me, I’ve suffered.’
‘You put those lilies on her grave,’ I say.
He nods. For a moment I feel sorry for him, this man who drove my mother to her death.
‘Was it guilt that made you give Dad a job and pay for us to go to JAGS?’
‘No. I always wanted to do that. Gina wouldn’t let me. Vince was easier to persuade.’
‘Dad’s always been easy to persuade.’
We sit in silence. It’s dark enough now for cars to have their lights on. The beams swirl around us. Ray turns to me.
‘You won’t say anything to Vince, will you?’
I think of the pain on Dad’s face when he talks about Mum and Edie.
‘No,’ I say.
‘Good, I’ll drop you home.’
‘I can walk.’
I open the door and get out.
‘Bye, Ray.’
‘Bye. And if you’ve got any more questions come to me, not Valentina.’
I turn and lean on the door frame.
‘I do have something to ask.’
‘What?’
‘Why was Valentina so scared of me?’
Ray draws breath.
‘I don’t know. Maybe it was just surprise.’
‘That’s not the reason, Ray.’
I push myself upright and shut the door. Ray presses a button and the window slides up. I walk back to Dad’s. If that’s who he is, my dad.
Chapter 50
Edie: April 1998
‘Are you still seeing what’s-his-name?’ Edie asked.
‘Paul? No. Got someone else, Nev,’ Raquel said.
‘And?’
‘He’s alright, I suppose.’
They were seated in McDonald’s in the town centre, drinking diet coke through a straw. She always met Raquel away from the estate now. She didn’t want to go back to Limewoods.
Today they’d been shopping together. She’d told Tess she was meeting Michaela. That stopped her wanting to come.
Raquel had her first boyfriend three years ago. At fourteen she must be an expert and Edie wanted to know about them. She felt lost with Bob. She didn’t understand him. Raquel was bound to have some idea.
‘I’m kind of seeing someone,’ Edie said.
‘That skinny boy who follows you around?’
Raquel had spotted Max the last time they met.
‘Of course not,’ Edie said. ‘This is someone different. Bob.’
‘Bob? No one’s called Bob any more. Is he fifty?’
Edie laughed.
‘No. I think it’s a nickname.’
‘For what?’
‘Not sure.’
She waited for Raquel to ask her something else about him, but she was more interested in swirling the remains of her diet coke and ice round the bottom of her cup. The problem was that Raquel assumed Edie had had loads of boyfriends. Apparently, everyone knew JAGS were boy-mad and the second you arrived they lined up to take you out. If only. Edie had never told Raquel this wasn’t true because she didn’t want to admit she knew nothing about boys.
‘He’s a bit older,’ Edie said.
‘You need to watch out then.’
Watch out for what? Why couldn’t Raquel tell her plainly?
‘I’m seeing him tonight.’
‘Yeah?’ Raquel slurped on her diet coke. ‘You gonna get that top then?’
Edie let it drop. Raquel wasn’t interested.
‘I’ll go back and get it,’ Edie said. ‘By the way, you were right, Raq.’
‘About what?’
‘My mum.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘About suicide.’
‘I never said that,’ Raquel said.
‘Your mum said she was unhappy.’
‘What does your dad say?’
‘Nothing. Uncle Ray said it was Nathan Bexley’s fault.’
‘That’s probably how he sees it.’
‘I guess so.’
Edie sucked hard on the straw. There was something else she needed to ask Raquel, something that had been swirling at the back of her mind and recently surfaced.
‘Do you remember once, you asked me if I knew why my mum and dad got married?’
‘No,’ Raquel said.
She didn’t look at Edie and she was sure it was a lie.
‘You did.’
‘Can’t remember,’ Raquel said.
‘Why would you say something like that?’
‘Dunno. I told you, I can’t remember.’
‘I could ask your mum.’
‘Don’t,’ Raquel said. She put her coke down and stared at Edie. ‘You can’t. She’s ill.’
‘What’s wrong with her?’ Edie asked.
She liked Mrs McCann, despite her gossiping.
‘Not sure, she’s going
in for tests. You can’t talk to her.’
‘Then tell me why you said it.’
Raquel fiddled with her straw.
‘It’s just more stuff Mum comes out with. I don’t know if it’s true. It’s something she told me once. I think she’d had a couple of sherries, because when I asked her again she wouldn’t repeat it.’
‘Repeat what?’
‘Are you sure you wanna know?’
Edie wasn’t sure. Wouldn’t it have been better if she’d never known the truth about Nathan Bexley? She should get up, leave and forget she’d ever asked. But she knew she wasn’t going to do any of those things.
‘Tell me.’
‘She said your mum and uncle Ray used to go out together.’
Edie waited. Raquel fiddled with her straw some more.
‘And Ray married Becca because her father gave him the business.’
‘That doesn’t explain why Mum married Dad.’
‘Mum said it was the next best thing.’
Raquel wasn’t lying now. She looked nervous, as if Edie was going to get angry with her.
‘That doesn’t make sense. You don’t marry someone’s brother because he’s gone off with someone else. And Mum could have had anyone she wanted.’
‘Yeah, you’re right.’
Raquel didn’t sound convinced.
‘I think your mum got it wrong,’ Edie said.
‘Probably. You know, that top really suited you. We should go back before it’s gone.’
Raquel slurped down the last of her drink and tossed it into the bin on the way out. Edie followed her.
Mum and Uncle Ray together. It wasn’t possible. Raquel’s mum was a gossip. A lovely lady but a gossip. The guy at Irregular Records said that Uncle Ray went to dances with a girl called Gina. It must be a coincidence, Gina’s a common enough name. She didn’t believe it. She’d not think about it again.
The memory of Mum and Uncle Ray dancing together in the front room of the old house came to her. They were sharing jokes and laughing. No, Edie thought, it’s not possible. I won’t believe it. She wandered out of McDonalds in a daze and was only brought to her senses by Raquel’s elbow digging her in the ribs.
‘Hey, look. It’s that boy again.’
Edie looked in the direction Raquel was pointing, just in time to see Max’s green parka disappear into a doorway.
Chapter 51
Tess: July 2018
Dad’s not home when I get in. I wonder if he’s out looking for me, Ray probably called him. The lounge curtains are drawn. I pull them back and open the patio doors to lift the smell of stale smoke, a little pointless as it’s interwoven with the furniture and carpets.
Someone You Know Page 25