The bottle spun again. This time, the dares were less innocent. The boys began to demand time in the bathroom. The girls shrieked and protested, but they went into the bathroom with the boys anyway.
Leo, who was still smarting from the embarrassment of the Lake College situation, wasn’t paying attention when the bottle landed on her.
It was Dave’s turn. But before she could choose truth or dare, he didn’t give her a choice. “I dare you to kiss me in the bathroom. Come on.”
“Leo—no!” said Mish. “Leave her alone, Dave! Leo, you don’t have to!”
But everyone had done it. Andie had gone in with Deacon. Shona with Scott. Why should she be any different?
Dave looked her over coolly. Leo didn’t like the way he was looking at her, but she ignored it. He’d ignored her at the mall and all night, but now she had his attention. Plus, she was just trying to fit in. It was only a few minutes alone in the bathroom. What were they, in middle school? She could handle him.
She stood up and followed him into the bathroom.
Dave locked the door behind him.
He turned the lights off.
Leo braced herself for a kiss. She’d already kissed one boy tonight, what was another?
But before she knew what was happening, he’d pushed her down on her knees and unzipped his fly. His hand was on her head, insistent.
What was going on, what was happening? This wasn’t what she’d agreed to, and her heart was pounding. She was woozy, and a little scared.
Why had she volunteered to do this? How did she get here? On her knees in Stacey Anders’s guest bathroom with some jock asshole’s hand on her head?
She scrambled, but Dave held her there, in front of his crotch. There was an edge to his voice, a menace she hadn’t noticed before.
“Come on, kiss me.”
She did.
TWENTY-SIX
Brandy and Cigars
(or Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk)
October 19
The Present
11:30 P.M.
Where were you?” Ellie demanded when she finally caught sight of Todd. He had emerged from the bushes. Was that where he was fucking that girl? The bushes? What was this, Central Park? But he was walking over with Sanjay, who’d come from the hedges too, and Todd’s pants didn’t have telltale marks on the knees. So maybe Todd wasn’t fucking that girl in the hedges? Ellie was confused. What was he doing over there, then?
“Sorry, babe,” he said. Todd smelled like weed. Cannabis. You were supposed to say cannabis now and not weed. Weed was trashy. Weed was Jeff Bridges as The Dude heading off to the bowling alley. Weed was Beavis and Butthead. Cannabis was Silicon Valley. Cannabis was Coachella, but the VIP room.
The caterers were passing trays of Calvadoses and Cubans. The apple brandy served in snifters and the cigars hand-rolled on the premises by a company her party planner hired for the evening. The sweet smell of tobacco and brandy infused the night.
“We did the slideshow already,” Madison accused as Nathaniel hit the lights back on.
“Okay, okay, but I can still make a speech, right?” he asked.
Madison rolled her eyes.
Ellie sighed. “Sure. Why not.”
He kissed her forehead. “Calm down, babe.”
Todd stepped up to the microphone. “Hello, hello, how is everyone? As most of you know, and I hope you do, I’m Todd, Ellie’s husband. Your host. First of all, we’d like to thank everyone here tonight, especially those who traveled from so far away to be here today, and that includes our friends from the Valley.” (Polite laughter from the crowd, since technically the Valley was part of Los Angeles, but it was far away spiritually and stylistically, even though half of the people at the party actually lived there. The Valley was to LA what New Jersey was to New York.) “Tonight means so much to us; we are so happy to have everyone here to share such a meaningful moment in our lives.” He coughed.
“I just wanted to say a few words about this beautiful woman whom I’m proud to call my wife.” He turned to Ellie directly. She really was so beautiful, even though she was older now, ten years older than when they’d first met, and starting to have those little lines on the side of her eyes, which only made her more beautiful. He hated that frozen Botox look. He was glad Ellie did it sparingly, or had a really good doctor. “Ellie, you are the bravest, smartest, most hardworking woman I know. I am floored every day by your energy, your enthusiasm, your whole-hearted dedication to our life and our children. I am so incredibly lucky. Nothing would be possible without you. You make everything happen. The best day of my life was the day that we met.”
Awwwww from the crowd.
“You don’t look a day over thirty-nine!”
Everyone laughed.
“I wish you the happiest birthday, and here’s to many, many more.” He raised his champagne glass—(thanks, Madison, for putting one in hand right on time)—and the crowd did the same. “To Ellie!”
“To Ellie!” they chorused.
Clink, clink, clink.
Ellie blushed. It was exactly the kind of speech she wanted her husband to give, and yet she couldn’t enjoy it. She wasn’t even listening. She hardly heard a word he’d said. Her mind was whirling with doubt. Why had he looked so relieved when the process server handed her the papers for the lawsuit? What did he know? And who was that girl he was talking to earlier?
But before she could dwell on it too much, Sanjay was already elbowing Todd out of the way. “Ellie didn’t ask me to make a speech tonight, but I wanted to anyway,” he said, his brown face crinkling in a smile.
“I didn’t ask anyone to make one!” she yelled. (Except Todd of course.) She’d only wanted a speech from her husband. Even if she didn’t actually listen to it.
She didn’t need speeches, didn’t need toasts; she didn’t need anyone to throw bouquets at her feet, didn’t need it and didn’t want it. But perhaps it was too much to expect that anyone would not thank her for this weekend, for this party. They were her friends, after all. She had to remember that.
So one by one, they stood up and paid their tribute. First Sanjay with the usual story of how they met (She called me the Math Nerd!) and some fun memories of their kids growing up together, how they’d flipped that Jet Ski in Belize. (He was good enough not to mention all that trouble with Archer in Dubai.)
The speeches kept coming. A few of her girlfriends, the former models, with way too many anecdotes of fashion-show backstage high jinks and partying at clubs and remember when we were almost kidnapped in Dubai by that crazy sheik! (Which we would sooner forget; thanks for bringing it up.) Then the fellow parents from the kids’ schools, generic, bland speeches about how lucky they were to know her and Todd (they were right about that). It was sad to realize no one truly knew her. No one from her past, no one who knew her from before. No family either. Her mom had passed a few years ago, and as for her dad, he was, as they say, better off dead.
The only one at the party who knew her as a teen was Archer, and he’d been interested only in her body and her youth then. He didn’t even know anything about where she’d come from. Of course, Mishon had been invited, but she’d sent last-minute regrets. Maybe she couldn’t stand to see Ellie this way, even if Ellie had been Ellie for so long now. But maybe she couldn’t stomach whom Ellie had become for one more night.
* * *
—
“Did you know Samantha is flunking out of college?” Ellie asked when the speeches were over and she found her husband in the corner, eating a second piece of Milk Bar Crack Pie. “Really, Todd? Another piece?”
He crammed the last bite into his mouth and shot her a look of contempt. “No one else is eating. It’s all going to waste.”
“Yeah, your waist,” she said.
“Stop being a bully.”
“Okay, right, I’m sor
ry,” she said, shoulders slumping. “Did you know?”
“About Sam?” He frowned. “I think so. Some kind of problem with plagiarism?”
“What? She didn’t mention that, only that she had to pull up her grades. Todd! You were supposed to be on top of that!”
“I know, I know, I’m sorry. I thought she mentioned something, but I figured she’d deal with it. She’s always been able to before.” He had crumbs around his mouth and she wished he would wipe them off; he looked like a pig. Honestly, what was she so worried about? What twenty-year-old would want to sleep with him?
“Well, she’s not!” Samantha wasn’t dealing with it, and neither was Todd. No one was dealing with it, which meant that, as usual, she would have to fix this. What was new? It was so tiring always being the one who did everything. Often. Often the one who did everything. Fuck, what difference did it make? Always, often, it came down to the same thing, didn’t it? Just another chore on her list. “Sam is not dealing with it, Todd! She’s going to get kicked out! Of Stanford!” The absolute horror.
How would she face her friends? What would everyone say? It was too humiliating. She had enjoyed Sam’s academic triumph so much as if it were hers. While her friends told stories of kids slinking home freshman year, not able to hack it, or having to send them to community college, of all places, after paying hundreds of thousands of dollars on private school tuition, Ellie had been smug with the knowledge that Sam was securely perched at the top of the collegiate heap. So this was what it meant when they said pride cometh before a fall.
“Stanford, Todd! Stanford!” She didn’t have to say any more than that; he, of all people, understood.
“Crap,” he said.
“That’s all you can say about it? Crap?”
“What else is there to say?”
Ellie wanted to strangle him. He’d gone to Harvard, graduated cum laude, of course, although he explained later that everyone graduated Harvard with honors—that it was actually difficult not to. Still, it seemed so easy for him—Harvard, then Harvard Business School (H!B!S!), his luxe little life. So what if Sam had flunked out since there was supposed to be a trust fund somewhere, right? Except she’d emptied the kids’ trusts to keep the business afloat too. (Shhhhh.) There were no trust funds, not anymore. At least the kids still had their college funds. For now.
Ellie had wanted to go to college but never had the chance, never had the grades. She’d always wanted to be one of those girls who went away, to one of those fancy East Coast schools. But girls like her didn’t go to college; at the very most they went to community college, aka thirteenth grade. Girls like her weren’t supposed to end up at this house, with these friends, at this party, and yet here she was, against all those odds. She’d made it. She was the American Dream.
“Of course you don’t care,” she accused.
“I care!” He took another slice of pie. The man had no self-discipline. It was pathetic.
She’d had enough. She was going to confront him. “And by the way, who’s that floozy you’ve been talking to all night?”
“What floozy?”
“The one with the boobs!” She gestured toward her chest and mimed making mounds out of them. Not that she hadn’t had a little work done herself, but then, who didn’t? Just a little lift every couple of years; when they began to sag, she went right back to get them hauled up again. It was like getting a new handbag, and cost about as much. Except she had to hole up in a hotel suite for a few days, but Todd was pretty good about it. He always drained her bandages for her. Whatever. “The little slut you’ve been hanging around all night!”
Todd put down his plate and fork. “I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about!”
“Oh, really.” Her tone suggested she didn’t believe him one bit.
“Yeah.”
“Ellie, I am not having an affair.”
“Prove it!”
He waved his hands in the air in frustration. “How?”
“I don’t know!” She looked over her shoulder. Guests were starting to stare their way. It would be just the icing on the cake for everyone to see her marriage melt down right at the height of her party.
He pointed his beer bottle at her. “What about you?”
“What about me?”
“I saw the texts on your phone.”
“Oh, that,” she said. He’d seen? He saw the texts? Shit! She tried to arrange her face into an innocent expression.
Todd leaned over so that his face was inches from hers. “Yeah, that.”
“It’s nothing,” she said dismissively. So what if he’d seen the texts. They didn’t give away anything. There was nothing there to feel the least bit guilty about.
“Really?”
She raised her chin. “Yeah, you’ll meet him later. He’s no one. It’s nothing. Just someone I used to know.”
“Why don’t I believe you?”
“Well, you should, because it’s nothing.”
“So where is he, then?”
“I don’t know. Maybe he’s not showing up.”
“Are you sad about that?”
“Not really, why?”
“It didn’t seem that way on your phone.”
“Wait, what?” She was confused now, and starting to think that maybe Todd was thinking of something else. “You know, honey, I’m not even sure we’re talking about the same thing now.”
“Um, Ellie?” said Madison-and-Lex, coming up to them with an anxious look on her face.
“WHAT!” Ellie whirled around, murderous.
“The photographer from Vanity Fair is here.”
TWENTY-SEVEN
Double Dare
October 19
Twenty-Four Years Ago
11:30 P.M.
Leo was still wiping her mouth when she came back to the room. David swaggered back with a shit-eating grin.
“You okay?” asked Mish. She looked at David suspiciously.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” It was just like that afternoon, Leo thought. Did she have a sign on her head that said she would do these kinds of things to guys? And it wasn’t as if that had been the only time either. Maybe she was just that kind of girl.
“I told you not to go in there with him,” said Mish accusingly, like it was Leo’s fault. Maybe it was.
I didn’t know that was going to happen. I didn’t know. I thought he just wanted a kiss. I thought that was all he wanted.
“I told you, I’m fine!” she snapped. Could Mish just stop looking at her like that?
The game resumed, but somehow the bathroom dares were over. Leo wondered if Andie and Shona had to do what she’d done, but if they had, they weren’t showing it. Shona was sitting on Deacon’s lap, like they were best buds, and Andie was opening another beer. David excused himself and went to see what the other jock assholes were doing in the other rooms.
Leo hugged her knees to her chest. The bottle fell on Brooks next. Andie couldn’t wait to pounce. “Leo or Mish?” she asked with an evil glint in her eyes.
“Um, one of them’s his girlfriend? No fair!” hollered Deacon.
Andie snapped, “Yeah, but the game is called truth!”
Leo’s cheeks were burning. Her feelings were in turmoil; she wasn’t sure exactly what had just happened with David, and how she had gotten there, but she knew she blamed Mish.
“What do you mean, he might like her over his girlfriend?” asked Deacon.
“It could happen!” Andie argued.
Brooks smiled. “Sorry, Leo. I choose Mish, of course.”
“Boring!” said Andie.
The game went on, and a few moved away from the circle and started playing a drinking game instead. They were low on snacks and drinks, so Mish offered to replenish the stash and grab some beer from the cooler.
“And maybe some chips
or crackers?” Leo asked Mish. She was fully sober now. The taste of David’s sour penis in her mouth had woken her up. She couldn’t pretend that hadn’t happened, but she badly wanted to forget as soon as possible. Maybe if she put something else in her mouth, she would lose the taste.
The bottle landed on Brooks again. He was leaning back, knees crossed in front of him, casual and languid. “Dare,” he said, obviously bored.
“Kiss Leo,” said Olivia.
He raised an eyebrow. Mish still hadn’t returned.
The girls began to titter. “Come on!” said Andie. “It’s a game!”
“Yeah and you already kissed Dave,” sneered Olivia.
Leo colored hotly. Whatever she had done back there, that wasn’t a kiss.
David had pressed himself against her lips, forced her mouth open, and then he was inside her, while he held the back of her head, his hands heavy and strong so that she couldn’t move, she couldn’t breathe, and he’d moved her head back and forth, then slammed himself all the way back into her throat, oh god, it was disgusting, and she was just trying to breathe, and then he’d . . .
She closed her eyes, willing the memory away.
When she opened them, Brooks was already moving toward her. She froze.
“Is this okay?” he whispered.
“Yeah.” She shrugged. She didn’t care. Whatever. Like Andie said, it was a game.
His lips were wet and soft and the kiss was sweeter than the wine cooler she’d been drinking. He put a gentle hand against her cheek. It was so sweet she felt tears come to her eyes. It was everything she’d hoped for. Unexpected. Like a present. Like a birthday surprise.
This was nice. This wasn’t like the other thing. (Thank god no one knew about the other thing.)
Her eyes were still closed and her tongue was still in his mouth when she heard a distinctive voice cut through the silence.
“Um.” It was Mish. She was back.
TWENTY-EIGHT
The Birthday Girl Page 15