by Laura Scott
“Her pulse is still irregular. I’m double-checking the vent settings but get the defib ready.”
“It’s ready.” Shelly’s own heart began to beat faster as she confirmed lead placement, then hit the charge button, just in case.
Jared’s expression of deep concern, without a hint of arrogance, forced her to acknowledge he was an amazing physician. She stared at Amy’s pale, yet perfectly formed features. Her son’s face held the same sweet innocence.
Doubt plagued her. If Tyler’s next set of testing proved he was suffering from renal failure, could she continue to handle working with sick children?
Or would she constantly imagine her son’s face transposed on the features of every child she transported?
2
Jared was secretly amazed at how easy it was to work with Shelly. She anticipated what he needed before he had to ask for it. Clearly, she was exceptionally bright or very experienced, although she didn’t appear old enough for the latter.
They worked together, fighting to stabilize Amy’s condition. When Amy’s heart began showing signs of irregularity, he used his radio to connect with the ED physician waiting for them at Children’s Memorial. “I’m requesting a hot unload.”
“Understood.”
Within five minutes, thanks to a nice tailwind, the helicopter hovered, then landed with the grace of a dove. Jared barely noticed Reese’s expertise, his gaze glued to the heart monitor to watch the irregular heartbeats.
“Core temp still low at thirty-two point six,” Shelly informed him as they prepared to unload their young patient.
One-tenth of a degree wasn’t going to cut it. Jared tucked the thermal blanket tighter around Amy as the medical team grasped the edges of the gurney lifting it from the chopper and springing the wheels so they could roll it on the ground.
They rushed Amy inside the ER, the closest trauma bay open and waiting for them. Stepping back to let the ER team take over wasn’t easy, but their role in Amy’s care was just about over.
He reported the medications and treatments they gave Amy to the ER doctor on staff. When he finished, he glanced at Shelly but found her attention riveted to Amy’s pale face, her expression full of grave concern. He wondered what was going through her mind since they’d managed to get Amy here without any major catastrophe during the flight. Amy was looking a little more stable, less irregular heartbeats, but Shelly looked as if she’d lost her best friend.
Why did he have this insatiable need to know intimate details about Shelly? Obsessing over his flying partner, his subordinate, if he were to get technical, wasn’t smart. He resented the way Shelly so easily replaced his brother’s fiancée in his thoughts. Finding Leigh was more important than satisfying his curiosity about Shelly’s personal life.
The ER team swarmed Amy, and within the next few minutes, the ER doc announced they had a PICU bed for her. Moments later, they wheeled Amy away.
A glance at Shelly confirmed she appeared as forlorn as he felt.
“She’ll be fine,” he assured her, touching her arm gently. “Our job is done here.”
“I know. It’s just that this is the hardest part of the job, handing the care of our patients over and walking away.”
Jared silently agreed.
They returned to the chopper to find Reese waiting patiently. “All set?” Reese asked, an unspoken question in his eyes.
Shelly nodded. “Yeah, she’s doing okay. They’ve taken her to the pediatric ICU.”
“Good to hear,” Reese said with a grin. “Ready to head back?”
“You bet.” Shelly climbed in first, leaving Jared to follow.
Jared knew government privacy rules prevented them from giving their pilot specific details about the patients they transported, but it felt wrong. The little girl wouldn’t have gotten here without the pilot’s help.
He took his seat, bumping elbows again with Shelly. The way she curled in on herself made him frown. Did she abhor his touch? Distracted by her lavender scent that reached him despite the jet fuel being so close caused him to fumble with the shoulder harness.
Listening to the sounds of Reese speaking to the tower helped calm his nerves. He didn’t understand why he was so aware of Shelly, but it had to stop. There were far more important things for him to do.
Like finding Leigh Wilson and her child.
Shelly turned to look out the window, telling herself it was important to keep an eye out for bird strikes. In reality, she was doing her best to ignore the tall, broad-shouldered man beside her.
After years of living in a deep freeze, her nerve endings had come leaping to life. Not for a nice guy like Reese, a man who wasn’t her boss and didn’t share the last name of Tyler’s father. Oh no, it had to be this man beside her who created tingles of awareness rippling over her skin.
Tough beans, she told herself firmly. Get a grip. She wasn’t interested, and even if she was, Ty needed stability. She’d given her unborn child a promise a long time ago. Tyler would not grow up with a series of “uncles” in his life. Every second of free time she had would be spent with him.
Her unruly hormones would just have to get over it.
There weren’t any other calls over the rest of her shift, an unusually slow day when she normally preferred to be busy. At quitting time, she drove to her babysitter’s house to pick up Ty. Ellen was putting toys away in the playroom when she arrived.
“How are you, big guy?” Shelly laughed when Tyler launched himself at her.
“Mommy!” His arms clamped firmly around her neck, but she didn’t mind. She closed her eyes and clutched him tight, burying her face against his hair, reveling in the sweet crayon scent of childhood innocence.
She loved him so much. Tears pricked her eyelids as she thought about his upcoming medical tests. Please, please let him be okay.
“Did you fly today?” All too soon, her son wiggled in her arms, indicating he wanted down. Reluctantly, she loosened her grip and set him on his feet.
“Yep. I flew today, just once, though.” Even at his young age, Ty was fascinated by her job. He claimed he could see her in the bright blue helicopter high in the sky and always waved at her as they flew over.
“Cool. I’m gonna be the pilot one day.”
“You sure are,” Ellen agreed as she picked up her toddler daughter Emma and took a hold of her son Alex’s hand as they walked back to the kitchen. “You’ll be a great pilot, Ty.”
“Me, too,” Alex added with a pout.
“Of course, sweetie. You, too,” Ellen agreed.
“How was he today?” Shelly asked.
“Great.” When Shelly narrowed her gaze, Ellen shrugged and hitched her daughter higher on her hip. “Okay, the usual. Alex and Ty had fun fighting over their toys, while Emma tried to keep up with them. The good news is that no blood was spilled and they made up.”
“A good day, then.” Shelly thanked her lucky stars she’d met Ellen when they’d both been in the hospital giving birth at the same time. Shelly had been fretting over child care, and Ellen had commented on how she wanted to quit her job to stay home and wouldn’t mind a little extra income from babysitting. Uncertain at first, Shelly had soon met Jeff, Ellen’s husband, who had wholeheartedly agreed with the idea. For five years Ellen had faithfully watched Ty, and within the last two weeks, the two kids had begun attending full-day kindergarten together. Shelly was sure the break was a welcome one for Ellen.
“Okay, Ty, say goodbye to Alex and Emma. It’s time to go.”
“Bye, Alex! Bye, Emma!” Tyler waved enthusiastically.
“See you tomorrow,” Ellen said as they left.
“You gotta work again tomorrow?” Ty asked in dismay, wiggling as she buckled him into his child safety seat.
“Last day this week.” Shelly shut the door and slid in behind the wheel. She counted herself fortunate to be able to work three twelve-hour shifts in a week, leaving four full days to spend with her son. One week, she worked day shifts and the fol
lowing week, nights. Her body didn’t like the night rotation, but less time away from Ty was better for him, so she embraced the schedule.
“Awww,” Tyler whined.
“Don’t make that long face at me.” She eyed her son in the rearview mirror. “On my days off all you want to do is go to Alex’s house to play.”
“’Cause Alex is my best friend,” Ty announced. “We have the same birthday.”
Shelly’s smile dimmed, and she wondered what would happen to Ty’s friendship with Alex if he was diagnosed with kidney failure.
She gave herself a mental shake, telling herself to snap out of it. She’d been in tough situations before and always found a way to manage. She’d figure it out this time, too.
Those dark days after she’d run from Boston hadn’t haunted her for a long time. Fighting severe morning sickness, while trying to finish her nursing degree, while working full time to save money had caused those endless days to blur together in a fog.
Remembering that difficult time of her life ironically cheered her up. She and Ty had managed just fine. Nothing could get between them now. Especially not some stupid illness. Whatever came of Tyler’s diagnostic tests, she’d deal with it.
Ellen had fed Tyler with her kids, so she spent the next hour bathing Ty, reading him a bedtime story, and putting him to bed. When the story was over, Tyler knelt at the side of his bed to say his prayers.
“God bless Mrs. Ellen, Alex, Emma, and my daddy in heaven, Amen.”
Shelly smiled gently as her son bounced into bed. “Good night, Ty.” She pulled the covers up and tucked them under his little pointy chin. “Sleep tight, don’t let the bedbugs bite.”
He giggled as he always did at the silly cliché. “Night, Mommy.”
Once again, Shelly had trouble turning off her brain to fall asleep. Her fingers itched to search the internet for more information about renal failure, but honestly, she already knew more than she wanted to.
Instead, she pulled out her journal and picked up a pen. At times like this, it helped to get her thoughts down on paper and out of her head, where they tended to whirl incessantly until she thought she’d go crazy.
Mark, I’m so worried about Ty. This single parenting stuff is hard enough without adding a serious illness to the mix. I don’t think anyone other than a parent can understand how difficult this is. I’ve read about pediatric kidney disease, and it’s all so frightening. Tyler could actually die, Mark. Our sweet little boy could die. And even if he doesn’t, I can’t imagine putting him through special diets, dialysis needles, and other painful procedures. He’s just a little boy. He should be running and playing, not spending day upon day at the hospital.
Did you have trouble with bladder infections as a child? Did your parents? It’s times like this that I really resent you leaving me alone. I want answers, no matter how unreasonable that sounds. What if he needs a kidney transplant? The thought of anything happening to our son makes me cry. I’m dripping tears on this as I write.
I’ve accepted the fact that we were never meant to be, even though Ty’s illness has made me wonder about you and your family. I’m doing my best not to wallow in the past. Ty is my future. If you were here, I’d lean on you for support, but you’re not. All I have is my internal stubbornness and determination.
Traits that I know used to drive you crazy. It’s a small comfort to know they’re working for me now.
Shelly.
Jared immediately noticed the dark circles beneath Shelly’s eyes when she entered the debriefing room the next morning. Granted, 0700 was early, but Shelly barely said good morning, before helping herself to a cup of coffee and sliding into a seat off to the side, far away from everyone.
He frowned, his instincts screaming at him that something was wrong. Late last night, he’d reviewed the notes Frank Holmes had left regarding the Lifeline employees. Shelly’s file was thin, she’d been a pediatric nurse for almost four years and had been flying for the past two.
Her emergency contact was listed as Mrs. Ellen Cooley, and the relationship was friend. He assumed that meant Shelly had no husband, although he knew there could be an ex in the picture.
What had happened last night? He wished he knew Shelly well enough to ask, but he didn’t. Sipping his coffee, he listened to the transport details that the team had done overnight.
As soon as the debriefing was over, Shelly disappeared. He remembered finding her in the lounge yesterday morning, her eyes closed and brackets of concern tugging at her mouth. Maybe whatever was bothering her wasn’t a new thing. He moved in that direction, but his name stopped him.
“Jared? Phone call for you. Says it’s important.”
He glanced over his shoulder. “Okay, I’ll take it in my office.” Cutting through the lounge, he entered his office and picked up the phone. “Hello?”
“Jared.” His mother’s tearful voice flowed over the line. “Your father’s heart is getting worse. The doctors say that it’s only pumping at thirty percent.”
A lump of concrete hardened in his gut. He closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. He’d known his father had heart disease, he’d already gone through one open-heart procedure. But apparently his father had taken a turn for the worse.
“Did they recommend any other tests?”
“No. They said there’s nothing more they can do. He’s not a candidate for more surgery.” His mother’s voice broke, and she began to sob. “Oh, Jared, what am I going to do?”
“Please, Mom, don’t cry.” Yet Jared couldn’t blame her, his throat tightened, and a throbbing headache settled behind his eyes. He forced himself to sound calm. “Dad may not be able to have surgery, but his condition isn’t hopeless, yet. Lots of people live with only thirty percent ejection fraction.”
He could hear his mother struggling to get herself under control. “I know, I’m sorry. I’m just so worried. I wish you could come home, Jared, at least for a few days. Please?”
Familiar guilt slammed into him. He swallowed hard. “I’ve only been here a few days, but I’ll see what I can do. Tell Dad I’ll call him later. I’ll call his doctor, too.”
His mother blew her nose on the other end of the connection. “I understand. I know your work is important.”
Jared sighed and rubbed his temple. “It’s not just work, Mom. I told you I’m trying to find her.”
He didn’t have to explain further, his mother knew exactly who he was searching for. “Oh, Jared. Do you think it’s possible? After all these years?”
“I don’t know. The PI confirmed Leigh’s family lived here in Milwaukee and that she was last seen here. I plan to pick up the investigation where he left off. That idiot PI didn’t care as much about finding Leigh as I do.” Jared scowled, ticked that the PI had continued to take his father’s money despite making absolutely no progress on the case. From what he could tell, the guy had done nothing for the past two years.
Two years out of six wasted on that jerk.
His mother’s voice brightened. “Well, then. You’ll call us when you have news?”
“I promise. Now try to stay strong. Dad needs you.”
His mother promised, then disconnected from the call. He dropped his head in his hands, overwhelmed by a feeling of hopelessness. He knew his father’s health wasn’t good, but this latest news brought a new sense of urgency.
He needed to find Leigh Wilson and her child soon. His dad deserved to see his only grandchild in the short time he had left.
“Jared?” A familiar husky female voice interrupted his thoughts. A soft hand dropped onto his shoulder, squeezing gently. “Are you okay?”
He lifted his head, surprised to see Shelly standing there, looking at him with concern. Her small hand radiated warmth through the fabric of his flight suit, and he reached up to cover it with his.
“Not really.” He surprised himself by blurting the truth. “I just got a call from home about my dad’s heart failure. According to my mom, there isn’t anything more the
y can do for him.”
“I’m sorry.” Shelly didn’t pull away from his touch, and his pulse skipped with awareness. “Maybe you should take a few days off and fly home.”
Jared almost laughed at her words, an echo of his mother’s. The light pressure of her hand grounded him. He brushed his thumb over the satiny smoothness of her hand. “Thanks, but it’s not that bad, at least, not yet.”
“Maybe not, but it can’t be easy for you to be here, so many miles away.” She subtly slipped her hand from his, and he instantly regretted the loss.
He tilted his head to look at her. “You sound as if you’re speaking from experience.”
Her expression clouded, and she took a step back. “Possibly, but I won’t know for sure until the diagnostic tests have been done.”
“Your parents?” Jared couldn’t help prying for information. At least this explained her apparent lack of sleep.
“No, my parents are dead.” Her expression closed, and Jared battled a wave of frustration. He wanted to offer his support, but she seemed determined to keep distance between them.
“I’m sorry to hear that.” Who were the important people in her life? Other than her friend, Mrs. Ellen Cooley?
“It’s okay, it happened a few years ago.” Shelly shrugged and cleared her throat. “I came to let you know I’m heading over to Children’s Memorial to do a follow up on Amy. The hospital is just across the street, and I have my pager in case we get a flight call.”
He wanted to join her, but she hadn’t offered and he felt awkward inviting himself along. Besides, he couldn’t waste any more time. He needed to find Leigh Wilson and fast. “Go ahead. Let me know how Amy and her parents are doing.”
“I will.” She gave him a curious look, and he belatedly realized she may have expected him to come along. In an instant, the expression was gone and she turned to leave.
Against his will, his gaze clung to her curvy figure, flatteringly displayed in her flight suit. Pulling himself together, he did his best to ignore the emptiness of his office after Shelly left.