“What are you two lovebirds fighting about?” Will asks, noticing Haze’s frown.
“Is that even a question? She’s leaving Friday,” Kendrick says.
Haze doesn’t reply, his jaw tightening. He might have said yes to the East side coming, but that doesn’t make them any less annoying to him. We wait for a few more minutes. As the line for Death lessens, the nerves in my stomach expand. The employee finally motions to come closer since we’re next.
“You guys go ahead. I’m not dying today.”
Haze smolders his eyes at me and stops me right before I wiggle my way under the red rope marking the line’s perimeter.
“I’ll stay with you,” he says to be a good boyfriend, but I know how much he wants to do it.
“No, go. I’ll be fine. I promise.”
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely. I’ll go get something to eat. I’m starving.”
“You’re the best.” A riveting smile tugs at his lips.
I love seeing him like this. I love seeing him smile.
Really smile.
“I’m hungry, too. Get me one of whatever it is you’re getting,” Kendrick says.
“Me too,” Will adds.
“Same for me,” Alex joins.
And… I’m feeding them all.
The usual.
I laugh and watch them get inside the giant balls—no cute way to say it, sorry—as the worries on my mind slip away. It’s been so long since we’ve just been happy. No problems. No attacks. No crazy girl trying to ruin my relationship. There’s always some kind of disaster recently, but not today. Today’s our day.
“I love you.” Haze turns his head to look at me as he walks.
“I love you more,” I say right back. Kendrick starts gagging as Will and Alex break out into a fit of chuckles. They think we’re cheesy, but I don’t care. Right now, we’re happy.
And it’s all that matters.
I walk toward the food court, my stomach grumbling loudly, and stop in front of the soft pretzels stand. I get in line behind a family of five and fidget with my shirt, my only source of entertainment a rock on the ground. Intent on winning the no phone challenge, I kick it, roll it with the tip of my shoe, and wait for my turn to come. The young girl in front of me drops a teddy bear I assume she won today, and I pick it up, giving it back to her.
Then, I see him.
A few feet away from me.
The person I’d somehow convinced myself had stopped existing the day we left him behind. The one guy whose betrayal I will never forgive.
Blake.
He’s looking right at me, standing completely still in the dense and moving crowd. I can’t tear my gaze away, the deep blue of his eyes taking me back to the last time I saw him. He was going to pull the trigger. He was this close to killing me. Then he got shot in the leg. Kendrick told me about the rumors. The whispers on the street. People said that Blake had left town. He sure couldn’t come back to school anymore, not when Kendrick had promised to destroy him if he ever saw him again. But he’s obviously returned. Along with his ability to walk.
My fear turns into terror when he does the simplest yet creepiest thing I’ve ever seen.
He smiles.
“Miss, are you ready to order?” the stand employee asks, and I nod, stepping forward to tell her what I want.
By the time I look again… he’s gone.
I’m not hungry anymore, but I still order seven pretzels double the size of my hands for everybody. At the same time, I spot them in the distance. They’re laughing, radiating happiness.
“You have no idea what you just missed,” Kendrick says, wrapping his arm around my neck to tousle my hair. I have to punch him twice to get my freedom back.
“He’s right. You would’ve had the time of your life if you weren’t such a chicken,” Will mocks.
“Don’t listen to them.” Haze smiles as I distribute the food among the pigs—I mean, the guys.
I consider telling them about Blake. I made the mistake of not telling them about the unknown number texting me once, and we all know how that turned out. I’m about to, but when Will pies Kendrick in the face with the pretzel and the group howls with laughter, I can’t go through with it. Blake’s presence might be a pure coincidence. I know they’d want us to leave when there really is no need to overreact.
It can wait until we get home.
“Is everything okay?” Haze asks suspiciously.
He knows me too well.
“Yes, everything’s fine,” I lie, getting on my tiptoes to kiss his cheek. “For the first time in forever, everything’s fine,” I repeat.
The night has fallen, and the colorful lights spreading all around the site fascinate us almost as much as it does the many children still dragging their parents around. They’ll be going home soon and surrendering the amusement park to older crowds. The teenagers looking for a thrill will come flowing through the front gates soon.
“What about the Ferris wheel?” Mia claps her hands in excitement and points to the rotating ride.
“Why not? I could use a nap,” Haze mocks, and we laugh, as in all of us. Even Kendrick. I never thought I’d see the day these two would kind of get along.
“I wouldn’t mind,” Kass says, peeking at Will from the corner of her eye.
“Me neither.” He clears his throat.
I smile. Can they be any more obvious?
I bet these two are just dying to secretly hold hands up there.
“Why is it so far though?” I wince. I’ve been wearing my new shoes all day and my feet are killing me.
Haze doesn’t say anything, just steps in my way and beckons me to climb on his back, which I do without so much as a second thought. I laugh and wrap my legs around his waist as he runs across the crowd too fast for the guys to catch up. I snort like an actual pig and suddenly give the expression “piggyback rides” its meaning. We’re both howling like idiots. Yep, it’s official. We’ve just reached a whole new level of cheesy.
He lets me down, and we wait for the group to meet us in front of the line. When they do, we form the teams. Haze goes with me, Will goes with Kass—shocker—Alex with Mia and… Kendrick finds himself alone.
“What about me?” Kendrick complains.
“Don’t worry, I’ll go with you, handsome.” A sixty-something-looking lady in front of us turns around and offers Kendrick a toothless smile before taking his hand. “Come on, we’re next.”
Kendrick widens his eyes as she drags him to their seat. We’re all laughing so hard our stomach hurts. Minutes later, we’re good to go, the sound of the engine roaring indicating the beginning of very slow motion. The view is mesmerizing, top of the wheel or not. I look at Haze to see him already staring at me.
“View’s this way.” I smile, and he opens his mouth. I cut him off before he gets a chance to speak. “I swear to God if you say something cliché like ‘My view’s better,’ I’ll slap you in the face.”
“Why you always got to ruin my lines, Kingston?” he teases and puts his arm around me.
“I had to.” I put my hands up. “Before someone calls the cheesy couple police on us.”
He doesn’t reply, silently staring at me. Today’s been perfect. He’s been perfect. On his face is the smile that started it all. The smile that put my dumb ass into this mess in the first place. The only smile with the power to shake me, make me, and shatter me all at once.
“Is this the part when you kiss me on top of the Ferris wheel?” I ask, but I already know the answer.
He chews on his lip, his eyes falling to mine, and smirks. “You bet your ass it is.”
When his mouth meets mine and his fingers brush my jaw, I want to die. Not because I don’t love him. Not because I don’t care. But because I do. Too much. Too hard. Too everything. The love, the familiar taste of his lips, the feverish need only he gives me. It makes my heart bleed.
Because I know in a few days, I’ll be on a plane. A plane taking me
somewhere he won’t be.
“Attention please. We kindly ask the couple in the back to get a room. Thank you,” Kendrick calls from afar. Will, Alex, and Mia burst out laughing. We stop kissing. Kass and Will have been so busy mentally stripping each other down it’s a wonder they even noticed we were making out.
Then, the magical moment ends. We come back down to earth, the pressure of all the things the next day will bring weighing on me. I can’t believe that prom is tomorrow.
We spend the rest of the night talking with Irene, the kind granny Kendrick rode the Ferris wheel with. She’s sixty-eight years old, and her husband proposed to her on top of this exact Ferris wheel forty-seven years ago. They constantly came back for their anniversary until he passed away from cancer. Today is their anniversary. She still comes. Every year. Without exception. She does it to remember him. The love of her life.
This is the most beautiful story I’ve heard in a long time.
The drive back to Maria’s place feels heavy, stressful. It’s been like this since I told Haze that I was leaving. When night falls, marking the end of yet another day, he becomes this dry, cold person.
“Thank you for today.” I smile when he parks his new car on the side of the street. Maria’s working a night shift tonight, which means that Haze might actually be able to get in using the front door.
“Why?” He smiles.
“You didn’t have to say yes to them coming, but you did. Thank you for making a compromise.”
“Yeah, well, maybe I’m hoping you’ll do the same for me when the time comes.” He isn’t smiling anymore. He’s icy. It doesn’t take a genius to understand what he’s talking about.
“Haze, can we just…” I pause. “Not do this tonight?”
“Then when? Tell me. Please. Because I can feel you slipping through my fingers a bit more every day, and it’s driving me insane. Are you really going back?”
I sigh, well aware that the answer he so desperately wants is not one that I can give him.
“I tried today. I really did.” He speaks again. “And it worked. For a second there, I let myself forget that in less than forty-eight hours, the only person who makes me happy will be on a plane taking her miles away from me, but I can’t ignore it anymore, Winter. The happier we are right now, the harder it’s going to be when you leave.”
“If it were you in my shoes, right now. What would you do? If your entire life, your family, your friends were in another country. What would you do?” I reach for his hand.
“I’d stay. Because I love you.” He takes his hand back, his anger eating him whole. He says that now… but he doesn’t fully understand what it means to have a family. People that he can trust. To feel safe. I have that back home.
“Haze, I just… you know where I stand. I’m homesick. I miss being able to sleep at night without wondering if someone’s coming for me. I miss my stepsiblings, my stepdad. I miss my best friend. They matter to me.”
“But I don’t…” he says quietly, like he’s talking to himself, and doesn’t wait for me to tell him how wrong he is. Instead, he reaches over to unbuckle my seat belt, and I stare at him in shock.
“I can’t. I can’t just stand by and wait for you to leave me. I’m sorry.” His words cut me open.
“Haze, please don’t do this. We don’t have much time left,” I beg. “Come inside, we’ll—”
“Have a good night, Winter.” He stretches and opens my car door for me. I can’t believe him. He’s kicking me out.
“Fine, be mad at me. But I love you. More than anything. So when you’re sleeping alone tonight, it’s by choice. I’m not going to apologize for missing my home.”
“Just like I’m not going to apologize for loving mine. My life is here, Winter. Not in some snow-buried country.” Emotions deplete from his voice. He’s shutting me out. The way he always does when things get hard.
“Fine. Then we’re clear.” I close my watery eyes, take a deep breath, and get out of his car without looking back. No one’s home yet.
Kass’s going to Morgan’s birthday party tonight, and everybody was riding with Will, which means the guys have to drop off Alex and Mia on the way back. I hear the roar of Haze’s car echo as it screeches down the street, and it takes everything in me not to fall to my knees right there and cry all the tears my body allows me to. I insert the key into the hole but curse in annoyance when the door opens by itself. Kass must’ve forgotten to lock up again. I enter the house and drop my stuff on the counter.
“Hello, Winter.”
I jump and look up.
He’s right there. The guy who gave me nightmares. He’s casually standing in my kitchen. And the only thing on my mind when he takes a step toward me is the fact that this could’ve all been avoided.
If only I had told the truth…
“Blake?”
33
Prom And Disasters
I’ve regretted fighting with Haze a lot in the past few weeks. I’ve wanted to get a second chance at a conversation and slap some sense into myself way too many times to count. But I’ve never regretted fighting with him as much as I am regretting it right now. Because the row I was in with him… is the reason I find myself alone with a psychopath.
I should’ve told the guys. But I didn’t. Because I wanted this perfect day to last. I wanted us to be careless teenagers. Just once.
“How the hell did you get in here?” I ask, finding the pepper spray in my purse and holding it up to his face. I’ve been cherishing it ever since the Ryan incident.
“Easy!” He puts his hands up in surrender. “The door was open. I was worried someone broke in.”
I scoff at his pathetic excuse. The only intruder in this house is him and he knows it.
“You need to leave, right now.” I try to sound as threatening as I possibly can.
“I’m not here to hurt you, Winter. I promise, I just want to talk.”
“Not interested. Get the hell out!”
He holds his hands up to his face—probably in anticipation of getting sprayed in the eyes—and steps forward. But the last thing I want is to get into a fistfight with him when I’m home alone, so I jerk away, reach for the door, and swing it open… but I can’t run out of the house.
Because Will’s standing in the doorway.
I have never been happier to see this buffoon.
I might not die today.
“What’s wrong? Have you seen yourself in the mirror?” he mocks, but his bad joke flies right by me. He quickly spots what I was running from—or should I say, who—and his face collapses. Kendrick walks in seconds later and displays a similar reaction, but the rage crawling out of him allows me to prepare for what he intends to do.
“Kendrick, no!” It takes every ounce of strength in my body to stop my cousin from pouncing on Blake. I’m not sure Maria would be pleased to see her white welcome mat has turned red when she comes back tonight.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Kendrick barks as Will pulls me behind him.
“I came here to apologize,” Blake dares to lie.
“Apologize? Are you serious right now? You didn’t push me on the sidewalk. You tried to kill my family. You can shove your apology up your a—”
Blake interrupts him. “I heard you’re a member short.”
“So?” Kendrick’s fists are weapons. Weapons that Blake will be closely introduced to if he doesn’t leave soon.
“I want back in. Please, I’m sorry. Betraying you was the biggest mistake of my life.”
He’s lying. That’s all he knows how to do.
“Get the hell out of my house before I kill you.” Kendrick strides to him and stops barely one inch away from his ex-fighter’s face.
“Kendrick, we were best friends,” Blake says, upset that his plan to get our trust and murder us in our sleep isn’t working.
“We weren’t best friends.” A tiny bit of emotion peeks through my cousin’s voice. “We were brothers… and you betrayed me. Y
ou betrayed all of us.”
Understanding that sweet-talking Kendrick isn’t his way in, Blake turns to me. He’s even dumber than I thought if he believes he has better chances with me.
“Winter, when I saw you at the fair today, I just… I realized how much I missed the East side. I had to at least try,” he says. “You have to believe me, I never meant to hurt you.”
The laugh Kendrick emits next is loud, throaty—chilling.
“I’m sorry, you mean to tell me that you accidentally tied her up and pressed a gun to her head? You don’t just trip into a fucking murder attempt!”
The fist Kendrick puts up causes Blake to finally take his warning seriously.
“Fine, I’m leaving.” He walks to the door. “But I really am sorry. I learned from my mistake. I’d do anything for a second chance.”
“Yeah, and I’m the queen of England.” Will rolls his eyes.
Probably because he’d like to leave with his two legs, Blake exits Maria’s property as Kendrick carefully watches through the window to make sure he gets back into his car on the other side of the street. Then, when the threat goes dormant, they turn to me.
“When he saw you today at the fair? What the hell is he talking about?” Kendrick reminds me of what Blake said.
Busted…
I lie awake in my soon-to-be empty bedroom and replay the conversation I just had with the guys in my head. So… to sum it up: I’m a moron. They wouldn’t let me hear the end of it, and what’s worst is I can’t even blame them. They’re right. I should’ve told them. Who knows what could’ve happened if Will hadn’t walked in when he did?
Plus, because my guilt isn’t unbearable enough as it is, Haze decided to take up all the remaining room in my brain and steal any chance of sleep away from me. I can’t stop thinking about him alone at his place.
Unspoken Rules Page 31