‘Even so, I reacted poorly. And I believe you when you say you didn’t realise she’d be there.’ She licked her full lips, and my groin stirred. ‘I was angry at you for leading me on. For putting yourself first and telling a half-truth, but I’ve realised—well, a friend helped me realise—I’ve been doing the same with you.’
Lying. She’d been … lying?
Zoe walked past me and sat on one end of the couch, placing the water on the coffee table. ‘I was having you train me for a competition that I didn’t expect to win. Then, when you told me I stood a chance, I didn’t push it. I didn’t remind you that even if I got selected, I couldn’t play as I was leaving. That there’s no point to it all.’ She looked down at her hands, twisted in her lap. ‘That was wrong, and I’m sorry. And you were so nice, organising for the manager of the women’s team to meet me, and I screwed it up by running away.’
‘It’s okay.’ I joined her on the other end of the couch, making sure I kept a respectable distance between us. ‘I didn’t tell you. How were you to know?’
‘I still should have talked to you about Ava before I flew the coop. I guess …’ She stared out at the view, the lights of the buildings reflecting off the harbour. ‘When I was younger, I dated a football player. He always put himself and his sport in front of me, and I thought this was just another example of an AFL guy not letting me into a world I’d thought I was a part of. Does that make sense?’
‘It does, but it doesn’t.’ Because who would put her anything but first? I didn’t know Zoe well, but in the short time I’d spent with her I could tell that she was special—worth making an exception for. Worth excepting it all for.
I shifted a little, my leg edging closer to hers. ‘Is that why when we first met, you were so against AFL players?’
She laughed lightly. ‘I was joking, but there was definitely a little truth in there.’ A wistful look came over her eyes as she spoke. ‘We dated from fifteen through till right before I was nineteen. High-school sweethearts.’
‘That’s a long time for teenagers.’ At that age, my longest relationship had been Sarah Jenkins, and it’d lasted four weeks.
‘It was. We did everything together—studied, went to parties, hung out—but mostly, we played football. You see, he always dreamed of joining the league, and I wanted to support him in that. When his friends got tired of running drills, of tackling, of kicking the ball …’ Zoe shrugged. ‘I was there. That’s how I learnt to play.’
‘Wow.’ She’d been so dedicated to helping him with his goals.
‘After high school, we’d planned to take a gap year. Go overseas and volunteer at this orphanage in Africa—it was something I’d always wanted to do, and so had he. Or at least, I thought he had.’ Zoe’s eyes darkened, and she straightened her spine. The movement took her infinitesimally closer to my leg, until her thigh pressed lightly against my knee. Connection. ‘Everything was lined up. We’d been accepted into the volunteer program. We had money for flights in a joint bank account we’d set up.’ She shook her head. ‘A joint bank account I never should have agreed to. Because when a Perth football scout came to Melbourne, James hopped on a plane to trial without telling me. He was accepted and had to relocate across the country immediately to take advantage of the opportunity. Only moving costs money, and …’ She held her hands out wide. ‘When I went to book my plane ticket, heartbroken but still determined to follow through, I discovered he’d wiped our account clean.’
‘What?’ The bastard. Who the hell would do something like that?
‘He was selected for reserve grade. He’d needed the cash to set himself up over there, and when I called him on it, he apologised, said he’d pay me back.’ She shrugged. ‘That was six years ago, and I haven’t seen a cent since.’
‘What an idiot.’ And even that was too soft a word for it, but the way she looked as I said the line, as if she was ashamed, made me glad I hadn’t gone for anything stronger. ‘You know it wasn’t your fault, right? That guy was a dickhead.’
‘I know that now, but for the longest time I didn’t, and I guess it’s always just made me doubt men.’ A mischievous light flitted through her eyes as she looked me up and down. ‘He made me doubt AFL players who think they’re God’s gift.’
‘Well, I am nominated for Player of the—’
A pillow whomped against my chest, and I laughed.
‘Kidding! Kidding!’ I held my hands up in defeat. ‘Seriously, I get where you’re coming from. I really do.’ I took a deep breath. ‘And I have to admit, I haven’t been entirely honest with you either.’
‘Ava left with all your money to try out for the W.A.R.?’ Zoe teased.
‘Ha!’ A less likely scenario couldn’t cross my mind. ‘No. I didn’t know she was going to be in the box, but that dinner I asked you to accompany me to—it’s not just any dinner. It’s the Player of the Year Awards.’
Zoe’s eyes widened. ‘Seriously?’
‘Yeah. And you were right. Initially, I was doing it because I didn’t have the balls to go alone, and I wanted to make Ava jealous. I thought you were a safe choice because I couldn’t see myself falling for someone who was moving away and who was so clearly not into me. Initially.’
‘Initially.’ Zoe’s voice lingered over the word, as if she were tasting it out in her mouth. ‘And now?’
‘Now …’ I swallowed. Now I didn’t know what I was doing. All I knew was that when I told her I couldn’t fall for her, I’d hated the hurt that had crossed her expression. All I knew was that I felt relaxed around her, as if I were coming home after the longest, hardest day.
All I knew was that thoughts of her body, those legs, that mouth—they hadn’t left my mind since we first met.
I wanted this.
I wanted her.
‘Now, I’m starting to think that maybe having you as my date might be an entirely better proposition than I’d ever imagined it could be.’
Zoe’s lips parted. ‘I …’
I couldn’t wait any longer.
I leaned forward and wrapped one hand around her neck, pulling her closer still.
‘Having you as my date might be the best damn thing that’s happened to me in a long while,’ I growled.
She gasped.
In one swift move, my lips pressed to hers.
Chapter 16
Sawyer
She froze.
I slowed.
Then her hands grasped either side of my face, kissing me back with a passion that sent my body soaring. This. I wanted this so much.
Her tongue slipped into my mouth, dancing with my own, and my cock stirred to life in my shorts as my mind ran rampant. She was so hot, so wet, so perfect. It was as if all the passion that had stirred between us during the last week had come to boiling point, ready to explode.
I slipped my hand up inside her tank, skimming over her flat stomach and pausing at the underside of her boobs. She leaned closer, twisting her fingers in my shirt and pulling me tight until my body was flush against hers.
‘Sawyer,’ she breathed, my name a gift from her lips, and I groaned in response. Oh, Zoe. She was perfect.
I cupped her breast, and it filled my hand perfectly. Her nipple hardened as my thumb skimmed the surface of the thin layer of cotton between us, and I wanted it gone, wanted to take that bud into my mouth and lick, and flick, and tease to my cock’s content.
I wanted her.
Wanted her like—
Ava.
The name came from out of nowhere.
Her nails scratching down my back.
But that hadn’t felt like this. That hadn’t been this magnetic.
Her lips, telling me this was goodbye.
My mouth slowed to a stop. I pulled away, my chest heaving.
I liked Zoe—hell, I felt for her in a way I hadn’t felt for anyone in the longest time, if ever.
But she was leaving.
And Ava’s words still lingered in my mind.
‘Th
at was …’ Zoe shook her head, smoothing down the imaginary creases in her skintight pants. ‘Unexpected.’
‘In a good way, I hope.’
‘In an entirely good way.’ Her gaze met mine. ‘I came here to tell you I couldn’t train with you any more, that I didn’t want to lead you on, but …’
Could I really not kiss that mouth again?
Ava had hurt me, sure—but this wasn’t Ava. And Zoe might have been leaving, but if we just established some ground rules, perhaps we could avoid getting hurt. Perhaps we could make this a short-term thing that had mutual rewards.
‘What if we do this?’ I asked, lust still thick in my tone. ‘I train you. We date—not as some kind of barter system for my time, but for real.’
She shook her head, slow. ‘But Sawyer, I’m leaving …’
‘In what? Two months?’
‘Yes.’
‘So, let’s make it the best two months we’ve got.’ I scrubbed a hand over my jaw. Live like each day was the last—embrace each moment. That was what I should have been doing. That was what I hadn’t done enough of in the past. ‘Why don’t we just make every moment count, and when the time comes to say goodbye, we’ll say goodbye.’
‘I don’t know …’
‘Seriously, I think this could work. Think of it like—like a football game. When you’re out there playing, you give it everything you’ve got, right?’ I asked, pumped.
‘Yes.’
‘And you live in the moment, and you think about what plays are coming next, but you’re not focused on the big picture. You don’t stop and think “kicking this ball right now could mean that in five games’ time we get to the finals”, do you?’
She shook her head. ‘No. If you spent the game thinking like that, you’d become overwhelmed. You wouldn’t be present enough to focus on the cues of the other team, the plays you had to run.’
‘Exactly.’ I nodded, triumphant. ‘So that’s how we need to think of this—us. Like a game.’
Zoe shrugged. ‘It seems like we’re just kidding ourselves.’
I grasped her hands. ‘Maybe we are. But hell, for all we know, we could die tomorrow—there are no guarantees. We owe it to ourselves to give this life everything we’ve got.’
Emily. Her face flashed in my mind. Someone whose mortality teetered on the brink of life and death. If something happened to me …
‘If we’re going to do this, there have to be some ground rules,’ Zoe said on a deep breath.
‘I’m ready. Fire away.’
‘I think we should set an end date, so neither party gets hurt. If we’re going to walk away, let’s make it a clear, clean break.’
‘Makes sense.’ Maybe that would even help stop me getting too attached. ‘How about a week or so before you move?’
‘Hmm, but football teams will be chosen long before then, won’t they?’
‘Yes. Your trial is in two weeks.’ Around the same time as … ‘The awards dinner— that’ll be the same weekend. Maybe it should be our final date.’
‘Perfect! A last hurrah.’ Zoe gave my hands an affirmative squeeze. ‘And my second rule is I don’t think we should have sex.’
Whoa. Well that was less fun. ‘But—’
‘I don’t want to go into this with that expectation,’ she said. ‘I want this to feel like we’re actually dating, you know? I’m not the sort of person who goes out and just has sex after one great date.’
‘After two great dates?’ I tried.
‘Not even with a man who had such a fabulous penis that it dented my car.’ She grinned.
‘Okay. No sex.’ I hung my head but gave her a rueful smile. ‘I can live with that.’
‘And finally, I think maybe I need to give up the training, not try out for the team. I don’t want to let people down—’
‘Hey! We’re living like there are no consequences, aren’t we?’
‘Yes, but—’
‘No.’ I gripped her hands in mine. ‘Zoe, you have too much talent to not give this a go. I know you said you don’t want to let people down, but what if it’s not this season you play, but in a year, when you come back? Having the introduction now will help.’
‘I guess.’ She nibbled on her bottom lip, seemingly unconvinced. ‘I mean, my ticket is one-way though. I don’t know when I’ll return—one year, two …’
A warning tightened my chest. I pushed it aside, a tiny knot of irritation I couldn’t let myself focus on right now. ‘Then in two, three years when they see you again, you’ll be a familiar face.’
‘I guess if I tell them that upfront—that I’m not here to try out this year, but hoping they’ll keep me in mind for future …’
‘Exactly. Do it for what could happen when you get back.’ I gave her a wink. ‘Do it for Emily.’
She shot me a look. ‘You’re using my own patient against me now?’
‘That depends. Is it working?’
She laughed, soft and gentle. Her legs shuffled forward, bringing our hips closer together. I could smell her—so sweet and fresh. Like apples, crisp and clean. Like I want to taste. ‘Okay.’ She raised a hand to cup my cheek. ‘Let’s do it.’
And as she sealed the deal in the best version of a handshake known to man, with a kiss, I tangled my hand in her hair and pushed down the warning bells sounding in the back of my head.
Life was for the now.
And I was going to live it.
Chapter 17
Zoe
My feet pounded against the soil as I jogged around the oval, my breath coming in smoky plumes against the cool night air.
‘One more.’ Sawyer called, one finger doing circles in the air, indicating his request.
I nodded, then turned my head down to the muddy soil beneath me. One. More. Lap. One. More. Lap.
My pace slowed as I rounded the goal posts for the fourth time in this cool-down part of the session, my body still burning hot. It felt good, sweating it all out like this. Playing is better. It was, but this was a close second. Physical exhaustion—there was something so satisfying about it.
I slowed to a walk as I rounded the final corner and came to Sawyer’s side where he sat bundled up in a jacket on the sidelines.
‘Nice work tonight, Zoe.’ He tossed me the water bottle and I caught it, emptying its contents down my dry throat.
‘Thanks,’ I gasped when it was done. Everything hurts. My arms, my legs—like pieces of pasta dough pulled too thin. ‘Shame some of us couldn’t be bothered getting up off the bench.’
He rolled his eyes, and I laughed. We both knew there was no way he could train tonight—not if he wanted to play in the grand final this weekend. If something happened, his coach would have his arse. Hell, I’d have his arse. That was a risk that wasn’t worth taking, even for the sake of ‘living in the moment’.
Heat flushed my cheeks. Our agreement. Last night, I’d left his house shortly after we’d decided to give this dating thing a go. I should ask him if he wants to hang out now. My stomach whomped. Was I … nervous? About asking this guy on a date, when he’d basically already said yes? ‘Did you want to maybe … go get a bite to eat or something?’
‘Sure.’ He slung my kitbag over my shoulder. ‘You want to go get changed or anything, or …?’
‘I’m good.’
‘Well put this on.’ He held out my jacket for me, and I slipped my arms inside. Heat rushed me, and I wanted to shrug it off again, but I wasn’t an idiot. Hot muscles and cold air were a recipe for injury.
I followed him out of the park and across the road toward the strip of shops, cafes and restaurants that made up the mall. In the distance, the bright lights of Luna Park lit up the sky, casting whites and yellows against the greying clouds overhead.
‘You ever been?’ Sawyer nodded to the amusement part.
I shook my head. ‘No. Growing up, we didn’t have a lot of cash to spend on things like that.’
‘Does that upset you?’
‘No.’ I s
miled up at him as we stopped at the lights. ‘I mean, sure, it wasn’t easy, but Mum always said that places like that were run by huge corporations with too much money and not enough heart. I guess for her, it was the amusement park equivalent of a clothing sweatshop.’ I shrugged. ‘We still had a lot of fun. We were really close, and I never felt like I was missing out on anything.’
‘Were?’ Sawyer turned to face me, concern in his eyes.
‘I meant are. She’s not dead or anything, just …’ I took a deep breath. Mum. I missed her. ‘She’s been in Burma for the past few years. Helping at a refugee camp for women seeking amnesty.’
‘Wow.’ His eyes widened. The lights turned green and we crossed the street, headed for the smoothie bar on the corner again. ‘So I guess charity work runs in your veins, doesn’t it?’
‘I guess.’ As long as I could remember, we’d always been involved in some kind of scheme raising money for people who needed it or helping whenever we could. ‘Even when I was little, it was a big part of our lives. Christmas was always spent at the shelter down the street. When other kids went to the zoo, we’d go to an animal rescue and take the dogs for walks.’ How simple everything had seemed back then. Save the world. Do as much good as you could.
Before complications like money, and jobs, and men.
Sawyer smiled, his eyes twinkling. ‘That must have been so …’
‘Rewarding?’ I said. ‘Yes, it was. Doing good, helping others, all that stuff—’
‘I was going to say boring.’ Sawyer made a face, and I laughed. ‘Don’t get me wrong—walking homeless puppies could be very cute—’
‘Adorable.’
‘But picking up all that homeless doggy crap, and worse, leaving the pups in the shelter at the end of the day …’ Sawyer shook his head. ‘Sounds kind of like torture to me.’
‘Sometimes, it was.’ Those little eyes as you left the kennel, begging you not to go …
‘And then the soup kitchen stuff. Again, nice, rewarding, but I’ve walked past the Vinnies Soup Van. There are some scary-looking dudes out the front of that thing—for a young girl, that must have been …’
A Whole New Ball Game Page 8