Nothing would help her but time.
“Sweetheart.” Ness sounded almost motherly, definitely sisterly. The hard edge from her voice was gone. “You are not stupid. You’re the smartest of all of us. If there was a mistake made, it wasn’t you falling in love, it was that Gage was too blind to see what he had. He really missed out on an incredible life with you.”
The tears dried on Andy’s cheeks as she held the phone gently against her ear. “Thanks.”
“What a jackwagon.”
Andy surprised herself by laughing at her sister’s choice of name-calling. Even Ness let out a little chuckle.
“I have a way of letting my own misery overflow onto others,” Ness said. “I’m bossy and rude. I want what’s best for you, but somehow it comes out like I’m judgmental. No wonder Alec is leaving me.”
“Stop talking about my sister that way.”
Ness let out another laugh.
“Are you and Alec going to counseling?”
“He asked me if I would.” A pause. “I told him I’d think about it.”
“Ness, don’t let your pride ruin what you and Alec have. I can’t pretend to know what it’s like to be married as long as you have, but I’ve seen you two together. You’re good for each other. You were at some point, anyway. Is it unfixable?”
“I want to believe it’s fixable but I’m afraid to try.” Ness’s voice trembled. “I don’t ever want to feel this way again. I wonder if it’d be easier to make a rule to never get this close to someone rather than to try again and fail.”
A rule...or a pact.
Andy thought of Gage and wondered for the first time since he dumped her if she wasn’t the braver of the two of them. She was the one who faced her fears and won—he’d faced them and retreated.
“Don’t make a rule,” Andy told her sister. “Don’t rob yourself of something great—whether it’s Alec or a man in your future you overlook because you were hurt once before. Don’t let the pain you’re feeling now keep away the joy you could have later.”
“See?” Vanessa sniffled, but there was a smile in her voice. “I told you that you were the smartest one.”
They chatted for another twenty minutes, until Andy’s eyes grew heavy and Ness begged off. She promised to call Alec and schedule the counselor, and thanked Andy for her help.
They exchanged I-love-yous, another rarity between them, and Andy curled up on the couch and closed her eyes, contented at least in part that she’d helped Ness through a rough evening.
* * *
Andy woke up to the insistent buzz-buzz-buzz of her phone. She cracked open one eye and checked the screen. It was her apartment’s front desk, and typically they called only when there was a visitor or a delivery.
She blinked, her bleary eyes fighting to focus on the clock on the wall. Midnight wasn’t prime visiting or delivery hours.
“Hello?” Her voice was groggy and sleepy, her mind not doing a very good job of understanding what the woman who called was saying to her.
But Andy made out two pertinent bits of information.
Gage Fleming was in the lobby.
And he wanted to come up and see her.
“He said it’s urgent, Ms. Payne.”
She had no idea how Gage had found her address. She hadn’t purposely kept it from him—it’d been easier to meet him on her way home from work or at the airport when they’d flown to Ohio—but she was grateful he didn’t know where to find her when her wounds were so fresh.
That he’d found her at all meant one of two things. A) He was angry about the check she’d sent and wanted to throw it in her face; or B) He wanted to explain himself since he hadn’t shown an iota of tact when he’d broken up with her a week and a half ago.
Not that there was any great way to tell someone you didn’t love them.
“Send him up.” She’d hear what he had to say. She was brave. Strong. And unafraid.
How much more could he hurt her after he’d tossed her heart into the dirt?
After a quick check in the mirror by the front door to make sure her mascara wasn’t on her cheeks—it wasn’t—Andy opened the door and waited in the doorway with her arms folded.
She unfolded her arms and straightened, unsure if she wanted him to see her in a defensive position. Then folded them again anyway.
Dammit.
She was nervous.
Even though she wanted with all her heart not to be.
But you don’t have all of your heart, do you?
No. The man currently riding the elevator up to her apartment had at least 30 percent of it.
Maybe forty.
She refused to give him more. Not without him reciprocating.
From her front door she had a vantage point of the elevator, so she watched when Gage stepped from it. He was still in his office clothes, a pale blue pinstriped shirt and trousers, a navy tie knotted at his neck. In one hand was an envelope.
She froze when he spotted her. His mouth was unsmiling and his gait long and strong. As he strode toward her she had no idea if he’d chosen A or B. His first words to her didn’t clear it up, either.
“You’re not an Ice Queen.” He stopped in front of her and held up the envelope, torn open unevenly. A good representation for how she’d felt over the last week. “This proves it.”
She didn’t follow his meaning, so she said something neutral. “Paynes always repay their debts.”
“You’re not in debt to me. I’m in debt to you. You gave me the best gift of all.” His mouth curved, reminding her of the taste of his smile. “It didn’t cost you a thing but it was far more valuable than anything you could’ve bought.”
The dangerous emotions she’d packed down into a tight ball at the bottom of her heart threatened to unravel. She crossed her arms tighter to keep it there.
“You showed me you. The real you. The unsure, vulnerable, shy you. And when it came time for me to man up and show you that part of me—” he shook his head “—I failed you.”
That tight ball unraveled like a spring.
“This—” he held up the check inside the envelope “—is proof that you still love me.”
She felt her cheeks go white as the blood drained from them to her toes. She shook her head. Not because it wasn’t true but because he wasn’t supposed to know that part. That check was intended to be proof that she didn’t love him. She needed to learn how to be whole without him. She needed space and giving him the money he’d never wanted was supposed to guarantee that space. To allow her to close the door on what they had for good.
“You never would’ve sent me this if you didn’t still love me. If you hated me, you wouldn’t have given me another thought,” he told her. “Like I said, you’re not the Ice Queen. In fact, everything about you is fire. From your red hair to your flaming honesty to the way you heat me up with your vulnerability. I thought I’d walk away and save us both further pain but the truth is... I’m scorched, Andy. Ruined. I will never again be whole. Not without you.”
She closed her eyes and sensed Gage stepping close to her. She’d never imagined this scenario—not in all her multiple-choice options. He’d given a speech that absolutely owned her in the threshold of her apartment.
And he wasn’t through yet.
“I was trying to rebuild my own walls and failing miserably. I fell in love with you, and because I’m so hopelessly out of practice at responding to that much love, I blew it. I had a chance to claim your heart and defend your honor and I didn’t.”
“The pact...” were the only words she could utter. She couldn’t address the “fell in love” part or the fact that she’d “scorched” him and “ruined” him for all others. That was too big.
“Fuck the pact.”
She took him in—those boyish curls and caramel-brown eyes. The way being near him felt
so, so right.
“If I promise to love you forever, will you forgive me?”
“I...” But more words wouldn’t come.
“If I promise to be brave from now on out, can you let me in?”
A shaky nod was the most she could give him before she covered her mouth to stifle the cry. Then she was in Gage’s arms, being held and shushed, the words I’m sorry and I love you on a loop on his tongue.
When he let her go, he held the envelope between them. “An Ice Queen would’ve kept the money as the ultimate screw-you. You, Andrea Payne, are no Ice Queen.”
He tore the envelope in half and then in half again and dropped the pieces at their feet. His eyes flicked to her lips and just like before their first kiss, he said, “I’ll let you come to me.”
She gripped the back of his neck. “But you’ll give as good as you get?”
“You bet your perfect breasts I will.”
They met in the middle, their mouths crashing and their bodies fusing together—as close as they could get without being naked. But they were naked in another way—their souls had been bared.
Walls had come down.
Hearts could heal.
Pacts, like the envelope at her feet, could be torn into pieces.
“I missed you,” she whispered, the tear sliding down her cheek a happy one.
He thumbed it away and smiled warmly. “You’ll never have to miss me again.”
Epilogue
It was a gorgeous, sunshiny, perfect day to be on the water.
The pontoon swayed gently in the cove where they’d anchored, Andy’s four sisters holding out their flutes while Gage filled each to the brim with sparkling rosé.
It was a beautiful summer day in Crown, Ohio.
“Carrying forth the tradition of the couples’ cruise was never not an option,” Andy explained as she pulled out a plastic flute for herself. Gage winked as he uncorked a second bottle and filled Andy’s glass as well as his own. “This time around, we have a new couple who will reenact a movie kiss and attempt to steal first place from Gage and me.”
“A tough act to follow,” Gwen offered. “Good luck, Ness.”
All heads swiveled to Vanessa and her date, Mitchell. Mitch was forty years old, had two daughters who were ten and eight, though they hadn’t come to the Payne-Fleming wedding, and he had a nice smile and a smooth-as-butter Southern accent.
Andy liked Mitch.
Vanessa and Alec had gone to counseling, and although it didn’t result in a reunion, Ness was much happier with her new beau. Andy could see it in the loose way she draped over him on the boat’s seat. Sometimes things had to break to be fixed, like Andy and Gage, but other times the break was too final and new parts were needed.
“We’re a hard act to follow,” Gage said. “Andy and I nailed Titanic.”
A round of teasing “ohhs” lifted on the air.
“You say that like we didn’t prepare.” Ness arched one eyebrow in challenge.
“I know better.” Andy playfully rolled her eyes. Vanessa and Alec had rehearsed for their Dirty Dancing kiss for weeks.
“Get ready to be dazzled. But not yet. We have to practice. Into the water with all of you.” Ness shooed them off the boat.
“Not a hard sell today.” Gage polished off his bubbly and stripped his shirt over his head. The late July afternoon was a stifling ninety-eight degrees and the humidity was set to “stun.”
Within minutes of Gage cannonballing off the side of the boat, everyone save Ness and Mitch was in the water.
Arm around her waist, Gage tugged Andy to him and she wrapped her legs around him.
“God, they’re as bad as we were,” Gwen told Garrett.
“Worse,” her husband concluded.
“Do you think they’re really going to beat our couples’ cruise kiss?” Gage asked Andy, ignoring the ribbing of her family to nuzzle her nose.
She held onto her gorgeous fiancé, squinting against the blindingly bright sun. “Possibly. Ness hates to lose.”
“Sounds like she has a lot to learn.” His eyebrows jumped in self-deprecating humor. At one point he’d been the one who was so afraid to fail he hadn’t given them a chance.
He’d come a long way. Especially when he proposed at Monarch Consulting. He’d lured her to the building under the guise of meeting for lunch and then was on his knees before her, proclaiming his love for her in front of his friends.
Andy pulled her hand out of the water to admire the engagement ring. A teardrop-shaped diamond with smaller stones on the band. Gage had told her he liked to think that it was shaped like a flame.
She liked that, too.
“We’re ready! Although you’re going to get the PG version.” Ness came out from behind the beach towel Mitch had used to shield her and stood on one of the boat’s seats. She was wearing a short pink skirt, an argyle-patterned neckerchief and knee socks in the same jaunty design. Her hair was pulled back at the sides but distinctly ruffled to make her look like she’d had a few too many.
Once the song started playing, Gwen gasped. “I know this one! I know it!”
Andy watched the scene unfold, from Ness leading Mitch across the boat to her falling on a seat and letting out a loud laugh. By the time she tossed aside the kerchief and they vanished from sight, Kelli and Gwen were cheering.
Carroll was grinning, too. The husbands, including Andy’s husband-to-be, looked as clueless as she felt.
Vanessa popped back into view, Mitch with her. “Sorry the kiss happened out of sight. We got a little carried away. Any guesses?”
“The Wedding Date, and bravo,” Kelli answered.
“Yes!” Vanessa shot her fists into the air as everyone clapped.
“What movie?” Andy had to ask.
Gwen looked affronted. “Debra Messing. Dermot Mulroney. The boat scene.”
“The movie where she pays the guy to be her date for her sister’s wedding. Total fiction, right?” Vanessa added with a wink.
Next to her Gage laughed. “That was a good one.”
“The best!” Ness corrected, and then awarded herself first place.
“Close,” Gage murmured as he pulled Andy into his arms. Then he whispered so that only she could hear, “But not the best.”
* * *
Drew Fleming recognizes her older brother’s
sexiest best friend immediately, even if Reid doesn’t recognize her. But after one fantasy night together, Reid discovers he just slept with his best friend’s little sister! All bets are off...or are they?
Reid’s story is coming soon!
Available July 2019!
Keep reading for an excerpt from His for One Night by Sarah M. Anderson.
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His for One Night
by Sarah M. Anderson
One
“It’s a good crowd tonight,” Kyle Morgan said as he slipped down the narrow hallway that qualified as the backstage of the Bluebird Cafe in Nashville, Tennessee. He winked at Brooke Bonner. “But I don’t think any of them came for me.”
Brooke gave the older man a shaky smile but didn’t stop humming to herself. The Bluebird was usually full—it was a small space where songwriters and singers came to test out new material. She’d been coming here for a decade now—first as a patron, then as a performer. She hadn’t been back in almost a year and a half, though.
She hadn’t been anywhere since she’d had Bean.
This night marked the beginning of her official comeback. After almost seven months of what felt like house arrest, she was walking back into the spotlight.
She was done hiding.
Mostly done, anyway. No one but a few select people knew about James Frasier Bonner—who she still called Bean, even though he definitely had grown. At three months, Bean was already smiling and cooing at her.
He had his father’s smile.
Kyle wasn’t in the know about Bean. Which made Brooke feel bad because Kyle was almost a father figure to her. He’d been at the Bluebird for her very first show and had taught her more about songwriting than anyone else. At every step of Brooke’s journey from “girl with a guitar” to “country music phenomenon,” Kyle had been a cheerleader, giving her advice and gentle pushes forward.
“Missed seeing you around,” Kyle said. “Been quiet without you.”
If she could’ve picked a father, Kyle might’ve done the trick. Sadly, Crissy Bonner would never tell Brooke who’d sired her. And the fact that she was walking in her mother’s footsteps by keeping Bean’s father a secret was a huge problem for Brooke.
Temporary To Tempted (The Bachelor Pact Book 2) Page 16