“No, nothing like that.” He searched the corpse and found the key to the cell.
“You going to let me out?”
Zack smirked at her. “What are you offering?”
Her face darkened. “How about I don’t kick you in the balls then use your own shield to bash your ugly male face in with?”
Charming. “Not a very good negotiator, are you? You’re lucky I need you.”
“For what? I have better things to do than have another male pig as a companion.”
He unlocked the cell, then stepped back. Anita studied him, wearing nothing more than a dirty cowl and robe. “Move back a bit further so I can loot this guy for some equipment.”
Zack considered arguing, but decided she needed equipment far more than he did. Had he not needed her, who knows, maybe he would have fought her over it, but right now, an extra piece of gear wasn’t going to make much difference.
He felt his eyes widen as Anita ripped off her clothes and started equipping the man’s armor. Unlike the man who was armored head to toe in mail, the armor on Anita turned into a sexy, metal bikini.
Zack couldn’t help but admire her ripped body. Muscled, firm and glistening with a warrior’s sweat. Her light-brown-green skin didn’t at all detract from her beauty. Instead, it enhanced it in some way.
Anita spat at his feet. “Stop objectifying me with your male gaze.”
Zack rolled his eyes. “If you didn’t want me to look, why get undressed in front of me?” Damn, that nose ring is kind of hot too!
She shoved on the mail gauntlets. “Maybe, I expected you to turn away, and show me some respect or maybe I expected you’d have better control over your toxic masculine desires. I know how you males think, you all have a one track mind.”
Zack shuddered as she snapped the man’s neck while tearing his helmet off. “How did you get here anyway? What happened to Ivan?”
“Say that name again, and I will rip out your guts with my bare hands then use them to hang you with.” Her eyes glared at him behind the visor of her helmet.
“Lighten up, will ya?” He refused to look away. “I just saved your life.”
She kicked the dead man and his now naked body flew across the room and slammed into the wall. “Saved me? These male scum intended to worship me.”
“Worship you?” Zack burst out laughing. “By keeping you locked up in their filthy cell, dressed in rags and gagged?”
“That’s what their type are like. They claim to be for us women, but really, they are wolves in sheep's clothing. Ivan…” She punched the wall with a sickening thud. “Fucker. If I ever see him again, I will bite off his nose, then ram it up his ass.”
“What did he do?”
“He sold me to these vermin.” She kicked the corpse again, breaking its ribs with a loud crunch. “The Guild of White Knights.”
“I didn’t know there were guilds in this game. At least there wasn’t when we were sent down here.”
Anita shrugged. “I don’t frigging know. That’s what they told me. They seemed to be a guild of incel assholes who think the best way to get laid is by pretending to care for us women.” She crushed the dead man’s skull under her boot, sending one of his eyes popping out of his head and rolling across the floor.
“Damn, he’s dead already. No need to mangle him up some more.” Zack grimaced. “I hope he doesn’t die out in the real world. Remember what they told us? How if we die down here, we die out there?”
She shrugged. “This male pig said he was from the center of the City, so who cares if his mother goes down to his basement and finds him dead inside his game-pod?”
I care.
The Janitor had said the trolls were from the center of the City too and wouldn’t die if killed in game. If that was the truth, and the Guild of White Knights were similarly from rich families, than it could be assumed they would not die either.
Now that he thought of it, what were all these rich kids doing in the Underworld anyway?
Zack moved back into the main room. “Why did your partner sell you to these men?”
Anita followed him out. “One of the white knights saw me, and told the others. They have been here in the Underworld for some time, and are well established.” She shrugged. “Maybe they offered to help Ivan get back to the surface in exchange for me or maybe they simply threatened to kill him and he offered me in exchange for his own life. In the end, does it matter? The prick betrayed me, and now I am forced to stand here looking at your butt ugly face.”
The player orc wrinkled her nose. “You’re lucky those women were programmed to love you.”
He took a step toward her, getting sick of her tone and insults. “I am not one of your male sycophants you can push around. You take a swing at me and I am going to swing back at you. I for one, think women can give as well as they get.”
To his surprise, Anita bowed her head. “I knew there was a reason I liked you. You have a fucking backbone and a brain, unlike the weebs around here.”
“Weebs?”
She looked up at him. “Don’t ask.”
As they searched the room for supplies, Zack finally told her why he was here and of the Janitor and the mission to kill the forum trolls.
Anita sat on the bed, her hand clasped around her sword hilt. “What choice do I have other than join you? I have no one to help me get to the surface, and right now, nor do you.”
“I hope to change that soon. I will stop at nothing to save Amy, Betsy and Missy.”
“You really love them, don’t you?”
He looked up from searching the storage chest sharply, expecting Anita to be mocking him. Instead, she appeared… relieved. “Yes, I love them. To me, they are as real as the people outside the game. I haven’t got much else to live for, other than my harem.”
“Love. It gets you nowhere as a woman. You exchange one male pig, your father, with another, your dutiful husband.” She stood and walked up to him. “And no, I am not some bitter and twisted woman whose husband cheated on her. I am a strong, independent woman who sees things for the way they are.”
“Right. Whatever.” Zack removed the 400 meals in the storage chest and put them in his inventory. “Are you going to join me then?”
She slammed the lid shut with a crash, her nose ring swaying. “Guess I have to, if I want to eat.”
“I’d give you food, even if you didn’t join up with me.” He paused. “Can you invite me to group?”
Anita frowned. “No, a warning comes up telling me you are already in a party. Maybe it’s because you control a misogynist harem and the women are considered to be your party members.”
Zack rolled his eyes. “I knew this might happen. There is no way for me to leave the harem group, and honestly, even if there was, I wouldn’t do it, as I’d have no idea what would happen to the three women with me.”
She rounded on him. “So my only option is to become a member of your harem and let you control my inventory?”
Cheeks burning, Zack nodded. “Ah, I guess so. But you can wear whatever you want. I won’t pick rewards for you or force you to do anything against your will.” Man, this is going to suck hard.
If he didn’t need her, he might have walked away and never even considered the idea of her joining him. Who wanted to listen to someone bad mouth you constantly simply for being a male?
“I assume you will remain as you are,” Zack added. “Unlike NPCs, players have free will, so other than the Inventory thing, I imagine it won’t be much different than being in a group with me.”
Anita still didn’t look convinced. To tell the truth, he wasn’t sure what would happen. But what choice did they have?
Zack sighed. “Look, there is something else and it’s going to sound bad. I contracted a stupid disease down in Lower Underworld. It’s not contagious, but it is on a timer, and once that timer reaches zero, I’m a dead man.”
“How long have you got?”
“120 hours or so. I was on the way to
find the cure, when the Janitor threw me into this.”
“All the more reason not to join you,” she muttered, then shook her head. “Fine, let me into your harem. It’s not like I have another option if I want to get out of the Underworld any time soon.”
She grabbed his arm. “But don’t expect me to become one of your fawning sex dolls. I go where I want, and kill anything that gets in my way.”
He gave her a friendly grin. “When all the women are safe, you’re more than welcome to watch our sexy reunion party from the sidelines.”
She rolled her eyes. “Men.”
A moment later, her HP bar appeared. She was part of his harem.
Anita was level 13 and her upgraded Tier 2 class buff was active, giving them…
Born of Rage: Restores 12 Stamina/Mana/Inspiration points per 1 minute in or out of battle
“Do you feel any different?” He asked tentatively.
Anita looked him up and down. “I loathe your wretched male existence just as much as before.” She seemed to relax. “Which suits me just fine.”
“Right.” Zack headed for the exit, grinning to himself. “Just so you know, I rated you 9/10 back in Vanamoor, but now, especially in that sexy armor, you’re definitely a 10/10.”
Chapter Ten
Haters Gonna Hate
Five hours later, they reached Pond Scum Sump and caught sight of their targets. The dastardly forum troll brigade.
Zack and Anita watched the three men from a forest of stalagmites poking up from the floor. Like the age-old troll under the bridge cliché, these three had set up a camp under a stone bridge that had been built across the giant expanse of water.
“They are level 12’s,” Zack said. “I see a Warrior, a Bard and a Druid that has to be the one who left a one star review.”
“That Warrior is DPS.” Anita was right next to him, breathing heavily, her body tense.
She seemed to be itching to get out there and fight.
“They’re probably all DPS mouth breathers and window lickers.” Zack studied the Druid. The man wore leather armor and had green hair. “He’s probably going to turn into a leopard. All the idiot cool kidz and brain dead morons put all their talents into that form.”
Leopards were fast and agile and could put out some terrifying burst damage. The downside was they had less hit points than lions or gorillas, the other forms that class could take.
“You go for the Druid, I will take the other two.” Anita grunted, her face hidden behind the faceguard of her helmet. “That Bard will go down nice and fast.”
“Feel free to use any potions you need.” Zack opened his Inventory and scanned the list. 5 Greater Health, 8 Greater Mana, 10 Regeneration potions.
“Let’s do this.” Anita climbed to her feet and started forward.
Growling under his breath, Zack raced after her. He’d wanted to try to sneak up on the trolls, but clearly she was more about running in there and knocking heads together.
She and Amy are going to get along just fine. Zack could already imagine how out of control the two would get once they were together in battle.
Anita strode up to the men and without a word headed directly for the Bard. The men looked at her open mouthed, not even reaching for their weapons, as if they were too shocked to react.
They probably were. It wasn’t like there were many players down here…
The Bard didn’t even cry out as she grabbed him by the shoulder and sliced open his throat with her sword. As blood gushed everywhere, she dropped her weapon and shoved her hand into the gaping wound then tore off his head with a sickening crunch, her fingers gripping his spine. The headless body collapsed to the ground at her feet.
Unsuspecting Attack
Level 12 Player Gonads has been vanquished!
+1200
Anita threw the head at the Warrior. It slammed into his plate armor, splattering him with blood then bouncing away.
For a long moment, the two enemy players didn’t move, they just watched the head and dangling spine roll across the ground. Then they finally understood they were under attack.
They drew their weapons and readied for battle. “The hell are you doing?” The Warrior sounded like a twelve year old boy about to burst into tears.
Zack charged the Druid, just as he switched forms. The leopard growled at him, getting ready to lunge. He was on it, throwing out a Demon Strike, then Shield Slam, smashing it in the snout.
Inflicted 234 damage
The leopard ducked away from his Criss Cross, then took a swipe at him from the side, tearing a deep gash along his shield arm, the claws penetrating his chain armor.
-178hp
Zack slashed at the light tanned colored beast, as it circled around him to attack him from behind. He was vaguely aware of Anita battling the Warrior, but could not spare her a look. The leopard lunged at him, and he swung his shield and knocked it flying.
Growling, it bounced back to its feet and sped at him. As soon as its feet left the ground, Zack dropped to the ground and brought his sword up. He scored a deep cut along the underside of its furry belly as it leapt over his head.
The Druid cat landed heavily on its paws, blood running down its leg. “Fuck you, Blademaster, I am going to rip you apart with my claws then eat your soft pink guts.”
It would have been odd to hear a cat speak, but Zack was used to Druids, having played with dozens of them during his time in Aralia Online.
“Good luck with that, noob.” Zack raised his sword and shield. “I haven’t even used any of my kickass abilities yet.”
A Bestial face appeared above the leopard as it used Savage, a burst DPS Druid ability.
Then it lunged for him, its claw swipes empowered by the buff. Zack popped his trinkets special ability Solid Shield (30% damage reduction for one minute), and kept his guard up, hoping to hold out for the buff to be over. If he tried to attack now, he would have to risk taking heavy damage.
A claw managed to catch his arm, pulling aside his shield, and penetrating his flesh.
-45hp
Reduced by his defense buff, the damage of the enemy was slight. But then Zack took a swipe across the chest, the claws penetrating his armor, his hit points taking a nosedive.
-174hp
Using Demon Strike and scoring a nice hit on the leopard’s back end, Zack drove the beast back.
Inflicted 134 damage
The enemy Warrior screamed.
“You should have picked a real man’s class, kid,” Zack said to the enemy player as he positioned himself so he could keep an eye on the leopard while he checked to see how Anita was doing. She was sitting near half health.
What he saw made him gasp. Anita had hacked both of the Warrior’s arms off and was using them to beat him to death. WTF?
The leopard Druid saw it too. “No!” He leapt at Anita from behind.
She swung around, bashing the leopard aside with the severed arm. The player flew sideways, slamming into the enemy player tent and knocking it over. Zack raced after the creature and drove his sword down into its guts before it could get back to its feet.
Shrieking, the leopard’s Nine Lives ability went off, saving its life. It disappeared from the end of Zack’s sword and appeared a dozen feet to his left.
Nine Lives. An annoying Druid ability (at least for PVP) that saved them from certain death.
Druids were always dazed for a few moments after the spell had gone off, as they caught up with where their ability had positioned them. Zack was on the Druid before it could recover. He sliced off its nose, then brought his sword down into its back, cutting the player in half.
“Next time: leave a more productive game review.”
The player returned to his human form, his HP running on fumes. “You killed my avatar over a goddamn one star review?” He spat blood at Zack. “This game is only worth 0.5 stars lolzzzz! Worst. Game. Ever(TM).” His breath rattled in his throat. “Would one star it again…”
With tha
t, he died, blood pooling around him.
Level 12 Player Custarmard has been vanquished!
+1200
A foot came down on his skull, crushing it and sending both eyes rolling across the ground like marbles. Anita lifted her foot and flicked away some sticky gore. “The other one’s still alive, but I told him to give me a second.”
Her shoulders were heaving as she fought to catch her breath, the severed arms resting on the ground beside her. “I ain’t done with him yet.”
Zack stared down at the splattered brains at her feet. “You got a thing for crushing skulls underfoot?”
“Some people like playing cards, some drinking, others like pussy cats. Me, I enjoy crushing male skulls under my iron shod boots.” She booted the two halves of the dead Druid body into the water. Within moments, piranha fish came to the surface to feed.
Anita chuckled. “I have an idea.”
The orc woman strode over to the beaten and bloody player and tore off his armor, placing it in Zack’s inventory. She lifted the player and carried him toward the water.
“What are you doing?” He cried through his broken teeth, blood gushing from his severed stumps.
“Troll this, asshole!” She threw the player into the water.
He broke the surface and cried out. “I can’t swim, I have no arms. Please, help me. Help me.”
Zack came to stand next to her, almost feeling bad for the guy. “Don’t worry, it will be over soon, and you can roll a new character and start this shitty grind all over again.”
“But, but, I spent hundreds of hours on this—” he cried out as a swarm of fish circled around him.
Then he screamed. “Oh, god they’re eating me. Help, get me out of here, it hurts so much.” A fish jumped out of the water, and tore his ear off. “No, please don’t eat me. My mom says I taste awful.” The water around him flooded with crimson. “Oh, god, noooo…”
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