Sawyer
Zoe was fierce.
I knew that the moment I met her, when she turned on me for walking into her car.
I could tell when she gave it her all at that casual game in Sydney, then when she turned it on again for trial that she fought for what she wanted without hesitation, without pulling any punches.
Tonight, in her grief, Zoe was fierce again.
She stood by Emily’s bed, whispering soft words for only her to hear. She didn’t cry—she kept it together, almost as if she didn’t want their last moments together to be sad.
And when she turned to me at the end of it all, her shoulders were back, her head was high.
She loved that little girl—it was written in her sad eyes, the saddest eyes I’d ever seen.
But she did what she had to do, and she did it with all her heart.
And I knew then why she had to go. Why she wanted to help people overseas. It wasn’t about choosing an orphanage over me. It was part of who she was.
‘Here.’ I placed the peppermint tea down on the coffee table in front of her.
‘Thanks.’ She didn’t make a move to drink, staring at the blank TV instead.
I sunk onto the couch by her side, my own mug in hand. Huh. If you’d asked me a month ago if this was how I thought I’d be spending the awards night, my answer wouldn’t have been yes.
And yet being with Zoe was infinitely better, despite the horrible circumstances.
Anything with her was better.
‘She would have loved that you went in there tonight,’ I said.
‘She would have been more impressed that Sawyer Benson came.’ She rolled her eyes, and a small hint of that smile I loved returned with it.
‘Nah. She might have made a big deal out of me, but those times I came and saw her, it was you she kept looking out for. It was all you.’ Zoe had been special to her—anyone could see it. I guessed, when you spent a lot of time in a place so far from home, it was hard not to become attached.
‘I never got to tell her how the trials went.’ Zoe looked at her tea, as if it held the answers. ‘Never got to prove to her that women could do it too.’
‘You can still tell her.’ I squeezed her leg. ‘I’m sure even from wherever she goes after here, she’ll hear it.’
We sat in silence for a while. I sipped my tea, then placed it on the table.
‘I still can’t believe you walked out of the ceremony.’ She gave me a small smile. ‘Do you know who won?’
‘No. I left my phone in the car on the way to the casino.’
‘Sawyer, no, I—’
I held out a hand to stop her. ‘It doesn’t matter. Tonight, I was the only place I needed to be.’
She looked at my hand, then linked her fingers through it. ‘I appreciate that, but you have to know I never expected it. This isn’t like James choosing football over me when we were teenagers. This was real. This was something far bigger.’
‘It was.’ I nodded. ‘This was life or death.’ This was the woman I loved.
‘I …’ Her chest rose as she inhaled. ‘I have to apologise. Last week, after what you said at the GF, I shut down.’
‘It’s okay—’
‘It’s not.’ She shook her head. ‘I didn’t want to hear what you had to say because I didn’t want it to affect my decision. And once I knew how you felt, how could that not factor into whether I stayed or whether I left?’
My heart sunk. Was she angry I’d made things difficult for her?
‘But then I realised I wasn’t going for the reasons I’d thought I was. I was going to try and live up to this model my mother set for me—but that model was one that fit her. Not me. I’m my own person.’ She straightened in the chair, her gaze meeting mine. ‘I still want to help people. But I want to play Aussie Rules, too. And if I don’t get picked up, I’m going to train so very hard that next season, they won’t be able to refuse me.’
I grasped her hand tighter. ‘You’re staying?’
‘Yes. And I didn’t want to admit it before, because I was afraid, and because I didn’t like feeling as if I needed a man to make me whole, but you—Sawyer, you make me happy. And you’re part of the reason I don’t want to go.’
My hand dove through her hair. I pulled her face closer to mine until I the sweet taste of her perfume reached my lips. ‘That is the best damn news I’ve heard in a long time.’
‘I love you, Sawyer,’ she whispered against my lips. ‘I love you so damn much.’
I leaned closer. Our lips connected in a kiss that was lust, and it was passion, and it was kindness, and it was love. It was two people moving in time with each other, when nothing else existed.
And as she led me to her room, I knew that when it came to her, nothing ever would.
***
Zoe
Sawyer stripped me naked with the utmost of care. Each caress of my body was tender, sweet, as if he didn’t want to break me. As if I were the most precious thing in the world, and that was how he made me feel.
I ran my hand over the broad expanse of his chest. Want stirred between my legs, only now that the moment was finally here, it was so much more than just need. It was love. It was showing him that he was everything to me.
‘Are you ready?’ he whispered, positioning himself between my legs.
I nodded. ‘Yes.’
He shifted his hips.
So full. So big.
I looked into his eyes as he hovered over me. Only love shone back at me. Love and understanding and compassion.
And as he moved, slowly stretching me wider, my heart swelled. This was where I was supposed to be. Here and for the next year, and the one after that.
With Sawyer.
Yes.
‘Zoe,’ he breathed, threading his hands through my hair as he moved faster, his breathing laboured. My orgasm built, twisting low like an itch that needed to be scratched until our pace became frantic, my body singing at his every touch, his every move.
‘I love you,’ he cried. His face twisted in pleasure.
My climax rocketed through me, wave after wave of blissful release.
And as we lay there in silence, our breaths heavy on the air, I knew that everything would be alright.
Chapter 37
Sawyer
‘Zoe!’ a woman yelled.
My eyes shot open. What the hell?
‘Zoe, if you don’t open up and give me all the juicy details now, I will come in there and find out myself.’
‘Ugh,’ Zoe groaned from the pillow beside me. She opened one eye, meeting my gaze, then grabbed the quilt and pulled it over her head. ‘Just ignore her. She’ll go away eventually.’
‘You’re really not a morning person, are you?’ I pulled back the edge of the quilt cover, exposing her face to the slats of yellow sunlight filtering into the room.
‘No.’ She scowled. ‘Or at least, I’m trying my best not to be.’
‘You get some rest, and I’ll deal with that.’ I tilted my head toward the door. Someone was hammering on the other side of it now, clearly not taking no for an answer. ‘You need a good sleep.’
I stood, stretching my arms above my head. Damn, that felt good. In fact, I felt better than I had in weeks—months. Years, even.
The right woman could do that to you.
I jerked the door open a crack. Two angry brown eyes met me on the other side. That receptionist from the Happy Families House. ‘Zoe’s busy right now. You wanna come back later?’
Her jaw dropped. Her eyes skimmed my naked chest, then flicked back up to meet me. ‘I … am so sorry. I will come back later.’
‘Good plan.’ I winked, closing the door and stifling a laugh. Wonder how hard she had to try not to look down at the jewels.
I slid back into bed beside Zoe, her green-brown eyes on mine, but she wasn’t smiling.
Shit.
Emily.
Of course.
I swept a strand of hair out of her face. ‘How you feeling?’
<
br /> ‘Not great. I just keep thinking about her … how beautiful she is.’
She was.
She winced, and I knew she thought it too.
‘You did everything you could.’
‘I know.’ She gave a small smile. ‘Life is just so unfair sometimes.’
‘It is.’ I paused. ‘But sometimes, it’s beautiful, too.’ You’re beautiful.
‘Oh!’ She turned and grabbed her phone from the bedside table. ‘I forgot to look and see who won the award last night.’
‘Huh.’ It had completely slipped my mind. It felt like so many bigger, more important things had taken place.
She tapped on her screen before her lips turned down and she met my gaze. ‘Sorry. Braden won.’
‘No, he didn’t.’ I wrapped my arms around her. Her body was so soft. I wanted to feel it against my own just one more time before I got up to shower. Just once …
‘Babe, he did.’ Zoe frowned in confusion, pushing at my chest.
‘No.’ I kissed her neck, and she sucked in a breath. That, right there—I loved it when she made that sound. ‘Right now, I’ve never felt more like a winner in my life.’
Epilogue
Two months later
Zoe
‘You want me to come with you?’ Sawyer asked.
‘It’s fine.’ I put one hand on the car doo r, my other grabbing the wrapped parcel from the floor of the car. ‘I’ll only be a second.’
‘Yell out if anything changes.’ He leaned down to his door and pulled out a copy of Lonely Planet Africa. ‘I’ll just do some light reading until you return.’
‘You know where we’re going we don’t need the tourist info, right?’ I laughed. Ever since we booked the working holiday, Sawyer had gone above and beyond to show me how dedicated he was to our trip over there. Kristy hadn’t agreed to let him work in a hospital, but she’d begrudgingly given permission for us to help build an orphanage in one of the smaller struggling towns, muttering something about it being good enough for Brad Pitt, so she supposed it was good enough for us.
‘We may not need the tourist info, but it doesn’t hurt to know regardless.’ Sawyer opened the book up, already so focused.
‘Okay. I’ll be back soon.’ I gave him a small wave as I headed down the path.
With each step, my smile fell a little. No matter how many times I did it, this walk never got easier. I tightened my grip on the package by my side, but it felt heavier than it should.
When I finally reached her grave, I knelt by it. Emily Amanda Stephenson.
I’d been surprised Nick had chosen to bury her there, but apparently his wife grew up in the area, and since she was buried there, he wanted their baby girl to be with her too.
‘Hey,’ I said, running my finger over the engraved letters. ‘I know it’s been a few weeks since my last visit, but my mum came to stay. And while I’m sure you’re loving spending all your time with your mother right now, mine? Sometimes, she can be a little full-on.’
I’d been surprised when she’d called from the airport in Bangkok, saying she was on her way back to see me.
Of course, it turned out I needn’t have been so thrilled. What I’d hoped was a chance for us to reconnect on a deeper level turned out to be an intervention. She thought that if she came to plead her case in person, remind me of the woman I ‘really’ was, that I’d stop this Aussie Rules nonsense and recommit to my plans in Africa.
Of course, it hadn’t worked.
‘Anyway, I’m here now. I thought it only fitting that I come and spend some time with you. Because I miss you, Emily.’ Tears pricked at my eyes, and I blinked them back. ‘I miss the way we used to watch the games together every week, even if you supported the wrong team. I miss the way you’d snuggle into my side when I’d read to you.’ I sniffed. God, I missed her so much. ‘And I miss the way you reminded me that I could do anything. That women could do anything.’
I brushed at a speck of dirt on my red and black uniform. ‘I really wish you were here today because I know you would be so proud to see me play. I really wanted you to see me play.’
I sobbed. It stuck in my throat, a burst of emotion. How had I gotten so attached? Even now, two months after her death, Emily was on my mind.
‘It’s our first game of the professional W.A.R. season, and I wanted to let you know that I’ll be thinking of you. Every step of the way, I’ll be thinking of you.’ I pressed my hand lightly on the grave in farewell. ‘I love you, Emily.’
I placed the copy of Little Women down on the grave beside her, then stood, swiping under my eyes with my fingers. Time healed, but it never erased the wound completely.
I turned and ran straight into Sawyer’s chest. He wrapped his arms around me and I collapsed into his hold.
‘Let it all out, babe,’ he said softly into my hair. ‘Let it all out.’
I cried. I cried, and I cried, and I cried, and then later on the field, I played as hard and as fast as I could, all in the name of the beautiful child I’d had to say goodbye to. The little girl who’d forced me into following my dream before I even knew it was my dream. Back when it was still just an idea.
And as our team won the first game of the season, as we celebrated later that night, Sawyer was right there beside me.
‘So proud of you.’ He kissed me again, and a few of the girls groaned. ‘Can’t wait till people start asking me if I’m Zoe Taylor’s boyfriend.’
‘They won’t need to ask if you keep stuffing your tongue down her throat like that.’ Candice, one of my teammates, laughed, and a few others joined her.
‘Thank you for helping me achieve my dreams.’ I lowered my voice, needing Sawyer to know just how much he meant to me. ‘It wasn’t easy at times, but you stuck by me even when the going was rough. Even when this was a whole new ball game for me.’
‘I love you, Zoe,’ he said. He kissed my lips again, and my heart surged. I was the luckiest woman in the world. ‘And for the record, it was never just a game to me.’
Thanks for reading A WHOLE NEW BALL GAME. I hope you enjoyed it.
If you’d like to know more about me, my books, or to connect with me online, you can visit my webpage LaurenKMcKellar.com, follow me on Twitter @LaurenKMcKellar, or like my Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/LaurenKateMcKellar
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You’ve just read a book in the Women of W.A.R. series. The other books in this series are Game On, Long Game and Fair Game.
If you liked this book, you may also enjoy some of my other Escape Publishing books, More than a Promise (A Mindalby Outback Romance) and Finding Home.
This book was published by Escape Publishing. If you’d like to sample some more great books from my fellow Escape artists, please turn the page.
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