by Anna Bloom
“Fucking hell.” I rolled my head back as he filled me, pressing back on that spot that made me go weak-legged.
He chuckled against my throat, his warm breath brushing over my skin. I pushed myself harder down onto him, so low and hard, it hurt in the most pleasurable way, so I remained torn between wanting to move away and wanting more. His hand settled on my hips, pushing and lifting.
Not satisfied, I pulled away and turned, climbing back over his lap, sliding myself down on him again. I kissed him with ferocity, our bodies flying against one another. His fingers pulled on my hair, tugging tight, breaking our kiss and arching my neck. I moved faster, my hips endlessly circling as his hands grasped my tits tight, squeezing my nipples, making me squirm and cry.
“Leia,” he gasped my name and a thrill coursed through me, another orgasm rising and cresting. He pulled me against his chest, all pain washing away. His arms held me tight as he shuddered into me and for one blistering moment I found myself in what could only have been heaven. I clung onto him as hard as I could as unexpected tears splashed from my eyes and I called his name.
“I love you.” I kissed his cheeks, his nose, his forehead, his neck. Everywhere I could touch.
His hand smoothed my hair, lifting my face to look at him, his thumb against my jaw in that delicate hold he worshipped me with. “And I love you. More than anything.”
His green eyes burned.
I went to move off his lap. “You do realise Daisy is going to wake in about two hours?”
He nodded, his smile slow and quirking at one corner. I kissed it, just because I could. “That was worth being tired for.”
I laughed, sliding my hand over his shoulder, catching sight of the diamonds reminding me of who I was, who I’d promised to be.
The evening, with all the trauma, the heartbreak, my day with its shocks and surprises slowly faded away until it was him and I.
“Oh bollocks,” he said.
Way to ruin my moment.
“What?”
“Leia.” He cringed, sheepish, and my chest tightened.
“What?” My tone sharpened. “What’s wrong?”
“I forgot to, uh.” He scrunched his face. “I didn’t use a condom.”
I nearly laughed. “Oh.”
“I’m sorry.” His lips found mine, warm and soft, homey and perfect.
“Don’t worry.” I kissed him back, pecking my words with my kisses. “We can sort it tomorrow. I’m sure there’s a morning after pill for your royal spermage.”
His eyes met mine, his lips curving just ever so slightly. “Yes, you and your issue with royal spermage.”
“I’m twenty-two and a mother of a six-year-old.”
“Twenty-three.”
“You know what I mean.”
“And I’m thirty, and the father of a six-year-old.” His words made my heart want to leap out of my chest and fly into the sky, floating with clouds and rainbows.
“Ollie. I think the royal wedding of scandal, and everything else we have going on is enough. I could do without being the first knocked up royal bride.”
His fingers slipped around my cheek. “I already plan for it to be the shortest royal engagement in the history of royal marriages.”
“Oh you do, do you?”
“Yes.” His burning statement stole my laughter. “Everything I want is in the four walls of this cottage.”
“Ollie, it’s not that easy. We have responsibilities. You do. Don’t push things too far, you’ve got nothing to prove to me.”
He met my gaze, his expression one of utter seriousness. “I will spend every day of my life proving I’m worthy of you.”
I went to tell him he had it wrong, that it was the other way around, but he stole my words with a kiss, and then another and then another, until eventually the sun dipped over the windowsill of a bedroom in our perfect cottage where I wanted us to hide forever.
When he tucked me into his side, holding me so tight I could feel his heart against my back, his hand slipped down my waist as he whispered, “I love that you and I could create something together.”
And how could argue with that? Because I knew without any doubt that together we were everything.
He pressed his last kiss, before sleep stole him away, into my neck, whispering, “Happy birthday.”
Twenty
I pushed the door open into the gloomy room. The air was stuffy and overly warm. Walking to the window I opened the curtains and shoved at a window.
Oliver and Daisy had been out for a while, Daisy being home now it was the Christmas break. The Range Rover had been missing when I’d finally woken from my gifted lie in.
After I’d spent about an hour looking at my diamonds, I figured it was probably time to do something useful.
Everything seemed achingly real in the cold light of day.
Someone wanted access to Daisy.
Oliver’s sister had a drug issue I hadn’t even properly accounted for—me the daughter of a drug addict. Anger coursed through me as I recognised how blind I’d been.
Oh and the future King of England had asked me to marry him. And his public were probably going to go bonkers.
There seemed a lot to process.
With the curtains open I turned for the bed.
“I’m sorry.” Isabella’s skin matched the white bedding.
“You should be. You scared the life out of your parents.”
Shaking my head, I stepped for the bed and perched on the mattress. The drip had been taken away and now Isabella just looked like she’d been sleeping off a bad hangover.
“I know. I’ve already been given a talking to.”
“They were worried.
“Ollie’s been in as well.” She cringed. “Told me I had to sort myself out.”
Wow. He really hadn’t slept. Our whispered conversation of the night before came back to me. His request for us to let nature take its course. It made my heart thrum too fast. Could I?
I rubbed at my face.
“Nice bling.”
“You saw it last night but I guess you don’t remember.”
“I knew he’d ask you soon.” She smiled, but her lips were pale and dry.
I stared at my hands for a moment. “Your dad doesn’t want us to announce it until the new year. He thinks it will be too much for the public. I guess maybe he thinks they won’t take it seriously.”
Isabella nodded softly but then cringed, wincing one eyed closed. “It’s only a few weeks. We’ve got to go through the bore of Christmas in Wales yet. God, I hate that it’s the same shit every year. It feels like it’s never going to end.”
“You need to spend some time recovering. Isabella, that was incredibly dangerous. Ecstasy is not safe.”
“Would you rather heroin? Because, honestly, I find my come down too hard after that.”
I stared at her open mouthed. “Don’t even joke.”
Her hands wrung together. “I’m sorry.”
“Stop saying sorry and do something. Isabella, this isn’t going to go away.”
“Call me Bella, please. You sound like a governess.”
I snorted. “Well I don’t want to sound like that.”
We lapsed into silence for a moment and I found myself staring at my ring again. “Can I ask a question?”
“So long as you aren’t going to ask the meaning of my life. My head hurts too much for that; and really, I’m not sure there is one.”
“One what?”
“A meaning.”
I watched her carefully.
“Oh ignore me, it’s just the come down.” She waved her hand. “Come on, what were you going to ask?”
“What was he like with her?”
Bella looked at me, a frown creasing her forehead. “Oh you mean with Charlotte?”
I slumped a little. “Everyone is going to compare me to her aren’t they? I mean, they’d already accepted her as their future princess, and now what, he’s going to ask them to accept me i
nstead.”
She was silent for so long I thought she’d fallen asleep. Eventually, she lifted slightly out of the bed and grabbed my hand. “He was an utter fucking bore.”
“A bore?”
“Leia, you’ve changed him. Everything maybe. But don’t push too hard. The people will love you, honestly. It’s an annoying trait of yours, but it’s kind of hard not to get swept up and see things your way. Give them time. Let them see you together, see the way you two are. At the moment, you haven’t really had the chance and they are judging you on the small things they can see.” Her fingers squeezed again. “But once your engagement is announced then you will be on official duties. Then they will see the real you.”
“So you don’t think Charlotte would have been better than me?”
“Are you fucking crazy? The woman was unhinged. John did Ollie a massive favour, which he well knows.”
“I wish people knew what she was really like, so they’d stop judging Oliver.”
Bella shrugged. “They will always judge him. Now he has to prove his worth to them all, show them it’s really love this time.”
“You make it sound very easy.”
“It’s all the E’s. They give me utter clarity.”
“Bella!”
“I’m joking.” Her smile faded. “Janine is coming back today. I’m going to talk to her.”
“Good. I’d hate to see you waste your existence.”
“Oh, Leia.”
“Yep.”
“Happy birthday.”
I cringed. “Is there anyone in the palace who doesn’t know?”
She pulled a face and chuckled. “Nope. I don’t think so.”
“Great.”
“Enjoy it. I can assure you he never did this for Charlotte Macclesfield.”
“Did what?” My eyes widened.
“Everything.”
I sat with her for a while as she dozed fitfully. I didn’t really have anywhere else to be, and I didn’t really want to look at my phone. Having your birthday days before Christmas I think sucked for most people.
Having a birthday that was very rarely remembered during childhood sucked even harder. It wasn’t bad enough that Father Christmas never got to visit, having your actual birthday forgotten hurt just a little too much.
I guess I learnt to hide from it. Then life post-Daisy I’d focused on giving her as much as I could so she’d never experience that gnawing pain of missing out.
For her first Christmas I’d saved a tenner a week from my benefits so I could go to town. She’d been so young she had no clue, but it gave me a fierce sense of pride to know I’d achieved something my mother never had. Normality.
As I crunched over the gravel, I thought of the woman who still lived in those flats in Hackney. Yesterday, with Ollie’s bold words and determined promises and the other drama that had followed it had been easy to push them to one side.
There was no hiding from them now. Not in the cold light of day.
Jacob. I wished I could remember, anything, something. I wished I knew what to do. Although the sinking sensation in my stomach told me that the four diamonds on my finger meant I probably wouldn’t get any say in it anyway. I’d given my life to the palace now. Things would be done their way.
Still, as I glanced up at the sky swollen with grey clouds, the air a funny tinge of green, I thought of the woman and wondered how she’d put two and two together and come out with a conclusion so wild that she thought Daisy might be her granddaughter. Nutcase? Opportunist? Grieving mother?
“Oh, there she is?” The slam of a car door made me turn and for a moment I cowered expecting a camera to be thrust in my face. Realising my stupidity—I stood in the palace for God’s sake… with soldiers at the gate—I straightened up.
My mouth popped open as I clapped eyes on Molly and Patrick. “What are you guys doing here?”
Molly pulled her most unattractive ‘are you stupid’ face. “Well duh. It’s your birthday, and as you can’t come out to play, we’ve come to you.”
“Well that’s stupid.” I pulled my own exceptionally childish face back. “We’ve never done anything for my birthday.”
Molly looked affronted and the shine in her eyes dimmed a little bit. “No. You mean when we’ve turned up every year for a takeaway with wine for the last goodness knows how long.”
I paused on the gravel. God, I was actually a bitch. “I know. I know. I’m sorry.”
Molly dropped her bag onto the gravel. “We know you hate celebrating, but it doesn’t mean we haven’t been with you every year not doing it.”
I nodded, a smile growing. “So long as you haven’t bought me any presents. You already took me shopping in Primark, remember?”
She pretended to scratch her head. “Nope, I don’t remember that at all.”
“Come on.” I gestured for them both to follow me.
“Aren’t we going in there?” Patrick eyed the palace with speculation.
“Come and see the cottage first and then I’ll see if I can get you a tour.”
Molly grabbed hold of my arm. “What the fuck is that on your hand?”
“Oh.” I blushed, mainly because I wanted to hide it from blinding everyone. “Last night, Oliver…”
“What! He did not?! Bloody hell, this is amazing. I can’t believe you didn’t call straightaway. Wait…” Her words tumbled. “Why hasn’t it been on the news today? Aren’t you supposed to go and do one of those walkabout things where everyone waves flags?”
I cringed, my cheeks burning hot. “It’s complicated.”
“Complicated?” We needed to move this inside. It was bloody freezing out in the courtyard and I really didn’t fancy pneumonia for our first family Christmas.
“Well you know, because of what happened with Charlotte and John, the King doesn’t want everyone talking and questioning yet another royal engagement.”
Patrick and Molly stared at me and I realised my mistake. “Oh God, please don’t ever repeat that, please, promise.”
Molly frowned. “Of course not. How long have you known?”
“Uh, since Ollie and I met.”
Patrick frowned. “You know I don’t think I’ll ever get used to you talking about the heir to the throne like that.”
“You’ll like him when you get to know him, I promise.”
Patrick’s lips set into a straight line and I could kind of get it. I mean, we’d spent years being friends, with our Friday night drinks and the two of them always being there for Daisy and me. They were almost an extended family for Daisy. Yet in the last few weeks I’d hardly seen them at all. Palace walls separated us.
“So let me get this right.” Molly scratched her face, her enthusiasm for my birthday dimming in light of my newest announcement. “You can’t announce to everyone you’re getting married because it will be bad press. Because Oliver has already been engaged to someone before and it ended badly.”
Well when she put it like that. I shook off the thought. “It was last night and it’s just until January; it’s not a big deal.” I didn’t add that we’d had enough to cope with last night what with Russian presidents and tripping princesses.
“Guys, are you coming or not?” I started to walk for the pathway to our cottage. “It’s freezing out here and honestly…” My words trailed off. Out on the lawn between the palace and Fenmore Cottage was a marquee. Not a small one. A big one.
“Eeeee!!! Happy birthday.” Molly squealed. “And happy Christmas party. Whoop whoop.”
“Uh, whoop what?” I stared between her and the marquee. Oliver’s Range Rover was parked in front of it. “I don’t understand. I was only in the apartment with Bell—” I stopped myself for finishing that thought. “For an hour or two.”
“Apparently everything is possible when you have an army of staff at your hands. It’s the Bright Futures Christmas party, and your birthday all in one.”
“But I…” I glanced down at my jeans and sheepskin boots, the first thin
gs I’d pulled on once I’d woken from my extreme lay in and wanted to go and see Bella.
Molly lifted the bag she was holding. “I knew you’d be utterly underprepared.”
I narrowed my gaze. “That doesn’t look like Primark.”
“Darling, no princesses wear Primark. Believe me that’s a title you don’t want: Princess Primark.” She chuckled to herself, although I failed to find it that amusing.
Daisy came out of the marquee, a beautiful silver chiffon party dress paired with a red cardigan and some welly boots. “Mummy!” She rushed into my arms and I swept her up.
“How did you guys do all this?”
Daisy chuckled and pressed her nose against mine. “We hid in the palace, working on the decorations and things while you were asleep. As soon you went to the apartment we drove back around. Pops didn’t like us driving on the grass, but Ollie thought it was funny, and then the people came out to put up the marquee. Ollie timed them. He said it was the fastest ever.”
I blinked at her. “Wow. You drove on the grass, huh?”
She nodded, her blonde curls bouncing. “It was bumpy and fun.”
Molly thrust the bag she’d brought with her at me and I linked my hand through the handle and then grasped Daisy’s hand again. “I know you have other people to dress you now and make sure you wear the right thing, but I guess I miss doing it.”
I chuckled and leant over to kiss her cheek. “Coming with me?”
“Hell no. I’m going to go and sniff out some champagne before Sonja gets here.”
“Everyone is coming, right?”
Molly shot me a wide smile. “Really, I think you’d struggle to keep them away. It’s a step up from that dismal bar we had last year.”
I glanced at the palace over my shoulder. It sure was.
“Coming with Mummy, or do you need to go and wreck more lawn with Ollie?”
“You.” Daisy’s little arms tightened and for a brief and insanely selfish moment I missed our time together. Our family had grown. We shared each other now, and my heart had grown with it, but sometimes I wanted to just smell her hair, have that ripple of immense pride run through me, and know she was all mine.
She was still mine.